Indigo [Try Pink Act Two]

by Max Ellendale

  Every inch of her was perfect once again. Not a bruise or blemish, save for the old scar on her thigh. I hesitated a little but she waved me forward, her hand outstretched. I took off my yoga pants and sweatshirt, then my undergarments. The bruise on my ribs had faded to a yellow-green now and, when I stepped into the water with her help, she ran her fingers over the marking. Neither of us said anything and the water warmed slowly until the soothing heat wrapped around us like a comforting hug. Jilly sat across from me, our legs tangled underwater, and ran her hands back and forth over the bubbly surface. Her expression, soft and content like it used to be, brought an ache of yearning deep from the pit of my soul. For a moment, I thought about painting her image again, with her eyes gazing down in the water, and crystal blue sky reflected in her sapphire eyes. She smiled when she caught me watching her and flicked a little water at me. "C'mere," she said."

  I shifted my position, gliding to the space beside her. She turned to me, bending her leg on the seat, and stroked my wet hair. I turned to kiss her wrist and she nudged my chin upward so that I'd meet her gaze. Her eyes searched mine, briefly but thoroughly, before she leaned in to kiss me. Her lips, luscious rubies against mine, led me through yet another unpracticed dance until we found our old rhythm. Except it was more new than old, and a lot softer but bold. I let her lead me in any way she wanted.

  Eventually, she sat back, pulling me toward her so that I was kissing her from atop. I caressed her face, taking my time with her and projecting my affection with every stroke. Her hands cupped my breasts and something long dead ignited inside me like it had the first time she touched me. The ache between my legs rushed me so fast that I lost a bit of breath. Her hips moved slightly, forcing her core against my thigh until she stopped, ending the kiss to gaze at me. She'd scared herself, like I'd expected she might, but I didn't let her pull away too far. I stroked her cheek then her neck and she kissed the fingers of my other hand. She was very interested in my hands lately and the thought finally struck me.

  "It's my hands that worry you," I whispered. Her gaze flickered in my direction and she nodded. I rested my palm in the space between her breasts and felt her heart pounding heavily. She held on to my wrist, both restraining me and keeping me from pulling away. "They're as they've always been." I lifted my free hand up to show her. She watched as I moved my fingers, one after the other, and turned my palm over for her to see. Almost like an infant, seeing something for the first time, she followed. "My hand and yours," I said when she lifted her palm to press against mine. Our fingers laced together and she squeezed me firmly. "No one else."

  "Soft," she said, stroking her thumb between our palms.

  "Very. And gentle."

  She smiled and hugged my hand that was on her chest, shifting her position to place her head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arm around her, resting my chin on her forehead, while she played with my fingers. She kissed each of them, multiple times, and let me trace the curve of her lips and jaw line. The water bounced around us in soothing vibrations against our backs.

  We stayed there like that until the sun disappeared behind the trees and our fingers were prunier than prunes. Neither of us spoke for quite awhile but we didn't need to.

  Eventually, she kissed me again and I smiled.

  "How come you don't paint anymore?" she asked out of nowhere.

  "Lost my inspiration for awhile."

  "And now?"

  "Slowly returning."

  ***

  "Come over here," I called to Jilly while she stood by the stairs of the deck. I'd set myself up on the flat land beside the creek. Hay bales made a wall behind a makeshift wooden construction horse I found in the rafters of the barn.

  "No way." She shook her head, her hair fluttering wildly in the gentle breeze. "I don't want to."

  "Come on now, Jillybean, buck up," I said as I loaded the rifle. The simple old weapon belonged to my father before me. She crossed her arms over her middle and nearly pouted.

  "You only call me that when you want something," she said, finally giving in and meandering her way down the slope.

  "That's right. And today I want to teach you to shoot." I cocked the gun and she walked a wide circle around me and came up from behind. I laughed a little bit and she huffed. She came to stand beside me and I gestured toward the cans I had lined up on the construction horse. "We can start with the pistols if you want."

  "No, those freak me out more." She shook her head then squinted when I took aim.

  "Ready for the noise?"

  "Yes," she said, covering her ears. With the gun braced appropriately, I squeezed the trigger and the can barreled off the horse. Jilly dropped her hands and looked at me. "That wasn't as loud as I thought."

  "Open spaces. Here, stand where I am," I said as I reloaded the bolt action Winchester. Reluctantly, she moved in front of me and I helped her get herself into position. I brushed her hair off her shoulders and she shivered a bit when I reached around to hold the rifle with her. "You'll feel some kickback against your shoulder but not as much like this. Square yourself off and keep your elbows down."

  "I don't like this very much," she said, but went with it.

  "What if we're in the hot tub and a grizzly bear comes charging and I slip and break my face? You'll have to protect us."

  "Jess." She laughed and elbowed me gently.

  "Cheek to the stock. Aim like I showed you before," I instructed, holding her and the gun at the same time. I slipped my finger over hers and guided it to the trigger. "Squeeze, don't pull."

  "Okay, okay," she said quickly then bam! The shot rang out and she squeaked with some of the recoil. We completely missed the can but the target on the hay bail showed where the bullet penetrated.

  "Not bad for a lefty. Ready to try alone?" I nudged her into position again and she looked at me out of the corner of her eye.

  "You going to give me a massage later when my shoulder hurts?"

  "Yes." I laughed and took position behind her. "Elbows down, go on."

  It took her a little bit to ready herself, but when she finally fired, she hit the target on her own. She looked at me with a bright smile and I grinned. "Nice. Tomorrow is pistols."

  "Oh great," she said, rolling her eyes and laughing.

  I taught her how to reload and we fired a few more rounds. She got closer to the cans each time until she finally hit one, nearly jumping with excitement. When she set the weapon down, she leapt at me and I hugged her, lifting her off the ground to spin her once. She laughed and tossed her head back, then set her feet down. Her smile was endless and her firm kiss told me she enjoyed our celebratory embrace.

  "Did your dad hunt?" she asked as we carried the gun back to the house.

  "Yes but not for sport. We ate what he killed growing up. He made sure to use every part of the animal that he could, and what he couldn't, he would leave under vulture nests or something, like the organ meat," I told her.

  "That's sensitive of him," she said, taking my hand after we locked up the house for the night. "I have somewhere to take you tomorrow."

  "Where?"

  "Not far. In the woods a little," she said, walking backward while she held my hand. Her smile, impish and playful, only made me chuckle.

  "That's creepy of you, Jilly. Are you going to sacrifice me to the spirits of South Dakota?" I followed her up the stairs when she walked backward. It wasn't dark out yet but when Jilly led, I often followed. Even if I didn't intend to.

  "Mhmm. That's my intention."

  On the landing of the loft, boxes of all shapes and sizes filled the previously empty space. It looked like someone tried to turn cardboard into building blocks. "Where'd this come from?"

  "Had it all delivered while you slept this morning."

  "Again with the missing out because I'm unconscious? Are you drugging me?"

  "Nope. I'm taking advantage of your recuperative sleep," she said, laughing. "Everything up here is for you. When you're ready, I want you to open it all. Okay
?"

  "Okay, creeper. If this is for me, what's for you?" I asked, lifting a brow at her.

  "I'll show you," she said, taking my hand again and leading me around the corner. The bedroom door stood ajar and she pushed it open to reveal the perfect fluffy bed. A California King on a thick, solid-looking wood frame that she set with new pillows and linens except for our old blanket. The whole room smelled of fabric softener and newness. Matching nightstands, a padded rocking chair, and pulled back curtains all coordinated with the decor.

  "This looks like heaven," I said.

  "It's our new bed. No more sleeping on the sofa."

  "Jilly, you're amazing to do all of this, you know that?" I said when she tugged me over to the bed. She hopped onto it and flopped back in an ungraceful sprawl. I joined her, though I couldn't take my eyes away from the room. The dark wood paneling gave it a cozy, protected feel that had me aching for the comfort of sleep. The bedroom, set so far away from the rest of the house, didn't echo like the other big rooms did, and it was so quiet.

  "I'm enjoying doing it. I'm enjoying being here."

  "I can tell." With her hair strewn across the bed, she was beautiful. She was always beautiful. "So am I. Because of you."

  "Well, I certainly wouldn't enjoy it by myself." She laughed at me and swatted my knee.

  "Hey." I laughed as well and she yanked me forward by my shirt to lean over her. I kissed her without hesitation and her fingers tangled in my hair. She rolled us over so that she was on top and kept me in the kiss the whole time.

  Her giant sweater fell away and she stripped off her shirt. Her bra followed and she dove back down to kiss me. I kept my hands still on her hips until she moved over to straddle my pelvis. She ended the kiss to gaze down at me and laced her fingers with mine.

  "Are you sure?" I asked her, barely above a whisper and she nodded.

  "It's been so long," she said, her eyes growing a bit glassy when she bit her lip.

  "Okay." I brought her hands to mine and kissed them. "Okay, but let's do this right and together." She watched me as I sat up, guiding her into my lap. Her hands already began to shake a bit with just the idea of it. "Come." I gestured to the pillows and she climbed off so we could unmake the bed. I pulled the sheets back, dimmed the lights, and we kissed in between every shift of movement.

  We stood beside the bed and helped undress each other the rest of the way. We kissed and she touched me, tentatively in some places, more firmly in others. I kept my hands focused on her hair and face until I slid my fingers down her elbow to take her hand, urging her into the bed. We lay facing each other, embracing and tangling our legs through the next kiss. Her body was soft and silky against mine, and her core burned fire against my thigh. I wanted nothing more than to touch her, to claim her, to erase all the damage her abuser caused.

  When our kiss ended and I rested my forehead against hers, she closed her eyes and the faint tremors in her body became more apparent. I kissed her nose and stroked her hair, loving on her the same way I used to.

  "I love you, Jilly," I whispered and she nodded, her lips pursing with the upsurge of emotion. "I love you and I'll never hurt you. You're my everything." The more I spoke, the more tearful she got though her trembling subsided. She seemed to hang on to every word that came out of my mouth as if they dripped sweetly and soothed her somehow. I ran my fingers through her hair and she shivered when my fingertips grazed the back of her neck. I leaned forward and kissed the shivery spots. She laughed softly and I smiled. "I have an idea," I said and she peeked up at me.

  "What?" Her question sounded husky with her arousal.

  "No hands at all." I wagged my brows and hers furrowed. "Trust me?"

  "Always."

  I nudged her shoulder with my forehead and she rolled onto her back. I moved over her, kissing her softly while she tucked my hair behind my ears. With my hands pressed into the mattress beside her, I broke the kiss to begin moving down her body. My lips met every line and curve of her jaw down to her neck. Her body arched toward me by the time I made it to her breasts. Her hands never left me, mostly staying tangled in my hair or touching my face. Pert pink nipples brushed my lips and her belly twitched against my chest. I laughed softly and she smiled, licking her lips as pleasure calmed her features. Only my lips and tongue touched her flesh. I left no part of her unattended and by the time I followed the trail to her bare core, she glistened eagerly for me.

  I licked and nipped her thighs, letting my hair tickle her stomach then her knees. Her toes dug into my calves and after barely any coaxing, she parted her legs welcomingly. My kisses led back to her center and by now her breaths left her in anticipatory puffs. Sweat beaded her brow and I knew she wanted this. Every part of her told me that I'd done this right. Heat burned between my thighs in a way that urged me onward and, when my lips met hers, she cried out softly and grabbed a fistful of my hair.

  "Jess," she called when I swirled my tongue around her folds, paying extra attention to her firm nub. Her hips rolled toward my lips and her body moved in ripples like water trickling over stones. She moaned when I dipped my tongue inside her then sent quick lashes across every inch of her. Again, cries left her and she bucked a little bit against my mouth. I took her and sucked softly on her clit, flicking my tongue over her faster without pause.

  Nails grazed my scalp, her body arched, and she exploded beneath me. Her orgasm erupted in an almost violent torrent, sending a rush of dampness from her to my lips. I took my time enjoying her, lapping at her in long luscious strokes. Her hands dropped to the bed and she pulled at the sheets as a second climax broke her. I let her down gently, kissing and nuzzling her folds until her body quelled and her breathing slowed. She put her hands in her hair and gasped heavily, but when she cooled, her gasps turned to sobs.

  I crawled up her body and wrapped her up in my arms as she cried. I expected this, her tears after sex. There was a quality of purging to them. Like her heart and mind released everything she held on to after her deepest pleasure. I cooed soft, loving words against her ear and she nodded her acknowledgement when I kissed her neck and shoulder.

  "I love you, baby. You're safe now. We're safe." She seemed to like hearing this the best because her tears calmed and her sobs quieted. We held on to each other until she reached between us and cupped my core in an almost possessive grab.

  "I love you," she whispered, though her crying kicked up again.

  "I know you do, Jilly. I know." I shifted positions and lifted her onto my lap. She wrapped herself around me and I pulled the blanket over her shoulders. Finally, as if I'd been somehow waiting for it, she clung to me, fully accepting me as something safe for her. And, in time, she began to relax.

  Sleep caught her after but I stayed awake. Occasionally I'd catch her waking up to check and see if I was still alert. I stood guard, like she did when I slept. It took me awhile to notice but I knew. I rubbed her back and ran my fingers through her hair. I fought the images that flooded my mind's eye when I thought for too long. I'd come to terms with what had happened to Jillian before we were together but after, I couldn't tolerate it. Just knowing what he did, seeing him do it. It haunted me more than the images of Graydon's death.

  If I hadn't already killed Nate, I'd hunt him and kill him with my father's Winchester.

  Graydon

  Jilly slept well into the next day and she was still in bed with me when I came to. She stroked my hair and smiled at me when I peeked up at her. I grabbed her hand and kissed her palm half a dozen times. She snuggled into me and her body, warm against mine, was less reserved than it had been previously.

  "How do you feel?" I asked her.

  "Better. A little scared," she said rather honestly.

  "What happened to you, baby?" I asked when she rested her chin on my chest. The question alone brought tears to her eyes. Silent ones that spilled on their own accord and salted her lips.

  "I didn't think it would happen again. After I left him and found you. I wasn't ready.
I wasn't prepared. It took him five minutes to control me again. To find my weakness and use it against me. This time it just happened to be you," she said, deliberately and calm. She hadn't spoken a word about any of it in all this time since it happened. "I'm glad you killed him." Her tone shifted from sad to angry. "I'm so glad. I never thought I'd be happy to say I watched someone die. I'm glad. Sometimes I feel bad that I'm glad but then I remind myself."

  "Me too. I've never killed anyone. A decade as a cop, no kill shots. I'm glad he was my first."

  "I thought of you every day, all day and night. When he hurt me, I closed my eyes and thought about your painting of the girl looking at the sky. It was like I was there and you could see me because we were there together," she continued and I let her. I just let her while I held her and stroked her hair. "This time, he hit me more than anything else. Made me dance more. I could handle that. He wasn't as strong. Pam was helpful. She was mean to him like he deserved and it made him hide away a lot."

  "Pam was a bitch, but I'm glad of it."

  "Me too. Dancing didn't bother me. I wasn't ever naked. The men like the stupid costumes more now than they used to," she said. I had to admit I was surprised at the amount of story she told. In all the time I knew her, she revealed information slowly over time. It seemed to burn for release today.

  "I noticed that, too. How long were you with him the last time? Before you spilled my coffee."

  Jilly laughed softly and nipped at my collarbone. "Not long. We dated for about two months before it got bad. Six months before I ran. But back then, I had nothing to lose. This time, he'd come for you." Her fingers tightened on my hip. "I'd kill him if he ever touched you."

  "I killed him because he touched you." I pressed my lips to her forehead while I fought to stay emotionally sound for her. "You don't have to be afraid anymore, baby."

  "You keep me safe," she said, settling down again and squeezing me gently.

  "Always."

  ***

  "Don't be freaked out." Jilly laughed at me as we walked through the woods. "We won't get lost. It's only one trail."