Seize

by Clarissa Wild

  I’m really losing any sense of what’s right and wrong.

  As I grasp the knife and feel the metal against my hand, I take a deep breath. I take it from him, holding it tight in my fist, feeling the power that it gives flow through me. A thought whispers in my mind. Stab him. Kill him. End it all.

  I ignore the voice. Now is not the time.

  Tucking the knife into my pocket, I say, “I’m ready. Whatever you have planned, I’ll come with you, but only if you promise me that you will punish them.”

  The corner of his lip curls up into a smile. “If you cut them, I’ll crack out the whip.”

  Laughing, I shake my head, and remind myself this is no time for jokes. It’s time to get the hell out of here.

  “Help me hide the body,” he says, pointing at the man on the floor.

  I grab the man’s legs while Sebastian hoists his arms up, and we drag him toward the chair. There, I pull the curtain until it’s closed. The only thing we can still see are his toes, so I quickly shove those under, too.

  “What’s going on in there?” I suddenly hear. It’s the guard outside. Sebastian holds his finger in front of his mouth, telling me to be quiet when I gasp.

  “She fell. But don’t worry, I have her. Please get a wheelchair,” Sebastian calls.

  “Oh, of course. Right away.”

  I hear him scurry off and look at Sebastian, who has a stupid grin on his face.

  “What a fool.”

  “Nah, he’s not that stupid. You’re just too good at spinning lies.”

  He smirks. “Aren’t I?”

  I roll my eyes and grab my glass of water to take a last sip before we get out. Sebastian walks to the door, leans his ear against the wood, and listens. It’s quiet for a few seconds. “He’s coming. Go sit down on the couch and pretend you’re sick.”

  “Right.” I sit down and lower my eyelids halfway down, sagging into the pillows like a potato.

  Just before the man knocks on the door, Sebastian opens the door, staying behind it to hide his disguise.

  The man carries in the wheelchair and smiles at me. “Here you go, ma’am.”

  He looks around. “Where’s Mister Brand?”

  Sebastian slams the door shut and knocks this guy out, too. We hide this body under the curtains as well, and Sebastian administers the same shot he gave the doctor.

  “Sit in that wheelchair. When I’m ready, I’ll push you out of here and pretend that I’m taking you back to your room.”

  “As my doctor.”

  “Right. If anyone sees us, play along.”

  “Gotcha.” I nod and sit down in the wheelchair. “But what if they find out?”

  “Then we make a run for it.” He steers the wheelchair toward the door. “You might have to use that knife I gave you.”

  I gulp at that thought but quickly regain my focus. No time to think about anything. Sebastian’s already wheeling me out of the room, taking it slow so nobody will notice we’re trying to make a run for it. He nods and smiles at passing nurses, and I cough when they look at me. I pretend I’m sick while Sebastian guides me through the halls, into a more secluded part of the hospital, where he finds an escape exit. Of course, it won’t open easily. Surprisingly, a lock that’s identical to the one in Sebastian’s home is right next to the door.

  “Hold on.” He leaves me in the chair while he hurries to the door. He puts his thumb on it, and, not so surprisingly, the door opens.

  “Going for a smoke?”

  I turn my head in shock.

  Newman is right behind us—with a gun in his hand.

  And it’s aimed straight at Sebastian.

  Accompanying song: “Breath of Life” by Florence and the Machine

  Sebastian turns and freezes. For a second, nobody says a word. There isn’t even a flinch.

  Then Newman fiddles in his pocket.

  “Hubert, don’t,” Sebastian says.

  Newman laughs, taking a cigar from his pocket. He puts it in his mouth and then lights it, still keeping the gun pointed at Sebastian. “Well, I’d say you’re in a tough spot to make demands.”

  “I’m getting her out of here.”

  “Not going to happen.” He blows out some smoke in my face. “Such a pretty girl. I can understand why you’d want her all to yourself.”

  “Leave. Her. Alone,” Sebastian growls.

  “What are you going to do about it?” Newman scoffs. His hand moves toward my face. Creeped out, I stand up from the wheelchair, which rolls back as I step back.

  “Oh, look at that … she can walk.” He smiles. “Isn’t that convenient.”

  “Don’t you fucking touch her.”

  “Oh, and here I thought that you would finally share her.”

  “Not a chance.” Sebastian grinds his teeth.

  “Are you sure? I mean, I could let you walk … if you let us play with her.” There is a devilish gleam in his eyes that makes my skin crawl.

  “Touch her and I’ll fucking end you. Right now.”

  Sebastian’s assertion of his sole right to claim me makes my heart thump in my throat, his dominance overpowering. Overwhelming. I feel myself trusting him more; I feel protected by his insane need to declare his ownership of me.

  “I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing, but I’m not going to be part of it any longer,” Sebastian says.

  “Like you have a choice.” I hear the gun click as Newman readies it to fire. “Such a pity that you won’t share her. Alas, I knew it would come down to this someday.”

  Sebastian’s eyes narrow as he furrows his brows.

  Newman … Hubert … laughs again. “Don’t be so surprised. I’ve known you were trying to game us for a long time. Pity those fools wouldn’t listen to me.”

  He must mean the others, but I’m a little taken aback by the fact that he calls them fools if they’re supposed to be a ‘club’. I guess they truly don’t care about anyone but themselves.

  “Those fools have more decency than you will ever have. And that says a lot,” Sebastian sneers. “I’m done. I’m taking her and I’m getting far away from all of this.”

  “And you think that I would just let you leave?” Hubert cocks his head. “You seem to be under the impression that you have a say in this matter.”

  He flicks his gun. “Keep tempting me, Sebastian. Keep pushing me and I might put a bullet in your balls rather than your brain.”

  “You know that you won’t come out of this alive if you do.”

  “And why’s that?” He laughs. “I hold the gun. I hold the money. I hold the power.” He stares at Sebastian intently, narrowing his eyes. “You have nothing.”

  “I have her.”

  “You wish! You think you can just take her and leave? You think we’d allow you to step out of our club, just like that?”

  “Yes, because I don’t think you want more mess on your hands.”

  “I don’t care about any mess,” Hubert scoffs.

  “But do you care about your pride? Because right now, you’re the lowest of the lowest of scum.”

  “Fuck you!” Hubert spits, squeezing his gun tight.

  Sebastian holds up his hands. “I only want her. Just let us leave. I won’t follow you. I won’t have anyone hunt after you. I’ll leave all of you alone, and you’ll leave me alone, and we can continue our lives the way we want without each other.” Sebastian’s voice is calmer than I expected. Calmer than I could muster. I’m fuming right now, contemplating whether to kick him in the balls or make a run for it. I’m very tempted … but I know it wouldn’t stop Hubert from pulling that trigger, which isn’t right. As much as I hate Sebastian for what he did, I don’t want him dead.

  At first Hubert’s eyebrows rise, then his lips, and then he bursts out into laughter. “Jesus Christ, that’s a good one.” He can’t seem to catch his breath. “You know what … you deserve it.” He rummages in his pocket. A cigar comes out. “You think you’re a big boy? Here, catch.”

  Time
slows down. The cigar flies through the air, and Hubert raises his gun to shoot. He throws the cigar at Sebastian, catching him off guard. All it takes is a second. A second where Sebastian moves. Where his eyes leave the gun. Where his body is vulnerable.

  Hubert will gun him down.

  The first thought that crosses my mind is that I can’t let it happen.

  I throw myself at Hubert, lunging at him with full force. Right before he pulls the trigger.

  We smack to the ground. The loud bang that follows has my ears popping. A beep ensues. All I hear are mumbles and the bullet ricocheting off the wall. Hubert pushes and shoves me aside, and I fight him with every ounce of my strength. Sebastian comes running toward us, but I’m way too busy trying to get Hubert off me. Sebastian hangs around his neck, trying to pull him away from me, but they’re equal in strength. Hubert’s on top of me now, pressing the gun into my scalp. In an effort to protect myself, I do the only thing I can. What I remember. What I was instructed to do.

  I pull out the knife from my pocket and shove it deep into his abdomen.

  He growls and jerks, pulling up his knees as the knife lodges deep into his body.

  Sebastian pushes him off me and kicks him in the nuts, causing him to clutch his crotch and whimper. He quickly grabs my hand and pulls me up. I put my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath. Staring at the floor, I feel sick. I just rammed a knife into someone’s body. I will never forget the feel of the steel puncturing flesh.

  “We have to go,” Sebastian says.

  “Yeah.” He pulls me with him through the door.

  “What about your knife?” I ask in a haze. It’s silly that I even think of it, but I know how much it meant to him. It was what he used to hold power over me.

  “Not important.”

  I’m surprised it comes so easily to him. A month ago, he would have been pissed off if he’d lost it.

  “I have you now,” he says. “And you’re safe. That’s far more important than anything else in the world right now.”

  I don’t know how to respond to that, although I do feel some unwanted warmth flowing in my chest.

  We rush through the door and suddenly we’re outside. The breeze and fresh air hit me and I feel free. Alive. Adrenaline rushes through my veins. I can’t run far enough, can’t jump high enough, can’t scream loud enough. This world needs to know that I’m here, that I’m free, that I won’t let myself be ruled by my past, and that I’m coming for them.

  Sebastian throws off the doctor’s coat, letting it blow away with the wind. He leads me down a fire escape and onto the street. There, we call a cab and jump into the first one that stops.

  I’m out of breath and tired, forcing my eyes to stay open by gazing out the window. We briefly stop at a shop to buy some proper clothes for me to wear before getting back into the cab. Sebastian doesn’t seem to want to waste any time, although I wonder where he’s taking me. If we’re running from them, I even wonder if there’s anywhere we can hide.

  “Where are we going now?”

  “Not home,” Sebastian says, gazing out the window as the car starts to drive. “That’s the first place they’ll look.”

  I swallow. It must be hard. He just lost access to everything he has. He can’t go home. They’ll probably freeze his money. Someone will come hunting for us. It’s like we’re jumping into a canyon without a safety net.

  And he did it all for me.

  He risked his job, his livelihood, and even his very own life to save me. To bring me peace.

  Granted, he was part of the cause behind my trauma and struggle. But he rescued me. Ultimately, he chose for the good side. That has to mean something.

  “I’m sorry about your house,” I say. “You probably won’t be able to go back there ever again. I hope your files are safely stored somewhere else.”

  He snorts. “I’m lucky that I thought to save them on a different server. They’re my only means to put an end to this now. Although I have no clue on how to move forward now.” He looks at me and smiles. “I have to admit, I’m a bit lost in terms of solutions right now, but at least I got you out. I have you back. That’s all I need.”

  He scoots closer and puts his arm around my shoulder. Pulling me closer, my head rests on his chest. “I’m sorry you had to endure such hardship. I will make it right with you. I want to see you smile again, and I’ll stop at nothing to make you happy. Telling the truth is the first step, but you will not like what I have to tell you.”

  He gives me a featherlike kiss to the temple. “God, I couldn’t stand one more minute of not having you for myself and away from them. My precious little fairy is mine and I won’t share her with anyone.”

  “And yet you did. In the hospital. I know they were there, I could see them.”

  “I know. For that, I’m sorry. I’ll make sure they are punished thoroughly one day.”

  “One day …” I nod, staring at my trembling hands.

  “One day could come very soon,” he says, looking down at me. “I’ll do everything in my power to make it happen.”

  “What about you? Who will punish you for all the things you’ve done?”

  He frowns, biting his lip for a second. “I will leave that up to you.”

  “You used me. You debased me. I didn’t know it was you back there until you whispered in my ear. I was terrified.” My hands are shaking now. “How could you do that to me? How could you agree to that?”

  “I know, there is no excuse, but you have to know they would not tell me where you were. You were at a different hospital and they would only take me there themselves, so they could keep an eye on me. Hubert even wanted to participate as they suggested I’d continue my assignment.”

  “And your assignment … it was always me, wasn’t it?”

  “Yes …” He sighs. “The books have to be reenacted, and my scenes were that I had to fuck you until you hated me. Until you grew insane from it.”

  “That’s sick …”

  “Yes, it is. Hubert picked the book for me. He always had a penchant for driving people mad. He liked seeing me suffer. Never trusted me. For the right reasons, of course, but I would’ve loved to see it differently.”

  “Yeah … I would’ve loved it if everything in my life wasn’t so screwed up either. That Ashley and I hadn’t been ‘chosen’ by your sick little group. I wish my father hadn’t been killed by my mother. And I wish that I hadn’t known my mother died … twice.”

  He gazes at me with his lips parted. “Twice?”

  “Yes. She was there, in the hospital, Sebastian. I saw her … I talked to her. I was in shock. And then she told me that she killed my father. I wanted to die, right there.”

  He places his hand over his mouth, but he doesn’t speak. Not even a breath of air comes out.

  “Newman, Hubert, he was there and made me remember. He drugged me, forced me back into my room, and then jokingly told me that my mother had hung herself.”

  “Oh, no …” Sebastian pulls me closer, wrapping his arms around me. “I’m so sorry, little fairy. Nothing I say or do will make this all right.”

  “I don’t know how to feel. I’m so lost right now. My mother is dead, and I can’t decide whether I love her or hate her. When she told me that she murdered my father because Hubert told her to, I almost wanted to choke her myself.” I sniff, burying my face in his shirt. “I guess that’s why she killed herself.”

  “She probably did it because she couldn’t live with the guilt. Because she didn’t want you to suffer any longer.”

  I snort. “It tore open old wounds and left more scars in their place.”

  “I’m sorry; I should’ve known they kept her alive. But I didn’t know; I wasn’t there during that particular clean-up. They did it behind my back, probably so they could use her as a tool against you … Those sons of bitches …” Sebastian makes a fist. “I’ll get them.”

  “What do you mean you should’ve known that they’d keep her alive? You didn’t kno
w where they’d bring me?” I ask.

  “I didn’t know what facility, no. There are a lot. I did know your mother was in there, though.”

  “Wait, there are more?” I move away from Sebastian. “How do you know all this? I was shocked when Newman could enter and go wherever he pleased and that nobody seemed to care. And the nurses and doctors weren’t acting normal either. They drugged me and chained me up. This isn’t normal. All of this …” I sigh. “There’s something you’re not telling me.” I look him straight in the eye. “I think it’s time you told me everything because I’m not going anywhere with you until you do.”

  He licks his lips. “Ah … how can I ever refuse you?” he says. “You bring out my sins, which I know you will hate me for. But I will tell you. After all, a promise is a promise.”

  “Why do you have access to the hospitals like that? Why did you all put my mother and me there? And what about Ashley? You were able to unlock the doors like you owned the place …”

  “That’s because we do,” he interrupts. “The buildings, the people. We own everything. But it’s all a lie. They are not real hospitals. They are prisons for our victims so we can train them to believe they are insane and use them … again and again …”

  My heart stops. I can’t believe what I’m hearing.

  It’s all a lie.

  Which means I was right all along.

  I was never insane. They just made me believe that I was.

  “Yes …. This is the hideous truth, Lillith …”

  “You purposefully―wait … what? What did you call me?”

  “You heard me … Lillith.”

  I gasp, moving away from him.

  “You remember my name … You only called me that when we met in the hospital.”

  He knows my name.

  I only told him once.

  He remembers it. That’s only possible if … if he knew it all along. What happened in the hospital was real. It wasn’t a dream or an illusion; it was all real.