SEAL Do Over (A Standalone Navy SEAL Romance) (SEAL Brotherhood, 6)

by Ivy Jordan

  “Show me,” he handed me the vial and a small bottle of milk.

  I filled the vial to the line I used previously, and showed the old man. He smiled and nodded as he patted me gently on the back.

  “You did good,” he chuckled as if he were surprised.

  I took the vial and added it to the milk, and then sat on a bale of hay to feed the little critter. He was hungry, quickly consuming the bottle as I talked to him. His dark eyes peered up at me, and I wondered if he believed I was his mother.

  “You know, you should consider going to school to be a vet,” Tom said, the exact words I was hoping to hear.

  “Maybe I will,” I boasted, feeling a sense of pride that I’d never felt before.

  A woman entered the barn, one arm missing, but handling a small child despite her shortcomings. Tom greeted her, then pulled a sucker from behind his back, giving it to the small girl.

  “What is that?” the little girl exclaimed as her eyes moved to me and the baby squirrel that finished its bottle in my arms.

  “A squirrel.” I showed her.

  Tom gave me a nod. “I bet Candace would love some help feeding the baby pigs,” he smiled at the little girl.

  She jumped up and down, her smile so wide it nearly ripped her face off.

  “Yes. I could use some help,” I smiled.

  The mother thanked me, and then followed Tom back towards the stables. The little girl followed me around, watching my every move and asking to help each time I started a task.

  “How did the squirrel break his leg?” she asked.

  I explained that it fell from a tree.

  “Where was his mommy?” she asked.

  “The mommy couldn’t help the baby, so I had to,” I explained.

  As we moved to the baby pigs, the little girl, who informed me her name was Sara, asked question after question.

  “Why do you have to feed the baby pigs when they have a mommy?” she asked.

  “Because she had too many babies, and there isn’t enough room for them all to eat. So, we feed the smaller ones, the ones that are getting pushed away,” I explained.

  I grabbed two bottles and set them next to a bench outside the pig pen. Sara watched as I moved inside, picking up a squealing pig that couldn’t quite make its way to the mother’s tit. I handed the pig to the girl, who did just as she was told, and held on tight. Once I got her settled with a bottle, and the pig finally adjusted to the new form of food, I went inside and grabbed another for me to feed.

  We sat there feeding the babies, her mimicking everything I did. I talked softly to the pig I fed; she would hers. When I stroked the belly of the pig I fed, she stroked hers. I thought about Holly and how excited I was to meet her. I imagined her to be just as interested in the animals I cared for. Maybe they could bring her here, so I could show her how to care for them instead of just telling her about it.

  The mother eventually returned to the front of the barn, her therapy with the horses complete. The little girl hated to leave, but I promised her she could help me next week when they came again.

  “You’re a natural,” Tom smiled.

  “The animals make it easy,” I laughed.

  “Not just the animals, with kids,” he grinned.

  I’d never spent any time around kids before. It was nice, and I really enjoyed how excited they got and how candid they could be.

  Lunchtime rolled around, and Luke showed up like always. I noticed Lyla hadn’t been coming anymore, and I wondered if that was on purpose.

  When I noticed Luke on his way, my heart fluttered, and a strange knot formed in my gut. I hadn’t felt love since I was a young girl, and I couldn’t remember what it felt like. Whatever this feeling was, it felt new.

  I rattled through our lunch, telling Luke about the squirrel, which he insisted on checking on, and the little girl who helped me feel the pigs. He didn’t seem surprised when I told him that Tom was impressed by the splint I made, or how I measured out the perfect amount of antibiotics for the weight of the wounded critter. He just smiled, nodded, and stared at me with eyes filled with a strange, but endearing look.

  “What?” I gushed, blushing from his stares.

  “You’re amazing,” he said softly, making my heart flutter again.

  Our thirty minutes were over before I had a chance to ask about another date. Luke packed everything up, leaned in for a hug, and without thinking, I let my lips slide onto his.

  His embrace softened, and his hands caressed my back as we both froze together, lips locked, eyes closed, and neither making a move for an exit on the situation.

  “Luke,” someone called from a distance, causing the embrace to unlock.

  The wind was cool against my moistened lips, and I yearned for his warmth.

  His eyes glistened in the sunlight, blue as the sky. They shifted towards the man that now moved in his direction, still calling his name, but it was obvious he wanted to linger where he was, not leaving this spot.

  “I better go,” he sighed.

  “Okay,” I whispered.

  “Call me after work,” he insisted with an irresistible wink.

  He was gone. I wanted him back in my arms. I wanted his lips pressed back against mine.

  The day was slow after lunch, leaving me with too much free time to daydream, worry, and analyze all my feelings.

  I finally got home, and Lyla busied herself with paperwork, so I snuck into my room and shut the door tightly.

  I dialed Luke’s number like he’d asked me to, and when he answered, I froze.

  “Candace, are you there?” he asked.

  “Are you mad that I made you have sex with me?” I blurted.

  There was a long pause. Too long. I began to panic.

  “I’m sorry,” I said softly, ready to hang up when he finally spoke.

  “Don’t apologize. You didn’t make me do anything. I wanted to be with you,” he said, his tone soft.

  I quickly hung up, unsure of what to say next. I felt foolish for asking such a juvenile question.

  My heart thumped hard against my chest.

  My phone rang, and it was Luke, calling back.

  I quickly answered.

  “Why did you hang up?” he chuckled.

  “Can we go on another date, Friday?” I blurted.

  “Yes. I’d love that,” he responded, and I hung up again.

  Chapter 29

  Luke

  I drove towards the barn where I was set to meet Candace, still reeling from the past week’s events. She hadn’t said a word about the conversation we’d had on the phone two days before or why she felt the need to hang up on me twice.

  As we sat at lunch, the only conversation we had was about work, until I finally asked her what she’d like to do on our date.

  I was surprised that she didn’t hesitate, quickly stating she wanted to ride horses. When I asked her if she’d ever been, she said no, which made me laugh, because I’d only been a couple times myself.

  Jackson agreed to let me take two out, and Tom moved the two gentlest ones to the back stable, explaining that they knew what do to, even if we didn’t. That was perfect because we didn’t know what to do.

  I parked my truck by the barn and grabbed the picnic basket from the back before I headed into the barn.

  Candace was talking to her squirrel, who was now getting along quite well with three legs, just dragging the splint along for the ride. I laughed every time she’d call his name, Sully, and he’d come running. She had a way with animals, with kids, and with me.

  “Are you ready for this?” I asked, causing Candace to turn towards me.

  “I am,” she smiled.

  Tom was still in the back, waiting for us to give a few last minute tips. He’d already saddled the horses and worked out a trail that we’d take.

  “It’s the easiest on both you and the horse,” he explained.

  Easy sounded perfect to me.

  “It’s a pretty trail. You end up at a huge oa
k tree by the river; that’s when you stop, give the horses a rest and a drink, and then head back,” he insisted.

  We both agreed, and then Tom helped me load the picnic basket to the back of the saddle so it wouldn’t swing off.

  He watched as we took off, probably worried more about the horses than us.

  “You think he’ll still be there when we get back?” I chuckled.

  Candace smiled, shaking her head as she clung to the reins.

  We didn’t talk much along the trail, which was fine with me. I was enjoying the scenery, my company, and was trying to concentrate on not falling off the horse.

  The large oak tree was easy to spot, so we stopped like Tom had insisted.

  I slid from the horse, not gracefully, but well enough that I didn’t fall and make a fool of myself. I helped Candace down, loading her into my arms and hating to let go once her feet hit the ground. There we were again, tightly pressed together, our lips so close I could feel the warmth from hers soaking onto mine. She leaned in quick, kissing me on the lips, and then pulled away.

  “You keep doing that,” I teased, tightening my grip around her as she squirmed.

  I noticed a tension that quickened in her body, so I released and apologized quickly.

  “Don’t,” she whispered, her cheeks blushing red.

  She walked towards the river, her hair golden beneath the slow-setting sun. I worked on untying the basket and setting up our picnic, and then guided the horses to the small stream where they could get a drink before being tied to the post near the large tree.

  Candace sat on the blanket, her back against the large tree trunk, and waited while I handed her a plate. I’d picked up chicken from in town, slaw, and fresh biscuits with apple butter and honey. We ate in silence, staring out at the sky as it changed colors. I wondered what she was thinking, and if it was anything remotely close to my own thoughts.

  Candace set her plate down and glanced over at me. I pushed my plate away, committed to whatever it was she wanted, even if only my undivided attention.

  She leaned in, her eyes so warm, and her lips so pouty. Her finger lifted to my mouth, slowly sliding across my bottom lip.

  “You had something,” she smirked, showing me the piece of biscuit she’d retrieved from my facial hair.

  I chuckled, feeling foolish that I thought she was about to kiss me.

  “Can I,” I stopped myself from finishing my request.

  “Yes,” she responded, surprising me with puckered lips, and eyes that quickly closed.

  I leaned in, tasting the sweet honey from her lips. The kiss was gentle and without force, similar to the one she’d given me several days before.

  I pulled back. She was smiling, and from the pain in my cheeks, I knew I was beaming with excitement.

  “No one’s ever asked before, or been kind about it,” she said softly.

  “I’ll always ask,” I promised her, reaching for her hand to place in mine.

  She leaned towards me, surprisingly eager to gain another kiss. Her lips were soft, this time parted, and her tongue flicked like a feather between my own.

  I pulled her into me, giving her the kiss she craved. When we parted, it was with a sigh of satisfaction, and both our faces were red with passion.

  “We better go,” Candace said, looking up at the darkening sky.

  The sun was almost set, and Tom warned about being out late. He worried we would get lost or lose control of the horses in the dark of night.

  I loaded everything up, tied the basket just as he had, and helped Candace to her saddle.

  The ride back to the barn was just as silent as the ride away from it. We gave a few glances and a couple giggles, and my thoughts roared wild through my mind.

  Surprisingly, Tom wasn’t waiting on us when we returned, but Sully was. His little head peeked out from his box where Candace had left him as we unsaddled the horses and placed them back into their stalls to be brushed.

  It was sweet how she reacted to the tiny critter, and he to her. When she was finished with her greetings to Sully, she stepped into a stall with a brush, and I went into the other.

  “So, would it be okay if I called you my girlfriend?” I asked, feeling young and foolish as I spoke.

  “Is that what I am?” Candace asked.

  “I would like you to be. I promise I won’t push you,” I vowed.

  Candace giggled, and then nodded, her cheeks turning a bright red.

  She leaned over the fence that separated the stalls, reaching for my lips. I eagerly gave them up, letting her gently press against them to leave her sweet flavor for me to enjoy later.

  We finished brushing the horses, and Candace gathered up Sully and his makeshift home. I helped her into the truck and drove her towards Lyla’s, wishing the entire time that I was just taking her home to my bed.

  We said our goodnights at the door with Sully peeking out towards me to be part of the exchange.

  “Can I kiss you goodnight?” I asked.

  Candace nodded, her lips curling into a smile.

  I leaned in, kissed her gently, and then pulled back before I went too far. I’d leave the passion to her, for now. I promised not to push.

  Chapter 30

  Candace

  Lyla thought it was soon for my relationship to be labeled with Luke, but I liked being called his girlfriend. I felt safe knowing that he wanted to be with me and that he wouldn’t push me to go faster than I was ready to go.

  Saturday, he worked on the cabins all day, readying them for the new residents. I played in the barn with the kittens, feeding the runt that I named Dreamer, and letting Sully run around in the hay where I knew he couldn’t get hurt.

  Sunday morning, I woke up with an odd urge to go to church. I called Luke, told him my plans, and when he offered to go with me, I told him I wanted to go alone. He was kind, and understood, not pushing to see me like I thought he would.

  Lyla was pleased that I decided to do things on my own. She told about a small church that was about two miles up the road, close enough to walk.

  “I’ll drive you,” she offered.

  “I’d rather walk, take some time to think,” I smiled.

  I still didn’t have much to wear, so I borrowed a long skirt and a pink blouse from Lyla, and headed towards the church.

  The road was fairly isolated, only a few cars passing as I walked. The pavement was worn and broken, and each side of the road was lined with farmland, corn on the left, soy on the right. It was peaceful and pretty, and for the first time in a long time, my head was clear.

  I thought about Luke. I thought about the kissing, the sex, and the urge I had to do it again. I wasn’t sure if I should wait, if what I felt were my own needs, or if they were ways to control, to manipulate, or to please. My mind had been so twisted for so long and my life so chaotic, I truly didn’t know what it was like to think for myself.

  The birds chirped in the trees above as I approached the little white church. My mind was clear, I was free, and it was the best feeling in the world.

  A small group of people gathered outside the church, waiting to go inside. I passed them, smiled, and went in, finding a seat towards the back row so I wouldn’t be noticed.

  Everyone inside the church was smiling, greeting one another, and even greeting me as they passed by. It was nice to feel a connection, a belonging to something larger than your own life. There had to be a reason we were all here, why things happened on this earth, good and bad, and I intended to find out in this little white building.

  Music played, and people started taking their seats. A short man wearing a brown suit walked to the front where a group of men and women wearing white silk robes sung their hearts out.

  The small man took the microphone, and even though he was small in size, his voice was large and powerful.

  “You know why you’re here today,” he yelled into the crowd of people.

  A woman in front of me yelled, “Amen,” and threw her arms in the air.
The chattering was loud, the “amens” abundant, and that was all he’d said. I felt as though I missed something, like the connection I thought I’d find here was fading.

  “Some of you may not know why you’re here,” he yelled out to the crowd.

  Some of the same people yelled out, threw their arms in the air, but a few new ones added to the display.

  “It doesn’t matter if you know or not, because He knows,” the man yelled, pointing towards the sky.

  Nearly everyone in the church started to rise up into commotion, their arms lifting, some people talking in a strange language, their eyes closed, and one man got up and ran the length of the church, back and forth.

  The choir broke out in song, and most of the church stood and sang along. I sat in my seat, watching, wondering if I was missing something, if that was why I had the life I’d had. Had God forgotten about me, not noticed me somehow?

  During the last song, I almost got up and snuck out the door, but suddenly the preacher broke through with his powerful voice once again.

  “Some ask why the Lord brings pain onto His children. They want to know, why, Lord, why?” he called out.

  I stayed.

  “They think the Lord has forsaken them, or he is punishing them in some way,” he continued.

  The hairs on the back of my neck stood as the preacher appeared to be bringing a sermon custom made for me.

  “The Lord has not forsaken you, and he is not punishing you,” the small man yelled.

  I was on the edge of my seat, waiting for him to give me the answers. What do I need to do?

  “We all have a purpose, and he does not always tell us that purpose. He knows what he is doing, and why he is doing it…you have to have FAITH,” the man screamed.

  Faith? My heart dropped into my chest, and I leaned back against the pew.

  More music broke out. People cried, they dropped to their knees, and they sang. I sat. I waited. When it was over, I left.

  “Candace,” I turned to see who had called my name.

  Theo was there, wearing a gray suit that looked tailor-made. He smiled, extended his hand, and told me how glad he was that I’d come to the service. I wasn’t sure I was.