Limitless Love: A Lotus House Novel: Book Four

by Audrey Carlan

  I knew it before she said it.

  “AB negative.”

  Only one percent of Caucasians had AB negative blood, and less than half a percent of Asians, which Lily was, making the likelihood of that blood type far more rare.

  “Mine too.” I forced out the words, trying to make it sound calm, but my mind was raging with impossible scenarios.

  She ran her hand up and down my chest methodically. “Well, that’s good. You have something in common.”

  “Monet, there’s something I gotta tell you. Something on my mind.”

  Her body stiffened in my arms. I moved both my hands up and down her bare skin to try and put her in a state of relaxation once again.

  She nuzzled my chest and then rested her ear over my heart. I noticed she often did that. Said it reminded her that she wasn’t alone. I didn’t like the idea of my woman ever feeling alone. Not if I could help it.

  “This is way out of left field, but Mila told me you got the sperm donation from Berkeley Health and Reproductive Services.”

  Her tension eased, thinking we were going into a topic that wasn’t threatening.

  “Yeah, I did. So?”

  Gooseflesh danced across my forearms as I came clean. “I donated samples there on a few occasions while putting myself through college.”

  “Really? Why?”

  “Remember when I told you that I’d gotten scholarships and put myself through college?”

  She nodded against my chest.

  “Well, I worked a lot and lived on my own. Donating sperm and plasma were awesome for extra money back in the day.”

  For a long while, she was quiet. Every minute felt like an acupuncturist putting one more needle directly into my skin.

  “Clayton…” I knew that tone, and it was thoughtful but tired.

  Something inside me flicked to life at the mere consideration that the amazing little girl, the one I’d come to love and care for as my very own, could actually be mine. Maybe that’s why we’d bonded so quickly when she didn’t bond as easily with others. Because she was my daughter.

  “No, hear me out. Lily’s donor looked like me. Correct? At least that was the description in the materials you chose from.”

  Monet thought about it for a moment before responding. “Well, yes, but we were purposely trying to find characteristics that were similar to my ex-husband as well. Blond hair and blue eyes is not an unusual combination.” She didn’t need to remind me that Kyle and I had something in common, even if it was superficial.

  Still, giving it more thought, back when I was twenty, it hadn’t dawned on me that the clinic would actually be generating life with my sperm. Being barely legal, I just needed the cold hard cash to get by while busting my ass in college. All I cared about was the payout. Now I wondered if I had a whole host of children out there. Instead of worrying about that possibility, I got my mind back on the matter at hand. Lily and her paternity.

  “That I get. But her blood type is the same as mine. And it’s rare, Monet. Very rare.”

  She sighed and lifted up on one elbow, her hair falling in over her shoulder and in between her breasts. I wanted to finger the silky waves but didn’t want to distract Monet from what we were discussing. “Clay, honestly, what you’re leading up to is ludicrous.”

  I scowled and couldn’t bite back my hint of irritation. “Why? Because you wouldn’t want me to be her biological father?”

  She laughed out loud—tipped her head back, opened her mouth, and shook with it. Actually laughed when we were having a very serious conversation. So serious I got pissed. Mad as hell. Fire licked up and down my spine. I sat up, pressed my hands into my hair, and took several deep breaths, trying to bank back that fire.

  Monet followed me up and placed her hands on my back. “You’re misinterpreting my laughter, Clay. It’s joy, honey. The fact that you would even come to such a conclusion is so unbelievably lovely. But you have to realize how unlikely it is. Sure, you have a rare blood type and donated at the same clinic I used several years ago, but the odds have got be astronomical. I mean…”

  “A gift from God,” I offered seriously.

  She smiled and pressed the length of her body against my back, warming the sudden chill I’d felt. “A miracle. Yes.” She kissed my back and flattened her mouth to my flesh so I felt her speak. “I’d love nothing more than to find out that Lily was indeed your child, but a piece of paper wouldn’t mean anything to me. Not if you already plan on taking that role, which you yourself stated you have. Unless something has changed in your plans and I haven’t been given the new information.”

  I cringed and ground my teeth. Maybe she was right. The idea that the cosmos had put this insanely gorgeous woman—my exact type—in my path, not to mention have her be someone who was artificially inseminated with my sperm from a sperm bank I donated to a decade ago? I sagged against her, my shoulders curling forward with defeat. I guess it did seem a little out into Deep Space Nine territory. Even so, the hope was there, and I didn’t know how to turn that off.

  Monet waited patiently while I came to terms with the ridiculousness of what I’d been suggesting. It may have sounded crazy, but it didn’t change the fact that I wanted it to be true down to my very core. To know that Lily was mine and that I might’ve had claim to her biologically… At this point, it would be a fucking dream come true. Only, it was not often that dreams came true, and I’d already found my dream come true in Monet. I shouldn’t be greedy for more.

  “Clay, since we’re talking seriously, can I ask you one of my own?”

  I locked an arm around her form. “Ask me anything, beautiful. I’ll always tell you the truth.”

  She nuzzled into my side. “Why did you bail on what we’d started last year when you helped move Mila in here?”

  Unable to stop it, my entire body tightened. We’d just discussed some heavy shit, but if this woman was to be mine for good, she’d need to know why I was so spooked. More than that, she needed to know about my past. Hugging her close I inhaled her jasmine scent, reminding me that no matter what, I had her, I had Lily.

  “Years ago I was engaged to a woman named Stacey.”

  Monet dug her fingers into my side and stiffened. I rubbed her arm and along her hip to soothe the reaction. “I’m okay, just surprised. Keep going.”

  I swallowed around the sour taste that hit my mouth at remembering Stacey and all that she represented.

  “One day, my then girlfriend told me she was pregnant. Even showed me an ultrasound picture to prove it. We hadn’t been together that long, but I was young, stupid, and in what I thought was love—but more importantly, I was a proud man. If my woman was pregnant with my kid, I’d be damned if I didn’t put a ring on her finger and make an honest woman of her. So I asked her to marry me. Moved her into my house and started planning for a future.” I ran a shaky hand through my hair, remembering how Stacey had smiled and accepted my ring instantly. Lies. All lies.

  Monet’s voice was raspy when she responded. “Why do I get the feeling this went bad really fast?”

  I let out a frustrated breath, renewed anger at the memory of how fucked in the head that woman was. “Because it did. Not long after I moved her in, shared everything with her, including my money, she disappeared.”

  Monet gasped.

  “Cleared my bank accounts, left me a Dear John letter telling me she’d lied about being pregnant, and just bailed.”

  “No.” She lifted up on her elbows and locked her gaze on mine.

  I nodded. “Took me months to find her. When I did, she was in Vegas. Gone through the money she’d stolen and had her body wrapped around a high roller.”

  Her mouth opened in silent shock.

  “No baby. And believe me, she’d have been several months by then, and the skanky dress she was wearing when I found her left nothing to the imagination.”

  Tears built behind my girl’s eyes. Tears for me. For my past. One fell down her cheek. I swiped it with my thumb an
d then tasted it.

  “Hey, no tears for me. Sure, at the time that shit messed me up. But had it gone well, I wouldn’t be here living the most beautiful life with the right woman for me. Now would I?”

  She frowned and licked her lips. “I guess not.”

  Turning swiftly, I captured my woman and tumbled to my back, bringing her over me in one fell swoop. She settled over me, her frown turning into a smile.

  “So now you know. You going to be okay knowing all my ugly?”

  She nodded, flattened her body over mine, and hugged me. “I love you,” she whispered against my chest.

  With my thumbs, I tilted her head back up so I could get to her. “I love you.” I kissed her lips hard and fast but with intent and purpose.

  “I love you for wanting to be my baby’s dad.” Her eyes were as dark as night but filled with a flash of yearning I was sure only I could fill.

  Curling a hand around her nape, I brought her down so we were nose-to-nose. “One day, I will be.” And that was a fucking promise.

  “I like the sound of that,” she agreed sweetly, taking my lips in a deep kiss. For long moments, our tongues danced. I alternated from deep lunges and soft flicks of my tongue against hers. Damn, my woman could make me hard as granite with a single kiss.

  Being sneaky, I ran my hands up her thighs, which were straddling my waist. “You know what I like the sound of? You coming on my face,” I growled and surprised her by lifting her ass up so that she had to reach for the headboard, her knees bracketing my head. Right where I wanted her, the promised land hovered over my face. Her center glistened in the soft light of the room, proving that she wanted me just as badly.

  “Oh God!” she exclaimed at the first lap of my tongue from her tiny pucker to the sweet cherry-red knot. I flicked at her pleasure center, running my tongue around and around until her hips gyrated with each pass.

  In that moment, I owned every inch of her body. She was lost to her pleasure and I was the one who’d found it. Hovering over me, rocking her hips against my face, she ran a hand down between her breasts, over her stomach, and slid her fingers along my cheek. This time, she surprised me by moving them to her center, where she opened the petals of her sex wider in offering.

  “Need you,” she whispered, her head falling forward as I sucked on her clit hard between her fingers, tasting her salty skin alongside her sweet cherry.

  She let go and tunneled her hand into my hair, holding my head to the spot she liked best.

  “Mine,” I growled and then drank from her. I fucked her with my tongue and circled my index finger around her dark rosette, adding more stimulation in a place we hadn’t gone before.

  “Oh my God.” She wiggled her sweet rump.

  I growled. “You like a little ass play, beautiful?”

  “Mmmm,” she hummed.

  “Is it yummy?” I flicked at her clit and shoved my finger into her ass up to my first knuckle.

  Her body jerked, and I had to hold her down with my other hand on her hip to keep her in place while I doled out more stimulation.

  “Yeah…yummy.” She jerked against my face and started to get wild. I fingered her more quickly, lapped at her leisurely, until her body seemed to simmer with the need to come. I wasn’t giving her enough to put her over the edge. I could have easily. Instead, I wanted her to beg. Loved hearing my woman asking for me to continue my assault on her body.

  I stuck my tongue as far into her as I could and wedged my finger deep without moving it. She was sitting over my face with my tongue up her slit and my finger up her ass.

  My cock was so hard I thought it would break in half if I so much as touched it, but I pushed those thoughts aside and focused on my sex goddess as she rode my face, searching for her blissful end.

  “Please…” she finally uttered the words I wanted. They shimmered down over my chest and went straight to my dick, making it weep at the tip.

  “Christ! That’s my girl. You ask for what you need,” I taunted.

  “Need more. Oh, Clay, so much more,” she mewled and swirled her hips.

  With superhero strength, I pulled my woman off my face and my finger from her ass and settled her over my cock. She did not need to be told what to do. She sat on my dick so fast and so hard that my entire body spasmed right along with her.

  “Fuck yeah!” I groaned. I lifted her up, curled one hand around her shoulder and the other on her hip, and helped her ride me hard, fucking me to within an inch of my life.

  After a series of brutal strokes, her crying out with each one and me hitting the very end of her, over and over, I knew she was going to blow. Her eyes were pure black pools, and sweat misted her skin, tiny droplets coating both of our bodies. I licked the length of her neck, tasting the salt and sweet of her. I got up to my knees and took her with me. She wrapped her legs around my waist and let me forcefully pull her on and off my cock until we both found it.

  Fire burned in my thighs as I pumped and poured into her. She locked her legs around me, so I couldn’t move but an inch as she held me to her. For a long time, her body trembled with aftershocks. When I knew we’d both milked every last speck of pleasure from our coupling, I brought her back down to lie over my chest.

  She fell asleep instantly. My dick softened still lodged inside while she snoozed against my chest, small puffs of air leaving her mouth contentedly. I decided I didn’t care. Fuck being dirty. I liked dirty as long as it came with my girl. So we’d wake with a mess. Big deal.

  After one of the most passionate and intense nights of lovemaking, nothing could get me to pull my length out of her. Nope. Instead, I gripped both of her ass cheeks and thrust my hips deeper so that I was planted as far as I could go, and then I too fell asleep.

  Chapter Eighteen

  The predominant color for the heart chakra is emerald green, and the gemstones associated with the heart are emerald, malachite, jade, and rose quartz. These gemstones promote wisdom, balance, and peace in all things. They can also be used to protect the heart against negativity and cruel intentions.

  MONET

  “He thinks what?” Mila sat on the couch across from me in the family room while Lily watched cartoons. Matisse sat silently in the armchair, her feet pulled up under her and a blanket around her shoulders. She stared blankly out the window.

  It had been a week since her attack and seven weeks since mine. Still, there had not been hide nor hair seen or heard from Kyle. He hadn’t called the house or been located by cops. We were still at a dead end. Until that cockroach crawled out from under his rock, I feared we’d never catch a break.

  I played with the ring on my right finger, twisting it around and around while I chatted with my best friend. “You’re a smart cookie; figure it out.”

  Mila scowled. “Let me get this straight. Years ago, Clayton donated sperm at the same bank you used to get pregnant with Lily?”

  I nodded.

  “And he’s an exact replica of what you and I picked out when we chose a specimen. The age requirement fits too. We chose someone in their twenties, which Clay was at the time. Basically, a young stud.” She waggled her eyebrows dramatically.

  “Yep.” I sipped on my iced tea and watched as the ice cubes clinked against the glass.

  Mila pursed her lips and cracked her neck from side to side. “And they share a very rare blood type. AB negative.”

  I let out a long breath of frustrated air. “Yes, but it’s all just a coincidence.”

  “Huh. I guess it could be.” She tapped at her lips with a finger. “The real question is, what are you going to do with this juicy information?” She cocked one of her eyebrows into a point.

  Matisse glanced my way and looked down at her arms. The bandages were off and the wounds running down each arm from elbow to about two inches above her wrist were neat red lines, even from several feet away. They were scabbing over and didn’t seem to bother her too much, which I figured was a blessing.

  I shrugged and focused my attention
back on my friend. “Absolutely nothing.”

  Mila’s head jerked back as if she’d been slapped. “You’re kidding, right? Tell me you are not serious?”

  I shook my head. “Mila, I don’t need to verify what is basically a shot in the dark. Clayton plans on being with us long term, and we’re speeding down the highway toward church bells and forever. He has every intention of adopting Lily fully. It doesn’t matter what a paternity test says.”

  Matisse’s eyes widened, and she turned to Mila. “You think it’s possible that Clayton really could be the biological father?” Her voice was a whisper, and it was probably the longest sentence she’d said since we returned from the hospital a week ago. I found this to be a mini-win but wouldn’t dare address it out loud.

  Mila pushed her curls out of her face, and yet they stubbornly bounced right back into place. “Uh, yeah. Why am I the only one who thinks this is awesome and a total possibility?”

  Matisse looked down and away.

  I stood, ignoring the question, and headed to the kitchen for a refill of my tea. “Anyone need anything?” I asked, and both women shook their heads.

  Mila followed. Once she had an idea in her head, there was no going back. “I think we should check into this.”

  I gathered my wits firmly and shook my head. “No. It would ultimately hurt if a test revealed she wasn’t his, and I don’t want to do that to him. You don’t know what he’s been through in the past,” I whispered, leaning over the counter toward where Mila was perched on a stool.

  “What?” She glanced around in true best friend fashion, making sure the coast was clear.

  I grabbed the sponge and wiped down the already clean counter. “His last serious girlfriend lied to him about being pregnant with his child. Even showed him a fake ultrasound.”

  “No!” Mila gasped and covered her mouth with her hand.

  “Yes. Worse, he moved her right in, put a ring on her finger, and told her he was going to take care of her and the baby and they’d be a family.”

  Mila squinted and inched closer to me. “What’d the bitch do?” Her words were scathing and dipped in acid.