Vision of Love

by S. Moose

  Pouring a drink from the bar in the kitchen, I look back and stare at Karly. All I can see are her eyes in my head and looking incredibly sexy in my kitchen. I admit that I have strong feelings for her and we have a great connection, but I’m not sure I’m ready to do the relationship thing again. The thought of claiming her as my girlfriend scares the shit out of me. Dating again is going to suck. I’ve done the wine and dine and romance with Jamie. Can I do it again?

  I walk outside on the deck and place my glass down. Would I be able to fall in love again? I loved Jamie and gave her the world, but she threw it back in my face. Karly’s not Jamie though. Not even close. She makes me feel again and she sees past my faults and accepts me…for me. We’ve only known each other for a short period of time, but she’s all I think about. Maybe tonight we can talk.

  * * * * *

  “Alright Emma’s in bed and I’m exhausted.” Karly makes her way outside and sits down next to me. I grab her legs and place them on my lap giving her feet extra special attention. A moan escapes her beautiful lips and I’m instantly hard. Shit.

  I need a distraction. “Did you and Emma have fun today?”

  “Yeah. Her teachers are really nice and Emma’s making a lot of new friends. We have a lunch date tomorrow with a few of the moms and girls from her class.”

  “That’s good. I’m glad you two are having fun.” My raging cock calms down, finally.

  Silence fills the space between us as we take in the calmness of the night. Sometimes we don’t need words to be comfortable or get to know each other. I study her expression on her face and she looks at peace and in her own quiet world.

  “What are you thinking about?”

  Her eyes look lost and distant. Before she says anything a soft sigh whimper leaves her lips. “When I was ten, my dad and I used to drive to the park. It was just us. He turned off his phone and focused on me. We spent all day walking around and taking pictures. He loved photography and the beauty of nature. It’s one of the better memories I have of him.”

  “Alexis told me what happened between you and your parents. I’m really sorry.”

  Her body tenses, but quickly relaxes. “Yep that’s my life. I woke up and found my mom next to me. I tried waking her up but it was no use. She overdosed on pills and died holding my hand. As freaky and weird as that sounds, I don’t know, it makes me feel a little better I guess.”

  I continue massaging her feet. “I get it. What happened afterwards?”

  “I called the cops and I was rushed to the hospital. I had a million surgeries but nothing took away the scar on my face. It’s permanent. A reminder of my fucked up past.” She wipes her tears away. I quickly get up from my chair and kneel down before her.

  “You’re alive now, Karly. That’s the most important thing. You survived a shittest past and now look at you. You’re absolutely beautiful.” I touch her face and she leans into my touch. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, and I know I don’t say it much, but you mean a lot to me and Emma. You brought back my little girl’s smile…And mine.” She lets out a sigh and closes her eyes. In this moment I can feel her heart beating with mine.

  Chapter 12

  Karly

  I drop off Emma at school and tell her I’ll be back in a few hours. It’s a pretty relaxing Thursday and all my errands are done. I look around the quiet town and decide to head to the beach. A couple strolls past me and immediately my mind goes to Nicholas. After telling him what happened with my parents’ things are…Good. I thought he would’ve ran away, but actually he’s been more attentive and loving. We’re still friends even though we want more.

  I sit on the sand and look at the ocean. I love being on the beach, watching the ocean and thinking. As the waves hit the shore my life comes a little clearer. When it comes to Nicholas we’re going to keep crashing and going back into the motions just like the waves. I know I told him I’d wait, but how is that fair for me? For anyone? I’m about to send him a text when I hear someone walking toward me. I turn around and notice Bradley walking over.

  “Mind if I sit with you?”

  “Sure,” I simply respond.

  He sits next to me, his leg touching mine. That butterfly feeling I get with Nicholas doesn’t exist with Bradley. What we had in Boston, in high school, is gone.

  “You okay?” He turns his head to me and places his hand next to mine on the sand. “You seem sad. What’s wrong?”

  “Have you ever been in a situation where you wanna be with someone but that someone isn’t ready and you told them you’d wait until they were ready?” I stare off to the ocean, not looking at Bradley. I don’t want him thinking I’m talking about him. “I like him, Bradley. My boss.”

  My eyes are still on the ocean. I can’t look over to my right and see the expression on his face. Even though I don’t have feelings for Bradley, I’m not that heartless to want to see his pained look. I let out a sigh and pick up some of the sand, letting it flow freely out of my hands. Why can’t things be easy like this? Why can’t two people be together if they like each other?

  “If you really like him and wanna be with him then you should wait. If you don’t mind me asking why isn’t he making you his?”

  “He’s been hurt before. His wife, well ex wife now, left him and Emma so he’s scared to fall in love again.” A deep sigh escapes my lips. I didn’t realize the tears coming from my eyes until Bradley takes me in his arms. When did everything get so complicated?

  “I really like him. I think I’m falling for him.” Bradley holds me tight allowing time to let my emotions flow freely. For some reason I feel better as if a weight has been lifted from my shoulders and I can finally breathe. “I want you to be happy Karly and if being with Nicholas is gonna make you happy then I want that for you.”

  The sincerity in his voice hurts me a little. I know Bradley wants a second chance, but I can’t give that to him when my heart longs for someone else. “Thanks for being my friend,” I whisper in his ear. “Having you back means a lot and I don’t wanna let you go again.” I didn’t realize how much I needed him until I was back in his arms.

  We continue to sit on the beach a little longer talking about the past and an idea I wanted an opinion on. Bradley told me to go for it and I guess I am!

  When I pick up Emma from school we head to the mall and get some shopping done. This is the first time, in a while, that I let myself enjoy the luxuries of life.

  “Emma what do you think of this dress?” I walk out of the dressing room wearing a strapless light purple dress that hits just above my knees. The satin feels nice against my skin and the jeweled bodice makes the dress pop.

  “Wow Karly! You look like a princess.” Emma’s eyes go wide and she claps her hands. Looks like I have a winner.

  After purchasing the dress we head to the toy store and I get Emma her first American Girl doll. Emma has a great time creating her own doll. I remember how my mom and I would come in the store every year and I’d get a new doll. These are the moments that make life better, seeing Emma happy and giving her memories to cherish.

  Emma proudly carries her doll out the mall and we head home. It’s a quiet ride back. When I turn to check on her, she’s passed out still holding her doll. A smile forms on my face looking at how peaceful and happy Emma looks.

  As soon as we get home there are flowers on the kitchen table. I get Emma upstairs and run back down to see who sent the flowers. When I pick up the card my heart nearly leaps out of my chest.

  Karly,

  It’s simple. You make me smile.

  Nicholas

  “I make him smile.” I feel the butterflies in my stomach. This is what I needed to hear. I don’t want him staying away from me. I want us to be together, but how can I make him see that? I debate on whether or not to text him. I’m not sure what I should say. He’s been sending me flowers once a week, telling me how he feels and that I’m always on his mind.

  Things between Nicholas and I are getting strong
er. We’re getting closer. Each night is spent outside on the deck, under the stars. He drinks his glass of Whiskey and I drink my glass of wine. It’s perfect, really. We talk about everything-our dreams, our passions and the things we want in life. Slowly he’s letting me in and breaking down the walls around his heart.

  Tonight’s the night. I pull up the number for Oliviana’s Italia restaurant and make a reservation for just Nicholas and me.

  Me: Can you watch Emma tonight? I’m taking your brother out to dinner.

  Alexis: Awww that’s so cute! Yes I will def watch Emma tonight!

  Grabbing the dress from the kitchen table, I check the time and run upstairs. It’s three in the afternoon and Nicholas will be home soon. I need to hurry and get ready. When I get back to my room after showering Alexis is on my bed holding a curling iron with a smirk on her face.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” I laugh.

  “Sit down! I’m gonna get you ready for your hot date!”

  We spend hours perfecting every strand and color. It’s almost six by the time she’s done and I’m ready. My nerves are all over the place. I hope I’m doing the right thing and this won’t blow up in my face. I think about the times between Nicholas and me and can’t help but think we’re both ready for this. I’ve been waiting for this moment and I’ve continued to be his friend, but I know there’s more to what we’re feeling. Maybe Bradley’s right and Nicholas is waiting for me to make the first move.

  “Do you think I’m doing the right thing?” I ask Alexis while applying more gloss on my lips. I want tonight to be perfect.

  “I def think so. After hearing about how y’all have been…This is it girl. My brother has always been stubborn so, I know this little push in the right direction will be great!”

  “I hope so,” I mutter hoping that everything will fall into place.

  Alexis drops me off at the restaurant wishing me luck. “Okay so remember tell him to come here and don’t tell him that I’ll be waiting for him.”

  “Got it! Have fun!” Alexis gives me a hug and Emma blows me a kiss. I get out of the car and head inside.

  Nicholas sends me a text letting me know he’s on his way home. I start sweating and shaking. This is not how I want to look when he sees me. I take in a few deep breaths and focus on seeing Nicholas and finally taking the plunge.

  “Karly?” I turn around and see Bradley walking over to me.

  “Hey! What’s up?” I give him a hug and feel his arms holding me tight.

  “You ready for this?” He looks me up and down, raising an eyebrow.

  I nod. “Yeah I am. You didn’t have to come by and check on me. I think I’ll be fine. If not, I’m calling you and we’re getting drunk!”

  He smiles, “It’ll be great. I promise.” He kisses my cheek and tells me to text him with an update about tonight.

  I watch Bradley walk away before heading inside to the restaurant. When I walk inside the interior and decorations take my breath away. The contemporary design is beautiful with the waterfall on the left hand side and fountain in the middle of the floor of the dining area. I’ve never seen anything like this.

  “Hello. Welcome Miss. How may I help you?”

  “Hi. Reservation for two under Erikson.”

  The maître-d’ looks at the computer and smiles, “Ah yes, please follow me.” He looks over my shoulder with a puzzled look on his face.

  “He’ll be here soon. His name’s Nicholas Hayes.”

  “Buono.” I follow him through the restaurant to a private room.

  Wow! Go me! I know the guy is supposed to be the one doing the romantic gestures but I like taking action. Plus girls can be romantic too! I let out a sigh, thinking about Nicholas and an overwhelming feeling rush through my body. I want to know him. I want him to know me. Things seem comfortable between us and when I think of him, I think of us. That sounds so crazy I know, but I don’t care.

  I hear my phone vibrating in my purse.

  Alexis: Have fun! He had the BIGGEST smile on his face when he left. OMG have fun! He should be there in like 3 minutes!

  I squeal to myself. This is it.

  Nicholas walks in through the curtains and I’m standing next to the table with a huge smile on my face.

  “Karly?” Oh his voice is all man and deep and sexy.

  “Surprise!” I go up to him and throw my arms around his neck. Wow he smells so good.

  He lets me go, smiling at me. I wonder what’s on his mind. Is this too much? Shit! Maybe I didn’t think this through. Nicholas kisses the tip of my nose and places his hand on the small of my back leading me to my chair.

  I bite my lip, watching as he sits down. Damn this man wearing a suit makes my mouth water and the need to let him take me here on top of the table explodes in me. The air between us is tense. I’m not sure if it’s a good tense or a bad tense. He watches me and I bite my lip harder. This wasn’t a good idea.

  “I’m surprised.”

  “Huh?”

  He takes my hand, “A good surprise.” His eyes meet mine and I feel my stomach flipping and turning. This is what I want. I want this moment with him. “So what’s all this for?”

  “I don’t wanna play games with you anymore Nicholas. I know you said all you can give me is your friendship, but I really like you. I don’t want us to keep chasing each other.” He doesn’t respond. I put my hands on my lap and rethink my plan again. Why did I ever think he’d look at me the way I look at him? I knew I should’ve let him take the lead. Damn me. Damn. Damn. Damn. I look away from him and bring the menu up to my face. This is so embarrassing.

  ‘Ready to Love Again’ by Lady Antebellum starts playing. The tears threaten my eyes and I immediately clench my butt cheeks. Don’t cry Karly.

  “May I have this dance?” He asks extending his hand to me. I place my hand in his and he spins me around. Laughter fills the room and he has a beautiful smile on his face. My Nicholas.

  We sway to the music, keeping our thoughts to ourselves and holding each other tight. The song takes over our feelings and speaks what’s in our hearts. Flashes of the night when we first danced come to my mind. He makes me feel wanted and loved. In his eyes I’m not invisible, I’m just me...Karly Erikson. I don’t have to play any games and I can tell him what I’m feeling. Everything that doesn’t make sense in the world makes sense when I’m in his arms. Nicholas brings clarity and life back into my existence. He makes me feel and believe again.

  “I’m not scared anymore.” His voice is so low and soft. His hand caresses my face and I lean into his hand. I hear his breathing increase and my heart swells. He’s nervous!

  Without thinking I get on my tippy toes and kiss him with everything I have. His mouth opens, letting my tongue in. Oh, how I missed his lips. Oh, how I missed his kisses. Oh, I just miss him.

  The intensity of our kiss grows with each stroke and dance of our tongues. His hands roam my back down to my ass. Nicholas presses his body to mine. I feel his need against my stomach. Oh my!

  When we break our kiss, we’re both left breathless. “So I guess I can call you my girlfriend now huh?” He says pushing the strand of hair from my eyes.

  “As long as I can call you boyfriend.” We kiss again before heading to the table to sit down.

  “Say it again.”

  “Boyfriend.” He lets out a laugh and takes my hand. A few minutes later our server comes with a bottle of wine and an array of fruits and cheeses. He pours us both a glass and sets the bottle of wine to the side in a bucket of ice. We tell him we need a few more minutes to look through the menu.

  “Of course. I will be back in a few minutes.”

  Nicholas and I lift our glasses in the air, “to us.”

  “To us.”

  The rest of the night is nice and relaxing. Nicholas talks about his day and I let him know how Emma’s doing. When our dinner comes out we sit in silence but I see him looking at me. I love when his eyes are on me. Nicholas makes me feel beautiful.
>
  After dinner we dance a few more times as he holds me close to his body, never wanting to let go.

  “Spend the night with me?” I look at him with a surprised expression. “We don’t have to do anything, baby. I wanna fall asleep with you in my arms. From now on, I wanna be the last thing you see before you close your beautiful eyes and the first person you see when you wake up. Every single day.”

  “Oh Nicholas,” we kiss again, swaying to the music and taking in everything around us. This is our moment.

  Nicholas helps me out of my dress as we both change into something else to sleep in. Usually I’d be nervous changing, but he takes that away. Nicholas gives me the confidence to be brave and not shy. He comes behind me, resting his chin on the top of my head, wrapping his arms around my waist. God I love being in his arms.

  “Alright beautiful let’s go to bed.” We both climb in and I immediately wrap myself in his body. The ache between my thighs grows. Fuck this sucks! I’m so beyond horny! I let out a ragged sigh, burying my head in his chest. “You okay?” I nod. “I know you’re trying to resist my sexy body. I get it. It’d be hard for me too if I were you.”

  “You’re such an ass!”

  “I’ll take it,” he laughs, holding me tighter. “Close your eyes beautiful. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  And with that I close my eyes falling in a deep sleep.

  * * * * *

  Kisses in the morning are the best. I wake up and see Nicholas over my body. Oh my, damn I want him. Suddenly I realize this is the first night since Neil left that I didn’t wake up screaming from a nightmare.

  “You’re my dream catcher.”

  He raises an eyebrow, “What baby?”

  “I didn’t have a nightmare about my dad last night. You’re my dream catcher. You protect me from the bad dreams and the darkness.” He smiles kissing me again.

  “I’ll always protect you.”

  We spend a few more minutes in bed together before it’s time to start the day. While he’s getting ready, I’m in the kitchen preparing a great breakfast for my two favorite people. I make pancakes and eggs and I can’t stop smiling! Life truly is all about taking risks and plunging into the unknown. If I didn’t take the risk then I wouldn’t be standing here in the kitchen making breakfast for my sexy boyfriend. I sigh, boyfriend.