Let Me Go (Owned Book 2)

by Gebhard, Mary Catherine

  After Vic and Lennox left with the boxes, I went back into the house to find Eli. I tiptoed around (a habit from living there) and found him sitting on the floor in the empty living room.

  “What’cha doin’?” I asked. Eli patted a spot next to him. I ambled over and cozied up next to his side. All these years later and next to him was still my favorite spot to be.

  “You know, Bug, this is my first time inside this house.” I quirked my chin to get a better look at him. He sounded sad. “When I think about all the years you spent here…”

  “Hush.” I placed my finger over his lips. “It’s over now. Look, we boxed everything up!” Even as I tried to cheer him up, I felt the sadness too. It was lingering, like a wicked nostalgia. Through our sadness, Eli cupped my chin and brought my lips to his. There, in the broken remains of my past, we kissed.

  “Can we go to our sugar maple tree?” I asked quietly. It was the only thing left in that town that I still cared about.

  A strange look crossed Eli’s features. “It’s not what it used to be, Bug.”

  “What do you mean? It’s a tree. Trees don’t change.” I hopped up, pulling at Eli’s arms until he stood up.

  In the daylight, without the rain, the town’s drastic change was much more noticeable. Where children had played and people had walked, there was nothing. No one. It was completely empty.

  “What happened here?” I asked, skipping the rotten step on my porch. “It’s like everyone left.”

  “They did,” Eli explained. “When Zero left, so did the people. To find new drugs. And then the businesses died. The only people here now are those living off social security, and even they are in the process of moving.”

  Wow. Our town was dead and nearly buried.

  As we walked down the dilapidated street, I wondered if anyone had lived in Mrs. Nelson’s house since she’d passed. Probably not. Mrs. Nelson had always kept good care of her house, but she didn’t have children, and those were the only people who would want a house in this kind of town.

  Now that I’d returned, the town seemed so much smaller. When I’d lived there it had felt monstrous, like something I could never conquer, yet we were already turning into Mrs. Nelson’s. It had seemed like such a far trek when I was growing up. In reality, it was only a few minutes’ walk.

  “Bug, wait!” Eli called after me as I ran to Mrs. Nelson’s back yard. It had always been the one place free from hate, free from corruption, like our own personal Eden. I couldn’t help the smile that formed on my lips as I crossed the threshold into the backyard.

  Just as quickly as the smile formed, it fell.

  In place of our towering and what I had believed to be eternal tree was a stump. I stared at the empty space, expecting something. I didn’t know what, but I expected something. I couldn’t believe it was just gone. That tree was more than just a plant. It was where we grew up, where we fell in love, where we became ourselves. And now it was gone.

  I couldn’t stand it.

  I fell to my knees.

  “Bug?” Eli caught up to me and held my arm. He leaned down to meet my eyes, his voice concerned as he saw my reaction.

  “It’s gone!” My voice was barely recognizable through the tears.

  “It was dead, Bug.” Eli pulled me closer. “Hit by lightning and deadened. They had to cut it down.”

  I shook him off and ran to the stump. Just a mighty circle where the tree had been. “You knew?” I touched the wood, smooth yet grainy.

  “I only found out yesterday. The lawyer was telling me about a big lightning storm the town had a few months ago while you were talking with Lennox. He told me they had to cut this big, beautiful tree down and that it was a shame because it was the only life left in the town. That’s how I found out about the town drying up, too. I didn’t know how to tell you…” Eli trailed off, looking beyond the tree at what was now empty space.

  I traced my fingers over the delicate rings. “Don’t you feel it?”

  “Of course I feel it! I feel it here.” Eli hit his chest so hard that I reached out to soothe him, but he backed away. “But it’s better this way. Don’t you see, Gracie? This town was rotten. It would have taken our tree with it had it not been for that lightning storm. That storm was mercy.”

  I shook my head. “What now?”

  Eli held his hand out to mine. “Now we go home.” Intertwining my fingers with his, we walked away from the stump. It took every ounce of willpower I had to not look back.

  The flight home was uneventful. The previous day caught up with me and I spent the entire flight asleep on Eli’s shoulder, only to wake when we were making our descent. Though we were back in Santa Barbara by the afternoon, I felt jet lagged. My heart was sore, my body achy, and my brain foggy. As Lennox, Vic, and Eli stumbled out of the plane, I got the feeling that they too felt the heavy burden of the previous day.

  Vic drove us home and I kissed Eli, promising to stop by after I took a shower. Complete silence engulfed us the rest of the way home, creating a blank space for my mind to run free. Only the faint sounds of the beach wafted through the car as we drove the sunny streets of Santa Barbara. I could hear laughter and the occasional seagull’s cry. It made my heart ache.

  The melody playing outside the car was Vera’s song. A song of happiness and eternity, it was a song that never stopped, just like Vera. Once upon a time Vera had been my only person. She’d been the one to teach me to appreciate the world outside and with her I had dived headfirst into life’s ocean—literally.

  Now she was gone.

  I may as well have buried her back in Georgia.

  Shifting in my seat, I pulled my seatbelt aside so I could lean forward toward Vic and Lenny. I stuck my head between their seats and said, “I can’t stop thinking about Vera.”

  “Not right now,” Vic replied, barely glancing at me.

  “Then when?” I pushed my seatbelt farther aside and inched my head up to get a better look at him. “When is a good time to talk about my missing friend that you’re supposedly looking for?”

  “We’re almost back. Wait until we get home.”

  I frowned, disappointment seeping deep into my bones, but I leaned back into my seat. I glanced at Lennox, but her mind was elsewhere. The way her eyes were glossed and detached, I wouldn’t have been surprised if she hadn’t heard a thing I’d said.

  We couldn’t pull into our apartment complex fast enough. I jumped out of the car, grabbed my bag, and dashed up to Vic and Lennox’s apartment. I waited a good ten minutes, since they did not feel the same sense of urgency that I did, but the minute I saw them walking down the hall I was on them.

  “So?” I demanded.

  Vic put his key in the lock, regarding me with bored interest. “So?”

  “So, what are we doing about Vera?” I followed them into the apartment, feet practically tapping with impatience. Lennox walked up the stairs without another word and I faintly heard a door close. I couldn’t think about what was bothering her, because all I could fit in my skull was Vera.

  It was just me and Vic now. Vic rested his elbows on the kitchen counter and turned to me. “We aren’t doing anything. I have a man on it. He’s looking into her.”

  “That’s it?” I demanded. “You expect me to sit back and do nothing?”

  Vic ran a hand through his long black hair. Frustration flashed across his features like lightning in the desert. “I don’t expect you to do anything, because you can’t do anything. You aren’t properly trained.”

  “And you are?” I spat. Vic walked around the kitchen island and pulled up a chair. It was almost like we were having a regular family chat. Almost, except I was standing with my arms crossed, glaring down at him and Vic was staring straight ahead, not even giving me the pretense of his attention.

  “I’ve been trained in reconnaissance, subterfuge, and deep level infiltration, but Charlie…” Vic trailed off, as if recalling some distant memory. I waited patiently for him to continue. As the min
utes passed, I began to wonder if he ever would. Then, as if he’d never stopped talking, Vic said, “Charlie is the boogieman. He and a few other men I worked with are the things you have nightmares about. The ones you turn the lights on for, but are glad to have in your dark.”

  “Why are you telling me this?” I asked, voice getting higher. “To scare me?”

  “So you know without a doubt Vera will be rescued.” Vic pinned me with his black eyes. “If anyone can save her, it’s Charlie. But you need to remember that Vera once worked with Zero. There’s a chance that she wants to be there.” Vic stood up and opened the front door, signaling the end of our conversation.

  I had about a million more questions for him, the first of which being how he knew a man like Charlie. What kind of work did Vic actually do? According to him he basically had James Bond on her case and I needed to let go, but how was I supposed to move on? I knew in my bones that Vera was not in a good place. Despite what she’d said on the phone, she obviously wasn’t doing well. She’d been taken, probably by Zero.

  The coincidence of that still had me reeling. It was hard to wrap my head around the fact that the Zero she was talkin’ about was the Zero that had ripped my town apart and nearly destroyed me and Eli.

  Zero was a bad guy, there was no doubt about that. I didn’t care what Vic thought. Vera wasn’t working with Zero and if Zero really had Vera then she needed help. As I walked to the door that Vic so graciously opened for me, I felt like demanding we go to the police, just so I could say I was doing something—something other than waiting around for a miracle.

  Or the boogieman.

  I almost told him that, too, but then I remembered Vera. Once upon a time Vera had told me never to look a gift horse in the mouth. If Charlie really was Vera’s only hope, maybe I had to just accept it. Reluctantly I stepped out into the hallway.

  “I was so nervous when I first came here, Vic,” I said, turning to him before he shut the door. “I was so nervous to meet my big brother. I thought, ‘What if he doesn’t like me?’ But now, after meeting you, all I can say is that I’m disappointed.” Vic pulled me back inside, slamming the door shut. The sound of the door meeting its hinges was loud, like the echo of a gunshot. I nearly jumped, but forced myself to remain calm. Vic moved to stand in front of the door, arms folded.

  “That’s not fair,” Vic said.

  “How so? It’s clear that you don’t want anything to do with me. Despite what Lennox says about you, about your intentions, all I see is a mean person doing mean things. Maybe you’re going to help me find Vera, or maybe you’re a liar. Just like Daddy.”

  Pain rippled across Vic’s features and, for a moment, I felt terrible. When Vic spoke, his voice was so low I barely heard him. “Grace, when I see you I’m reminded of our past.”

  “Well sorry my presence is so godawful,” I scoffed.

  “No, fuck.” Vic ran his hands through his hair, frustration evident on his features. “What I mean, is, I remember what that miserable old fuck did to me, and then I think about you. I thought you were safe, because when I left he treated you like gold. So to think that what happened to me could have happened to you…”

  “Vic, it’s fine.” I waved a hand. “I get it. I’m moving on, we don’t need to talk about this.”

  “No, we do. I’m sorry, Grace. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. I’m sorry I left. I’m sorry I wasn’t a better brother. I should have checked up on you.” Vic’s apology shocked me. I’d grown used to his cold, callous air, but the way he spoke and the way his eyes shined, I saw true emotion.

  “Thanks,” I muttered, feeling exposed.

  “I’ve been trying to be better,” Vic grumbled. “I guess I’m fucking that up too. When you showed up I didn’t know what to do. I’ve been trying. I gave you the apartment. I thought I was helping when I told Eli to fuck off. I went to Mama’s funeral. I’m going to get Vera back. I’m trying, Grace.”

  “I don’t want much,” I said, astonished by how quiet my voice had become. “I don’t want any of that. I just want my big brother.”

  Vic smiled brokenly. “Well, I don’t have much practice on that front. Maybe you could cut me some slack.” Silence hung in the air. Vic and I had erected a tentative truce. I wasn’t sure what exactly that meant for us. For all I knew, our relationship would dissolve in the morning, but I was hopeful. I realized I’d romanticized Vic. All those years stuck in Georgia, I’d imagined Vic as this strong hero who had escaped and gotten free and would help me become strong and invincible. In reality, Vic was just as broken as me.

  We didn’t hug or anything. Vic stepped aside to let me leave and we exchanged lukewarm smiles. It was a start. I took one last look at the black-painted door, sighed, and walked downstairs.

  I dialed Eli as I entered my apartment, unable to wait until I’d showered to talk to him. He picked up on the first ring.

  “What’s wrong, Bug?” Lying down on my bed so that I could clearly see the paint chips on the ceiling, I asked Eli how he knew something was wrong.

  “Call it a sixth sense,” Eli responded.

  “I’m worried that Vera might never come back,” I confessed.

  “Why? Isn’t Vic helping you find her?”

  “Yeah, but…” I trailed off, not sure how to answer.

  “Do you think Vic is lying to you?” I ruminated on Eli’s question. Did I think Vic was lying to me? Honestly, no. After our conversation, I didn’t think Vic was lying to me. Sure, he had problems from here to the moon, but he wasn’t lying to me. That wasn’t the problem though. Well, it wasn’t the whole problem. Mostly I felt helpless. I was upset that I couldn’t do anything. Vic was doing his thing, because of Vera’s phone call the police had given up, and all I could do was wait. Meanwhile I had this pressing question: “What if she’s gone forever?”

  “Don’t think like that, Bug,” Eli scolded lightly.

  “But what if she is?” I pressed. “You never got to meet her and she was so wonderful. And now she’s just gone? How is that fair?”

  Eli sighed into the phone. “It’s not fair, Gracie. You need to remember that there’s no scorecard in life because there’s no one keepin’ score but us.”

  A few beats passed before I said, “I miss you, Eli. I know I just saw you an hour ago but…I miss you.”

  “I miss you too, Bug. I’ll come and pick you up. You can shower at my place or not at all. I don’t care.”

  After Eli picked me up, I fell right asleep. I hadn’t realized how utterly exhausted I was until I felt safe with him. Once with Eli, I was able to let my guard down and then sleep stole me away. I fell onto his bed and then it was lights out.

  Now, I felt a hand slide up and down my back, the smooth ministrations pulling me out of slumber. Still tired, I grunted and tried to move away from the thing dragging me away from my nice, pillowy sleep. My bones creaked and my muscles ached, but my brain was able to function.

  Unwilling to wake, I groaned, “What time is it?” I glanced at the clock on the wall: four in the morning. Why had Eli woken me so early?

  “Time to get up,” Eli said against my back. Leaning forward, he placed soft kisses up and down my neck and shoulder.

  “I don’t wanna,” I groaned. Rolling over, I planted my face firmly into the pillow. I was only wearing his shirt and no underwear. It was a blue V-neck that made his skin glow, and I loved wearing it now. Eli used that to his advantage, though. Ignoring me, he lifted up the shirt and planted a trail of kisses down my body until he reached the small of my back. I couldn’t help it; he was waking me up in the most delicious of ways.

  “I have something to show you…” Eli murmured, sucking on the skin above my bum.

  “It’s four in the morning,” I whined, though it came out as a moan. “What can you possibly show me at four in the morning?” I turned my head to the side to get a better look at Eli. He was wide awake, and I mean really awake. On his knees, I could see his length proudly at attention. I bit my lip, tryin
g to stay focused.

  Eli grabbed me, pulling me out of the comfort of the pillows and into his chest. My mouth opened in protest but fell slack when he stretched the neck of his shirt out, exposing me. I melted like butter into his chest as he palmed my now exposed breasts.

  “You’re fuckin’ gorgeous, Bug,” Eli hissed into my ear as he pinched a nipple.

  “Eli…” I moaned, trying to find Eli’s mouth. He was teasing me, keeping his mouth just shy of mine, so I reached my tongue out and licked his lips. Eli’s eyes went dark and he furiously grabbed my skull, crushing his lips against mine. He ripped his V-neck off me, tearing the seams apart so it stretched off my shoulders and fell down my hips.

  “That was my favorite shirt of yours,” I said in between his punishing kisses.

  “It looks better this way,” Eli growled, removing his lips from mine and instead paying attention to my breasts. He grabbed them roughly yet gently with both palms and started kissing them equally. He lowered himself between my legs and gripped my thighs tightly between his arms. Eyes wide, I watched in fascination as Eli’s dark head disappeared between my creamy thighs.

  I didn’t think I would ever get used to this, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to. The minute his tongue entered me my brain spazzed out in pleasure and my back arched high off the bed, but Eli held me tight. He kept my thighs locked between his arms as if I would run away and continued to feast on me. I wiggled and groaned; the feelings Eli set off in me were just too much to control. Occasionally I would find myself enough to glance down at him, but the intense, carnal look in his eyes only set me off again. Just as I was about to come, Eli pulled back. I sat up, hair a mess around my face, mind in a daze, wondering where he’d gone.

  Eli grinned. “Are you ready to get up now?”

  I blinked, not sure I’d heard him correctly. Was I ready to get up now? I throbbed almost painfully between my thighs. My nipples were still hard. I was more than up; I was ready to go.