Aunty Marmalade

by Ruth Ann Young

Above me in the rafters of the roof was a little ‘phhh’ sound and a sprinkle of dust showered my head. I think I said the wrong thing.

  “Look at the time Florence. Mum will go mad. Tea at six and don’t be late. It’s tattooed on my heart! I must go but do you want to meet up again tomorrow?” asked Sam.

  “Yes I would. Thanks for a great time,” I said.

  “What do you mean? What are you thanking me for? It’s me who must thank you. Thank your aunt too for me, will you? She is a fantastic cake maker.”

  “I will. See you tomorrow.”

  “I’ll come around at eleven. We’ll go to check out my dinghy first and then we’ll decide what to do for the rest of the day. Better wear old clothes because there will be cleaning on board to do.”

  Sam left and I waved goodbye from the door.

  “You two seemed to get on very well. She has a fine appetite too,” said Aunty M laughing

  “She loved your cakes so we had a bit of all of them. We’re meeting up tomorrow. I hope that is Ok.”

  “Course it is. I’m so pleased you have made a friend. Do you have lots of friends at home?” asked Aunty M.

  “Eloise is my best friend at school and she comes for sleepovers. Mum hates sleepovers though so I don’t ask her very often. There’s a few other girls I like but because I’m so shy and I always think I’ll say the wrong thing so I keep quiet. Best thing is though; Sam goes to St Maur’s. How cool is that?”

  “Never. Well I’ll be blowed. What a coincidence. You’ll have an instant friend there then. What good luck.”

  “Yes I know. She said she would be my ‘shadow’ and help me settle in. She’s a year older than me so she’ll be in the year above me.”

  “Now that’s lucky too because the advice I was given by my mum was, ‘get yourself an older, bigger friend and you can’t go wrong!” said Aunty M laughing.

  “Sounds like good advice,” I agreed and we both laughed.

  “But Florence, I’ve seen a change in you since you arrived. I don’t think you’ll be so shy from now on. And for goodness sake, stop worrying about saying the wrong thing. If you do, so what?”

  “I know what you mean because I do feel different. I’m really going to try not to let the ‘cool gang’ get to me so much next term. I’m going to try to stand up for myself more.”

  Chapter 19

  Sam and I went to the Sailing Club the following day at eleven. Her dinghy, Bubblegum the Third, was on a stand along with other dinghies. It was dry but it needed to be cleaned out. We climbed inside it. We started filling Sam’s black bin liners with the seaweed, stones and shells that were strewn all over the bottom of the boat. We pulled the sails out to let them dry out. Luckily, it was a sunny day.

  “Thanks for your help with this. Mum said I can’t take the boat out for a while. She thought I was a gonner!” said Sam laughing.

  “Well it was a bit scary seeing you go over like that so I can understand what your mum means.”

  “Yes, it did shake me up a bit but I do love sailing. I can’t wait to learn to drive. All that freedom. Just jump in the car and off you go. Sailing is like that…jump in the boat and sail away, but it is dangerous. The sea is dangerous.”

  “Do you want to come back for lunch? Aunty M said it is fine,” I said.

  When we arrived Aunty M was in the kitchen and she smiled at us saying,

  “Hello girls. There’s chicken gougons, chips and beans. Then there’s strawberry cake with ice cream.”

  Sam and I looked at each other. We were both starving after working on the boat.

  After lunch, we decided to go back up to the attic. First, we tried on some of the dresses.

  “You look gorgeous, Sam. That hat looks simply divine,” I said mimicking the lady on the fashion programme on TV.

  “You look simply wonderful in that creation, Flo. The colour is perfect on you.”

  We both fell about laughing because we looked really silly. Sam wrapped a gruesome fox stole around her and paraded up to the end of the attic like she was on a catwalk. Then we sat down together on the sofa and looked through the window. Far below we could see the sea and Aunty M’s garden.

  “Sam, do you believe in ghosts?” I asked.

  “No I don’t. I think when you’re dead you’re dead. But some people do. My mum does.”

  “Really does she?” I said astounded that a grown up would.

  “Yes. She says she’s had some odd experiences when she feels she’s being ‘watched over.’ That someone is sort of taking care of her. She’s a bit religious so I guess that’s the reason. Dad says it’s a load of old twoddle and I sort of agree with him. Why do you ask?”

  “No reason really,” I said.

  “Go on there must be a reason.”

  “No there isn’t. Well at least I thought there might be, but Aunty M explained to me about being in old houses.”

  “I don’t understand. What about being in old houses?”

  “Well you know creaking floorboards, wind howling through the windows and doors slamming. You get all these noises in old houses. I live in a new house and the only noises we get are the London traffic. That’s all you can hear.”

  “You live in London? That’s cool. I’d love to live there. All those shops and restaurants and loads of things to do. There’s not much going on down here. Anyway you thought you heard a ghost?” Sam continued.

  “Yes I did. It seems daft now but it was a bit scary at the time.”

  “Well you weren’t to know and you are in a strange house without your parents. Lord, look at the time. I’ve got a dentist appointment at four. Mum’ll murder me if I’m late. Must dash.”

  That night as I lay in bed, I heard a click. I opened my eyes wondering what I was going to see and hear this time. There on the end of the bed was the girl. She looked just like me. She had a sort of white ‘glow’ around her and I could clearly see she was staring at me with those dead eyes, piercing through me. Terror shot through me and yet I could not stop staring. The way she looked at me made me feel cold and empty. I was shocked and frightened. I lay still as I could, unable to breathe. I mustn’t make a sound. I couldn’t anyway. Then she started to fade and I strained my eyes to keep her in view but as I blinked, she was gone.

  Chapter 20

  Sam and I met at the sailing club again the next day. We finished off clearing the boat and by the end, Sam said it looked as good as new. We went into the coffee bar and ordered two cokes and sat down. The door flung open suddenly and in came two boys of about thirteen or fourteen dressed in sailing gear.

  “Hi Sam.”

  “Oh hi Pete. Hi Matt. This is Florence she’s staying at Apple Jack’s Cottage.”

  “Hi,” they both said to me. I could feel my face getting hot and red. I smiled back too embarrassed to speak.

  “You staying there for long?” asked Matt slumping into the chair.

  “Just two weeks,” I mumbled.

  “Seen any ghosts yet?”

  “Pardon?”

  “You must have heard. That place is haunted. People always say they’ve been funny ‘going ons’ there.”

  “What sort of funny ‘going ons’?” asked Sam.

  “You know, the sort of things,” answered Pete, “ghostly figures walking pass the window and in the garden in the moonlight.”

  “Flo, you thought you’d heard funny noises, didn’t you?” said Sam.

  “Yes, but it was only the old house noises. There are no ghosts there. Ghosts aren’t real anyway.” My face was burning and I knew my face must be red like a lobster now. In front of boys and Sam too. I felt so stupid and babyish.

  “Got you,” the boys and Sam burst out laughing. I had fallen for their stupid joke and rather than laugh along with them, I hung my head in shame and wished I could run away.

  The boys got up and left.

  “Flo, don’t you know any boys?”

  “No, it’s all girls at my school. I feel so stupid. They must think I’m a re
al dork.”

  “Don’t worry; they think everyone’s a dork except them. They’re Ok really. Just boys. My mum says boys are a completely different species. I fancy Matt which one do you fancy?”

  I’d never even thought about boys in that way. The only boy I ever really took any notice of was Dave who was in a band called ‘Scoop’ up to that point, so I didn’t know what to say.

  “Go on, which one Flo?”

  “I don’t know,” I said totally embarrassed.

  “Well, which one would you like to go out with?” asked Sam, with even more determination.

  “Go out with? You’re joking. My Mum would have a heart attack,” I replied.

  “No she wouldn’t, bet you? She’d probably be pleased that boys fancy you.”

  “I doubt that. She still thinks I’m about four. I ‘spose I prefer Pete but he wouldn’t even notice me or possibly like me. Who’d fancy me with red hair and freckles?”

  “Flo, you’re gorgeous. Like that model what’s her name? Only difference she’s about two feet taller.”

  “Do you mean Lolly Middleham? I’m not remotely like her Sam.”

  “You just don’t realise how pretty you are Flo.”

  Later on, I sat in my room looking at myself in the mirror. I tried to untangle my hair. Lolly Middleham, what a joke! I pouted and made a model face. Nope, I couldn’t see any resemblance at all. But I did feel chuffed that Sam thought I was pretty. Apart from Aunty M and granny (and they didn’t count because they would say things like that), no-one had ever told me I was pretty.

  Behind me in the mirror, I saw the picture on the wall shift. Then the duvet and pillow started to ripple. Suddenly, the room became icy cold. I turned around. The ghost was there. She was glaring at me. She was clear and unmistakeable. It was like looking at me. The only difference was that she was pale and white, almost shiny. A glowing aura surrounded her. I froze. Petrified, I fell to the floor and covered my head in my arms.

  “Get up, get up,” she whispered at me.

  “No, no leave me alone. Leave me alone. I can’t bear this. I can’t bear this. Please leave me alone. Why are you here? Why do you keep letting me see you? I don’t want you. I want you to go away and leave me alone. I feel like I’m going mad.”

  “You’re not. Get up. Get up now. I need you.”

  “No, no. Leave me alone. Go away and never come back. I can’t help you,” I said desperately.

  “You can and you are the only one who can. I won’t hurt you. I can’t. I just need you to help me.”

  I unfolded my arms from my head and looked up. Tears were streaming down my face and my nose was running and I had to keep sniffing. God, mum would go mad if she could see me now. I looked up. The ghost was smiling at me now.

  “Hello, Florence. I need your help. Will you help me?”

  “How can I possibly help you? You’re a ghost. Who are you? Please leave me alone. Can’t you see that I am really scared? I am terrified of you.”

  “I know you are. I can see that, but I want you to help me rest in peace,” said the ghost.

  “How can I possibly help you? How could I help you ‘rest in peace’?”

  “But you are the only one. Don’t say no, not ever. You’re all I’ve got.”

  And with that, she faded away.

  Chapter 21

  Aunty M was digging in her vegetable plot the next day and was listening to some debate programme on the radio. Sam had gone out with her family and so I found myself alone. I decided to go up to the attic. For some strange reason, I felt sort of safe up there and I wanted to continue snooping about to see what else I could discover. In the back of my mind was a feeling that the ghost might visit me again up there. Well, that was where I heard the first noises. Feeling brave, I climbed the steps. Perhaps I would unearth some more clues to who was this ‘ghost’. I had been thinking about what happened and what it said to me and the more I thought about it, the more I thought that I had dreamed it. For goodness sake, I didn’t believe in ghosts. When you’re dead, you’re dead. Surely? So much was happening to me that I felt I was losing it. Or maybe she really did exist. I would not be so scared next time. I hoped.

  I walked down to the sofa and sat down and waited. I picked up a huge, dusty old book from the bookcase. It was a book about birds. Each picture was beautifully painted and had a piece of grease proof paper to protect it. I turned over each page. I recognised some of the birds because I’d seen them on David Attenborough’s programme on T.V. The book was so beautiful that at first, I didn’t feel the temperature suddenly drop. I felt a cold waft of air trickle pass me. I looked around and felt a shiver run down my spine. I stared around feeling frightened and vulnerable. There was nothing. Nothing at all. I was getting flustered and spooked. The meeting with the ghost the day before really got to me. I felt my breathing slow down and go back to normal. I closed the book and carefully placed it back on the shelf. I couldn’t stay up there alone. Not any more.

  I turned towards the hatch. I couldn’t wait to get out of the attic. Then as I strode to the steps, I heard a voice behind me.

  “Wait. Please wait. Don’t be afraid. I won’t hurt you. I can’t and I wouldn’t even if I could. Just a minute. Can you wait just a minute?”

  I stopped. I turned around slowly. I took a deep breath. There sitting on the sofa was the ghostly figure of someone who looked just like me. Her hair was long, ginger and untidy just like mine. She was dressed in the same white dress that I saw her in before. I could see right through her to the red velvet of the sofa. As she spoke, she floated up and drifted towards me. Then she hovered just in front of me. Her eyes were pleading me to wait. There was nothing I could do. I had to stop. I had to wait. I had to listen.

  “Yes, I can wait. Aunty M is busy in the garden and I don’t want to be in her way.”

  “I’m Roma your twin sister,” she said.

  “I don’t think you can be my sister. I’m an only child. I’d know if I had a sister. I think you must have got it wrong.”

  “No there’s no mistake. They never told you.”

  “Who never told me what?” I asked.

  “Our mother, granny and granpy - that you had a sister, silly.”

  “But if that’s true, why wouldn’t they tell me. I don’t understand. Why are there so many secrets?” I stammered.

  “I’m not sure why they have never told you about me and dad. There must be another reason and I don’t know what that is. But I do know that I’m a ghost,” she stated.

  “I know you are, but how did you die? I’m so confused,” I spluttered.

  “You found the photos and the wedding dress, didn’t you? Then the christening dresses and the photo of us when we were little.”

  “Yes, so you were watching me. I just don’t understand why there’s you and me and mum with that other man. And why is mum married to someone else? Where’s our real dad, for goodness sake? I’m so muddled up and I don’t know who to ask to tell me the truth.”

  “I can only tell you my part of the story. Our dad is the man in the photo but I don’t know what happened to him. You will have to ask Aunty M about that.”

  “Aunty M? Yes, I suppose she’d be easier to tackle than mum. After all, it’s mum who is keeping all these secrets,” I said.

  I wanted to know there and then. All these secrets that I knew nothing about and they all involved me. Tears started to well up in my eyes. Here I was in the attic talking to the ghost of my dead twin and I wasn’t dreaming; this was for real.

  “So what happened to you, Roma?” I demanded.

  “When we were about six months old, I became poorly. We were alone with mum and dad wasn’t there. I don’t know where he was. Mum was frantic about me and she called a taxi. I must have been very ill because we all rushed to hospital where I died alone with just a nurse looking after me. Mum couldn’t stay with me because there was no-one to look after you. So I died in the arms of the nurse who didn’t know me. I never had the chance to
see you again, never said goodbye to mum or dad. So I’m stuck here. I couldn’t get into heaven until now. Because you are here I can go, because I couldn’t ‘rest in peace’ until we said goodbye and you found out about me and dad.”

  I stood speechless then stammered, “But you’ve grown up like me. How can that be?”

  “I’ve always been here. I have lived here with Aunty M all along. I don’t know why I’m here and not with you. I don’t remember the reason but there must be one. There are lots of things that I don’t remember. I don’t seem to be able to remember like you would. Perhaps that’s the trouble with being a ghost. I did see you in London a few times because I travelled up there with Aunty M. I’m not sure why. I stopped you walking out in front of that car that day. You could have been killed.”

  “You were the one that saved me. I had a feeling that I had a guardian angel,” I said astounded. “I’ve had a feeling that someone was watching over me.”

  “Yep, that was me. Not all the time though until now. I only ‘helped’ when you were in trouble. Remember when that horrible girl in the ‘cool gang’ called you names and pushed you? What was her name?” asked Roma.

  “Oh yes, Georgia. I hate her,” I said then regretting that I’d used the word, ‘hate’. Well I did ‘hate’ her, but it sounded awful saying it out loud.

  “Well remember the day her dress got stuck in her knickers?”

  I nodded, “Omigod. That was you?”

  “Sure was. Great, wasn’t it! I just had to do something to give her some of her own medicine so I just sort of did it! I had a right laugh about that,” said Roma laughing.

  “Yeah, so did I,” I replied laughing too.

  “Did I scare you when I messed up your room and made those noises the other day?”

  “I was scared at first but Aunty M said the house is noisy, so I sort of thought it was that and I guessed I must have forgotten to tidy my room in the morning but I knew I had, so I was just confused. I never thought there was a ghost. I’ve been more worried about the man in the photo. Is he our dad?”

  “Yes. But I don’t know where he is or what happened to him.”