sometimes following you dreams means breaking your heart

by Claire Gough

  He smiles at me one last time before he slips out of my room. It feels like I’m sinking into the mattress. It seems heavy and lonely without him here. I sigh.

  Get used to it, Alex. This is going to be your life after tomorrow.

  “Morning, Alex,” Brad says cheerfully as I walk into the lounge.

  I frown. How did he get here before breakfast? Then my eyes widen.

  “You only just got back, didn’t you?” I ask, standing at the table where he's sitting. He smirks. Knowing Bailey, I understand that look. He's still in the state of euphoria she usually leaves men in.

  “Yeah. I usually leave when Bee starts to get ready for work.”

  I feel slightly awful. He has seen my best friend more than I have this week, and he has probably seen more of her than I’d ever want to. I'll catch up with her once the guys leave. I know I’ll need her more than ever then.

  “Well, I’m not set up yet, but fancy a coffee?” I offer.

  He grins. “Sounds good.”

  I walk into the kitchen and turn everything on, including the radio. I can’t do my job without music. While everything heats up, I make Brad his coffee. As I walk back into the lounge, my heart speeds up when I spot Mitch. He hands some paper to Brad, then looks at me.

  “So, you ready to put me to work?” Mitch smiles.

  I nod as I place the cup in front of Brad. He moves the papers and puts them on his lap.

  “Yes. Your apron’s waiting for you.”

  Mitch slides his hands around my waist. “Sounds like the perfect way to start the day,” he breathes. His breath is warm on my mouth just before his lips brush mine. I groan. I hear Brad cough loudly as he picks up his coffee.

  I pull away from Mitch. “I have a pair of Marigolds I think would suit you, too.”

  Cooking with Fin was definitely a great way to start the day. He put my apron on, even though I told him I was only joking. He sang along to every single song that came on. Music must really be like an outlet to him. I can see why, too. After his birth parents hurt him so deeply, it must have left a huge void in his life, so he turned to music.

  After breakfast, we took the radio around to each of the rooms as we cleaned. Again, Mitch sang every word. He has a lovely voice. I kind of wish I could hear him sing his own lyrics.

  Right now, I stand in front of my wardrobe, a towel wrapped around me, remembering the whole day with Mitch. It could very well be our last. That thought makes me wince. I hate that I might have to say goodbye to him tomorrow.

  My thoughts are interrupted as my bedroom door opens. I jump, frowning.

  “Mitch?” I ask, very aware I’m only in a towel and my hair’s still damp.

  He's wearing his jogging bottoms and a grey t-shirt. He doesn’t look at me as he walks in shuts the door.

  “I know we’re supposed to be getting ready for our lunch date, but in the interest of not letting you out of my sight, I decided to get ready down here.”

  He places his folded clothes on the end of the bed, then turns to look at me. His eyes widen.

  “Woah…,” he breathes, his eyes raking over me. I suddenly feel self-conscious, which is stupid. He has seen me naked many times in the last few days. “Lexi, you are beautiful.”

  He walks over to me and reaches out to my face, his fingers brushing down my cheek. Smiling softly, he moves a piece of hair from my cheek and tucks it behind my ear. He leans toward me and kisses me softly.

  When he pulls away, he rests his head on mine, his golden eyes looking into mine. Clearing his throat, he turns and walks to the pile of clothes on my bed.

  “So, I brought a couple tops down. As my girlfriend, you get to dress me.”

  He freezes. The word “girlfriend” stuns us both. We stand still, like neither of us know how to react. Do we talk about it or just let it go?

  I decide to just let it go, it’s for the best right now. “Okay. If you promise to take it seriously, you can dress me, too. Seeing as you picked the place, I have no clue what to wear.”

  His shoulders relaxing, he turns to me and smiles. I’m sure it’s fake, but I’ll take it over talking about our feelings.

  A slight frown on my face, I watch Mitch drive. He hasn’t asked me for directions yet.

  “Do you know where we’re going?” I ask.

  He grins. “I do indeed. I looked it up.”

  I frown even more. I thought we were just going on a random lunch date, but it seems like he researched it first. I look him over. I love the look of the navy blue shirt I chose. As usual, he's rolled the sleeves up to the elbows. Unfortunately, it’s cloudy today, so he doesn’t have to put on his sunglasses. Those would make the outfit. I look down at the cream blouse, blue skinny jeans, and white heels Mitch chose for me. I think he picked well for a lunch date.

  He pulls the car up in a little car park on one of the back streets near Central Pier. I am stunned and confused. He went and thought this up, but I still have no clue where we’re going. Climbing out of the car, I take his hand as he leads me down the street.

  “Here.” Mitch stops walking in front of a pub named Molloys. “You shared memories with me, so I wanted to share some more with you.”

  He looks up at the building, then back at me. “Collin and Faith Finnley, my mom and dad, would take me to this little Irish bar in Dalham, O’Malley’s, on special occasions. I loved it. Every time they took me there, I’d order the same thing—Spaghetti Bolognese with garlic bread. I loved it so much, it became a regular thing on my birthday.”

  He smiles. “As you might have guessed, my dad is Irish. We all loved that little pub. It was run by this little Irish family, so we all grew attached to it. You asked me my favourite places in Cowley, but I didn’t have any. I did have some back in Dalham. I know this isn’t O’Malley’s, but it’s the closest Irish bar I could find.

  I bite my lip as I think of little Mitchell Finnely in the Irish pub, all happy and excited as he eats.

  “This is perfect,” I whisper.

  “Really?” he asks, sounding shocked.

  “Absolutely. This is the perfect, I got to learn more about you. I never thought you’d let me in, so this is perfect.” My voice is so full of emotion right now. He shrugs like it’s nothing.

  “It’s not much, but it’s something.” He rests his hands on my hips.

  “Well, it means a lot to me.” I kiss him softly. Smiling, I grab his hand. “Come on. Let’s see if they have Spaghetti Bolognese on the menu.”

  Because the outfit he picked out for our date was perfect, I let Mitch choose my outfit for the gig tonight, as well. I look down at the same black dress I wore on Thursday. I tried to tell him that everyone already saw me in it, but he put up a good argument, saying he loved the dress because I wore it when he didn’t expect to see me there. Plus, I looked sexy in it.

  So here I am, all dressed and ready to go. I fiddle with the huge gemstones on the high collar of the dress as I look at myself in the mirror. The fairy lights make the moisture in my eyes sparkle.

  “Okay, here are your options.” Mitch appears in the doorway behind me. He's in black jeans…and nothing else. It makes my mouth go dry. “This one…” He holds up a navy blue polo shirt, which I remember he wore when I took him to Lytham. “Or this one.” He holds up a black button-up shirt. I definitely remember him in that. He wore it clubbing Friday night. If I had my way, I’d go with that one. I loved him in that shirt.

  “Can you even drum properly in this?” I ask, stepping forward and taking the black shirt between my fingers.

  He shrugs. “Yeah. I mean, it’s not the most comfortable, but I also remember your face when you saw me in it Friday.” He smirks

  “I did love it.”

  “Then it’s decided.”

  He slides the black shirt off the hanger and pushes his arms into it, then starts to button it up. I watch him roll up his sleeves. I don’t know which is sexier—Mitch topless or Mitch in this shirt. He looks sophisticated, yet mischievous. I t
hink the stubble and the rolled-up sleeves give him that edge. I cock my head to the side as I watch him tuck the shirt into his black jeans. I take in every detail. I’m going to miss these moments the most.

  “What do you think?” he asks, putting his arms out to his sides and turning around for me to inspect.

  “Perfect.” I smile and move to my mirror to add the finishing touches to my makeup.

  I don’t know what sort of deal Mitch has struck with the guys, but we’re somehow left to walk to the pub on our own. The rest have gone to set up without him. He must have a lot of respect for them to let them set up his drum kit.

  Mitch opens the door to the bar and holds it for me. The warmth seeps out as I walk inside. He places his hand on the small of my back as we move through the crowded pub. I see the stage straight ahead, the bar to the left. The familiar drum kit sits on stage already, the words “The Dukes” on them. It makes me smile.

  “Alex!” I hear a familiar scream from the bar.

  “I’ll be back in a moment. I just want to check my kit,” Mitch says into my ear. He kisses my cheek and walks off to the stage.

  “Alex!” Bee squeals happily as she runs up to me and hugs me tightly. I breathe in her familiar perfume and smile. I’ve missed her. She lets go of me and grins, then gasps. “You’ve slept with him!”

  My face drops. “What?” How the hell does she do that? “No, Bee. Really. I—”

  “Oh, come on, Alex. This is me you’re talking to. There’s no point in denying it.”

  I frown at her. How is she so sure of herself? I feel strange, not like myself. I would normally argue that she was wrong just so I wouldn’t have to hear her say “I told you so”. She knew I’d break my rules. Usually, being right would be so important to me, but it’s just not right now.

  “Two mornings in a row, Brad’s gotten back to their room, but Fin hasn’t been there, so I’m guessing he was with you.”

  I bite my lip and try not to grin. “Yes, he was with me.”

  Bee squeals. I have never seen somebody so happy to hear their friend got laid. She throws her arms around my neck, hugging me with so much force, I’m sure she’s about to snap my neck.

  “He really cares about you, Alex,” she says, stepping back and rubbing her hands up and down my arms. I frown. The only way she would know that is from Brad, so what the hell has Mitch said to him?

  “Everyone keeps telling me that!”

  “Um, maybe because it’s true, dumb ass. Come on. You need a drink.” She links our arms together and drags me to the bar.

  “What can I get you ladies?” the barman asks, looking at me.

  “Don’t drink,” a voice whispers into my ear. I shiver as Mitch’s hand lands on my back.

  “What?” I turn toward him slightly.

  “Don’t drink.” He shrugs. “Have a Coke or something.”

  I frown. Bee and the barman stare at me, waiting.

  “White wine, please,” I order Bee’s drink, still trying to work out what Mitch is up to.

  He leans toward my ear. “Remember what I said Friday night on the stairs when we got in?”

  I think back, remembering the conversation.

  “If anything were going to happen between us, do you really think I’d want it to happen when you’re drunk? I’d want you to remember every single second of it.”

  I lean on the bar for support. Mitch is planning something for tonight…because it might be our last night together.

  “Anything else?” the barman asks, setting the wine in front of me.

  “Diet Coke, please.”

  I feel Mitch’s lips on my neck. “Thank you,” he whispers.

  I follow Mitch over to their table and take my seat, scooting my chair even closer to him. He slides his hand under the table and grasps mine, a bolt of electricity shooting through me. He laughs at something Cole just said, but I missed it. He turns to look at me briefly, the smile still in place. I know he felt that same jolt I did. He squeezes my hand tighter.

  “Looks like we’re up,” Cole says, taking a swig of beer. He puts the green bottle down and stands, walking over to the guy near the stage. Mitch turns to look at me.

  “Are you nervous?” I ask. I know I get butterflies every time I watch him go up on stage.

  “Actually, I am a little bit tonight.” He rubs his thumb over the back of my hand before standing and sliding out of his jacket. He tips my chin up, touching his lips to mine. He pulls away and smiles at me, keeping my chin in his hand.

  “Have fun,” I breathe out. He nods and heads to the stage.

  I don’t think I could ever get bored of seeing Mitch perform. He looks so carefree and natural. The smile on his face right now is much like the one I’ve seen in my room the past couple nights. He seems at peace, like being behind that drum kit calms everything in his mind for those few minutes. I’m glad he has that in his life.

  Cole steps up to the mic. “Hello, everyone. We are The Dukes. Thank you so much for having us here tonight. We plan on keeping you entertained for a while, so sing along, tap your feet, even dance if the mood takes you. Most of all, we hope you enjoy it.”

  Cole smiles as Fin starts the first beats of the song “Jailbreak” by Thin Lizzy. I bounce in my seat, while Bee moves around the table to sit in the chair next to me. People start singing along or bopping their heads.

  I try to take in every single detail of the night because this is probably the last time I’ll get to see them play live. I take in the smell of the room, the people, the volume of the music, the feel of the velvet seat under my thighs, the glasses and bottles on our table, everything.

  I look back at the stage. I wonder if it’s hard for him to drum in that shirt I picked out. If it is, nobody could tell. I watch his arms as he plays. God, he's stunning.

  I watch Brad playing guitar. He bites his bottom lip as he concentrates on every chord. It’s weird to see this side of him. He’s usually the goofy one who's always grinning, but on stage, he's completely different—more mature, more serious. I look at Bee, who’s also studying him. I wonder if she’s going to miss him or if he’s just another conquest. She’s a pro at saying goodbye to tourists, but I wonder if there’s more of a connection this time. Or maybe I’m hoping there is so I won’t be the only heartbroken one tomorrow.

  Jay stands on the left side of the stage, bopping his head as he casually strums his bass. He actually looks happy for once. It’s the happiest he's seemed all week.

  Cole, guitar slung around his neck, sings into the mic, gripping the stand with both hands. He’ll sometimes play the guitar, but it doesn’t look like he needs to for this song. He pushes one hand through his hair, then takes hold of the mic stand once more.

  I move my gaze back to Mitch. His eyes meet mine briefly and he smiles. I feel my heart melt and break at the same time. That grin has gotten me into so much trouble since the day I laid eyes on it, but now it means everything to me. It’s odd how much can change in a week.

  Once the song finishes, everyone claps.

  “Thank you.” Cole beams. The other guys reach for drinks. Fin looks at me, just to make sure I’m still watching, his crooked grin spread across his face when he realises I am.

  Brad starts playing the first few cords of what I recognise as Guns N’ Roses “Welcome to the Jungle”.

  Before Mitch walked through the door of the B&B, I had an average life. I worked hard, saving every penny I earned to put into my savings for my own B&B. My idea of fun was to stay in with a book, or going to see Bee, who would tell me everything she had been up to, which was always more exciting than what I did. Now it feels like it’s all changed. I now know what it feels like to have a real connection with someone. I don’t know if I can move on from that. I think I could have gone my whole life and not cared about guys at all, as long as I had my work and Bee, but now… Now I’m not so sure.

  I was right when I thought Mitch would be trouble. He really has been…in more ways than one. I stare at hi
m beating the hell out of the drums, a carefree smile on his face. I wouldn’t change one single second of our time together. From the first moment I saw him in the store with that boob hat in hand, to him punching the jerk in the face Friday night, to telling me his name, me breaking my rules with him, and crying on his shoulder about my parents.

  Tears fill my eyes as I remember probably the best week I’ve had since my parents’ deaths. I am so glad I made the decision to give him a chance. It’s going to hurt like hell when he leaves, but not experiencing this whole week with him is unthinkable now. Bee squeezes my arm excitedly. I smile at her the best I can as she rests her head on my shoulder.

  The guys start singing their original songs, and I listen intently. I am an emotional wreck right now! I can now connect the lyrics to bits of Mitch's past. There’s such anger in some of the words. I watch as he mouths along, still smiling. Music really is his escape from everything he keeps inside.

  When they finish the fourth of their own songs, everyone claps. I look around, smiling. I can’t even imagine how that must feel to Mitch. To have everyone appreciating the lyrics he wrote.

  Cole steps up to the mic, waiting for the applause to die down. “Thanks, everyone. This next song is a new, rather important one. It’s for Alex, a very special friend of the band who’s sitting over there.” Cole points toward me.

  I rest my hand over my heart, feeling it hammering against my chest, as I frown up at the stage.

  “Alex, this is for you. It was written by...” He smirks. “Well, I think you know who wrote it. It’s called ‘Electricity’.”

  I stare at Fin, who's nervously scratching the back of his head, the drumstick still in his hands. I bite my lip, tears filling my eyes yet again.

  The guys start to play. It’s quite upbeat. Brad plays a few cords, then Fin starts on the drums. Bee squeezes my hand, making me look at her. She’s grinning excitedly. Something tells me she knew this was going to happen.

  “Summer girl, I wish you knew the electricity that flows when I’m with you.