Let Me Go (Owned Book 2)

by Gebhard, Mary Catherine

  “I’ll work. I’ll actually work if you let Eli go, no strings.” I added quickly, “No sex.”

  Zero barked a laugh. “I don’t trade sex. Do you understand what you’ll be doing?”

  “Yes,” I said hastily. I was so close to securing this deal.

  “What will you be doing little Grace?” Zero’s beady eyes narrowed.

  “Drugs,” I said, trying to sound calm. “I’ll be selling drugs.”

  Zero snapped his fingers, apparently thinking. “Show me you can sell something. I’ll give you a batch of my stash and if you can sell it, I’ll give you your deal.” I felt simultaneous relief and fear. As one weight lifted from my shoulders, another fell and left me prostrate. I didn’t know how I was going to pull this off, but at least Eli was free.

  “One last thing,” I added, before Zero went to get the drugs. He eyed me, curious but irritated. “Eli can never know.”

  Zero laughed. “Like I give a shit.”

  I was merely going through the motions. Customers put their orders in, I smiled, they smiled; inside I was like a melting ice cube, numb and slowly fading.

  “You okay?” Marci came up behind me, placing an arm on my upper back. It was a kind gesture and once again I was thankful for the job I had, thankful that I had someone like Marci as my manager.

  “I’m okay,” I lied, smiling wanly at Marci. “Just didn’t get much sleep last night.”

  “I was serious when I said you could take the whole week off.”

  “Thanks, but I’m really okay.” I tried to smile big at Marci, but failed, my smile looking more like a grimace. Furrowing her brows, Marci patted my shoulder and walked into the back office, but not before telling me that I was using the wrong lid colors for orders: decaf was the orange lid and caffeinated was the blue lid. I sighed and thanked her for informing me of my mistake.

  I wondered how many customers had gotten the wrong order.

  “I can help the next customer,” I said, my voice emotionless despite trying to forcefully shove pep into it as if I could create a semblance of happiness. I didn’t even register the faces. They were all blobs ordering coffee to me. “I’ll have a decaf non frap caramel,” one blob would say. “Right on it,” I’d reply to the blob, forcing another smile to my face.

  Could the blobs see me if I couldn’t see them?

  “You haven’t called.”

  “Would you like tall, grande, or venti?” I asked the blob.

  “Gracie.”

  I blinked quickly, my eyes like the shutter of a camera trying to focus. The blob in front of me transformed into Eli. Was I dreaming?

  “Eli?” I whispered.

  “Gracie,” he responded. I jumped back, feeling naked and exposed. Talking to him over the phone was so very different than having him in the flesh where I worked.

  I wasn’t ready for this. I wasn’t ready for him to come and find me. I’d severed the ties. I’d prepared myself for a life without him and now he was showing up all the time, each time like an electric shock to my system.

  “I—” Stuttering, I tried to formulate a response.

  “You can’t just call all hot and bothered and then go radio silent,” Eli leaned in, whispering. “You can’t do that to me, Bug.”

  “Don’t call me that.” I wasn’t “Bug” any more. “Bug” had died and her body was buried in Georgia. As I opened my mouth to send Eli away, to tell him to stop calling me Bug, anything to get under control, the customer behind Eli spoke.

  “Excuse me, Grace?”

  “I’m sorry, sir, I’ll be right—” I cut off, once again dumbfounded as I looked to see the customer behind Eli. Who was it? None other than my brother. Vic was standing in the middle of the store, hands in his pockets, almost looking contrite, but I knew better than to ever think my brother could be contrite.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked, my voice laced with suspicion.

  “Grace?” Eli tried to get my attention back. I shook my head, facing Eli again. This was too much. Vic and Eli? Why had Vic chosen now of all times to show up? I’d been trying to talk to him since I’d come to Santa Barbara but he showed up now? When it rains, it pours.

  “Eli,” I said, my attention on him. “I’ll talk to you later.”

  “You can’t get rid of me so easily, Bug,” Eli growled. I frowned, noting how he still called me Bug, but nodded at his words. Eli spun and walked out the door. I turned my attention back to Vic.

  “Grace?” Another voice called for me.

  Oh my, what now?

  I turned to see Marci approaching me, her look less than pleasant. I prepared myself for a tongue-lashing.

  “Grace what’s going on out here?”

  “I…” How did I explain that the two most important men in my life had collided right in her coffee shop? Marci stopped a few inches from me, her gaze traveling to Vic. Vic was not one to kow-tow and gazed coldly at Marci. Not really helping me much, Vic.

  “I think you should take the rest of the day off, Grace,” Marci said cooly, her gaze still on Vic.

  “What?” I exclaimed. “I’m only just started and the evening rush is about to hit.”

  “I’ll call Daniella and she can cover for you.”

  “But Daniella already worked this morning…” I muttered, voice trailing off. The way Marci looked at me made it clear that the matter was not open for negotiation. I untied my apron, feeling defeated. Making my way out from behind the counter, I faced Vic. “What do you want?”

  “I was going to suggest coffee…” Vic put his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “I see now that’s a bad idea. Why don’t we go for a walk?”

  I frowned, regarding him with suspicion. Was this the olive branch I’d so desperately wanted? Why now? “I guess I’ve been here for a few months and still haven’t really seen the beach.”

  Vic opened the door for me and I followed him out to the setting sun.

  “So,” Vic said.

  “So,” I repeated. We’d walked nearly a mile on the beach, the sunset our backdrop, and those were the first words we’d spoken. Awkward was an understatement. I continued, “Sunset’s nice.”

  “Yep.”

  I resisted the urge to scoff at his laconic reply. He was the one who had invited me, yet he offered no form of conversation. I plowed on, even though Vic wasn’t giving me anything.

  “Do you like sunsets?” It was like pulling teeth with the guy. I was way past thinkin’ we were going to have that relationship I’d always dreamed of; now I was just hopin’ we could have a conversation. “I like sunsets. They happen every night so people get used to their beauty, but…” I trailed off; Vic was bent at an odd angle, as if reaching for something. “What are you doing?”

  “There’s a sand dollar here, thought you might like to see it.” I shifted my perspective to see Vic trying to reach his hand into a small crag of rocks. “I can’t get it. My hand is too big. You can probably reach it though.”

  “I’m sorry, I can’t really bend that way.”

  Vic’s slowly stood up straight and narrowed his eyes. His gaze clocked me, as if not understanding. I had a hard time believing that.

  “What?” I continued, my voice a little harsher than I’d intended. “You grew up with Daddy. You tellin’ me he never played a little too rough with you and yanked your arm a bit?”

  Vic scoffed. “Playing? That’s a nice way to put it.”

  I’d nearly had it with Vic. What had he been after when he’d invited me out on this walk? I stopped walking, planting my feet in the damp sand. “You want me to say that my daddy beat me so hard I can’t move my arm any more? What good does that accomplish?”

  Vic chewed the inside of his cheek, refusing to meet my eyes any more. “It’s better than walking down a beach with your estranged brother and talking about the color of the sky for two fucking hours.”

  “I’ve been trying to get to know you since I got here,” I spat. “It’s why I came! This is the first time you’ve tak
en an interest and all you care about is Daddy's anger. Forgive me if I don’t dwell on the less than pretty aspects of my past.”

  Vic snapped his head to mine. “You ran away. You didn’t come here for me.”

  His response stunned me to the spot. How dare he? He was the only reason I’d come to California. I may have built a life after realizing he didn’t want nothing to do with me, but I’d come for him. I’d traveled across the country to get to know him. After a few deep breaths, I ran after him, my feet stumbling in the damp, night-chilled sand.

  It took me a few moments to reach him, as he’d climbed up some rocks. I grappled with the slick, sea-wet stone but eventually made it to him. Ignoring the spectacular view from the new vantage point, I rounded on Vic.

  “How dare you?” I accused his back. I didn’t care if he turned around I could have the entire conversation with his back. It was still more than he’d shown me the entire time I’d been there. “After everything I’ve done?”

  “We might not share DNA but our past is thicker than blood.” Vic’s voice was level. There was no accusation or anger in his tone; it was as if he was telling me history or teaching me math. I, on the other hand, was furious. How dare he assume so much about me? I was about to say so when he continued. “You’re pretending you’re moving on but your memories have got you in a vice grip so tight you’re struggling to breathe.”

  I caught my breath just as a wave crashed over the rocks, causing us both to slip and fall. Vic caught me before we got sucked away with the current, but we were both soaked and I was hurting from the fall. If Vic was also hurting, he didn’t show it. He didn’t show anything.

  “I guess we should go home,” I mumbled, feeling like an alley cat stuck out in the rain.

  “I’ll drive you,” Vic said.

  “My house isn’t that far.” Wet or dry, I didn’t want to spend another darn minute with my brother.

  “It’s dark and we’re wet. I’m driving,” Vic said, his tone conveying that he wouldn’t take no for an answer. I didn’t know how Lennox put up with him. We’d only been together a few hours and I was ready to toss him back into the ocean.

  “Fine,” I responded through gritted teeth. We made our way back up the beach and Vic opened the door for me. I glared at him, not wanting his chivalry. Vic made a sound halfway between a growl and scoff and left the door open, going to his side. I slid in reluctantly and barely had time to close the door before he started the car.

  The ride was silent and bitter. Even though it was dark and I couldn’t see a thing, I kept my eyes out the window. Ignoring my brother, I watched the road reflectors light up and disappear, wondering if I would ever have any semblance of family.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “What?” I craned my head to look at Vic, not sure I’d heard him correctly.

  “I’m sorry, Grace. Today I wanted to get to know you, to see if we should be a family or some shit. I messed up.” Vic stared out at the now dark road. It was like he wasn’t even talking to me, his gaze was so transfixed on the windshield. He turned on to my street, and I briefly wondered how he knew where I lived. I buried that thought, instead deciding to take the olive branch he’d given me. I wanted to know Vic too. I opened my mouth to accept his apology, but was cut off.

  “Maybe it’s not meant to be,” Vic said, pulling to a stop in front of my apartment. “I never had much family until Lennox. It was a nice thought, but maybe you and I are just too different. Too much time has passed.” He looked at me, no animosity or contempt on his features. What did he expect me to say to that? He was sorry but he didn’t want to try?

  Thanks a lot.

  I got out of the car without another word, feeling like dirt.

  As I shut the door to Vic’s car, I was in a sour mood. First Eli and now Vic; all in all, the day had been a bust. I was looking forward to Vera. Her brand of crazy was just what I needed.

  I stepped up to my apartment keys in hand, but the door was already slightly open. I pushed it all the way, closing my eyes. I’d learned my lesson the first time with Vera. If a door is open it doesn’t mean come in, it means she’s getting naked for someone online.

  “Hello?” I said, hand over my eyes. “Can you put a robe on so I can see where I’m going? I don’t know our apartment that well. Also, we need a rule for this, like, you need to inform me when you’re going to use the entire apartment for your job or at least give me a cut. Does that make me a pimp?”

  When there was no response I gingerly lowered my hand, so I could see where I was going. The living room and kitchen were empty. No sign of Vera.

  “Vera?” I said, slightly above normal volume. “Vera?” I walked into the kitchen and grabbed an apple, hoping she wasn’t so busy that she couldn’t hear me. I wasn’t sure what that would entail. Someday I would need to sit down with Vera and have her teach me about it.

  Maybe that was weird.

  I took a bite of my apple and pushed her door open a bit. “Vera? I’m coming in, please be semi-decent—Oh my god!” I dropped my apple to the ground. The sound made a thud on the carpet. Distantly I wondered if it would stain, but then that didn’t matter. There were plenty of stains. The first I noticed was blood. There was red blood on her sheets and some splattered on the carpet.

  Vera wasn’t anywhere to be seen. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing.

  Did that mean she was alive?

  Her desk chair was broken and so was her lamp. Everything was such a mess. Vera was a messy person, but this…this was a struggle.

  I felt like I’d been staring at the scene for an hour, but it was only a minute tops. Reality came crashing back like a rockslide. I ran out to the living room and reached into my purse for my cell phone. I dialed 911 and explained the situation in a whirl, not really comprehending what they were asking.

  “Ma’am, can you tell me where you are?” the 911 operator asked.

  “I’m at my apartment. My roommate isn’t here. She… It looks like she was taken.” I glanced at Vera’s ajar door. I could see inside, and the scene sucked me back. Just the little snippet of blood and struggle within our nice apartment. Just that little bit…

  “Ma’am, can you tell me the address?” The operator tore me away from the scene and I shook my head, answering her question. “I’ve dispatched officers to your address. They will be there within minutes. Ma’am are you in a safe location?”

  “I… Yes… I mean, I’m at my apartment. I don’t think anyone is here.” I dropped the phone a little, looking around the place. Could someone still be there? I hadn’t even considered that possibility.

  “How is this happening?” I whispered.

  “Ma’am are you okay?”

  There was a knock at the door followed by “Police.” So much was happening I could barely focus on any of it.

  “I—” I tried to respond to the dispatcher but the police knocked again, more forcefully. My head swiveled back and forth, from them, to Vera’s room, to the phone in my hands. Police burst through the open front door before I could make any kind of decision.

  “Is that the dispatcher?” a kind-yet-forceful-looking officer asked me while men in black uniforms swarmed the apartment. I could only nod and hand him the phone. He said something to the dispatcher, hung up, and handed me the phone.

  The officer sat me down on the couch. Even though it was my apartment, my couch, my plant that I bought with Vera on the table, it didn’t feel like mine. I felt like a bystander.

  “You have a roommate?”

  “What?” I was pulled out of my haze by the officer. He had a notepad and was watching me sternly. “Yes, her name was—is Vera.”

  He wrote that down. “Do you have another?”

  “Oh, yes sir, his name is Chad. He’s the landlord.” Speaking of Chad, where was he? How much school did that boy have?

  “Do you know where he is?”

  “School, I think. He’s in some kind of graduate program, sir.” My eyes trailed over to Ver
a’s room. Officers and the like were picking it apart. I watched as a woman picked up her panties and put them in a clear plastic bag. I frowned. Why did they need those?

  “Do you have his number?” I shook my head at his question. I should have had Chad’s number, I guessed, but I rarely saw him. Vera and I paid him rent by leaving cash on the counter.

  The officer tapped his notepad. “How did you meet Chad?”

  “The internet,” I said, returning my gaze to the officer. “Wait, you don’t think he did this, do you?”

  “Just covering my bases.” The officer smiled translucently.

  “He’s barely here,” I explained. “He didn’t do this. You need to find who did this.”

  “Did you know this apartment is owned by the university?” the officer asked.

  “What?” I exclaimed. “Chad owns this apartment.”

  The officer shook his head slowly. “No, I’m afraid this entire complex is student housing.” I frowned so hard I could feel a headache forming. I wasn’t sure what to say to the officer, so I kept my mouth shut. Probably best, anyway, because it was clear from the way he put down his notepad and looked at me with pity that I wasn’t giving him anything useful.

  “Do you know Chad’s last name?” I didn’t want to answer the officer. The entire line of questioning was revealing me to be an idiot. I didn’t know Chad’s last name. I didn’t know the apartment was owned by the school. I’d moved in with a stranger I’d met at a coffee house and had decided to live with someone I’d met on the internet.

  I wished I could say if I’d just opened my eyes I would have seen how obvious it was. The truth was I wasn’t prepared for life. Maybe I never would be. My perceptions were shaped in a shadowed house and defined by a man who knew little about truth.

  I was dangerously naive.

  When I didn’t respond, the officer told me he was going to give the information to his superiors and see what turned up. I mumbled my appreciation and shrunk back into my couch—no, not my couch. A school’s couch.