Withholding Secrets

by Diana Fisher

  “Kane, please…” That cut ten times deeper. I didn’t want to hear her beg me to walk out and never look back. I didn’t want that. I wanted her to beg me to forgive her. I wanted her to beg me to come back.

  I wanted my Keri back. This … this wasn’t the woman I had fallen so hard for. She had been pulling away all week, and I just couldn’t take any more of it. She knew that she could talk to me about anything, but there was something going on that she wasn’t telling me. There was something that was bringing her to this besides Alicia’s disappearance.

  If those two kids would ever forgive her for wanting to run away, I never would. I wouldn’t for the simple fact that I fell in love with the smart mouthed, crayon throwing woman who would do anything to keep those two. Seeing this side of her was killing every cell in my body. It absolutely killed me that she wanted to just walk away.

  “Seven, two, four, three. You’re getting what you want. We are walking away, and for your sake, I hope those kids aren’t going to hate you for this. You do love them, and I know that you do. But, as you wish. We are walking away.” The pain weighed on my chest so much that my eyes were burning with the tears ready and on the edge of rolling down my face.

  Love them and leave them, right? Wasn’t that how I was before my life was flipped upside down? The pain that I sustained with my birth parents wasn’t anything to the pain that I was experiencing now. Losing Keri was the hardest thing that I would ever face in my life. Losing Keri was going to devastate those two kids who loved her so much. How could I tell them that Keri wanted us to walk away?

  Chapter 28

  There were only minutes that I had available. Minutes, because of my break-in. Last night, I cried so hard while having the house to myself, but it was for the best. It was what I had to do. A mother would do anything to protect the ones that she had loved, right? That was what my mom always told me, and she was right. I had to do everything I could to protect the three of them.

  Kane never would touch Sky in any way other than fatherly. The best father at that. He loved both of them as if they were his own. I could tell every time that he looked at them, when he talked to them, and when he was alone with them. And they loved him just as much. Someday, I hoped they all could forgive me for doing what I had to do. Risking Kane being involved in this was the only reason why I had to send him away. I needed him to go away before I ruined my life for good. If I didn’t wind up dead, I would be in prison, and I wanted to have him completely out of the picture.

  He was the one man I trusted with Jordan and Sky. He would do anything to keep them safe, and he had the means to also. I know that he had his security and private detectives searching for Alicia. Don’t ask me how I knew all of this, but we will just chalk it up to “It’s all a numbers game”. That was what I was teaching Sky. I just hoped like hell that, if needed, she would be able to understand anything that I left her.

  Let’s just say that I had been committing so many crimes that if I were traced, those girls had no hopes of ever seeing their families again. Apparently, leaving it to the cops and the FBI wasn’t helping. When it came down to my little Sky, my sweet and innocent little girl who was the next target, I had to do this. I had to do this for her. And for Alicia, who was already in their hands.

  As I went through the information on the screen of my boss’s computer, I sucked in a breath taking in the information I knew on Mr. George. This couldn’t be right. This wasn’t right. No. This had to be a mistake. I must have typed the name in wrong.

  Melinda George didn’t exist. Well, not around here anyway. There were a few Melinda Georges, but the ages didn’t add up. One was in her eighties, and the other was twelve. Nothing was coming up as Justin George’s dead spouse, or a spouse at all. Maybe they weren’t married, but he clearly said his “wife”.

  Looking at the picture on the corner of his desk again, my heart flipped in my chest. The girl looked so familiar. It was like I had seen her before, come to think of it. Her eyes were shiny and bright, a pretty hazel with flecks of gold in them. Her smile, a big grin with the large front teeth. Couldn’t be no more than ten, eleven at the most. But the photo was strangely familiar.

  Picking up the brass frame, I swallowed hard as I carefully pried the back off it. Taking the thin paper out, my gut clenched hard. It was a photo stores used to enhance the frames. Just an advertisement with a heart taped over the barcode. How could I not see that? It was a fake photo. Mr. George wasn’t married, and he didn’t have a daughter. He was a liar!

  Turning back to the computer, I typed his name into the search and waited. At work where all the computers were monitored? Yes, I was there. Yes. I was performing illegal acts … again, and breaking and entering was adding to the list now. At least this, Kane wouldn’t be looked at. Nope. It would be on that liar’s hands if traces were ever found.

  But why lie about something like that? What was he covering up? He was good, though. Damn good. That worry he had about the missing girls, telling me to make sure that I kept a good eye on my own daughter…

  It was him! He was the one who was watching her!

  As the next article popped up, my worry diminished and the anger was pooling into my blood. He had been arrested a few years back for sex with a minor and the charges were dropped. Why were they dropped, though? I had to find out now. I had to know. That was already a must, but first things first. I needed to break through to find out who Joe was talking to. Once I cracked that and had everything in line, I would be able to slip into the place of Sky and take them all down.

  Please forgive me for sinning again. I know that I had said that I wouldn’t do it again, but I had to, and this could be tricky. This would surely get me thrown in prison for the rest of my life. Please, have mercy on my soul. All of this was for a good reason. This was to keep my little girl out of the hands of another monster, and that monster was my boss.

  Hacking into files, I held my breath. I knew what the time limit would be before a trace would begin, and it was a matter of minutes. Just a small fraction of time that I had in order to see what the case and the charges were. As the screen opened, I counted in my head as I quickly read over the police report.

  I froze. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t count. I couldn’t…

  Oh, god! It was him! It was my boss! He had been caught with a minor … a thirteen-year-old! The charges were dropped because the parents had backed down, but why? Why did they back down? Why did they drop the charges on that bastard?

  The screen flickered a little, but I escaped before the system alerted the FBI. What in the hell did I do now? It had to be him. He had known I had a daughter, a young one and the age that he apparently liked. Something still wasn’t adding up. Something wasn’t right about the whole report. Yes; he admitted that he had the girl at his house and he hugged her, but that was all. That was all that sent that little girl into a flying, crying fit? I don’t think so. He did more than that. He just wasn’t caught with his pants down.

  Going through some more hacking, I found his accounts. Checking, credit cards, and savings. Damn! He had a lot of money hidden in a couple of accounts that I was able to trace. A lot of it, too! How could anyone not know this? How could this not alert anyone? And charges to the same areas where the girls had gone missing.

  What in the hell? The FBI or the police couldn’t find this? What in the hell were they doing? This was the guy who was kidnapping those girls. This was him!

  This was the unknown source!

  And he would pay. He would pay for his sins. I would make sure of it. I would make sure that he did for Ben, for Alicia, and for all those girls. Just as I told Mr. Donaldson the day that he was harassing Sky, he messed with the wrong girl.

  If Kane thought that I was losing it, he hadn’t seen anything yet. He would see how far I would go to keep my kids safe. Taking that girl off the roof that night of the break in was nothing compared to what I was going to do. He may never forgive me for the things that I said to him the other
day, but I would make sure that he knew I loved Jordan and Sky as much as I did.

  He would forgive me. I know he would once he found out. He would take good care of them. He would make sure that they never got hurt again, and they were loved for being the greatest kids alive. He would give me that. I know that he would. He loved me that much, too.

  Being away from them was hard, harder than I imagined, but it was only to keep them safe. I was sure that Jordan and Sky were both hurting so much right now, but it was to keep them protected. It was to do everything I could to make sure that they were unharmed. If I went down and Kane had gone down, too, and then what? Then where would they be? In the hands of someone who wouldn’t give a damn about them?

  I had to do this alone. Those two needed him, and he would take good care of them. I just wished that I could see them grow up. I wished that I could be there when Jordan graduated from college, and when Sky walked down the aisle to give her heart to someone who deserved it. Maybe I would be, but in spirit. There would be no way that I would ever survive this. What I was about to do. I had to give my life to them.

  Looking at the clock, I let out my breath as I nodded. It was time. It was time to begin the destruction that was going to end my life. This time, I wasn’t just destroying one computer, but the whole office. It was the only way I could cover up everything. Closing my eyes, my fingers hovered over the buttons. The ones that would end my fate. It was now that everything would be the beginning of the end for me.

  Pulling my fingers away, I shook my head as tears blistered my eyes. I had to see. I had to make sure. Going through the backdoor ways, I managed to wiggle my way into Joe’s system and shift through the files there. Ten seconds…

  There were a lot.

  Nine…

  One caught my eye. One marked J.G.

  Eight…

  Opening it, I looked through the numbers.

  Seven…

  Account numbers.

  Six…

  Justin George’s account numbers.

  Five…

  He was involved. He was my unknown source. He had to be.

  Four…

  No! But why else would Joe have his account numbers?

  Three…

  He was involved, but there was someone else. There had to be someone else involved. Mr. George was just a buyer. Not the leader.

  Two…

  Black. The computer was completely black. Tipping my head, my chest collapsed on itself as I gasped for some air. Releasing my fingers on the buttons, the gust of hot springs leaked from my eyes and I wanted to scream. I wanted to … throw up.

  Pushing away from his desk, I put the photo back together and placed it in the exact same spot that it was in. Correcting everything, my final step in clearing me was to wipe my prints off the computer. Of course, they would be his, too, but at least mine weren’t on there. I had a few minutes before people started to show up.

  Damn go-getters. Who in the hell loved their job that much? I sure in the hell didn’t, but it paid the bills and I was damn good at it. Other than that, I hated it.

  Covering every track that I left, I counted everything. Every damn thing on my way out. Now, it was onto the store, then to see my kids and Kane from a distance. I had to. I had a letter written already, and my words on the paper which would give Kane my custody of the kids if anything should happen to me. It was going to happen to me, and there was no way to change it. I told those three that I would give my life before I would let anyone else hurt any one of them. I meant it. I meant every word that I said. I even had it legalized, too. Talk about smart, and so very wrong. I was going to hell, for sure, for all the crimes I’d committed.

  I locked back up and drove over to the rink. Saturday … game day … the first game that I would miss. But, I couldn’t miss it. It would be the last one that I would be able to see, and I had to cherish that. My mom had her life taken away in a second without a chance to at least cherish the things that she loved the most. I was going to have that one last chance. I was taking that at least.

  Sitting in the parking lot, I let my head rest back as the hot tears came. How could I go in there and see them one last time? How could I look at them, knowing that would be the last time that I would ever get to? I just wanted to let them know that I was so sorry for hurting them, but it was to protect them. It was because I loved them so much.

  As I stayed in the shadows, I looked through the crowd at our spot, Ben and mine, with the girls perched on the bench right below us. The bench was vacant, but I would make sure that it would be filled with them again. With Alicia and Sky, and Ben watching over them as Andrew and Jordan played their hearts out in the game they both loved.

  I just had to make sure that I left a damn good clue for Sky and hoped that she could decipher it. That was my only hope to save Alicia and whoever else, and to keep Sky from having to look over her shoulder constantly and not be afraid to live her life. She deserved that. She deserved to be happy. To live in a world that was full of freedom and not fear. Call it a birthday present.

  There she was in the team box with Kane, close to Kane’s side, wearing that red jacket that he had given her the first time that we went to the rink. Her arms were wrapped tight to her body as the tears housed in her eyes. She was hurting. She was in so much pain in her heart; pain that I caused. I just wondered what Kane told them.

  His arm went around her shoulders as he pulled her close to him. Kissing the top of her head, he closed his eyes while feeling the same pain. I just hoped that I didn’t damage them for good, but I knew that they were strong. As long as they had each other, they would make it through this.

  When the team emerged from the locker room, I knew that it was my chance. I had to get into Kane’s office and get what I needed. With the game starting, it was the perfect time before the watchers stirred and used the bathrooms. The beginning of the game was when no one moved … and the only chance that I had.

  Going to the door, I picked the lock and slipped in before anyone came by. Taking in a deep breath of air that was thick with Kane’s cologne and stale, icy air, my heart slowly sank into the empty pit. How I missed the soft linger of his cologne. I missed his arms. I missed him. Breaking his heart was never an option, but he would understand. That was why I had given him the two people who I loved more than life itself. Nothing was a better gift than that.

  My fingers curled around the very thing that I was after. Just as I figured, it was right there. It was right in the spot that I knew it would be.

  It was the final step for my plan, and now, it was just waiting until the right time. And that right time would be coming fast. It would be the last time that I ever saw my family again.

  To save a little girl who meant the world to me, I would give her my life. Nothing was going to stop me. My words to her were over my dead body, and I was going to see that she knew what she meant to me. It would be my dead body that brought those bastards to their end.

  Chapter 29

  As I sat on the edge of the bed, I ran my fingers through my black hair, realizing just how long it had gotten. But nothing meant a damn thing anymore. Walking out on Keri was killing me more than I figured it would, but it was what she wanted and what she begged me to do. Walking out that door not only took my stomach away, but it gripped hold of my heart and mangled it until it couldn’t beat anymore.

  I hated being at my parents’ place. I hated being there with them. Jordan and Sky were feeling it, too. I hadn’t told them anything. How could I tell them that Keri wanted to leave us? How could I look them in the eye and tell them that she wanted out of all of our lives?

  “Kane?” Jordan’s soft voice drifted through the darkness as the floor creaked a little under his weight. The way that he played today, I couldn’t have been more proud. With all the crap, he still went out there and really gave it his all. And not having Andrew there was hard on him. Andrew and him were a team on the ice. Having those two together made them unstoppable. Tonight,
though, his emotions were scattered all over inside of him, yet he stepped up to help me and his sister out with whatever he could. “Can I talk to you?”

  “Yeah. Come in.” Sucking back my pain, I straightened up. If there was one thing that Keri taught me, it was how to be strong and when to be strong. She waited all that time with that gash in her leg and taking the chance for infection before she would allow herself to take a shower. Now, I had to try to be that strong for the two she left in my care.

  “Keri’s not coming back, is she?” His voice cracked even though he tried his best to keep the pain inside. When I first met him, the chip was taking up both of his shoulders and he hated the world for their existence. Now, he learned how to laugh, how to allow himself to love the thrill of hockey, and how to open his heart to another adult. All because of the woman who ended up walking out of our lives. “Why did she walk out on us?”

  “She didn’t—” Bitterness filled into my throat and dried my mouth.

  “Don’t lie to me, Kane. She did, but why? Why would she when she loved us so much?” Taking a seat next to me, he sobbed a little as he cursed under his breath. That swear word … I would just let him get away with it. He was hurting, and it was to the point that he was actually crying. Him. A fifteen-year-old boy. My heart dropped onto the floor, leaving nothing more inside of me witnessing the devastation Jordan was facing at the moment. “She loved us, Kane. All of us. She said that we were the best things to ever come out of that marriage. Why would she walk out on us?”

  “I don’t know.” How could this not hurt any more than it already did? I never would have imagined that I would be in this spot, this pain over a woman loving me and then leaving like Keri did. But, it was Keri. And she was my everything. Everything was gone, because she pulled the rug out from under me and there wasn’t a damn thing to grab hold of. “I really don’t know.”