by Leslie Gould
She pulled away from Mervin and he stepped after her.
Everyone laughed even more. At least that part of my plan was working. I tossed Leon’s hat into the trailer and continued on to face my next ordeal.
Hannah froze when she saw me, and the laughter stopped. “Molly! What happened?”
“Lightning bucked me off,” I said.
Her eyes widened. “Where’s Leon?”
“Going after Lightning.”
“On foot?”
“No, on Storm.”
The volume of her voice increased. “Why didn’t you stay to help him?”
I wanted to laugh. “How could I help him?”
Hannah stepped toward Cate and slipped Robbie into his aunt’s arms. “Which trail were you on?”
I pointed to the one at the end of the road.
Hannah took off running right past me, a crazed look in her eyes, as Mervin called after her. “Want me to come along?”
“No,” she called back. I watched until she was out of sight. Before, when she’d grown unstable, she’d shut down. She wasn’t doing that now. It seemed to be the opposite, as if she were winding up.
Then I reeled back around to the others. “It’s not like she’s going to be able to do anything to help.”
“Two sets of hands are a good idea,” Martin said.
“Jah. That Lightning has to be worth a lot of money,” Mervin added, his voice harsh.
“Come sit down,” Cate said.
“I need to wash up,” I responded.
But before I took more than a step, Beatrice said, “We were just talking about you.”
I grimaced.
“Jah.” Phillip smiled.
I could imagine what he’d been saying. When I spent time with him, he’d talked about Addie obsessively. When he and Addie had been courting, he’d gone on and on about the farm he hoped to buy, which he never did. It wouldn’t surprise me if I was the topic of his obsessive talking now.
Jessie rose to her feet, her face red.
Phillip leaned back in the lawn chair, looking as if he were about to tip over.
I headed to the wash station. When I was done I went to the tent. After I changed my clothes, I started to sit down on my sleeping bag, but that hurt, so I reclined on my side.
There was more laughter from the group around the campfire as tears stung my eyes. I’d never felt so alone in all my life.
Far worse than Lightning bucking me off was knowing that Leon intended to go back to Montana.
Why hadn’t he made that clear before I’d fallen in love with him? He’d said true love wasn’t smooth, but I hadn’t expected this. But the truth was I was in love with him. I couldn’t stop how I felt—not any more than I could fathom moving to Montana.
Chapter
15
Hannah’s and Leon’s voices woke me. The tent had grown hot as the sun rose to midday. I rolled off my sleeping bag. I hadn’t meant to fall asleep.
Leon asked, “Where is she?”
“Who?” Mervin asked and then laughed. Maybe that part of my plan was working. But his insincerity stung a little.
Cate’s voice held a hint of exasperation. “She’s in her tent.”
I stood, willing myself to be brave. It wasn’t as if Leon had chosen the horse over me—not really. He’d asked if I was all right before he took off. And Mervin was correct. Lightning was worth a lot of money—and Leon was responsible for her.
And I was sure he hadn’t purposely misled me about Montana. He just didn’t understand why I’d never be able to go.
I unzipped the door and climbed out, determined to put on a positive front. “Here I am.”
Leon was already halfway to me. “Are you okay?”
I nodded.
“Thank goodness Hannah came along,” he said. “I had no idea where you went.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t know how long you’d be.”
“It didn’t take me long to stop Lightning. But then I searched and searched for you.”
I was touched with his concern. I hadn’t thought what it would be like for him to return and have me gone.
He jerked his thumb toward the horses. “You need to get back on,” he said. “The sooner the better.”
I shook my head. Jah, I loved him, but I wasn’t crazy.
“You were doing so well. That was a fluke to have the dog come through like that. Lightning had a relapse is all. Honestly.”
“It’s time to get dinner started,” I said.
“If I remember right, it’s Ben and Beatrice’s turn.”
I frowned.
He reached for my hand. Over his shoulder I could see everyone watching us, including Phillip and Jessie, who obviously had nowhere better to be. At least for once Phillip wasn’t talking.
“Come down to the horses,” Leon said. “It will be good for you—and Lightning.”
“All right.”
I followed him, only to find Hannah brushing Lightning in the little corral.
“Going to get back on?” Hannah asked. She seemed fine now. Maybe her crazed look was simply from worry over the horse.
I shook my head.
Hannah gave a little smirk. I bristled. Maybe she wasn’t fine.
“Don’t you think Molly should?” Leon said to Hannah.
“Oh jah, sure,” she answered. “But it took her all these years since the last time she fell off. Don’t get your hopes up.”
I wanted to tell Hannah not to talk in front of me that way, but I was afraid of sounding catty in front of Leon. And I didn’t want to set her off again. Instead I reached out to stroke Lightning’s neck, but the horse sidestepped, bumping against Hannah, who pushed back.
I attempted to stroke the horse again, more tentatively, but this time she stepped backward.
Hannah popped up from beside the horse. “Could you wait until I’m done?”
“Of course,” I answered, leaving the corral quickly and heading back to the camp. I’d get the meal started—that was something I could do.
“Build the fire up,” I said to Ben as I pulled the bratwurst out of the first ice chest. “Everyone can do their own grilling.” We’d brought kraut and pickled beets, and I would put out the leftover veggies from the night before too. “Come on, Beatrice.”
“You’d better hurry up,” Ben said to her. “If you don’t work you don’t eat.”
“Guess you’ll go hungry today,” she said with a smirk. “Oh, wait, you should be nearly starved by now.”
He patted his nonexistent belly and said, “Vacations don’t count.”
Bea stood and said to Ben, “Well, we’re in charge of this meal so you’d better reconsider.”
He stood and began poking at the fire to stir up a spark as Bea put her hands on her hips and turned to me. “You need to go sit down.”
“Ach, Beatrice . . .”
“We don’t need your help.” She started toward the ice chests.
“Come on,” Cate called out to me, patting the chair beside her.
I hesitated a moment but then complied, calling over my shoulder, “Scrub the potatoes and wrap them in the foil—then put them in the coals.” We used to do that when we camped as children.
Beatrice put her hands over her ears and mouthed, “I know how to fix potatoes!”
She might think she knew, but chances were she wouldn’t do it right. I settled down next to Cate. Robbie sat on her lap and didn’t turn toward me.
“Why don’t you go help Hannah,” I said to Mervin. Maybe Leon would come back then.
Apparently Mervin was so used to taking orders from me on the farm that he obeyed. Or perhaps the chance to spend time with Hannah was all the motivation he needed.
Phillip sat on the other side of the fire with Jessie. She stood and took his hand and said, probably because of me, “We should get going.”
“Come around to our campsite after lunch,” Phillip said. “It’s a nice walk around the lake.”
“Jah,” Jessie said. “I’d like to introduce all of you to my family.”
“We’d like that,” Beatrice said from where she stood behind the picnic table. I imagined she was being unusually friendly, for her, just to annoy me.
“We were planning to take a hike,” Martin said.
“We were?” I leaned forward in my chair.
“Ach, it’s true it’s not on the schedule, but I think we can pencil it in.” Martin stood quickly and walked with Phillip and Jessie to the edge of the camp.
I hadn’t meant it as a challenge. I just hadn’t heard the plan. They headed over to where Mervin, Hannah, and Leon were tending the horses.
I slumped farther down in my chair.
“Bad day?” Cate asked.
I nodded.
“I’ve had a few of those,” she said, patting my shoulder. “It’ll get better.”
Ben knelt down to build the fire up. Robbie squirmed to get down.
“I’ll take him,” Pete said as he reached for the little one, swung him onto his shoulders, and then walked away from the circle of chairs.
Beatrice yelped. She’d dropped the sausages in the dirt. I started to stand, but Cate grabbed my hand. “She’ll figure it out. You made that schedule for a reason. Right?”
I leaned back. I actually wasn’t sure why I’d made that schedule. I couldn’t sit still. It didn’t feel natural. I started to stand, to go get the box of Dat’s shirts to begin cutting up for the quilt for Bea, but Cate put her hand on my arm and pulled me back down.
“Relax,” she said. “This is supposed to be a vacation.”
Ben poured something on the fire—kerosene, probably—and it burst into flames. Cate and I scooted our chairs back. Then Ben strolled over to help Beatrice, but soon they were bickering as if they were still in school together.
I couldn’t stand it any longer. Rather than humiliate Beatrice by yelling across the campsite, I stood and marched over to them. “Stop it,” I whispered.
“What?” Beatrice asked, a dumbfounded look on her face.
“We were just teasing each other,” Ben said.
“Really? That’s not what it sounded like.”
“Molly.” It was Cate, patting my chair.
I returned. “Isn’t their bickering getting on your nerves?”
Cate smiled. “They haven’t figured out how to communicate with each other yet,” she said. “But they’re working on it.”
“Communicate what?”
She smiled, knowingly.
I leaned forward and turned toward her, whispering, “You think they like each other?”
“Jah.”
“Stop!” Ben put his hands over his ears, turning away from Beatrice. “You talk faster than”—he nodded toward the trailer—“a runaway horse.”
Cate laughed. “Isn’t it obvious?”
“At least I make sense,” Beatrice said. “Robbie has a better vocabulary than you do.”
“Ouch,” Ben said, staggering backward. Beatrice gave him a two-handed push, and he fell against the table.
I couldn’t help but smile. “Maybe you’re right.”
“Of course I am,” Cate answered. “Beatrice reminds me of me. She’ll come around. So will Ben. In the meantime, try to stay out of it.”
That’s easier said than done, I thought as I tried to sit still. In another minute, though, I was up gathering roasting sticks from the night before and began burning the marshmallow off of them so they’d be ready for the sausages. Martin came back from walking Phillip and Jessie to the trail that wound around the lake, but then he wandered down to the horses.
Pete was down there too, with Robbie, letting him run around the outside of the corral. Lightning stuck her nose over the railing and sniffed the little boy, who let out a wild laugh. The horse wasn’t spooked at all by the outburst.
After a few minutes, Cate retreated to her tent, probably to read a book. Beatrice and Ben were now arguing about what sausages were made from.
Beatrice pointed at the meat. “Well, these came straight from our butcher.”
“That doesn’t mean it doesn’t have all sorts of stuff in it,” Ben said.
“But it’s all from our pig. It’s not like it’s from some animal we didn’t know. Stop being so persnickety.”
Ben rolled his eyes and retreated to the fire. Beatrice followed him. I drifted over to the kitchen table and finished putting lunch together, calling everyone to gather around when I’d finished.
After lunch, I knew Leon and I needed to talk things through, so I told him I’d stay with him and the horses while the others walked around the lake.
“And go for another ride?” he asked.
I shook my head.
“I’m going to stay and read a book,” Cate said. “I’ll keep an eye on the horses.”
“Oh no,” I said. “We don’t expect you to do that.” The thought of Cate chasing the horses through the campground was humorous—but not if it really happened.
“No, let’s go with the others,” Leon said.
Maybe he didn’t want to talk. Or be alone with me.
He started down to the trailer and I followed. “They’ll be fine. As long as someone’s here—just in case a passerby got the wild idea to ride them or something.” When we reached the horses, Leon checked the leads that were tied to the trailer. “Then we can ride again afterward.”
“About that,” I said. “I really don’t—”
Beatrice, her journal in her hand, called out from the path to the lake. “Are you two coming or not?”
“Coming!” I called out.
When we reached the others, Robbie held a stick in his hand, waving it around as he walked. No one seemed concerned about it.
“Shouldn’t he stay and take a nap?” I asked Pete.
“He’ll take one when we get back,” he said. “A walk will help wear him out.”
Ben and Martin led the way, with Beatrice trailing behind them, carrying her notebook. An Englisch couple ahead on the beach turned to stare at us for a moment and then returned to talking. A dog, not the one responsible for my flight off the horse—this one was small and yippy—darted out toward us. A woman sitting on a picnic table in the trees called him back.
Robbie trailed behind, waving his stick around and around. Pete and Hannah stayed back with him. Mervin caught up with Leon and me, gluing himself to my side. I turned around, taking a few steps backward. Perhaps I’d gotten my hopes up too soon. “Hannah is so good with Robbie,” I said. “Look at her.” Both Leon and Mervin turned around.
She was holding the little boy’s hand, the one not clinging to the stick, and then scooped him up into her arms. Robbie waved the stick our way. Hannah started reciting, “‘Ring around the rosie,’” spinning him around as she did. Somehow she managed to get the stick out of his hand and launched it away without him noticing. Then she smiled at him, her dimples flashing, which sent him into peels of laughter.
She started chanting the nursery rhyme again, this time louder, as if soliciting attention. It worked.
Mervin stopped and waited for them. Robbie fell backwards, secure in Hannah’s arms, his head now upside down, and laughed some more. She laughed, loudly, with him.
Leon and I continued. I glanced over my shoulder. Robbie was walking now with Mervin holding one hand and Hannah the other, talking over the little boy’s head as they strolled along. I smiled. My plan seemed to be working after all. But Hannah concerned me. She seemed on edge. And growing more so.
By the time we reached the halfway point, Robbie had started to fuss. I turned around again. I hoped Pete would take him back for a nap, but he trailed behind, gazing out over the lake at a canoe, with two figures—one large and one small—wearing orange life jackets, heading toward the shore opposite ours.
Hannah scooped Robbie up again, but he started to cry anyway.
“Ach, poor little guy,” Leon said, stopping. “He’s probably missing his Mamm.” I stopped too. When Hannah and Me
rvin caught up with us, Leon put out his hands for Robbie, who fell into them. Leon put the tyke on his shoulders, holding him firmly around the ankles. Hannah started jogging alongside them, making faces at Robbie as she did. Leon began trotting, following Hannah. Mervin took off after both of them, leaving me behind. Robbie looked over his shoulder at me for a moment, his curly hair a mop atop his head, his mouth stretched in a wide grin.
In our communities, children were valued but not catered to. Except, apparently, Robbie.
I increased my pace, just enough to catch up with Beatrice, who was jotting something down in her journal as she walked. After a moment she looked up, smiled at the sight of the group now galloping in front of us, and then turned toward me. “Having fun?”
I took a deep breath. “Jah . . .”
“I keep thinking about Mamm,” she said. “The test is over, right?”
I nodded.
“Does your phone work out here?”
I shook my head. I didn’t have service so I’d turned my phone off. “They won’t know anything yet anyway.”
Beatrice said, a little sharply, “I know that.” She opened her journal again and jotted something down.
She and I walked in silence, rounding the corner of the lake. To our right were the campsites where we’d stayed as children. The canoe Pete had been watching neared the dock we used to fish off with our Dat long ago. A man in a life vest climbed out, tied the canoe to the dock, and then reached down and lifted a girl out. The child was at least seven or eight—much too old to be carried.
Another man, Phillip, I was sure, walked from one of the campsites toward them. The two men spoke for a moment, and then Phillip reached down into the canoe, retrieved the paddles, and followed the man and girl. I guessed she was Jessie’s sister and that something was wrong with her.
We continued on. When we arrived at the edge of their camp, Jessie called out a welcome to us and invited us to sit around their fire. The little girl now sat in a wheelchair. Her head was small and tilted to the side. She had the same dark hair as Jessie. Her left hand was rigid and the rest of her seemed stiff too, except for her smile. Her whole face lit up at the sight of guests.