Learning to Let Go

by Cynthia P. O'Neill

  Grace just patted my arm. “Garrett had the police and his team gather evidence and then had a cleaning crew in there before I even stepped foot inside. Neither Garrett nor Jonathan would allow me back into the apartment without a member of security or Jonathan himself. Garrett offered up the option of a hotel, his penthouse, or one of his family’s homes to stay at, but Jonathan insisted I stay with him, even before Garrett mentioned it. He went with me to the apartment to pick up a few things, too. Both of them have our best interests at heart, really.” She sighed, looking dreamily into space. “The man makes me swoon, Laurel.”

  I motioned for Grace to hand me back the cup of water. I needed to cool off from all the heat she was describing between her and Jonathan. I managed to finish the rest of it without incident. I wanted to guzzle another five cups, but that probably wasn’t wise.

  “You do realize that Garrett’s crazy about you?” she went on to add. “He hasn’t left your side for a minute unless Jonathan or I were there watching you so he could take a shower and change clothes—and usually we have to force him to do that. He’s been the one bathing you and dressing you; he won’t allow anyone else to do those things for you. He even demanded the hospital provide him a reclining chair so he could take short naps next to you. He didn’t want to let go of your hand.”

  I was taken aback by her revelations. “Why would he go to all the trouble?”

  She shook her head and looked me straight in the eyes. “He won’t admit it, but I think he loves you.”

  I took a deep breath in at her words. Could he really love me?

  “He feels responsible for everything that happened,” she explained. “He thinks if he’d just listened to his instincts and followed you downstairs after your fight, that he could’ve taken Chase and had him arrested for stalking. As it is, there’s an APB out for Chase’s arrest for assault and battery and attempted rape. There are other charges pending an investigation and your willingness to talk to the cops and press charges.”

  Grace went on to detail how he managed to get in the building and even avoid the security cameras. “Garrett had all of his older security systems upgraded to the latest technology, which was released only a couple months ago. He’s afraid, since Chase designs some of these systems, that he’ll be able to break into any of your residence and work locations. All of his security teams now have orders to dispatch to any area where it “appears” a camera is down, thanks to Chase’s scrambling device.”

  I gasped for air, startled by all that had happened. I took a deep breath in and finally let it out, calming my nerves. “Did I imagine things or did Chase attempt to come at me in the hospital?”

  Grace looked shocked. “You heard that?” When I nodded, she continued. “He did come to the hospital, but quickly retreated when the hospital went into lockdown and he had no way to get to you. The police, hospital security, and part of Garrett’s team were hot on his tail. That’s why you’re here now.”

  “Where is here?” I wondered aloud.

  “Garrett didn’t feel comfortable leaving you in the ICU, especially since Chase had already managed to get into the hospital once. You were showing signs of waking and your condition had stabilized, so he asked his dad to call in some favors and had you moved to his beach house here in Daytona Beach Shores. He hired Dr. Givens and his nurse to help watch over you until you’re well enough to not need round the clock treatment.”

  I couldn’t believe he went to all the trouble and expense for me. Just when I thought I heard it all, there was more.

  “His house is huge and impenetrable, almost like a fortress,” Grace said, sounding impressed, “but with a spectacular view of the beach. We’re right on the water.”

  “Did Chase try to follow us over?”

  She rubbed my back with her hand. “Not a chance! Garrett had his team arrange a decoy.”

  The details of the decoy were mind-blowing, but I was happy to hear that Chase was now on his way to Ohio on a wild goose chase. I still couldn’t quite believe the lengths that Garrett had gone to in order to keep me safe.

  “Thompson has his buddies from the CIA and the FBI trying to intercept Chase,” Grace said. “For some reason, he keeps eluding them and doesn’t leave any paper trail—no credit cards or anything in his name.”

  “I doubt he’ll be easy to find,” I said sadly. “He has the technology to slip by security systems since he and his father designed most of them. His father has a nice bank account and access to people who can get falsified documentation, too. Unless they know what name he’s currently using or by some miracle manage to catch him on security camera, he’ll be hard to get.”

  The door creaked open and Garrett leaned in. “How do you know about falsified documentation?” He blushed a little at admitting to overhearing our conversation.

  Leave it to him to be listening in on things to make sure I was okay. “A few years back, prior to his first attack,” I began, “he tried to offer me a fake ID so I could get into night clubs and drink. I told him I wasn’t interested and he said if I changed my mind, his father knows people, for a small fee, of course.”

  He stuck his head out the door and called for Thompson, who was there in no time. “I need you to run a background check on Chase’s father and see who his business contacts are, including the under the table ones. Laurel thinks he’s getting falsified documents and credit cards to use. Maybe we can track down the supplier and find out his alias.”

  “I’ll get right on it, sir,” Thompson assured Garrett and then turned to me. “It’s good to see you awake, Ms. Laurel. I hope you’ll be feeling better in no time. We’ll get this guy, I promise.” He smiled warmly and then left to attend to business. It’s one in the morning—did the man ever sleep?

  Grace started yawning. “If it’s okay with you, cuz, I think I’m going to turn in for tonight. I’m right next door so if you need anything, okay? Just let me know.” She gave me another gentle hug before heading towards the door.

  Garrett stepped aside to let Grace out and then took her place on the bed. “Are you feeling up to some broth? I noticed you’ve eaten quite of bit of your ice and drank all your water.”

  I nodded. He called for Lynne and asked her to bring in some broth and anything else she might recommend. I looked at him in amazement, my cheeks warming.

  “What?” he finally asked.

  “Have you really not left my side since the attack?”

  He shook his head. “I failed you. I lost your trust and I feel responsible for what happened.” It was a shock to see how he was carrying himself—shoulders slumped and eyes staring toward the floor like he was defeated. I had never seen him look so weary. He’d always held a huge mask of control.

  I reached my hand up to his face and forced him to look at me. He leaned into my touch, placing his hand over mine and sighing in content. My heart was breaking seeing him like this; I had to reassure him. “My faith in you was lost because you didn’t trust me enough to know your secret. After all that’s happened, I think I understand why you pretend to be Mr. Andrews.” I paused and narrowed my eyes. “You are not responsible for what Chase did. He has some sick idea of us ending up together. I don’t think he’s ever heard the word ‘no’ in his life and he can’t deal with rejection. He’s nothing but a spoiled brat lucky enough to be born with a silver spoon in his mouth.”

  Garrett started to turn his head away from me, so I brought him back until our eyes met.

  “He would have come after me no matter where I was, what city I was in or who I hung around with,” I reminded him, my voice surprisingly even. “He’d try to get me any chance he had. He had already sent me several threatening notes warning me that he was coming for me before he actually did.”

  Oh boy, did I just stick my foot in my mouth.

  Garrett’s skin turned a bright red and his fists clenched by his side, the muscles in his jaw beginning to spasm. He was fighting the urge to react to what I’d admitted. His only words were measured
. “How many notes? Where are they? For how long?”

  I took a deep breath in, realizing this needed to come out at some point for the police. “They started a couple days after I walked out of your office at Waters Medical Industries. I only received three over the course of a few weeks. They’re in my top dresser drawer at the apartment.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice was pained, his face full of confusion, like he didn’t know if he wanted to be upset or if he lost his best friend.

  “Because we broke whatever we had and I didn’t figure you needed to know.”

  Garrett leaned his forehead against mine. “You’re a part of my life, Laurel, of course I need to know. Whether we’re together or not, I still want to protect you, like I do all my employees.”

  I let my hand drop at his remark and pulled back from him. I think he realized what he’d said as he quickly corrected himself.

  “Know that you are not just an employee to me,” he rushed on. “If I’m being truthful, you never have been. Something about you calls to me on a level that I just don’t know how to put into words. I’m dealing with emotions I’ve never felt before and to be honest, I’m not quite sure how to tell you what I’m feeling.” He leaned forward, cupping my face with his hands and brushing his lips gently across mine.

  The slightest contact brought goosebumps to my skin. He pulled back to gauge my reaction before intensifying the kiss and nipping at my bottom lip, where his tongue found entrance into my mouth. I felt a rush of heat spread through my body. He elicited such passion within me. I still craved him; all of him.

  “God, I’ve missed you, baby.” His voice was heavy, his breathing altered and his eyes hooded with desire as he perused my mouth.

  A throat cleared from the doorway and we quickly pulled away from one another. “I’m sorry to intrude a private moment,” a female voice said, “but you should try to eat a little, Laurel. It will help you regain some of your strength.”

  Lynne stepped forward with a breakfast tray in hand and placed it over my lap in bed. She helped me raise the bed to a comfortable upright position to eat.

  “I’ll check back on you in about thirty minutes, before retiring for the night. Did you want me to get your pallet ready to sleep on, Mr. Waters?”

  I looked at him in confusion. “Where exactly have you been sleeping?”

  “Sometimes I fall asleep in the chair holding your hand. Other times I’ve used a blow up mattress and some sheets to sleep next to you on the floor.” He looked me in the eyes. “I was serious about never letting you out of my sight again.”

  I didn’t know whether to be thankful for the devotion or to be annoyed over the stalking tendencies. He looked exhausted, so he couldn’t have slept well under the circumstances.

  “Where’s your bedroom?” I asked, curiosity getting the best of me.

  He pointed to the wall in front of us. “Just there.”

  “You need your sleep,” I insisted. “I’m starting to tire and will probably sleep through the rest of the night. Why don’t you sleep in your own bed tonight? You look like you haven’t slept much in weeks.”

  He shook his head. “I can’t sleep without you near me,” he claimed adamantly.

  “Then I guess I won’t get any rest and I won’t eat tonight,” I stated matter-of-factly, crossing my arms and pushing the tray away from me. I knew I was being childish, but I couldn’t bear the idea of him making himself miserable. I hated to admit it, but I still cared deeply for him. That kiss proved my heart still belonged to Garrett.

  His shoulders slumped in defeat. “Fine, but you have to promise me that you’ll call if you need anything. Your cell will be beside you and mine will remain on.”

  “Fair enough,” I replied, looking up to find that Lynne had already left the room. The smell of the broth and the idea of eating my favorite childhood treat, Jell-O, called to me. I tried a few sips of the broth and found it amazing. It reminded me of the homemade chicken stock my mother used to make from scratch. I saw a bit of a smile form on the edges of Garrett’s mouth.

  “It’s good to see you eat,” he said happily. “You lost so much weight while you were unconscious.”

  I didn’t respond, instead focusing on finishing the broth and diving into the Jell-O. “Mmm…this tastes amazing. How did you know mixed fruit was my favorite?”

  “You have Grace to thank for that. She gave Deidre a list of things you love to eat when you’re feeling under the weather. We’ve stocked the pantry to your heart’s desire. Whatever you want, you shall have, and if we don’t have it, we’ll get it.”

  I’d never seen Garrett so willing to please; it was almost overwhelming. “I don’t want any special treatment,” I argued.

  “But you’re special to me. I want to take care of you…”

  It looked like he wanted to say more, but stopped himself. I could still see he was fighting with revealing too much of himself. There was a mystery surrounding him and I wanted to know more. I wanted to know everything about the man I loved. I was still quite emotional and didn’t know how to respond to Garrett, so I just focused on finishing my meal and sipping at the can of ginger ale I’d been given. When I was done, he took the tray from my lap and sat it by the door.

  “Did you need to use the bathroom before I go to bed?”

  My eyes were barely staying open, but I nodded in response. Before I could move, he had me in his arms and was carrying me into the bathroom.

  “I’ll move to the door, where you have a little more privacy,” he said quietly. “After you’re done, we need Lynne to doctor your more feminine wounds.”

  I just grunted in response, only half-hearing what he said, and let him know when I was done. Damn, it stung to pee.

  Before I knew it, I was in bed and could feel Lynne’s fingers lightly applying more medication to my most private areas. My mind wanted to object, but I was too tired to argue.

  “I’ll just take the tray and check on you in a few hours,” she said in her soft voice. “Feel free to call for me if you need anything, Laurel.”

  I only nodded in response, trying to give a half-smile. My eyelids were starting to droop and I felt softness of Garrett’s lips brushed lightly over mine.

  “Sleep tight, my love. Your phone is right under your pillow. Call me if you need me.”

  I could only manage a small groan of, “Goodnight,” before drifting into a deep slumber.

  I’d spent every second of every day for the past five days with Laurel, caring for her every need. Being forced to sleep in another room because of her concern for me was worse than sleeping on the floor. I needed her near me. I found myself getting up every twenty minutes for the past three hours to check and make sure she was sleeping soundly.

  I stared aimlessly at the ceiling, going through the various scenarios of how her emotions could play out, wondering how she’d deal with what happened to her. Grace had managed to catch me leaving Laurel’s room and enlightened me that Laurel was determined to move forward, wanting to put this behind her and get on with her life. I knew her best defense was usually to ignore things and move on, hoping it didn’t happen again, but it nearly did! She came so close to being raped again by this monster. How could I get her to see that she was still in danger and, more importantly, how did I convince her to move in with me so I could watch over her?

  The clock was heading towards 5:00 a.m. and my eyelids were finally starting to feel heavy. I was just about to succumb to sleep when I heard her scream in terror. I bolted through the door first and saw her upright in bed screaming, “Leave me the hell alone, Chase! Get off me! You’re hurting me! Stop NOW!”

  Her arms were in a protective stance around her, swinging fiercely through the air, trying to connect with her imagined target, but her eyes were still closed. Oh, God, she’s having a nightmare of the attack! I’d hoped her mind would avoid this. I knew what it was like to relive an event that tore at your heart and soul night after night, eating up every part of your
mind until you felt like you were going to implode. She may not want my help, but she was going to get it! I couldn’t let her suffer through what I did as a child.

  I took a tentative step towards her, speaking in soft tones. “Laurel, you need to open your eyes for me,” I whispered. “You’re having a bad dream and need to wake up.”

  Her body stilled at the sound of my voice and she started to cry, so I rushed toward her, pulling her tight against me, holding her while her tears flowed.

  Several sets of footsteps came rushing through the door all at once. Everyone was asking, “How is she? Did she have a nightmare? Is she going to be okay?”

  I felt her flinch against me at the onslaught of questioning. I leaned in toward her ear and whispered, “You want everyone to leave?”

  She nodded slightly.

  “Do you want me to go, too?”

  My heart was ready to burst with joy when she barely uttered, “No.”

  I held her tight with one arm as the other shooed everyone out the door.

  When the door closed, she finally looked up at me. The amount of fear in her eyes told me we had a long battle ahead of us. “Do you want to talk about it?” I asked.

  Her eyes bugged out and she shook her head. She began to open her mouth, stuttering the words, “I-I… I can’t…not yet.”

  “Would you like to come to my room? I can prop you up on some pillows and can keep you as close as you’d like. There’s room for both of us in my bed, and I promise I’ll do nothing more than hold you while you sleep.”

  I could tell she was thinking about it and sighed deeply as she answered, “Okay.”

  If her dreams were anything like the ones I had after my parents died, I knew she would wake often during the night and need someone she could reach out to. I pulled her covers back and carried her to my room. Her eyes went wide, taking in the sight of my king-sized walnut bed, decorated with the same burgundy patterns as her bed in Waters Towers.