Indigo [Try Pink Act Two]

by Max Ellendale

  "Did you really believe that he'd hurt me?" I cried softly and she pulled me against her. For once, I let her comfort me, but not for too long.

  "I've seen what he was capable of. I just got so scared when I saw him. I just...I had to."

  "I know. I saw you with him. You were so afraid. For me more than anything." I sniffled and ran my fingers through her hair.

  "We're equal. No one's worse than the other so stop thinking it," she said as if she could read my mind.

  "Except I killed him."

  "And I killed you. By accident." Her words silenced both of us and she guided my head to her shoulder. Our fingers laced together between us and she pressed her lips to my knuckles. "He deserved to die. You don't."

  "Neither do you."

  "If it's any consolation, he's killed someone before. Maybe more than one person. He got off on double-jeopardy."

  "You never told me that." I met her gaze again and her expression grew somber.

  "Never seemed important before."

  "I think South Dakota will be nice," I said and pulled the blanket over us.

  "It will be." We shifted positions and she placed her head on my shoulder the way she had every night since our return home. I wrapped my arms around her and focused on the warmth of her breath against my neck.

  "I love you. More than anything."

  I couldn't see it but I felt her smile. That was all I really needed.

  Embers

  It took us longer to finish the white borders than it did to paint the entire room. Jilly frustrated herself over her shaky hands and forced me to do most of the trim work while she scoured the kitchen. By mid-day, we'd had a clean kitchen and lunch delivered by the local deli. We sat on the floor in the living room and shared a tuna wrap.

  "I don't want to buy groceries," she said.

  "Me either."

  "Ever again."

  "We'll go together next time." I laughed a little bit and she grinned.

  "Are you sure you don't want to sublet this place?" she asked, crumpling up a wrapper.

  "It'll be fine just left as it is. Maybe when we come for visits or something," I said.

  "Yeah. And so we don't have to move shit out."

  "I don't really want to take anything anyway. Other than our time together, this place has been a source of emptiness and pain."

  "Except for the studio."

  "Yeah…"

  "You'll have a better studio in the loft space in the new place."

  "I didn't really think about it."

  "I did."

  Buying an unoccupied, newly built home in the middle of the woods when you have the full payment upfront is a lot easier than it appears. There wasn't the long wait for the other owners to leave or bank contracts for a mortgage. The sale didn't deplete our accounts by any means, which is what happens to people who hoard money because they can't find a better use for it.

  Jilly and I packed some clothes in the car, my guns, the laptop, toiletries, and she insisted on some of my paintings. I let her and off we went to a house we only saw via virtual tour in an SUV that had barely five thousand miles on it. We picked a good time to drive halfway across the country, in the early blooming period of spring. Minty greens coated the tree tops, making them look like puffy vibrations from a distance. Occasionally we'd come across a cherry blossom or patch of wildflowers along the roadside. We didn't say much for the first few hours of the drive. Jilly slept most of the time and occasionally she'd jump, waking herself on and off.

  We stopped for gas and food, and took turns driving. By the time we hit Ohio, my thoughts slowed enough to make better sense.

  "When I went to this club down in Portland, there was a dancer there called The Ginger Man. This redhead dressed as a guy, but dapper like from the 1920s," I said seemingly at random.

  "Oh yeah. I saw a poster for that. It was at the burlesque place." She perked up, turning in her seat to face me.

  "I thought she was you and rushed the stage when she was leaving. But it turned out she was wearing a wig and the bouncers threw me out." I laughed a little bit as I thought about it.

  "You did what?" Her eyes bugged out and she laughed, too. "Jess, that's hysterical. I can just envision it."

  "It definitely wasn't funny at the time but it kind of is now. She wasn't as pretty as you are, not in the least."

  "Are you saying you want me to cross-dress and strip for you?" She wagged her brows at me and I shoved her shoulder playfully.

  "It seems so. I went to about twenty places to watch naked girls parade around on stage."

  "I thought you didn't look for me?" Her brow furrowed and I glanced away from the road to her.

  "I didn't."

  "You knew I used to dance in places like that. Why else would you go there? Have you ever gone before?"

  "No…"

  "So you looked for me."

  "But I didn't…"

  "What were you going in there for? Hoping to see me prance on stage?"

  I thought about what she said and dropped my head back against the seat. It didn't seem like my motives at the time. They were way more destructive. "I did hope that."

  "What would you have done?"

  "Rushed you and got bounced out." Again I laughed a little and she nearly giggled.

  "I would've paid good money to see that."

  "I would've paid good money to see you."

  "You got me now. For free."

  "We have each other. At a high price for us both," I said and she reached over to squeeze my hand.

  "Are you ever going to sleep with me again?" she asked out of nowhere. "You haven't. I've been back almost a month."

  "It hurts you when I touch you…"

  "No it doesn't…"

  "It does. I make you cry."

  "You don't make me cry—"

  "I do. Like I used to. Every time we made love in the first six months we were together, you'd cry after," I said.

  "But I was happy every time," she said.

  "I know. But your tears aren't happy now." I gripped the steering wheel tighter as my throat squeezed down on a lump. She leaned across the console to put her head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arm around her and we drove on in silence for awhile.

  At the end of our first twelve hours, she patted my leg and sat up. "My turn. Pull over."

  "I'm okay."

  "No you're not. You're getting tired. C'mon."

  I obliged and pulled over at the next rest stop. We took a bathroom break, bought some snacks, and piled back in the car. Jillian fed me a cheese-covered nacho before she started the engine.

  "Not bad for out of a metal thing at the Seven Eleven," I said through all the crunching.

  "Nope. Not bad at all. Now eat your healthy hotdog and have a nap."

  "Yes, Mommy." I smirked and she laughed, swatting my thigh before pulling back on to the road.

  I watched her while she drove, with the electronic voice of the GPS in the background, and took note of how she smiled when she knew I was watching. The gentle sideways glance she'd shoot at me every now and then. I thought about the things we'd do in South Dakota and how I planned to teach her how to shoot. A rifle and a pistol should improve her confidence. I wanted nothing more than for her to be safe. Always.

  "Go to sleep," she said with a grin. "Quit staring at me."

  "Shut up." I laughed, a real one, and pulled the blanket up over my shoulders.

  When I opened my eyes again, the orangey glow of sunrise made Jillian's hair even more ginger. She looked calmer than I'd seen her in weeks. I wondered if it was because she didn't know I was watching her. The road ahead of us seemed endless. At first, straight and meeting the horizon, then flanked by mountains and trees.

  "Almost there," I said, my voice all groggy.

  "Just a few hours," she said, digging around in the cup holder then handing me my cell phone. "It's charged and on. I paid it when we stopped at the last gas station. Call your mother."

  "You call your mot
her."

  "I already did. She wasn't home." A smirk curved her lips and I snatched the phone from her.

  "Liar."

  "I did." She laughed and smacked my arm.

  "You ready to swap?" I said as I sat up, stretching a bit.

  "Not yet. Does the new place have furniture? We don't have sheets. Or a bed."

  "It has some. They partially furnished it for show and sale. They let us keep it. A bed is coming on Thursday and I already ordered sheets and pillows."

  "You do all this stuff in the middle of the night when I'm asleep and don't know anything," she said.

  "Surprising you is nice."

  "Yeah." She glanced at me with a smile. "It is."

  Just before sunset, I drove the car up the long driveway. It was paved though had turnoffs that weren't. The SUV handled the terrain perfectly. We twisted and curved through dense forest, following the road to our new property. Jillian sat at the edge of her seat when the house came into view. Dark wood, four gables, a two-car garage, and a long front porch greeted us like a warm hug. Jillian flew out of the car and I followed her. She spun in a complete circle, taking in the view. The sky, a blue dome above the treetops, almost seemed to smile.

  "Check out the back," I told her when she turned to me, tears brimming her eyes. My heart leapt with joy when I saw her happiness again. The genuine kind that told me I'd done the right thing. With a hop in her step, she hurried around the side of the house and I followed. She skid to a halt where the driveway met the grass. A vast wooden fence squared the immediate area around the house, lending focus to the deck that jutted out from the back. The leveled area beside it sat primed for a pool that hadn't been erected yet. The octagon deck on the other side had a stone grill and a pretty patio set perched on it.

  The earth curved and the backyard dipped with it. A giant chimney stretched from the highest peak of the house to the ground. Jilly stood there, staring in awe, while I listened to the rushing sound of the creek at the bottom of the hill. I walked to the fence line to watch the crystal clear water rumble over the bed of stones.

  "This isn't real," Jilly said when she caught up to me. "It's a dream."

  "It's not, baby." I took her hand and she squeezed. "Wait until you see the inside."

  "I can't wait."

  Every structure inside was matching dark wood, shined to perfection. The house smelled fresh and clean, like sharpened cedar and new upholstery. Marble countertops covered all the surfaces in the kitchen, including the island in the center. French doors opened to one of the decks and looked out into the acres of woodland behind it.

  "Jess, this is the most amazing house in the world," she said as we both gazed up at the high ceiling where the stone hearth met the roof.

  "And it's all yours, Jilly."

  "Ours, not just mine. We bought this together with our money from our work." She turned to me, taking both of my hands in hers. "And I love it."

  "I love you." My smile, wider than I had in a long time, felt like it came from inside of me rather than just on the surface. Jilly's exuberance livened me up along with the change in scenery.

  "I love you, too," she said, cupping my face and pulling me into a frenzied kiss. In the beginning, I fumbled through it the same way I had the first time she kissed me. Heat rushed my insides as if she'd leaned me backward into a tropical waterfall. I hadn't realized how cold I was until that moment.

  When the kiss ended, I rested my forehead against hers and closed my eyes. I stroked her hair and she held me to her. I'm not sure how long we stayed there, but it was long enough for my heart to pound and my face to warm like the rest of me.

  "Let's light a fire," she said. "Do you know how?"

  "I do. Will you check the water, make sure it runs, and the toilets? We have to call the realtor to confirm that we're here."

  "Okay, but if I'm not back in ten minutes, come find me," she said, kissing my forehead before releasing me.

  "I will." I laughed and she fluttered her way down the hall.

  Today, I felt like I'd done something right.

  Target

  The realtor came and went, giving us the rest of the keys and showing us how to use the CIA-style security system. Thankfully, she also brought us a fruit basket because we wouldn't have had anything to eat otherwise. We unloaded the car, showered in the walk-in ceramic and glass style shower, and finally collapsed on the sofa by the fire sometime in the middle of the night.

  "We need curtains. Any creeper walking in the woods for thirty miles around can see us," Jilly said, her body a bit tense as she stared at the completely black windows. The dim light from the fire reflected back at us.

  "The shades are inside the windows. Didn't you see her show us?" I picked up the remote from the coffee table and pressed the blue button in the center. "Feels like a garage door opener." Slowly, black shades rolled up. "They have these in Alaska."

  "I must've missed that," she said, laughing a bit but relaxing immediately. "That's better."

  "And the windows are reinforced because of the storms they get here and blizzards. Better than at the condo."

  "It's already safer here," she said, shifting her position some. I laid on my back while Jilly lay half on top of me. She draped her leg over mine and let her arm fall across my middle. My ribs no longer hurt with gentle pressure. It only bothered me when I sneezed. I kissed her forehead and she nuzzled my chin with her nose. She was out cold within seconds and I let the crackle of the fire lull me soon after.

  The next morning, I woke to sunlight flooding in the living room and the blanket tucked up to my chin. Jillian wasn't with me but I heard her talking somewhere in the house. Her voice echoed through the empty spaces.

  "No, I'll authorize it. Yeah." She paused. "She's doing better. Just hold everything for now. I'm not sure what she'll want to sell. Right." Another pause. "Thanks."

  I peeked up over the couch then rolled to my feet with a grunt. The clock in the kitchen read 2:00 PM which surprised me. I hadn't slept that long in months.

  "What exactly are you authorizing?" I teased when I found her in the kitchen surrounded by two dozen grocery bags. "What...is all this?"

  "The giant grocery in town delivers. Did you know?" She perked right up and nearly fluttered over to me with a half-eaten apple in her hand. I took a bite when she held it to me.

  "Nope." I crunched on the fruit. "I know nothing about this area. How'd you find out?"

  "Internet and the realtor left a map and lists of local places. There's only one pizza place that will deliver out here."

  "Are you happy that you'll never have to grocery shop again?" I laughed softly, watching her bounce around the kitchen while putting things away. She wore a long black skirt and a mismatched T-shirt as she did so. Her body moved airily like she floated across the shiny wood floor, bare feet hardly making a sound.

  "Very," she chirped.

  "Who were you talking to?"

  "Rhoda. You had about ten emails from her." She pointed at the computer that I hadn't noticed perched between the groceries on the marble countertop. "She had money to deposit that needed your authorization."

  "You're just taking care of all sorts of business today," I said, leaning against the counter. My body seemed to sigh both in relief and from the exhaustion that suddenly hit me in the stillness of our new place. "Thank you."

  "Welcome," she said, closing the stainless steel fridge after putting away a gallon of milk. I started when I realized I wasn't helping then pushed myself up to do so. She smooched my cheek when I reached up to stock the cabinets with the canned goods and cereals that she bought. I smiled at her and she grinned.

  "The bed will be here soon," I said.

  "It's already here," she told me, nodding toward the stairs. "I made it up."

  "How'd I miss all of this?" I leaned against the counter again once we put everything away and she stepped in front of me.

  "You were actually sleeping for once. I didn't want to wake you." Her hands fel
l to my waist and she stroked my hips. I put my hands on top of hers and she squeezed my fingertips.

  Over the past few years, our roles in life were pretty equal. We did almost everything together, Jilly took care of a lot of the household stuff and I looked after the finances. Today, she was doing it all and I was grateful for it.

  "Rhoda misses you and she's worried," she said. "She keeps asking how you are."

  "How am I?"

  "Better," she said, stroking my chin with her finger.

  "How are you?" I asked.

  "A lot better," she said, her smile broadening.

  "I admire your resilience, Jilly. I really do."

  "I admire your bravery," she said, cupping my cheeks in her hands. My arms remained at my sides but my fingers twitched as I fought the urge to touch her the way I used to. "You can touch me," she whispered as if she read my mind.

  "My bravery?" I scoffed a bit but placed my hands on her middle. She didn't shy away or recoil.

  "Yes. Don't give me that look." She patted my cheek and I laughed. "You're brave."

  "You're resilient," I told her.

  "We're good together."

  "Yeah." I smiled when she nudged my forehead with hers. "We are. Come on, I want to show you something."

  "Okay." She laughed when I grabbed her hand and tugged her out the French doors to the deck. Beside the deck off the kitchen, a wood-paneled hot tub stood ready and waiting. I turned it on and the water began to bubble and warm.

  "What do you think?"

  "It's perfect. Want to go in?" she asked, glancing around us but of course, no one was near. People were miles away from us unless they hiked the path about half a mile into the woods.

  "In the daylight with no suits?" I lifted a brow at her and she grinned, nodding. "And you said I was brave?"

  "You are. C'mon." She tugged me over to it and I watched as she ditched her shirt. Her skirt fell away with her panties and she climbed in first.