Blue in the Face

by Gerry Swallow

  When the women continued down the hall, Georgie felt it necessary to whisper. “It’s not true.” He then turned and led the group through the kitchen.

  “Put that down,” Earl Grey scolded Barry White, knocking a sizeable breadcrumb from the mouse’s mouth.

  “But it’s pumpernickel,” said Barry. He took one last sniff of the morsel then hurried to catch up with the others.

  The door at the other end of the kitchen led them back out into the courtyard where the shops had long ago closed down for the night. On the catwalk above stood several more guards, but they were more concerned with attackers or assassins breaking in than with prisoners getting out, and their backs were to the escapees.

  Elspeth and the others crouched down into the shadows and away from the glaring light of a half moon as they crept across the plaza, stopping at another closed door. “This is the billiards room,” Georgie whispered. “It’s under renovation, and the other day I noticed an opening in the outer wall.”

  “So let’s go then,” said Jack.

  “It’s under guard,” said Georgie. “The only thing is, I can’t remember whether it’s Rutherford or Derbyshire on Thursdays.”

  “What does it matter?” asked Elspeth.

  “Why, it matters a great deal,” said Georgie. “If it’s Derbyshire, we’re in good shape. He has a tendency to fall asleep on the job.”

  “And if it’s not?” asked Jill.

  “Then it’s Rutherford, five-time winner of the Sentry of the Year Award,” said Georgie. “To be honest, I’m not sure what to do at this point. This is really the only way out of the castle other than over the wall or through the drawbridge.”

  Elspeth knelt down in front of the door and tried to slide Gene beneath so he could have a look around, but the space between the door and the ground proved to be too tight, even for a pointy, scrawny fellow like Gene.

  “It’s no use,” she said. “He won’t fit. We’ll just have to chance it and hope that it’s Derbyshire.”

  “What if it’s the other guy?” asked Jack.

  “Then we’ll all be added to Krool’s collection of severed heads, I would imagine,” said Elspeth.

  “That would never happen,” said Jack with a gap-toothed smile. “He’ll never get the best of my daughter.”

  Georgie placed his hand upon the doorknob. “Are you sure about this?”

  “Do it,” ordered Elspeth with a quick nod.

  Georgie inhaled deeply and began turning the knob so slowly that its movement was barely perceptible to the naked eye. When he’d turned it as far as it would go, he looked at Elspeth once more. She nodded, and he pushed the door inward. Immediately, Elspeth gasped at what she saw. Across the room sat a man with round, red cheeks and a double chin, and he was staring right back at them. The man, as it turned out, was Derbyshire, who apparently had a habit of sleeping with his eyes half-open. In fact, it would have been difficult to discern that he was sleeping at all if not for the subtle but consistent snoring. He was sitting on a stack of boards, leaning back against the wall, a mere couple of feet from the opening.

  For a moment, Elspeth was concerned that the sound of her heart pounding against her sternum might be sufficient to wake the man, and she took several slow, deep breaths to try to calm herself.

  The room was cluttered with a number of obstacles, present as a result of the renovation project. There were tools, piles of boards, and loose stones. The escapees started across, the mice leading the way. Jack’s bad foot momentarily failed him, and he stumbled over a mortarboard.

  Instantly, everyone froze, and all eyes shot toward Derbyshire. The jowly guard mumbled and stirred, but his own eyes remained at half-mast and he settled back into a deep sleep. Jill glared intensely at her husband, and Jack shrugged apologetically.

  They continued toward the escape route without further incident, and when they slipped through the hole in the wall, they found themselves standing beneath scaffolding being used as part of the renovation project. It served as the perfect cover from the eyes of the guards on the catwalk above.

  Just being outside the castle walls, Elspeth had a new and overwhelming appreciation for freedom. Breathing in deeply, she wanted nothing more than to run across the field and away from the castle. But Georgie put his fingers to his lips then pointed upward, reminding her and the others of the posted sentries.

  From the beginning, this had been an impromptu rescue plan and, as a result, had not been carefully thought out. After all, who could have imagined that escaping from the dungeon and sneaking out of the castle would be the easy part? How were they to get across the open field to the cover of the trees some two hundred yards away without being spotted?

  “Okay,” whispered Elspeth to Georgie. “What do you recommend?”

  “I’m sorry,” Georgie replied. “I honestly don’t know.”

  “We could dig a tunnel from here to the forest,” offered James Brown.

  “Yes,” said Elspeth. “And in the three weeks it would take you to dig that tunnel, we will all have lost enough weight to fit through it.”

  As it turned out, with all eight minds hard at work, none of them had a better idea. There seemed to be no viable solution.

  Then out of the blackness came the kind of shriek that curls toes and stiffens hair on the backs of necks. With a second shriek and a whoosh, a shadow shot across the moon.

  Elspeth was certain she knew the cause of it. “It’s Fergus,” she said, searching the darkened sky.

  There came another shriek, and a fourth, but these were of human origin as the guards on the catwalk above fought off the dive-bombing owl, ducking for cover and stabbing their spears blindly into the night.

  “Now,” said Georgie, and with the others close behind he left the cover of the scaffolding and sprinted for the trees.

  Elspeth was not a terribly athletic child. Of all the subjects in school, she disliked gym most of all. As a result, she was in very poor shape, and only halfway across the open field she developed a searing cramp in the side of her gut.

  She struggled on for as long as she could, but soon the pain became too much and she stopped and doubled over, feeling that she might vomit. Behind her the guards were still locked in battle with Fergus, who continued his daring assault, clawing and shrieking while deftly avoiding the deadly spear tips thrust in his direction. It was a brave and noble effort, but Elspeth wondered just how long he could keep it up.

  She stumbled onward until she found herself being scooped off the ground. Jack threw the girl over his shoulder, and with Jill at his side he limped and lumbered the remaining distance to the grove of trees.

  Out of the moonlight and into the dreamy shadows they stumbled, falling into a heap upon the soft grass. For the first few moments, they just lay there, catching their breath. Before any of them could say a word, another shriek shot out across the night. This was not a war cry, but a squeal of intense agony, followed by a thick and sudden silence.

  “Fergus,” whispered Elspeth.

  A wise old owl lived in an oak.

  Kept to himself unless you spoke

  With syntax off or grammar wrong.

  Say what you will, ’cause now he’s gone.

  Chapter 18

  Hurried voices carried through the cool, thin air but none that Elspeth recognized. There were no more toe-curling shrieks or corrections of improper grammar. It meant only one thing, she feared. Fergus was dead.

  “He was a good friend,” said Jack.

  “First his wife and now this,” said Jill, her head lowered. “Terrible.”

  “We should keep moving,” said Gene anxiously.

  Elspeth peered through the trees, back toward the castle. Risking her life to save others was not something she could ever imagine having the courage to do. “Wait,” she said.

  An all-too-brief moment of silence was the only thing Elspeth could offer as a means of thanking Fergus. “Okay,” she said at last and slowly brought herself to her feet. “Let
’s go.” But pulling her gaze from the castle and her shoes from this hallowed patch of ground was easier said than done. Doubtfully, she scanned the sky one more time for any sign of a passing shadow.

  “We’d better hurry,” said Georgie. “It won’t be long before they realize we’re gone.”

  About this, Georgie couldn’t have been more correct. Back in the castle, the hatred shared by Weldon and Morgenstern eventually gave way to fatigue, and now the sworn enemies lay beaten, breathless, and exhausted on the cold stone floor. And when they’d had time to consider it, they realized that no matter how devious the other might have been, neither was clever enough to have tied both sets of shoelaces together.

  With the tip of his spear, Morgenstern sliced through the laces and the guards raced immediately to the dungeon, where they found the door open and the three cells vacant.

  Right away there was an argument over who should be responsible for waking the king and sharing with him the fact that several high-profile prisoners had escaped while on their watch? Luckily for Elspeth and her friends, for the first time in twenty years the fierce rivals agreed upon something: that neither would be the one to report this horrible bit of news. Instead, they would work together and would themselves escape the castle, for they believed their chances of survival would be greater in the wild than in close proximity to an angry King Krool.

  It wasn’t until nearly an hour later, at the changing of the guard, that Krool finally learned of the prison break, and he predictably spun into a violent rage.

  “How?” he demanded of his four most trusted guards as he paced around his palatial sleeping chambers. Krool punctuated his question by thrashing a washbasin with the nine iron he kept beneath his pillow for self-defense. The ceramic bowl exploded off its stand, shattering and skittering out across the marble floor. “How did this happen?”

  “Weldon and Morgenstern,” replied the terrified men. “They’re missing as well, I’m afraid.”

  “Double-crossing backstabbers!” Krool swung the club again, this time knocking over an entire suit of armor that had been standing next to the door. “I want them found,” he fumed. “I want my prisoners and those two traitors hunted down like dogs!”

  The four men just stood, looking somewhat confused and hesitant.

  “What?” Krool demanded.

  The guards exchanged looks, as a means of determining which of them would be the one to convey what they were all thinking. “Yes, Your Highness,” volunteered the man with the sideburns. “We’re not sure how we should . . . what I’m trying to say is . . . it’s just that we’ve never hunted dogs before. I mean, it’s generally not an accepted practice. I’ve hunted foxes with the use of dogs, but hunting dogs just isn’t done, so we’re a bit at a loss as to how we would . . .”

  “Fine!” yelled the king. “Then hunt them down like foxes! Or rabbits, or badgers! I don’t care. Just find them and bring them to me. Alive. After all, we wouldn’t want me to miss out on any of the fun, now would we?” Krool sneered and kicked the helmet belonging to the suit of armor across the floor, out the door, and down four flights of marble stairs.

  By the time the resulting clang stopped bouncing off the castle walls, Elspeth and the others had reached the cliff and had begun zigzagging down the hillside, in search of Winkie’s cave. Earl Grey, with his keen sense of smell, led the way.

  “I don’t know why we have to stop here,” griped Elspeth. “The sooner we get back to the forest, the sooner we can get started with this whole stupid . . . rebellion thingy.”

  “I know you’re anxious to go home,” said Jill, “but crossing Torcano Alley at night is much too dangerous.”

  “But you’ve done it before, haven’t you?” Elspeth replied. “When you were looking for me . . . for your daughter, I mean. You said you went out at night and searched the entire kingdom.”

  “Yes,” Jill agreed. “But not without incident. We had many close calls, and poor Jack nearly lost his foot to a sinkhole full of lava.”

  Up ahead Jack’s hobbled gait was even more pronounced on the steep downward slope.

  “So that’s why he limps,” said Elspeth.

  “That’s why he limps,” said Jill.

  Elspeth decided that one night in Winkie’s castle away from home would be preferable to falling into a sinkhole, and so she argued no further for attempting a night crossing. The others followed as Earl Grey scampered up the hillside and into the cave.

  “Who’s there? Who is it?” echoed Winkie’s voice from the darkness.

  “It’s us,” said Earl Grey. “The conquering heroes have returned.”

  When Winkie spied Elspeth crawling into the cave, he emerged from the shadows, smiling broadly. “You’ve done it, Earl,” he exclaimed. “You pulled off the rescue.”

  “Yes,” said Earl Grey angrily. “And at four for the price of one, I might add.”

  “Four?” Winkie replied. He then watched as Jack and Jill and finally Georgie crawled into the cave, which may have been suitable lodging for a man of Winkie’s stature, but add four mice, three regular-size adults, and an eleven-year-old girl, and things were more than a little cramped.

  Despite the issue of overcrowding, Winkie seemed delighted to have them, with one notable exception. “Well, look who’s here,” he said, glaring at Georgie. “If it isn’t little Georgie Porgie puddin’ and pie.”

  “Hello, Winkie,” said Georgie.

  “That’s King William to you,” said Winkie with a snarl. “You’ve got a lot of nerve showing your smug little face around here.”

  “Okay, you’re obviously upset with me,” said Georgie. “But what was I to do? I had to stay behind. Krool offered me a big promotion with a sizeable increase in salary. I would have been a fool not to take it.”

  “Then what are you doing here now?” Winkie demanded.

  “Uh . . .” Georgie’s eyes shot around the cave as if looking for an answer etched upon the walls. “I would like to be able to say that I’ve seen the error of my ways and have come to my senses,” he muttered. “But the truth is, I’m . . . I’m here not so much by choice as by necessity. You see, Krool has declared me an enemy of the Crown and was planning to have my head chopped off.”

  “And what makes you think I won’t do the same?”

  “Because,” said Georgie softly, “you’re not like him. He’s a monster.”

  “That’s right,” said Winkie. “A monster that you helped create and unleash upon the world.”

  Georgie seemed genuinely puzzled. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said.

  “Don’t you?” said Winkie. “Strange then how Krool and his men were able to gain access to the castle on the very night you were on duty. And a mere coincidence, I suppose, that the day he replaced me upon the throne you just happened to be made his personal assistant.”

  “I admit it looks bad,” said Georgie, “but I have no idea how he and his men got in and that’s the truth.”

  “You wouldn’t know the truth if it slapped you in the face,” said Winkie, fighting a strong impulse to do just that.

  “I never did like him, just for the record,” said Gene.

  “Okay,” said Georgie. “It seems as though you all have your minds made up about me. But regardless of what may have happened in the past, I’m here to offer my help. To do anything I can to get rid of that tyrant.”

  “I’m not interested in your kind of help,” said Winkie, folding his arms and turning his back on Georgie.

  “Hear that?” said Gene. “He’s not interested.”

  Georgie sighed and nodded his head slowly. “All right then,” he said. “Good luck to you all. And thank you for saving my life. At least temporarily.”

  As Georgie backed his way toward the cave entrance, Elspeth half expected Jack or Jill to stop him or for Winkie to change his mind. When neither happened, she said, “Hold on.”

  “Yes?” Georgie asked.

  But Elspeth turned her attention not to Georg
ie but to Winkie. “He did help us escape the castle,” she said.

  “He helped himself,” said Winkie. “You heard him. He did it to save his own head.”

  “He does know a lot about Krool,” said Elspeth. “And about the castle. The inner workings, schedules, things like that.”

  “He can’t be trusted.” Winkie finally spun around for the purpose of giving Georgie one final dirty look.

  “Maybe not,” Elspeth agreed. “But we have no choice. Defeating Krool without his help might be impossible. And if I’m the one supposedly leading this uprising, then I say he stays.”

  Winkie dropped his arms and shook his head. To Jack and Jill, he said, “Your daughter is very stubborn.”

  Jill smiled. “I prefer the word ‘spirited,’” she said.

  “Excuse me,” said Georgie, not wanting to interrupt but also not wanting to remain half-inside the cave and half-out. “It’s just that I’m not sure whether I’m supposed to go or . . .”

  “You’re staying,” said Elspeth. “You are now an official member of my military advisory committee.”

  “Fine,” Winkie responded. “But if he double-crosses us, I’m holding you personally responsible.”

  “He won’t double-cross us,” said Elspeth. “Will you, Georgie?”

  “Of course not,” said Georgie. He spoke with a smile that looked cunning and smarmy, just because that was the only way Georgie knew how to smile. “If I were going to double-cross you, would I have helped you escape? If not for me, you’d probably still be there.”

  “If not for everyone involved,” said Earl Grey.

  “Yes,” said Elspeth, thinking of another who had been part of the rescue but not of the celebration. “I’m afraid I have some bad news as well.”

  “Bad news?” said Winkie.

  “Fergus,” said Elspeth. “He attacked the guards so we could get away. I’m afraid he wasn’t so lucky. He made what we call in chess a positional sacrifice.”

  “Oh dear,” said Winkie. “That is most dreadful news. So now you understand how important it is to rid the world of that awful Krool.”