Withholding Secrets

by Diana Fisher

  “Hey now. You are a great girl, Sky.” The pit of my stomach fell onto the floor, not believing in her actions. Something was even more wrong than I thought. This had to go farther than Joe contacting her. Was she approached physically by him or someone else? Did someone try something with her that I wasn’t aware of?

  “No … I am … not … Keri!” Backing up to the counter, she wrapped her arms around her waist as she slid down to the floor, crying as hard as she could. “They all hate me!”

  The pain in her eyes hit me hard. Did the girls have a fight and I didn’t know about it? When would she ever be able to trust me? Not with the secret that she was keeping, but with herself. I wasn’t her real mother, but I was the one who got her out of the house when the break in happened. I clothed her and ran around with my goods in the open just to protect her. Didn’t she understand that? Didn’t she understand the lengths that I would go to keep her safe?

  “Sky, please. Talk to me.” Moving over to her, I sat next to her with my chest tightening even more. If she knew something, I needed her to tell me. I needed her to tell me now. “Look at me, Sky.”

  When she did, the cries came even harder and to the point where she could barely breathe. “Keri, she’s not talking to me.” Opening her arms, she wrapped them around me tightly and buried her face into my chest. “I called her yesterday and we talked. I had a bad dream and I just wanted to talk to her. She told me that some of the kids in class were making fun of me about you going after Mr. Donaldson. I told her that she was just jealous because she didn’t have a mom who cared for her like I did.”

  “Oh, Sky.” My heart dropped hard and fast. Ben had a horrible marriage and the woman was a selfish bitch, but we didn’t know how the woman really cared for her daughter. “We don’t know about that. I am sure Alicia’s mom—”

  “She won’t even talk to me now. She won’t, and it hurts so much. She was my only friend, Keri.”

  “I am sure that she’s just doing chores right now and she will talk to you.” Ben had a lot of acres to take care of, and animals to boot. The kids were probably doing chores. Ben was a stickler on getting work done before playing.

  “No. I hurt her feelings and I didn’t mean to. I was just mad that no one sees what you do for me. For all of us. You are so good to me and Jordan and Kane. No one sees that, Keri. And she was my only friend.”

  Tears came to my own eyes, and I just let her cry for a little longer. Rubbing her back, I chewed on my bottom lip. I had to fix this with Alicia and Sky, though I didn’t want to get involved in the girls’ argument. But, Sky was this upset over it, so maybe it would be best that I just actually check in on the situation at the other end. “How about we go over to Ben’s later and we will talk to her and let her know that you didn’t mean it? How would that be?”

  “She hates me, Keri. She hates me, and I don’t blame her. She told me that if my mom cared so much for me, then why did she give me away? Why did my mom do that to us? Why, Keri? Why would she hurt us like that when you have been nothing but good to us? Aren’t moms supposed to be like you? Aren’t they supposed to be like you and your mom?” Scooting closer, she rested her body against mine as she draped her slender legs over mine. Holding her to my chest, I just cradled her, wanting to cry, wanting to find their mother and beat the life out of her, too. But, then again, if their real mother was any kind of mother at all, I wouldn’t have Sky or Jordan. I never would have met Kane. And I certainly wouldn’t have the life I did.

  “Some aren’t good, Sky. Some aren’t like us. But, you have me now. I am here. I am yours, and you are mine. I would protect you with my life. Nothing would ever make me think differently. You are my whole life. I will never let anyone ever hurt you again.” Tears soaked my cheeks as I just held her as tight as I could. I knew what her fate was, and I would die to save her from that. I would risk my life before letting her into the hands of monsters again. “Sky, I love you so much. I love you. You’re my little girl. Mine, Sky. I will never let anyone ever hurt you again.”

  “It hurts so much. It hurts to know that she let him … Keri, she let him into my room. She let him touch me! She let him…”

  “Sky, never again. Never again will anyone ever touch you like that. Never. Do you hear me? They would have to kill me first, and I will not go down without a fight.” Pulling her onto my lap, I just held her tight in my arms, rocking her back and forth while trying to calm her down. The anger was swelling up inside my heart and gushing through my veins from just thinking about the man who had the audacity to do that to a little girl.

  “He touched me, Keri. He touched my places! He touched me where no one is supposed to.”

  “If I had known then, I never would have let anything ever happen to you. You are with me now, Sky. I would protect you with my life.” Tucking my face into her shoulder, I cried right along with her. This poor girl. My poor little girl. It was as if I could feel what she was feeling. It was sick. It was painful. It was so horrible to be under hands of a grown man when all you thought about were dolls and boys having cooties. It was disgusting. I could feel those hands on me. I could feel those…

  No! Stop, Keri! Don’t think about it. You are going to keep her safe. You are going to make sure that no one ever touches her again.

  “Keri?” Jordan’s voice hit me hard. Snapping my look up to his panic ridden face, my heart crashed. The laptop was in his arms as the fear was sinking deep into him. His black plain t-shirt was tight to his chest, and his green and black checked pants hung low on his hips. The dark hair was tousled, and it looked as if he had been pulling at it all morning.

  “What’s wrong, Jordan?” Wiping my tears, I held my arm tight around Sky, letting her just cry out her pain.

  Going to his knees, he crawled over to me as he held up the computer. “I need your help.” Whispering, the fear sunk in deeper as he curled up next to me. Putting his hand on Sky’s back, he cringed, hating the sight of her in so much deep hurt and pain. “I broke his computer.”

  “You broke his computer?”

  “Oh my God, Keri. I don’t know what I did. Please, help me fix it before he finds out. Please.” Putting it on the floor, he dug his hand deep into his hair and tugged as hard as he could. “I was just doing my report for English and I don’t know what happened. God, Keri. Please. Please. I can’t let him know that I broke it. I forgot to turn it off, but I was tired. He’s going to hate me. Please … please…”

  Grabbing his hand, I pulled him toward me. He didn’t do anything. I fried the damn hard drive on it. I was the reason, and…

  Oh no! I fried everything! I lost all his homework! “You didn’t do anything. I came down to check on you two and I went to shut it off and it was already messed up. Things happen.” What else could I tell him? I had to take the guilt off his shoulders somehow. But I just couldn’t tell him the truth of how the computer actually did break.

  “See?! I did break it. Please, don’t let him find out. Please…” Just as Jordan held it up, the color drained from his face.

  “Find out, what?” Kane’s deep voice rumbled through the kitchen as his eyes shot down at the computer. His jaw tightened as his eyes roamed over the scene. Yes, there was a mess, but my kids were in the process of freaking the hell out. I didn’t care about any spilled milk. Not when these two were having breakdowns. Well, one of them was already there.

  “The computer is broken. I used it last night. I just wanted to check my emails at work, and I don’t know what happened.” Tilting my chin up, I took complete blame for the damn thing. I was the reason after all, wasn’t I? I was the one that fried it … on purpose. I had to.

  “I don’t give a shit about that, Keri! I want to know what the hell is going on in here!” His eyes shot down to Sky, who started to cry even more. Those bright greens softened as he ran a hand over his tight jaw. “This is what I need to know about. I don’t give a shit about anything else!”

  Reaching down, he picked up the laptop and tossed it
onto the table without a care in the world. Taking a knee in front of us, his eyes scanned over the three of us again, causing Jordan to tighten up under my arm and Sky cry harder yet.

  “Would you just calm the hell down? I knocked the bowl off on the floor and I will clean it up! I will get you a new damn computer! God! Just—” My blood heated and gushed through my veins.

  “Really, Keri? You think that I am pissed about a mess in my kitchen and a broken computer? I don’t give a shit! What I do give a shit about is my family in the kitchen, crying! This is my family! Mine! How the hell do you think that I am going to be when he’s scared shitless and she’s crying to the point where she can’t breathe? And you are crying, too! It is my job to take care of my family, and look! Look at this! How can I not be pissed about you three on the floor in the kitchen, crying?” Without thinking, his hands scooped Sky up, lifting her away from me. A loud gasp spilled from me as I watched him take her to his chest like a little girl in the arms of her protective father. “Sky, it’s okay. We are right here. It’s okay, honey. You’re safe and no one will ever hurt you, sweetheart.”

  Her arms wrapped around his neck, burying her face into his shoulder. “I love you, Coach Kane.”

  “Don’t ever be scared to come and talk to us, sweetie. That’s what we are here for. We are here to protect you and keep you safe.” Standing up with her clinging tight to him, he motioned for us to come to him.

  Jordan got to his feet first, helping me up. The instant that we were standing, Kane’s arm gathered us tight to him. We all just stood there, together, under his arm, and Sky wrapped around him as if he was a dad holding his little girl that had a broken heart. How perfect could this guy be?

  “I want you three to get cleaned up, and then we will go and pick out a new laptop.” His eyes shifted over to Jordan as a smirk came to his face. “As long as you take it easy on this one. Damn. Shouldn’t you be plopped down in front of video games or something instead of always working on homework?”

  “I just like studying.” Jordan chuckled a little as his cheeks darkened. “I just want you both to be proud of me.”

  “We are. We really are, Jordan.” Wrapping my arms around him, I smiled as my heart shattered even more. If he ever found out what his father was up to, it would damage him even more. I couldn’t stand the thought of both my kids getting hurt ever again. Maybe I would have Kane put his watchers on them both, but they would have to be hidden.

  “So, now, with someone’s birthday coming up, we need to sit down and talk about what you want, Sky.” Taking her to the island table, he sat her on the top of it and dried her tears carefully with a napkin. “What do you want to do? What do you want?”

  “I have everything that I want, Coach Kane. I have everything that I ever wanted.” Her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him close again. “I always dreamed of a family like this, and now, I have it. How can I want anything more? I have everything I want. My dream came true.”

  Kane cleared his throat as his eyes drifted up to mine. The glass over them made my body heat up. Was he really tearing up? Were those tears in his eyes?

  And this moment would be one I would cherish the rest of my life. Getting Kane to sign some custody forms was my only way to secure their future. But how?

  Chapter 26

  It wasn’t easy, but I broke my phone. How? Blame it on doing dishes and accidently dropping it into the sink. With so much on my mind at work, how could I not be flustered? And it was only Monday. My mind was on the other crap at hand, like my little girl’s safety. I had a week to crack this and figure out how I was going to stop everything. If these guys thought they were going to get any more girls, they were thinking wrong. Even if it wasn’t mine, they weren’t going to get another one to replace her.

  Just like the great man that Kane was, he bought me a new phone. I needed one in case the kids needed something or he wanted to call and check up on me. And now, he was more protective than before. I knew that he had his security team on the kids. I spotted them right away. Was I upset? Hell no. Did he tell me that he had someone watching over Sky and Jordan? Hell no. Was I going to hound him about it? Hell no. I just hoped that he didn’t have any on me.

  After work on Tuesday, I went straight to the rink where Jordan and Sky were on the ice with Kane. He knocked the puck over to Sky, letting her take it to the goal. Jordan was skating backward, taunting her and teasing her a little, but he was giving her a chance.

  “There is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.” Kane’s voice shot through the arena, jumping my heart into overdrive. Gliding up to the wall, he pointed at me and sent me one of his sexy smiles. “Why don’t you just put on a pair of skates and join us?”

  Looking over my black skirt and stockings, I shook my head. Not to count that I was better at watching than playing. No. I had other things that I needed to do, and my time was running out. Still, I had no idea who the unknown source was. And Sky … I had to make sure that she was being watched every second. Every damn second, without alarming Kane.

  “You’re right. Should we call it a night and get home?” Reaching over the boards, he pressed his lips to my forehead before pushing off the ice to glide over to the kids.

  I swallowed hard, but the heavy lump grew thicker and saltier. What the hell was wrong with me? For once, I found a great man, a really great one, and I had to deceive him, lie to him, and use him. I couldn’t do that to him. I just had to come clean and tell him everything. This was far beyond my control. I was lying to the people who loved me the most and trusted me the most. Losing those kids, their trust, I just couldn’t risk it. If he had the means to keep Sky safe, then I just had to let him and hope that he didn’t turn me in for my felonies.

  Pulling the kids off the ice, they laughed as they switched their skates to their shoes and Kane managed to plaster the love all over his face. His green eyes shifted over to me, and I could see the spark of curiosity in them. He was onto me. He knew that I was keeping something from him, but he didn’t know just how bad this actually was.

  Just as we got out to the vehicles, Kane pointed at Sky and smiled. “You did great out there. I am proud of you.”

  “It’s all a numbers game. That’s what Keri said. I just used it.” Her dark eyes twinkled as she looked over to me. How was that not heartbreaking? The trust that she had in me … and I was going to be the one that deceived and lied to her the most. I just hated myself even more. I would just have to come clean to Kane for her sake. Her trust was the most fragile, and the one that would cost me everything if I lost it.

  “When Alicia comes back to school, I will talk to her, Sky. I am sure that she’s—” Jordan straightened up and gathered together all of the skates.

  My heart stopped hard taking my breath with it. Alicia hadn’t been in school for the past two days? After their argument and what Sky said, I was sure that it was just a little fight with the girls. But for two days? Ben wouldn’t let her out of school for two days. Unless she was sick. Maybe she was just sick. There was a blonde haired girl in that split photo that I had seen, but I couldn’t make her out. Sky, on the other hand, was clear as day.

  “You haven’t talked to her?” Looking at Sky and those sad eyes, I knew that it was still getting to her. For everything that the girl had gone through, she had the biggest heart of them all. Last night, she crawled in bed with me after a nightmare, and I didn’t have the heart to send her back to her room. All night, she stayed cuddled right tight to me, too. A few times, I felt her shaking as if having another one, but she just said my name and it was over with. When the second one hit her, she called out my name and cried a little, but then it was over just like that again.

  I was a monster. I was horrible for doing and knowing what I did. How could I not trust Kane with this? I should have gone to him in the first place. I should have told him what I found out and let him take care of the rest.

  “No. She won’t answer any of my calls or texts.” Falling into my arms,
she pressed her face to my chest and sighed heavily. “I just wanted to tell her that I was sorry for what I said.”

  “Go home with Kane and I will be there later. I am going to talk to Ben, and I will talk to her. Don’t worry, Sky. I will let her know how sorry you are.” Passing the girl off to Kane, my chest tightened as my stomach rolled over. What if the other girl in the photo was Alicia? Oh god! What if they had gotten her already? I had to talk to Ben. I had to see.

  No. She wouldn’t be missing. Ben would have called me right away if she was. He would have let Kane and I know if Alicia was missing.

  “Keri!” Kane’s voice shouted out after me, but I had to ignore it.

  This was Alicia, Ben’s daughter, and I had to just find out for myself. I had to know. I needed to see her, and I didn’t care if I had to go over to their mother’s to check on her. Ben was my friend. Ben was the one who stood for Jordan and Sky about that last fight.

  Getting into my car, I turned it on and pulled out fast, leaving Kane standing there with his mouth hanging open. If Alicia was missing and I was the reason, if she was picked up and I hadn’t done anything about it, it would change everything. If they had her, I would just have to find her. I would have to plant myself in there to get her out.

  Pulling into the long dirt driveway, I hadn’t seen a sight of anyone. Not a soul. If she was missing and it was my fault, I would have to take my own life before the guilt would. Ben was a damn good person, and so were his kids. I texted him and told him to keep an eye on Alicia, but all I got back was an ‘all the time’ and that was it. What if they had taken her and he didn’t know yet? He would go absolutely insane. Just like me, he lived for his kids.

  Jumping out, I ran up to the house and beat on the door. Nothing. Not a damn person was home. Running down to the barn, I beat on the door down there before I realized that it actually opened. No one was in there either. Walking back out, I just screamed his name, hoping that he was near.