Dark Love

by Olivia M. Howe

  "I will be here for you through it all."

  "I love you, Andrew."

  I start walking inside my house and just as I'm about to shut the door, Andrew yells, "Always and Forever."

  CHAPTER 27

  The Decision

  Dear Diary,

  My mind feels desolate and blank at the moment, but at the same time if feels like it wants to burst into flames. I have a life altering decision to make for not only myself, but also for my little sister. I think it would be selfish if I don't take in consideration my sister's well being. I can't let her end up as a vampire for the rest of eternity. I'm supposed to watch after her and protect her. Would it be selfish if I said that I'm having a lot of second thoughts about being a vampire? What if I don't want to be a vampire? I haven't stopped and thought about my own well being.

  Sometimes you have to do things that you don't want to do in life. Obstacles will stand in your way of accomplishing choices in life. I need to relieve my sister of immortality. I can't let the thought of my sister eat me up inside. I have to turn into a vampire and become a vampire- healer. It just has to happen that way. I'm all out of choices.

  Love, Nina

  * * * *

  I wake up to Lilah's face. She's sitting on the end of my bed, just staring off into space. I look up at the clock and it's 7 a.m. What's she doing over at my house so early and why is she sitting on my bed in my room? No one sane gets up this early on a Sunday! "Is everything OK, Lilah?" I try to get out over my yawn.

  "I'm an early bird. I've been waiting for you for an hour!" Lilah says in a vivacious and scintillating voice. How can anyone be this cheerful and captivating in the morning? I never thought it was possible. Kali isn't even this happy in the morning time.

  "You've been here since six? How did you even get inside?" I speak as I'm still half asleep.

  "Your mom leaves a spare key under your door mat outside."

  "How did you know that?"

  "I'm thousands of years old. I know every trick there is in the book. Every normal human leaves a spare key under their mat." I think she might be watching too much television with Ella.

  "Why must you be here at seven in the morning? Can't you come at like ten or twelve like a normal person?"

  "I'm not a normal person though," Lilah jokes. She's absolutely right about that one. "I just came by to see how you're doing."

  "At seven in the morning?" I laugh. "I'm not doing that great. The vampire- healer thing has been on my mind non-stop. It's like I can't get it out of my head. It's driving me nuts."

  "You know, being a vampire- healer is not as bad as everyone makes it out to be. You won't be like me or any of the other vampires. You would be special," Lilah admits.

  "How?" I ask curiously. What would be so special about being a vampire- healer? I would still be a blood thirsty vampire and I might go off the deep end and kill a bunch of innocent human beings to fulfill my appetite.

  "A vampire- healer isn't like any normal vampire. They have more special abilities than just regular vampires and healers alone. You have the speed and strength of a vampire. You have the healing ability of a healer. You don't only have to rely on drinking blood to survive. You still have to consume some blood, but you can still live off of human food. You can walk in sunlight. You live an immortal life. It's the most rare and special combination. It's something to be honored, not looked down upon."

  I can walk in sunlight and I don't have to rely on human blood to live. I would be really strong and fast. I wouldn't have to rely on Andrew to save me every time I was in trouble. The fainting spells when I get overwhelmed would most likely come to an end. It's not all bad, but I would be immortal and live for the rest of eternity. I would have to watch my mother and friends die. I couldn't go through something like that. I want to grow old with someone and sit in rocking chairs together in our living room. I want to watch my kids grow up to be successful people. I also want to watch my grand kids grow up and experience life. I can't have all of those wishes if I turn into a vampire or stay with Andrew.

  "I don't look down upon vampires. I just have this life I want to live and I'm going to miss out on it if I change. I know I have to do what's right to protect my family. I just don't feel responsible enough to make a decision that will alter my life forever," I say as tears slip out of my eyes. I hate crying all the time and I especially hate crying in front of other people. I don't want them to see me as a weak person, but lately the tears won't stop coming.

  "Let it out, sweetheart. You've been through too much these past few weeks!" Lilah pulls me over to her and hugs me tight. She embraces me with the kind of hug that makes me feel like I want to cry even more and smile at the same time. She hugs me like she truly cares about me. I don't get those kind of hugs to often.

  "I wish the answer to all of my problems would come flying out of the sky and hit me on top of the head," I cry.

  "Well, I have news for you that might make you feel much better," Lilah announces.

  "What?" I ask.

  "Caroline wants to talk to you. Actually, she's been begging to talk to you." That information didn't just make me feel a little better, it actually flipped my whole day around. I thought I was going to have an abominable day, but my sister has been begging to talk to me. It's going to be a pleasant day if she doesn't attack me again.

  "Does she really?" I ask in disbelief.

  "Yes. I wouldn't lie."

  "But, she attacked me the other night."

  "The first night was the hardest for her, it is with all newbies, but she got the hang of everything pretty quickly. I know you don't want to hear this, but she actually seems like she's enjoying herself sometimes. She has just been hounding us to see you and talk to you. She has cried a few times."

  "Let's go," I say as I jump right out of bed. I find a pair of jeans laying on the floor in my room. "Come on, Lilah."

  "Wow, your moods change quickly. A second ago you were kicking me out of your morning and now you want me to come with you. Not OK," Lilah laughs. I would have joined in and laughed with her, but I'm in too much of a hurry to even think about laughing.

  "Funny. Let's go," I announce as I start to walk out of the room.

  "Are you being sarcastic because you didn't even laugh? I was trying to make a joke and you ruined it."

  * * * *

  I know I said I was going to knock before I entered Andrew's house every time, but I changed my mind. I rush through the front door of the Madsen residence and Andrew meets me at the door. He seems a little flustered seeing me because he asked me to stay home for the weekend to let Caroline get used to her vampire ways. I just couldn't help myself My little sister has been begging and crying to see me. No one is going to stand in my way of seeing her. "Where's Caroline?" I ask in a hurry.

  "Slow down, Nina. Just sit in the living room and I'll go and talk to her." Andrew's about to walk to William's room when Caroline's standing right behind him.

  "Lynns," I say as I'm about to run up to her and give her a hug. Everyone jumps in between us and keeps us apart.

  "You two need to keep your distance away from each other. Let's go sit in the living room and put you both sitting down across from each other," William announces. Who put him in charge?

  Lilah, Ella, and William are holding Caroline by her arms and shoulders. Andrew and Abel are sitting next to me just in case Caroline gets out of the grips of the others, which would never happen. I don't see Julian around. He's probably off somewhere feeding. It is breakfast time.

  "I'm so incredibly sorry, Nina. I can't explain what happened to me. This urge just took over my body and I lost all control," Lynns cries.

  "It's OK. I completely forgot about that," I lie.

  "William filled me in on everything." My eyes grow big. Everything? "How long have you known they were vampires?"

  "I've known for a while now," I speak the truth.

  "Why didn't you tell me?"

  "I was trying to do the right thing
and protect you."

  "How long have you known you're a healer?" Lynns asks.

  "A while," I speak the truth again. Caroline shakes her head at me in shame.

  "I thought we could tell each other everything."

  "I had to protect you. I regret not telling you now. Look what happened to you because of me." I hold back the tears because I still need to be strong for my sister

  "This isn't your fault. You didn't plan this. You didn't do this to me."

  "I'm sorry."

  "How long have you known about Scott?" I'm surprised when she says Scott instead of Dad. William must have told her.

  "What about Dad?"

  "The reason I'm not a healer. Don't play stupid with me, Nina. I understand why you didn't tell me about vampires and tell me about you being a healer, but you couldn't tell me that Scott isn't my real father!" Caroline yells. Anger is covering her face.

  "I didn't want to hurt you," I say as I fight the urge to let the tears fall. I don't like seeing Caroline like this. She has never acted like this toward me. I have never seen the way her emotions change in her face. I don't like to see Caroline like this. "I'm going to change all of this, anyway. I'm going to make everything better."

  "Nina, you can't make anything better. You don't have a magic wand in your hand that makes the world the way you want it."

  "I decided to change into a vampire- healer. You can be human again." Caroline just stares at me for a moment in shock.

  "No, I won't let you."

  "The decision has already been made," I announce to everyone sitting around us. "It's happening whether or not any of you want it too!"

  "Don't be stupid, Nina!" Andrew yells.

  "I'm not being stupid. I can transform my sister back to human. I can heal her!" I yell back at him.

  "Please, don't do it!" Caroline says as she tries to get on her hands and knees. "I beg you, Nina. I can get used to this whole vampire life. I'll be able to spend the rest of eternity with William. I don't want you to ruin your life to protect me! I won't let you either!" Caroline yells and runs out of the room. William and Ella chase after her.

  "Do you not hear yourself?" Andrew stands up and starts to walk away from me.

  "You would do anything to protect your family!" I yell as I let the tears fall down my face. Andrew whips around and walks back toward me.

  "You're so stupid." I thought Andrew was going to yell, but he said it in his normal talking voice.

  "Change me," I ask.

  "Now, you're just talking crazy. That's a pathetic joke!" Andrew raises his voice.

  "I'm serious. I want you to be the one that changes me," I talk back to him.

  "It's time for you to leave, Nina." Andrew begins to walk away from me.

  "If you don't do it, then I'll find someone who will."

  "No, you won't," Andrew says as he doesn't turn his back. He keeps walking slowly out of the living room.

  "Carina would love to be human again!" I yell.

  Andrew runs back toward me and is now in my face. "Stop being so damn pathetic! I'll make sure she doesn't abide by anything you offer her!" Andrew growls.

  "Change me," I ask again. Andrew stands there and shakes his head. "I'm not trying to get you upset, but I'll find someone that will change me and you know I will. I don't want it to come to that decision. I want you to be the one, please."

  "Let me take you home." Is all Andrew manages to get out.

  * * * *

  The car ride home is quiet. I think Andrew is thinking hard about what I said. I want him to be the one that changes me. If I have to resort to a different option, I will. Even though I will hate myself inside for all eternity. "You can't stay silent forever." As the words leave my mouth I know that it's a lie. He could definitely stay silent forever.

  "I just don't want you to ruin your human life. You have so much to look forward to that vampires can't experience."

  "I talked to Lilah about vampire- healers. They're different than normal vampires. They're special. I think I could still have a chance at living a normal and happy life."

  "You've done some thinking," Andrew notices. I have done so much thinking because I know what I need to do. I know what needs to be done.

  "Just at least give me the benefit of knowing you'll think about it?"

  Andrew takes a few minutes to think about it. He doesn't say a word until we pull into my driveway. "I'll think about your request, but It's going to be a few days because I really need time to think this over, Nina." I hug him as soon as the words leave his mouth.

  "Thank you. I just want to do this for Caroline. You know that if any danger came upon your family, you would react immediately to protect, no matter what the cost was."

  "That's why I just said I would think about your request carefully."

  I kiss Andew's soft lips. "I really do love you."

  "I will love you Nina Mckay for all of eternity."

  Andrew gets out of the car and opens the passenger door for me. He kisses me softly on my forehead and then even more softly on my lips. His kisses remind me of something sweet. "Always and forever," I say and walk into my house.

  "Always and forever, my love." As Andrew says that, I can't help but smile. I'm so lucky to have him.

  I walk into my house and run straight for my room. I shut the door quietly behind me. I strip out of all my clothes and throw on a big shirt. I jump into my bed and bounce around until I find a comfortable spot to rest my body.

  My mind starts to race, like always. I cannot stop thinking about the fact that I will soon be a vampire- healer. At this point, I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing.

  CHAPTER 28

  The Runaway

  Dear Diary,

  It's like three o'clock in the morning. I've been tossing and turning all night. I can't seem to sleep at all. The thoughts won't go away. They won't stop. Something just doesn't feel right in the pit of my stomach. I don't know what it is or what it means, but I know it's something bad. It feels like all this madness that's happening around me is just the beginning. That scares me so much because if this is just the beginning, then I'm sure the future isn't too bright for me. I just want to wake up tomorrow morning and think, "Today is going to be a good day. Today will be better."

  Love, Nina

  * * * *

  Laying in the dark with my eyes open is eerie. It feels like I have lost my sense of sight. I wonder if this is how blind people see, just pitch black. I feel remorse for them. Sight is the most important sense. If I didn't have it then I would feel disoriented. I would feel like the world around me didn't exist, it's just black.

  I keep tossing and turning. I switch my position at least every couple of minutes. I can't seem to get comfortable. I just want to sleep and dream of a world that doesn't exist, a happy one.

  I try to close my eyes, but the thoughts won't stop. The piercing thought of my sister being a vampire is haunting my thoughts. It won't go away. I think it's going to eat me up inside until I help her and turn her back into a human. At least one of us will be able to live a totally normal life. I'll never have that blessing because I'm a healer.

  I can't take the thoughts exploding through my head anymore! I need out!

  I leap out of bed and slip my shoes on. I sneak down the stairs as quietly as I can. I don't want to wake my mother up. She would be beyond disappointed to see me sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night on a school night.

  I find a piece of paper and a pen. I write my mom a note telling her that I left to school early this morning. I don't want her to freak out when she finds me missing from the house when she wakes up.

  I grab my keys and open the front door slowly. The door starts to make noises, but it's almost silent.

  I run to my car because I hate the darkness that fills the outside. Who knows what other creatures live among us. There could be werewolves jumping out of the forest on the side of my house. They'll probably eat me and I can't have that happen. I
have way too many problems to deal with already.

  I turn on my car and start to make my way to Andrew's house on this dark, sleepless night.

  * * * *

  I wonder what Andrew's going to think when he sees me crawling into bed with him at this time of the night. The last time I saw him I was asking him to turn me into a vampire. The word still gives me the chills. I don't think I'm ever going to really be able to get used to this. I really do wonder what other creatures live among us out there.

  I try to sneak into Andrew's house, but I already know that I'm probably going to end up waking up the whole house. I really hope that isn't the case. Why do vampires have to have super sonic hearing?

  I try to shut the front door behind me as quietly as I can. The Madsen family definitely needs a new front door. I'll try to remember that when Christmas comes around. This one makes way too much noise.

  Just as I turn around, Lilah is standing right there in front of me. "Jeeze!" I yell and jump backwards against the door. "Next time can you like give me a hint that you're behind me, like cough or something."

  "You're the one sneaking in the house in the middle of the night. Where have you been, missy? You have school tomorrow." Lilah jokes. That was a good interpretation of my mother. She wouldn't sound so nice about it though.

  "What are you doing awake?" I ask.

  "Besides the fact that the front door jumped me out of bed, I'm a night owl. I always have been," Lilah confirms. Maybe next time I'll definitely think about using the back door or even climbing through a window.

  "I'm sorry. I just couldn't sleep at my house," I explain. "Wait, you're a morning and night kind of vampire? That's different."

  "Yes, I am. I'm just a special kind of vampire." Lilah laughs. "So, you wanted to come and cuddle with Andrew?" Lilah asks as she has a humorous smile on her face.

  "You caught me." I smile back.

  "Well, I should probably get some sleep. You two be good in there," Lilah jokes.