Because of You

by Megan Nugen Isbell

  “You can’t let him intimidate you. You have the law on your side. There’s nothing he can do to you.”

  “You don’t know that, Gabe. You don’t know him.”

  “But I know you,” he interjected. “And I know when I found you at the bottom of those stairs you were broken. I saw it in your eyes. But, it’s different now. You’re different, Sam.” He was pushing some of my damp hair behind my ear and smiling sweetly at me. “You’re not completely whole yet. I know that, but you’re not as broken anymore.” I felt his hand take mine then, curling his fingers around mine and looking into my eyes. “I can’t pretend to know your past. I don’t know what it’s like to grow up the way you did, but I see you.” He paused for a moment, scooting closer to me on the couch. “You don’t see what I see yet, but you will and you’ll see you can do anything.” I felt the burning in my throat. It still wasn’t easy for me to hear these kinds of words from him; to accept this kind of praise because I’d never heard it from anyone other than my sister. Part of me didn’t want to believe his words. I’d lived my whole life on the defense. I’d built up walls throughout my life to protect myself, but Gabe was breaking them down and he was making me believe in myself for the first time I could remember.

  “He can’t run my life anymore,” I said softly and then I found myself reaching for him, grazing my fingertips over his cheek.

  “Then don’t let him. You’re strong,” he said and then locked his eyes on mine. “Believe it.” I didn’t say anything for a few moments as I thought about what he’d just said. “And whatever happens with Tyler and his father, I’m going to be right here beside you.”

  I looked up, meeting his eyes, still in awe that he was even real. His patience and understanding wasn’t normal. I knew that. He should be running for the hills, not helping me, but he hadn’t gone anywhere. From the moment I woke up in his arms, he’d been here for me and I knew he wasn’t going anywhere.

  “Thank you,” I said softly, meeting his eyes and then reaching for his hand. “I swear I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  A confident smile formed on his face as he brushed his fingertips over the skin of my cheek.

  “Yes, you do. You’d do what you need to do, just like you are now.”

  I couldn’t help but smile back. He always saw the good in me, the good I’d always had a hard time finding, but for some reason, Gabe was always able to show me.

  “If you keep talking like this, someday I’m actually going to believe it,” I said with a quiet laugh.

  “That’s my plan,” he said, grinning again and then leaning in, pressing his lips lightly over mine, causing a rush to pulse through my body, leaving me breathless with just a simple kiss.

  Twenty-Two

  My heavy eyes drifted open too early the next morning. Gabe had stayed till almost eleven and when I glanced at the clock, it was just after seven. I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling for a few minutes and trying not to think of Tyler or Mr. Reeves or anything else for that matter. It was no use though. My mind was a busy place and never went on a break.

  I turned my head towards the window. The light was spilling in generously and I could see a clear blue sky from the tops of the curtains. Despite my crowded thoughts and the near constant pit in my stomach, the bright sunlight made me feel better. This time of year, as fall transitioned to winter, cloudy skies were common, so I was grateful for the sun.

  I finally pulled myself out of bed and walked into the kitchen, opening the fridge and staring inside. Nothing looked appetizing and so I settled on a glass of orange juice.

  I’d just taken my first drink when the buzzer went off, signaling someone downstairs. I set the glass down, my heart beating a little faster and nerves coursing through my body. Slowly, I walked to the door and with a shaking finger, I hit the button.

  “Yes?” I asked, the anxiety heavy in my voice.

  “Morning, sunshine. It’s me.” Gabe’s voice, which sounded entirely too cheerful for this early in the morning, rang through the speaker and I couldn’t help but smile as the fear dissipated.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked into the intercom.

  “I’ll tell you if you let me come up,” he said and I hit the button to let him in.

  “Get up here then,” I said and I could hear the change in my demeanor by the way my voice sounded. Things were always better when Gabe was around.

  I heard his footsteps approaching in the hall and I looked down at my sweats and old t-shirt I’d worn to bed. I looked like a mess. My hair hung in dark mats down my back and I knew I had mascara stains on my eyes since I hadn’t washed my face before bed. There wasn’t anything I could do about it at this point and what did Gabe expect me to look like during an early morning pop-in?

  He knocked a second later and when I opened the door, the two of us couldn’t look more different. While I looked like I’d been through the wringer, he looked like he belonged on the pages of an L.L. Bean catalog in his jeans and black pea coat, a burgundy scarf around his neck.

  He smiled at me when our eyes met, causing my self-consciousness of my own outfit, or lack thereof, to melt.

  “What the heck are you doing here? It’s not even seven-thirty,” I said, standing aside and motioning him into the apartment.

  “Early morning’s the best time of day,” he said in that chipper voice again that would’ve irritated me this early in the morning had it come from anybody else.

  “I just woke up though,” I said with a yawn.

  “It’s perfect timing then,” he said, leaning over and kissing me on the cheek, which I was grateful for since I hadn’t even brushed my teeth yet.

  “Perfect timing for what?” I asked when he’d pulled back.

  “Go get dressed.”

  “Why do I need to get dressed? I literally woke up fifteen minutes ago.”

  “Just do it, Sam.”

  “I haven’t even taken a shower yet.”

  “You don’t need one.”

  “Yes, I do,” I retorted. “I look like a raccoon.”

  “For the record, no you don’t, so get going. Jeans and a sweater should be fine,” he said, nudging me gently towards the hallway. I stopped, eyeing him curiously and when he motioned for me to keep going, I decided not to argue anymore and simply made my way to my room.

  I looked in the mirror and just as I’d expected, big black circles were under my eyes from the makeup, but there was also a smile on my face. That wasn’t surprising though. Gabe always made me smile.

  I changed into a pair of jeans and a purple sweater, like he’d suggested, and then walked across the hall to the bathroom, quickly washing my face and pulling my hair back into a loose braid before brushing my teeth. Gabe had seemed anxious to leave, so I decided to forgo any makeup. I looked once more in the mirror and decided it would have to do.

  When I walked into the living room, he was still standing by the door, but now he had my coat in his hands.

  “Ready?” he asked, holding the coat out.

  “As ready as I can be in five minutes,” I said with a laugh as he helped me slide the coat on. “I didn’t have time to do much with my hair or put on any makeup.”

  “It doesn’t matter because you don’t need it,” he said, turning me so I was facing him. “You’re even more beautiful without it.”

  He smiled and then leaned in, brushing his lips lightly over mine.

  “You always know just what to say,” I said, hoping I wasn’t blushing too badly.

  “It wasn’t just a line, Sam. I meant it.” He cupped my cheek with his palm and smiled gently at me as he looked into my eyes. I believed him. I believed I was beautiful. Because of him, I felt it.

  I reached up, placing my hand over his for a few moments and then he pulled me to him, kissing me on the forehead before letting go. My heart was pounding in my chest. It still surprised me how deeply he affected my emotions.

  “Should we go?” he asked finally.

  “And wh
ere exactly are we going?” I asked as he opened the door and ushered me into the hall.

  “To the beach,” he said with a grin and I didn’t give it a second thought that it was barely forty degrees outside. I’d go anywhere with him.

  ~~~

  “Where exactly are we going?” I asked as we drove.

  “Manchester-by-the-Sea,” he said, referring to a town about forty minutes north of the city.

  “And why are we going there?” I asked. He reached across the console and took my hand with his, turning his attention from the road momentarily to give me a quick smile.

  “I know things have been a little stressful lately. I thought we could do something to take your mind off of everything,” he said and I felt a lump in my throat as I smiled back at him. No one had ever cared about me like this and sometimes I was afraid it was just my imagination; that one day I’d blink and it would all be a memory.

  “That’s really sweet of you,” I said softly and he squeezed my hand. “Why Manchester-by-the-Sea though?”

  “Have you ever been to Singing Beach?” he asked and I shook my head.

  “No. I’ve never heard of it,” I told him. My family hadn’t done a lot growing up. We never went to the beach, or anywhere else for that matter. Once I moved to Boston with Rachel, I concentrated on school and work. I couldn’t recall the last time I’d even been to the beach.

  “It was my family’s favorite spot to go to growing up,” he said, a smile forming on his face that told me he was reminiscing.

  “Why’s it called Singing Beach?” I asked.

  “Because sometimes, when you walk on the sand just right, you can sometimes hear the sand rubbing against each other and it sings. Well…more like squeaks,” he said with a laugh.

  “Seriously? How does that happen?”

  “I don’t know, but it does. And it should be deserted enough that we can hear it. In the summer time, it gets wicked crowded, but I doubt we’ll have any company on this cold morning.” He grinned and squeezed my hand again as the quiet settled in for a few moments.

  “Thank you for doing this, Gabe,” I said and he turned and smiled at me again.

  “No thanks needed,” he replied as we continued our drive.

  He’d been right about having the beach to ourselves when he pulled into the small parking lot. There wasn’t a soul on the beach as I looked out towards the water. I stepped outside and the breeze of the ocean hit me. I stuffed my hands in my pockets and met Gabe in front of the SUV. He had a small cooler in hand and I glanced at it curiously.

  “What’s that?” I asked him.

  “Breakfast,” he said, taking me by the elbow and leading me towards the water.

  I loved the sound of the waves crashing. The air smelled different too. Boston was on the water, but this was different. This was peaceful and calm where the problems of the city didn’t seem to exist.

  We stepped onto the deserted beach, my feet sinking into the sand. I stopped and looked at Gabe.

  “So, when does this sand start to sing?” I asked.

  “Sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn’t. Let’s hope we get lucky today.” He smiled at me and we started walking, our feet pushing through the grains of sand as I strained to hear the mysterious sound. I could tell Gabe was listening intently as well while we walked. As we neared the waves though, I heard nothing but the water crashing into the shore.

  “I didn’t miss it, did I?” I asked and he shook his head.

  “If it was singing, I didn’t hear anything,” he said and I could tell he was disappointed. “Maybe we’ll hear it later.”

  “Maybe,” I agreed and we walked a few more steps before he stopped.

  “How’s this spot?” he asked me and I looked around. It wasn’t far from where the waves were rolling in.

  “Perfect,” I said and we sat down as I started to look around at the tree-lined rocky cliffs jutting out in the water. The sky seemed to go on forever and even though we’d just arrived, I couldn’t recall a time I’d felt such peace. “It’s beautiful here,” I said softly.

  “It is,” he agreed. “I used to love coming in the summer with my family, but it was crowded. I actually prefer coming in the fall and spring before the crowds come back and ruin it.” He smiled over to me as he started reaching into the cooler he’d brought.

  “I can’t believe we have this whole place to ourselves.”

  “It was worth the early start then?” he asked and I smiled at him.

  “Definitely,” I answered and then I sat quietly for a moment, staring out into the water.

  The smell of coffee brought my attention back and I turned to see Gabe holding out an insulated cup to me.

  “You have coffee?”

  “Yeah. It’s still hot. I put it in a thermos for the drive up. I know how you like your coffee in the morning,” he said as I took it from him and took a sip.

  “I do. Thank you,” I said as he reached for the cooler again.

  “Do you want a muffin? I’ve also got an apple fritter. I wasn’t sure what you’d want.”

  “The fritter sounds great actually,” I said, a wide smile forming on my face at the mention of one of my favorite pastries. He reached into the cooler and then handed it to me. I took a bite. It was sweet, sticky and sinfully delicious. “This is amazing. Where’d you get it?” I asked, licking my fingers.

  “A bakery by my place,” he said.

  “It’s incredible. Have a bite,” I said, pushing the fritter towards him. He took a little bite and smiled.

  “Not bad,” he nodded.

  “Not bad?” I scoffed. “This is unbelievably good.”

  He started laughing and then looked at me.

  “You’re really into food, aren’t you?”

  “When it tastes like this I am!” I exclaimed, taking another bite while his laughter faded and the playfulness in his eyes was replaced with a caring smile.

  “It’s nice to see you like this,” he said.

  “Like what?” I asked.

  “Smiling. Laughing. Just being you,” he said softly. “That’s what I wanted to see…bringing you here.”

  “I think you’ve accomplished your goal then,” I said, reaching for his hand and linking it with mine. We were quiet for a few moments and then he turned to me.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he finally said to me. I looked up to meet his eyes and I felt my cheeks warm from what he’d just said. “I mean it, Sam,” he said, reaching for a piece of hair that had escaped my braid and pushed it behind my ear. “You are. Everything about you is. Especially now…like this…when you look so happy. Contentment suits you.”

  He smiled at me and then I felt his fingertips trail down my cheek as his eyes moved slowly over my face.

  “It’s nice to just be here…in this moment…to put everything behind me for a little while,” I said softly. “This morning couldn’t be more perfect.”

  “That’s exactly what I wanted for you. I know things haven’t been good and I wanted you not to have to think about any of it, even if it was only for a little while.”

  I was quiet for a moment as I looked at this man and fought the lump in my throat. Every day he surprised me. Every day he did things I never expected him to do…that I never expected any man to do, but he did.

  “Guys like you don’t exist, Gabriel,” I said, using his full name, which I rarely did.

  “Yes, we do, because I’m here obviously.”

  “Well, you’re too perfect sometimes,” I said and he grinned over to me after taking a drink of his coffee.

  “Would you like me to stop?” he asked.

  “Never,” I answered and then he reached for me, putting his arm around me and pulling me to him so he could give me a kiss on the head.

  “Then just accept that I like doing things for you, Sam. That I like to make you happy.”

  I saw it in his eyes. The kindness. The respect. The concern and I nodded.

  “Okay,” I whispered and
then he leaned in, brushing his lips softly over mine. It may have been cold outside, but I didn’t feel it. I only felt the warmth of his kiss and I smiled, so happy to be here with him.

  We sat on the beach for a little while longer, eating our breakfast and watching the ocean. I knew Gabe had to work later though and I had a shift at O’Leary’s. We couldn’t stay at the isolation of the beach forever, no matter how nice it would be and so after another hour, we stood up and gathered our things.

  “Let’s try this again,” Gabe said as we walked away from the water. “This sand has got to sing for us today.”

  He stopped and then started shuffling his feet along the sand once we got beyond the tide line. A smile formed on his face just as I heard a faint creaking sound.

  “Is that it?” I asked.

  “Yeah. You hear it?”

  “That’s so weird!” I exclaimed, a grin spreading on my face.

  “Pretty cool, huh?” he asked and I nodded.

  “I never thought I’d hear singing sand. I guess anything is possible then,” I said, smiling up at him.

  “Damn right it is,” he said, shuffling his feet for a few more seconds before taking my hand and leading me back to the car. Just before I got in, I turned one more time to the ocean, trying to burn the memory into my mind, wanting to always remember it, before getting inside and driving away from the most perfect morning I’d ever had.

  Twenty-Three

  It’d been a few days since Mr. Reeves had showed up at O’Leary’s and too long since the morning at Singing Beach. Sometimes I’d close my eyes, trying to recall the memory of it and for those few moments, I was taken back to the waves and to Gabe and everything seemed okay. But then, I’d open my eyes and be brought back to my current reality.

  Despite the request by Mr. Reeves, I hadn’t asked that the order be lifted and I had no plan to. The Reeves might be wealthy and powerful, but I wasn’t going to let their fear and intimidation change what I’d done, even though there was no denying I was still afraid. I’d determined I wasn’t going to live my life in fear anymore, although I was still afraid. And despite Gabe’s tough talk, I knew he was too, which is why I hadn’t been entirely surprised when he’d shown up outside of the pub at the end of my first shift after Tyler’s father had approached me. It’d been the same thing each day since. He’d somehow manage to finagle the time it took to walk or drive me home before heading back to work or simply hanging out with me when we got back to my apartment if he wasn’t working. I had to admit, I’d grown to like my escort home and was looking forward to an evening with Gabe as we held hands, climbing up the stairs to my door after finishing my shift.