Milk Money

by Cecelia Dowdy

  “There’s nothing anybody can do to make me feel better.” They returned to the table as she continued to speak. “You know, I feel like such a loser.”

  “Why?” asked Kelly.

  “I loved my dad and I miss him, but I seem to be the only one in my family who’s taking his death so hard.” She gestured toward the phone. “When I talk to Laura, she sounds happier than she was here at the farm. It almost makes me wonder if she’s planning on never coming back.”

  Kelly slapped Emily’s arm. “Stop saying such nonsense. She’ll come home. I’m sure a change of scenery is helping her deal with her grief. What about your sister?”

  “You know I only hear from Sarah when she needs something. Since she doesn’t live nearby, it’s not like I can just drop by her house and commiserate about Dad.”

  Christine sighed. “Emily, you can always call your sister. I’m sure she’d find the time to talk to you. Besides, you don’t know how Sarah is dealing with your father’s death.”

  Emily shook her head before changing the subject. “You know, I was cleaning up earlier, and I found a stack of programs from my dad’s funeral service. Remember my cousin Monica?”

  Christine nodded. “Yeah, she’s the woman who just got married a year ago and lives on the Eastern shore. I remember she’s older than we are. One summer when she was staying at your farm, she drove all three of us to Baltimore to go to the movies.”

  “Well, remember she was at the funeral with her new husband?” Kelly nodded.

  “She scribbled her new phone number on one of the programs and told me to call her if I needed anything.” Kelly shrugged. “Have you called her?”

  “No, I figured she wouldn’t want to hear from me.”

  “Why?” asked Christine.

  “You know how people are at funerals. They always say call me if you need anything, and half the time they don’t really mean it.”

  Kelly snorted. “And half the time they do. You should call your cousin.”

  “I still might give her a call to talk. She used to like visiting here when she was younger. Maybe I can invite her and her new husband to come over sometime.”

  “That sounds like a good idea. You can give her a call in the meantime,” commented Kelly, scraping the last of the ice cream from the container. Once she ate the last bite, she smiled warmly.

  “I can’t believe you ate that whole carton of ice cream,” said Emily.

  Kelly nodded. “I did, and now I feel so much better.”

  A cow bellowed from the barn. “Frank and I went to the auction today; then we went to dinner afterward because we were hungry.” Since Christine didn’t know, Emily explained how Frank had helped her with a breach birth.

  “Maybe you can invite him to church and try to convert him,” suggested Christine.

  “Convert him?”

  “Yeah, invite him to church and share the gospel with him. Maybe he’s bitter about something and mad at God.”

  “Do you really think I should ask him to visit our church?”

  “Yeah, of course. What do you think God would want you to do?” asked Christine.

  Emily silently thought about Kelly’s and Christine’s advice.

  Kelly patted her full stomach. “Isn’t it a shame? Another good-looking man wasted? All three of us are twenty-eight, and it looks like we’ll never find husbands.” She gazed at Emily. “Do you remember what you used to tell me when we were teenagers? You used to daydream about your ideal husband.”

  Emily grinned, recalling those times. “Yes, I used to say that my husband would be living on the farm with me, and we’d be working side by side, taking care of the cows, raising kids together.”

  Kelly continued. “Well, I’m wondering if any of us is ever going to find a husband. You haven’t been serious about anybody since you broke up with Jamal a year ago. You haven’t even been on a date since.”

  Before Kelly and Christine took their exit, the three women joined hands and prayed for one another.

  Frank pulled into the liquor store parking lot. He sat in the car for a few minutes, digesting all that had happened that day. He’d struggled all day and all evening about asking Emily out on a date. He was attracted to her, and even though he was upset with her decision about not spending time with him, he couldn’t really blame her for her choice. He respected that she stuck with her beliefs, and he felt he needed to make more of an effort to put her out of his mind. When they were sitting on her porch, he had suddenly realized this was the first day in a long time that he hadn’t thought about Julie. It was that thought that had bolstered him to ask her on a date.

  Her refusal of his invitation was probably for the best. They were definitely not suited for one another. He exited his car, and his cell phone vibrated in his pocket as he entered the establishment. He flipped his phone open and walked toward the shelf that displayed his favorite scotch. “What do you want, Trish?” The sound of his sister crying made him stop. He softened his voice. “What’s wrong?”

  “Frank, it’s Mark.”

  His heart skipped a beat. “Did he get hurt?” he asked hurriedly.

  She sniffed. “No, nothing like that.” In a tearful voice, she told her brother that Mark had met some friends that day to go to the movies. Afterward they went to a store nearby, and they were caught shoplifting. “The security guard called me, and I had to go get him.” She continued to cry. “Frank, I don’t know what to do with my son. He’s been so angry since his father left.”

  “Did you want me to talk to him?”

  “No, he’s in bed now.” She paused for a few seconds. “I wanted to ask if you can come down one weekend soon and spend some time with Mark. His father was supposed to come and visit the last two weekends, but he didn’t show up. Mark’s gotten worse since his father has stood him up.” She choked on a sob. “I’ll understand if you can’t come.”

  “No, let me check my workload, and I’ll see if I can come down sometime soon.” He rang off with his sister as he lifted the bottle of scotch from the shelf.

  A few days later the screen door banged shut when Emily entered the house. Minutes passed and Frank figured she was changing out of her barn boots before she entered her home. He noted the late hour before she peeked into the room.

  He looked up, adjusting his glasses, when she entered. Tendrils of hair spilled from her ponytail, giving her an earthy, mussed appearance. “Frank, it’s almost nine o’clock.”

  He blinked, pulled his glasses off, and rubbed his eyes. “I know. Why are you just now coming in from the barn?”

  Sighing, she sat in a chair. “One of the cows was sick. I was just making sure she was okay. I think I’ll call the vet tomorrow.” She glanced around the office. “Why are you still here?”

  “I’m missing some of your father’s files.”

  She frowned. “What are you missing?”

  He explained which financial papers he was looking for. “I’m going to have trouble finishing my audit if I don’t find those papers.”

  “Well, I’m sure they’re around here someplace.” She stood and pulled out a drawer in one of the filing cabinets. “Have you looked in here?”

  He nodded. “There’s a few filing cabinets in the other corner that are locked. I didn’t know where the key was.”

  Emily lifted a bright yellow mug from the desk and dumped the contents. Frank helped her sift through the mess, and his fingers brushed against hers. Warmth traveled over his hand. She spotted the key. “Here it is.”

  She rushed to the cabinet, placing the key into the hole. A soft click sounded as she unlocked the drawer. She pulled, but it failed to open. “Frank, I think it’s stuck,” she gasped, still trying to open the drawer.

  He rushed to her side. Together they opened the drawer, and folders tumbled onto the floor. He whistled softly, gazing at the papers. “Your father sure does keep a lot of stuff around.”

  Nodding, she massaged her neck, and he wondered if she was tired from a long day
of work. “I hardly spent any time in this office. I don’t really know what’s in here.” Pulling out one of the folders, she flipped it open, finding notes written in pencil. “This makes no sense to me. It’s just a bunch of numbers.”

  He glanced at the notes and frowned. “Well, whatever this is, it’s not what we’re looking for.” He glanced at the cabinet again. “But we might need to go through this whole cabinet to find the papers we need.”

  “Maybe we should do this another time. I don’t feel like looking through this stuff right now. It’s late.”

  Changing the subject, he pulled a family photograph off her father’s desk. “Is this your stepmother and your sister?”

  She nodded, glancing at the picture. Emily looked like she was about eighteen in the photo. “Yes, I think I was telling you about my sister when we had dinner at the pizza place.”

  He sat, still looking at the photo. “Why do you look so upset in this picture?”

  “Because my father had just gotten remarried, and I was not eager to have a new female in this house. That picture was taken right before my sister, Sarah, left home. That’s why you see her smiling. She was getting ready to leave the farm, and she was relieved because she always hated it.”

  “Were you angry that your sister left?”

  She shrugged, glancing around the cluttered office. “It worked out okay. I love it here, and I don’t mind being the only sister left behind to take care of the family business.”

  “Do you talk to your sister often?”

  “Not really.”

  “Do the two of you get along?”

  “It depends. Sometimes we do, and sometimes we don’t. She only calls me when she wants to borrow money.”

  “Really?” She nodded.

  “Does she usually pay you back?”

  “Sometimes she does. We were never really close even though we lived in the same house. My daddy used to say we were like oil and water.”

  “What happened to your real mother?”

  “She died of breast cancer when I was fifteen. Things were pretty rough out here on the farm when she passed.”

  “Things were rough because you were grieving?”

  “Sort of. Remember, I told you Sarah hated farming?”

  He nodded.

  “Well, when Mom died, she refused to do anything. She wouldn’t help out with the chores. She’d yell at my dad; she called me names.” She shook her head, looking away. “My dad had to ask our church if they knew about any type of counseling services he could use for Sarah.”

  He stared at her, wanting to take her into his arms and tell her he was sorry that she’d now lost both of her parents. Instead, he asked another question. “How did you deal with your grief when your mother died? It’s obvious that your sister turned rebellious.”

  “I spent most of my time in the barn or in the field with the cows, alone.” She folded her arms in front of her. “It was awful. It took me a long time to get over losing my mom.”

  “Sarah’s reaction reminds me of what my sister is going through now.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Remember I told you about her husband leaving?”

  “Yes, I remember.”

  He told her about Trish’s recent phone call and Mark’s rebellious behavior. “I have to find some time soon to go and see Mark. I miss him, and I want to do everything I can to make him feel better.”

  “I’m sorry your nephew is hurting so much.”

  “I’m sure my sister’s life would have been a lot better if she’d never married that guy.”

  “Frank, you don’t know that.”

  He gritted his teeth. “I never trusted him, and I tried to warn her, but she wouldn’t listen to me. Every boy needs a good, stable father at home, and it makes me mad that Mark and Regina’s dad doesn’t even seem to care.”

  “You really feel strongly about this, don’t you?”

  “Yes, it makes me upset when so many young boys are out there and they don’t have fathers to turn to.” He told her about the rec center in Chicago and the youth he used to mentor.

  Her dark eyes widened. “You used to mentor youth?” He nodded.

  “Have you done this since you’ve been in Maryland?”

  He shook his head, almost sorry he’d said as much as he had. He didn’t feel like going into the reasons why he’d stopped mentoring one year ago.

  Emily frowned as she looked away.

  “What’s the matter?” he asked.

  “Nothing. I was just thinking about something.”

  He looked at the bulging pile of paper, no longer wanting to talk about his sister and his activities in Chicago. “We have tons of stuff to go through. I hope we can find everything I need.”

  “How is the audit coming along so far? I’m sure my father’s financial records are in good order.”

  “I can’t comment until I’m finished. Do you understand everything we’ve been going through together? Are you having any problems with the financial software I showed you how to use?”

  She frowned. “I think I understand, sort of.” She gestured around the office. “I’m still not used to handling all this. It’s a lot of information for me to remember.”

  “Either myself or somebody in the firm can always advise you about financial matters.”

  “People are always telling me and Laura that we should have gotten more involved in the finances of our farm, and I’m starting to see they were right.” She gave Frank a small smile. “But I’m just concerned about figuring out how this farm is doing and making sure we can continue the routine you’ve taught me during the last few days for our bookkeeping.”

  “Well, I still have to start a few audits at some other farms, and I’m at a standstill with your audit.” He opened his briefcase and removed a business card. He flipped it over, writing his information on the back. “I’m leaving my business card. My work number is on the front, and I’m writing my home number on the back. My e-mail address is listed there, too.” He pressed the card into her hand, relishing the warmth of her skin. He hesitated before pulling his hand away, still trying hard to ignore their attraction.

  He sat at the computer and opened a document, his leg jiggling. “Even though we’ve been through the whole budgeting and bookkeeping process together, I’ve still typed up notes for you and your stepmom about the accounting process for your farm. I tried to make the file easy for you to use.” He pressed a few keys on the keyboard. “Laura might need my detailed notes since she wasn’t here when I was teaching you everything.”

  “So you’re all finished?” He wished he could keep coming here each day, but being around Emily was torturous, knowing how she felt about his personal life and beliefs.

  He told her the truth. “No, not completely. I have some loose ends to tie up, but I can do those at the office. Remember those papers I was telling you about?”

  “Yes?”

  “Well, when you find those, I can complete the audit.” He glanced at the papers piled on the floor. “I don’t want to waste time searching for something since we charge by the hour.” He pulled a notebook from his briefcase. “I’m going to write down what I’m looking for.” He scribbled the information, sensing Emily watching him the entire time. When he was finished, he pointed to the last two items. “I can’t find your father’s tax returns for the last couple of years.”

  Her mouth dropped open. “I know he filed his taxes—” He touched her arm, and she calmed down. “I know he did. When I was going through his bank statements, I could see the direct deposits in his account from the IRS tax refund. But it’ll still help me out if I could find those files.” He glanced around the office again. “I know they’re around here someplace.”

  “You want me to look for the things you have listed here?” He nodded. “Please. When you find them, I can come back out here and complete my job, or, if you prefer that I not come, you can scan and e-mail the files to my office.”

  Silence surroun
ded them, and Frank was at a loss for words. Since she’d had her conversation with him about his drinking and her religious beliefs, they’d continued working together in her father’s office, sometimes making small talk. The attraction he felt for her refused to go away, so maybe it was best that he not return to her home after all. She finally spoke. “I can probably scan them and e-mail them to you if it’s quicker. I don’t want to waste your time by making you come out here.” She tucked his card into her pocket and sat in the chair beside the filing cabinet, stacking the manila folders into a pile.

  Frank stood beside the computer, and his heart pitter-pattered. “It’s never a waste of time coming out here.” The urge to kiss her rushed through him, but Julie’s face hovered on the fringes of his mind. Emily dumped some folders into a box, mumbling about looking through them later. She picked up the container and walked into the kitchen, and Frank followed her, holding his briefcase and car keys. He wondered when he’d see her again. She placed the box on the table and walked him to the door. He stood on the porch and stared at Emily. Before he could stop himself, his lips brushed hers. She backed away, her pretty eyes widening.

  “I didn’t mean for that to happen,” he mumbled. Crickets chirped, and the scent of animals and hay wafted around them. Her mesmerizing eyes were beautiful when she looked at him. He stepped back into the kitchen and closed the door, not wanting to leave anything unsaid between them.

  “I’m sorry for kissing you,” he said. “I hope you’re not upset.”

  “Your lack of faith in God bothers me, Frank. Your drinking bothers me, too.” She walked to the window, gazing at the barn.

  “I know.” She glanced at him, her sullen expression making his heart ache. “My drinking’s been bothering me lately, too.” Lately he’d been drinking more alcohol at night to get a buzz, and Trish was still calling him all the time, telling him he needed to get help.

  She remained by the window, still looking at him. “Have you had a drink today?”