Awakening

by Hayes, Olivia

  "It's fine. Nothing to hide," he assured me, crossing the room and sliding one arm around my waist. He took the photo from my hand. "We were in Atlanta visiting Emily. She was finishing up her freshman year at Emory, and we decided to surprise her for her birthday. It was the last time we were all together as a family, but it was a great visit." He put the picture back on the desk.

  Drying the last of my tears, I nodded my head.

  "Ready to go?" He asked, stepping back and offering his hand.

  "Yes, let's go," I said, linking my fingers through his like we always did when we were younger.

  ~~~~

  We drove about 20 minutes north and turned onto a tree lined dirt road. It was bumpy, but someone had been trying to maintain it by filling in the holes with gravel. After about two miles we emerged from the woods onto a causeway.

  "The river snakes around through here. In spring when the tides are really high, the water will cover the road for hours," Luke told me.

  We kept going for another mile or so until we re-entered the trees. Then we pulled up to a small cabin and parked the truck.

  "This is my family's land. It was my great-grandfather's before he passed it to my father. I've spent a lot of time out here, fishing from the dock and watching the sun rise." He climbed out of the truck and walked around to open my door and help me down. "Go on in, I'll be there in second, I just want to grab the cooler and bag I brought."

  I walked to the door of the cabin and opened it. Inside there was a rough plumbed sink with a mini fridge, an old rickety table with mismatched chairs and a cot. Nets, buoys and fenders hung from the walls. There was an oval braided rug in front of the brick fireplace and a small worn out loveseat. To the right of the fireplace was a door. I opened it to find a bathroom that was more like a closet. There was a tiny toilet and another sink, which both looked to have seen better days, but they seemed clean and functional.

  To the left of the fireplace was another door. This one led to a small screened porch with two old wicker rockers. Beyond the porch I could see a dock with a boat.

  "Hey, there you are," said Luke, sliding his arms around my waist and pulling my back into his chest. "Ready for some fun?"

  I leaned into him and nodded my head. He opened the screen door and I stepped onto the cinderblock steps and to the ground. We walked in silence down the dock. The river was calm as the tide was going out; the smell of marsh grass filling my nose. Luke jumped onto the boat with ease, putting his cooler and bag down in the corner, and turned to help me on.

  "I always wanted a boat like this. It was the first thing I bought once I could afford it," he told me, smiling fondly and running his hand over the center console.

  "It's really nice to have, considering how close you live to the water. How come you don't dock it at your house? Wouldn't that be easier?"

  "I suppose it would, but I'd need a dock then wouldn't I?" He grinned, sending butterflies to flight in my stomach.

  "You should build one!" I laughed.

  "I should. I bet we'd use it a lot." He smiled.

  My breath caught. Did he mean he and I would use it a lot?

  As he started the outboard motor, I helped him untie the ropes holding us to the dock, and pushed off. We cruised around for about an hour, Luke showing me the sights, and pointing out wildlife. We even saw a pod of porpoises breaching the surface. Once the tide reached dead low, Luke slowed the boat and pulled up on a sandbar, anchoring there.

  He jumped out of the boat and held his hand up for me to follow. "Come on, you have to see this," he said with school boy excitement.

  I took his hand and climbed down from the boat. A breeze had begun to blow, and I noticed how Luke's sheer white button up clung to his chest, revealing toned abs. I found myself thinking about running my hands under his shirt and feeling his warm skin against mine. He chose just that moment to turn and look at me and my face flamed. He slowed down, drawing me towards him and against his chest. "I really have missed you," he confessed.

  "I've missed you too Luke," I said as I inhaled his scent.

  "Look!" He said, excitedly.

  I raised my head up from his chest and saw thousands of tiny little crabs running across the sand. The whole sandbar looked as if it were alive. When I took a step, they moved out of the way, giving me a safe place to set my foot. It was amazing; I had never seen anything like it.

  "This is incredible. Where do they all come from?"

  "They live in the marsh, but they love to sun themselves. I think it's their way of exercising, all that running around."

  Luke laid down a blanket and we sat watching the crabs run for a while longer. Then he pulled out some turkey sandwiches and bottled water and we ate while reminiscing about our summers together. The sun and the salt air coupled with my previous night of drinking had me feeling a little sleepy. I adjusted my towel behind my head and pulled my hat over my eyes as Luke talked about growing up in South Carolina and spending a lot of time on the river with his dad and Mark.

  At some point we must have both dozed off. A loud crack of thunder startled me awake to see the water was almost covering the entire sandbar, except the spot where we were laying. The sky was dark and ominous and the wind felt cold on my skin.

  "Luke!" I shouted and he sat straight up taking in the scene.

  "Shit, the boat!" He yelled as he jumped up and ran across the sandbar, high stepping through the water. When it got too deep for him to run any farther he dove head first and swam the rest of the way. As he pulled himself up over the side of the boat and hauled the anchor in, I gathered up the remnants of our lunch and the blanket which was now soaked on all its edges from the tide that was rushing in.

  Luke guided the boat as close to me as he could without running aground and I waded out the rest of the way. Just as he was pulling me onboard huge rain drops began to fall. We had to take it slowly back to the dock because the wind was whipping the rain straight at the boat. Every drop felt like a tiny needle pricking my skin. By the time we arrived, tied the boat up and got into the cabin we were both soaking wet.

  I kicked my flip flops off and pulled off my tank top. Luke dragged the blanket off the cot to wrap around me and offered me a seat on the loveseat. The wind was now howling through the trees and we could hear the rain coming down in sheets on the tin roof.

  Luke grabbed some matches and lit the logs that were already set in the fireplace. Then he went into the bathroom and I heard him banging around a bit. He re-emerged with a bucket which he set on the floor by the kitchen to catch water coming through a leak in the roof.

  "I've been meaning to fix that," he muttered under his breath as I moved to sit on the floor near the fire. "Sorry about the weather. You know how these freak afternoon storms come when it's hot outside. There's no predicting when one will pop up."

  "It's totally fine. I had a great time today; it's been a real adventure!" I said smiling up at him reassuringly. He smiled and then shivered.

  "Why don't you take off that shirt and come sit with me by the fire?" I asked, making room for him on the rug. He peeled off his shirt and I finally got a look at his bare upper body.

  Toned was an understatement. Beautiful didn't do him justice. He was exquisite. His broad chest and shoulders were like velvet over steel. The dim light enhanced the peaks and valleys of his abdomen above his hip bones where a deep V stretched under the waistband of his shorts. I licked my lips subconsciously, again thinking about how much I'd like to get my hands on him.

  Before I knew it he was crouching next to me, pushing the blanket off my shoulders and gathering me into his lap. He wrapped it around both of us and leaned back against the loveseat, my back to his stomach, and pulled my head onto his shoulder to rest.

  We sat there quietly for a moment. I could feel his heart beating in his chest. He felt warm and sturdy behind me and I was struck by how comfortable I felt in his arms, as if I was always meant to be there.

  "Do you remember the time we took that t
wo-seater bike and rode it into town?" He asked, breaking the silence.

  I laughed, "I think so. I got my shoe lace caught in the bike chain and you had to carry me on your back the whole way to the house because we couldn't get it untangled."

  Luke leaned his head down to mine, planting a kiss in my hair. I could feel his smile against the back of my head.

  "You were so cute, laughing and screaming every time I stumbled or readjusted my grip. I never would have dropped you, you know."

  "I know... Whatever happened to that bike?"

  "It's in my garage, along with your shoe."

  I busted out laughing at this, sitting forward so I could look back at him.

  "I couldn't bear to part with it," he said with a solemn look on his face.

  For a moment I thought he was serious, then I shoved his shoulder and started laughing again. His face broke out into a huge grin.

  "Okay, seriously, I do still have the bike, but that shoe was stinking up my garage. I had to get rid of it."

  I laughed again. "You are something else Luke Johnson."

  "Look what I do have though." He jumped up and grabbed his wallet from where he had left it on the table before we went out in the boat. Coming back to sit again, he dug out a picture. The corners were worn and the picture was faded, but clear as day it was Luke and me, holding up a catfish.

  "Oh my gosh! I can't believe you still have that picture," I said astonished.

  "Like I told you last night, I've been holding on to my memories of you." He gave me a huge genuine smile that warmed my heart.

  Our conversation came so easily that I almost forgot who we were and where we were, sitting in an old fish shack, half clothed while Mother Nature reigned outside. Being with Luke felt natural. Perfect. I settled back against him and sighed.

  "Caroline?" He asked, pulling my face around to his.

  "Hmm?"

  "I'm going to kiss you again."

  "Luke, I'm not sure what to make of this new you. What changed you from the brooding, arrogant asshole, into this warm and caring gentleman?"

  "Asshole huh?"

  I nodded almost imperceptibly.

  He sighed, running his hands through my messy hair. "I have always been the guy you think you know. That asshole? That wasn't me. I was wrong to treat you that way, I tried to explain it the day Mark died but... That day at Maria's when Mark asked me if I minded him dating you..."

  "Yeah, and you told him it was fine with you. I overheard the conversation," I huffed.

  "No, I told him it couldn't hurt to ask. I never thought you would say yes to him. I wanted you to choose me. I knew you would choose me. And then you didn't."

  My eyes grew wide as I looked at him. "But, I asked you if there was any reason I shouldn't date Mark and you said to do whatever I wanted."

  "Because I wanted you to choose," he said, running his finger along my jaw. "I didn't want to get in the way of what you wanted and I thought for sure you weren't interested in him. The way you looked at me melted my heart and I wanted nothing more than for you to run into my arms and tell me you cared about me. But instead, you raced off and the next thing I heard you were with Mark."

  I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach.

  "I wanted you to tell me that you wanted me too. I was seventeen years old for God's sake! How was I supposed to know that you wanted me? I flat out asked you and you couldn't even say it!" I yelled.

  "I'm so sorry. I just thought you knew. After that last Christmas when I saw you, I couldn't let myself be that guy anymore. I finally figured out that if I wanted something I had to go for it and not let anything get in my way."

  "And now? What do you want Luke?"

  He reached out and cupped my cheek. "You are everything I've ever wanted."

  I could feel the desire twisting in my belly as I slowly brought my mouth to his. First I kissed him square on the lips. Then I nipped at his bottom lip, exhaling and nudging them open with mine. I let my tongue flick across his lips and dart inside to tease him. After a few more moments of this sensual assault my nerve endings were on high alert. I grew more eager, but trying to deepen the kiss in this position was maddening. He must have sensed my frustration because in one movement he had moved onto the loveseat and I was in his lap, with one knee on either side of his hips.

  One of his arms slid around my waist holding me there, while the other cradled the back of my head, forcing my mouth to his. I ran my hands over his chest finally getting a chance to feel his muscles work under his warm skin. He was intoxicating, and I couldn't get enough of him. His tongue moved with mine in a dance as old as time. And when we were both breathless, he pulled back and peppered kisses along my collarbone. I could feel his arousal against me and I instantly wanted to feel him over me, inside me.

  "Motherfucker," he said breathlessly, pulling back and resting his forehead against mine. After he caught his breath he said, "I think the rain has eased up. We better try to get out of here before we lose all the light."

  That kiss had ignited something in me. I didn't want to leave. I wanted him to take the rest of my clothes off and fulfill my needs. It had been over two years since I had been with anyone. It wasn't like there weren't other men out there who would be happy to do the job, but I felt drawn to Luke, I wanted him. I had always wanted him.

  I stood in my bike shorts and sports bra and folded the blanket we had been huddled under. Then, I slowly walked over to the cot, put down the blanket and turned around, trying to decide what to say. He was right behind me, taking my hips in his large hands and pulling me against him.

  "What do you want, Savannah?" He asked me, with an unidentifiable emotion in his voice.

  Slowly I leaned into him, closing my eyes, and blurted out the truth.

  "You make me feel things I've never felt before. I would love nothing more than for us to rip off our clothes and get lost in each other. But, I don't want it to change things between us."

  He let me go and stepped back.

  "Let's go," he said tersely, walking over to stamp out the remaining embers and cover the fireplace with a screen, before stomping out the front door and slamming it behind him.

  I let him go, but I had no idea what his problem was. I pulled on my still damp tank and my running shorts, slipped into my flip-flops and headed for the truck. It was still sprinkling a little so I jogged the short distance, opened the door and jumped in. He didn't say a word to me as he gunned the engine. The truck slid around in the mud, heading back the way we came. I decided it was best not to say anything, so I sat quietly looking out the window. What is his deal?

  "Shit! Shit! Shit!" He said, banging his hand on the steering wheel and drawing my attention to the road. Or, lack of road for that matter. Water covered the causeway, blocking us from our route.

  "The storm must have pushed all this water inland. It's going to be several more hours before it's low enough to cross. By then it will be too dark to leave safely. SHIT!"

  He was angry, and I was stuck with him. Perfect! The universe strikes again! I shouldn't have kissed him, and I damn sure shouldn't have opened my fat mouth and mentioned sex.

  I opened the glove compartment to pull out my cell phone, which I'd stashed there earlier. I called my parents to tell them what was going on, that the Explorer was at Luke's if they needed it, and to assure them we had shelter and would be back in the morning. My father sounded none too pleased about my being stuck out in the woods with a man who I was not married to, however, my mother sounded delighted. 'Have a good time, honey' she had said as my father ranted in the background. I told them I loved them and touched the screen to end the call.

  "Well, at least I have cell service right? They won't be sending out the National Guard to look for us," I said, trying to lighten the mood.

  Luke put the truck in reverse and backed all the way down the road to the cabin. When we got back inside he pulled some wood from the stand and put it into the fireplace, relighting the fire.
/>   "Are you still damp?" He asked. "I think I might have a dry shirt or two in the truck."

  "That would be incredible. Thank you."

  While he was outside looking, I pulled my tank top off again and shivered. Thankful that my sports bra and bike shorts were wicking and dried quickly, I laid my running shorts and tank near the fire, hoping they would completely dry out before morning. When he came back in, he took one look at my state of undress and threw a shirt at me.

  "Put that on."

  "I'm sorry Luke. I shouldn't have suggested anything. I get it would be weird for you and I to be intimate after everything with Mark... I legitimately want to be with you though, and I was trying to be honest about my feelings."

  "It has nothing to do with Mark. You expect me to fuck you and pretend like it won't change anything."

  I was stunned by the way he twisted my words to sound so degrading.

  "You're mad because I'm suggesting sex and nothing else?"

  He was clenching his fists and spitting fire at me with his eyes.

  "Hell yes, I am!" He yelled.

  "This is ridiculous! I want you. You, Luke! It's been two years since I've wanted anyone! When I saw you the other day the connection was instant. You know what I'm talking about. It's always been there between us. And now that we finally have a chance to explore it together, you shut me down because I don't know if I want a relationship?"

  I searched his eyes for some sign that I was accurately describing the situation, but he stood there angry as ever. I blew out a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding, feeling deflated.

  "I just... I know I need to move on with my life, but I'm not sure how. Everything is such a mess right now and I don't know if I can handle a relationship. But believe me, if I were going to have one with anybody, it would be you. I've always wanted to be with you Luke."

  I pulled the overly large shirt over my head as I walked to the fire. It hung down to my knees, but it smelled like him. I sank to the floor in front of the fireplace, pulling my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around my shins. The rain started again, echoing my mood as I stared into the fire. I didn't hear him walk over to stand near me until he spoke.