For Keeps

by Rachel Lacey

  Merry felt a bittersweet tug in her chest. Her friend looked happy, radiantly happy. And as much as she missed Cara, Matt was the one who had given her that glow, who had convinced her to let go of her fears and start reaching for her dreams. “I’m really happy for you. You know that, right?”

  Cara bumped her shoulder against Merry’s. “I know. And planes go both ways, right? Come visit us. I hear fall in New England is gorgeous.”

  “Okay. Count me in. I’m sure I can find someone to watch the dogs for a few days.”

  “Maybe that hunky cowboy of yours could do it.” Cara’s eyes gleamed with curiosity.

  “Yeah, did I mention he’s afraid of dogs? And that he’s not actually my cowboy?”

  “No, but you’re going to fill me in on everything, and I do mean everything, this weekend.”

  They walked outside, and Cara turned her face toward the sun with a blissful smile.

  Merry scrunched her nose. “Really? The humidity?”

  Her friend nodded. “I really missed the humidity. Hopefully it’ll be a brutally hot weekend that frizzes my hair and gives me a sunburn and makes me ready to go home.”

  “Home?” She hadn’t quite expected to hear Cara call Massachusetts home, but she supposed it was true. Her friend didn’t live in Dogwood anymore.

  “Yeah,” Cara said with a thoughtful expression. “I guess it is home now.”

  They chatted all the way to Merry’s house, catching up on everything they’d missed in the four months since Cara had left.

  Ralph nearly turned himself inside out at the sight of one of his favorite people, and the puppies were euphoric over meeting a new friend. Cara rolled her eyes at their names. She preferred human names on dogs, while Merry preferred the cutesy names that made people smile. Half the time their new owners changed them after they were adopted anyway.

  When they’d calmed down, Merry handed out chewy treats so that she and Cara could sit and chat. She went to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of chardonnay. “Our own precelebration celebration?”

  “I love the way you think.” Cara flopped onto the couch and put her feet up. She accepted the glass of wine Merry held toward her and tapped her glass against Merry’s. “To best friends.”

  “To best friends,” Merry repeated. “You know, the last time you and I toasted, it was New Year’s Eve, and I wished for a steamy new romance for you.”

  “And it came true.” Cara smiled as she sipped her wine.

  Merry sat at the other end of the couch and curled her feet under her. “And then some.”

  “And now, my dear, I think it’s your turn.”

  * * *

  “I’m telling you, Cara. We’ve got another FMH situation on our hands.” Olivia tipped her martini in Merry’s direction with a dramatic sweep of her eyelashes.

  “If I don’t get a look at this cowboy before I go home on Sunday, I’m going to be so sad.” Cara made a pouty face.

  “Oh, for crying out loud.” Merry wanted to be annoyed—she really should be—but she was so happy to be out with Cara and Olivia that she really didn’t care if they ribbed her about T.J. all night.

  She would happily endure whatever they wanted to dish out.

  With its soft lighting, jazzy music, and a plentiful variety of delicious martinis, Red Heels was their go-to place whenever they needed a girls’ night out. Merry hadn’t been here since Cara had left town, and she missed the place dearly. Her friends even more.

  “What if, and I’m just thinking out loud here, but what if we all got too drunk to drive home, and we had to call T.J. to come pick us up?” Cara asked the question with wide-eyed innocence, then she and Olivia dissolved in a fit of laughter.

  Of course, Cara and her sister had notoriously done just that a few months back. Cara had to call Matt, the hunky PI she’d been falling for at the time, to pick them up, and Merry wasn’t sure what happened next, but it wasn’t long after that Cara and Matt were hopelessly in love.

  “Ha ha,” Merry said. “We’ll call a cab.”

  “Well, just FYI, Dogwood Taxi stops running at midnight.” Cara took another sip from her martini. “But anyway, back to this FMH situation…”

  FMH was a term Cara and Olivia had coined back in college to covertly describe a man they found to be “fuck me hot.” T.J. certainly fit that bill, except Cara’s FMH guy had ended up being the one who put a ring on her finger, and Merry didn’t like the possible implications for her own relationship.

  “Oh.” Olivia’s eyes brightened. “Are you coming to the exhibition on Sunday? You can meet him there.”

  “What exhibition?” Cara asked.

  “It’s an end-of-camp thing for the kids to show off for their families. You’re spending Sunday with your family so I didn’t mention it,” Merry said.

  “Well, if it’s my only chance to meet T.J., then I think I have to be there.”

  “Oh, you need to be there,” Olivia said with a nod. “Wait until you see the way these two look at each other.”

  “Ooh.” Cara’s eyes widened. “I’m intrigued.”

  Merry rolled her eyes. “We have chemistry, whatever. We’ve already been there and done that.”

  Olivia choked on her martini. She coughed and laughed until her eyes ran. “Oh yes, I saw all the smoldering looks. But lately it’s more lovey-dovey than that.”

  Now it was Merry’s turn to choke. “Lovey-dovey? Have your lost your mind?”

  Cara just sat there, looking like a kid on Christmas morning. Merry could practically feel the excitement radiating off her.

  Olivia grinned. “When you’re not bickering like an old married couple, that is.”

  “Oh, my God.” Cara twirled on her stool. “I knew something was different about you. Are you falling for him, really?”

  Falling? She’d already crash-landed. “We’ve had some… moments.”

  “Moments?” Olivia waggled her eyebrows, then polished off her martini.

  Cara touched Merry’s shoulder. “You look like I just asked if you have an STD. What’s so bad about falling for a guy?”

  Merry shook her head. “I don’t want to get married and have kids. I don’t want any of that.”

  “You don’t have to marry him. Just relax and see where things go,” Cara said.

  “He doesn’t even like dogs.”

  Olivia slapped the bar. “Are you kidding me? He may not love them the way he loves horses, but he’s been great with the dogs. He even fostered Amber for you.”

  “Okay, he’s great, whatever. Let’s talk about something else.” She turned to Cara. “How are wedding plans coming?”

  Cara’s expression softened. “Oh, it’s going great. Matt’s mom is a total sweetheart, and she’s been a huge help. I feel like family already. I can’t wait to make it official.”

  Merry gave her a quick hug. “Just promise my maid of honor dress won’t be bubblegum pink.”

  “I promise. I hate hot pink.”

  “What about you, Liv? Anything new and exciting?” Merry asked.

  Olivia shook her head. “I’ve been too busy to date. Between camp and work and my Facebook war against Halverson Foods, I’m pathetically boring.”

  Cara giggled. “I don’t think anyone involved in a Facebook war could be classified as boring.”

  “What’s the deal with that anyway?” Merry finished her martini and signaled to the bartender for another.

  “We sent some undercover people in there to make a video of them abusing their chickens, but apparently it wasn’t damning enough to get them shut down. They got a silly fine and promised to do better.”

  “That sucks.” Merry stared at her empty glass. “But if anyone can make things happen, it’s you, Liv.”

  “Speaking of Facebook, have you had any luck with TBR’s page?” Olivia asked.

  Merry scoffed. Her new martini arrived, and she sipped it gratefully. “It’s a total waste. I get more people trying to surrender dogs than donate money.”

&nbs
p; “Are donations down?” Cara asked.

  Merry stared into her drink. “Donations are practically nonexistent right now.”

  Cara rested a hand on her shoulder. “What’s going on?”

  She heaved a sigh and took a fortifying swallow from her martini. She could shout from the rooftops when the dogs needed something. Asking for help for herself? That was a lot harder. “The rescue is broke. I don’t know what to do.”

  “Oh, my God, Merry. I had no idea! What happened?”

  “I got lazy, that’s what. About a year after I founded TBR, someone starting sending an anonymous thousand-dollar monthly donation.”

  “What? Who?” Olivia asked.

  Merry shook her head. “I have no idea. But that money kept us afloat all these years, and then about seven months ago, it stopped. And I realized I had no idea how to actually raise enough money to keep the rescue going on my own.”

  Olivia slapped her arm. “Girl, why didn’t you tell me? Give me access to your Facebook and Twitter, and I’ll get things going for you.”

  “It’s not that easy. I’ve tried.”

  “No offense, but you probably don’t know what you’re doing. Let me try.”

  Merry shrugged. “Well, it can’t hurt. Thank you.”

  “No problem. I’m happy to help.” Olivia clinked glasses with her. “And I’d way rather manage your social media than foster for you, no offense.”

  They all laughed.

  “Let’s talk about these anonymous donations,” Cara said.

  Olivia swirled her martini. “Yeah, really. A thousand dollars a month? That’s a lot of money. Who do you think it was?”

  “I have no idea. I tried for years to figure it out. Probably it was someone who adopted from us, or maybe even someone who surrendered a dog and then felt guilty.”

  “How about I have Jason look into it? I’m sure he could trace the money and find out who it was,” Cara offered. Jason was her fiancé’s brother and a genius at cyber-sleuthing.

  “Sure, if he’s not too busy. It would be nice to know.”

  “Consider it done.”

  Merry took another sip from her martini and drew a deep breath. She’d opened up, and her friends had jumped in to help. “You guys are good friends, you know that?”

  Olivia grinned. “Oh, we know.”

  They all raised their glasses and clinked them together. Maybe, just maybe, they’d even be able to help her save Triangle Boxer Rescue.

  * * *

  Merry and Cara made it home safely—before midnight—courtesy of Dogwood Taxi. They changed into their pajamas and settled on the couch to counteract the night’s drinks with some water before bed.

  “I’m getting a weird vibe from you tonight, Merry.” Cara gave her a long look. “Whatever it is, spill it while you’ve got me here on your couch in person.”

  Merry took a deep breath. She and Cara had met through Triangle Boxer Rescue several years after Tyler’s death, but she’d never shared her loss with any of her friends. Since opening herself up to T.J., she’d realized she had been wrong to keep Tyler’s memory to herself. “There’s something I should have told you a long time ago. I don’t know why I never did.”

  Cara nodded. “Okay. So tell me now.”

  Instead of telling her, Merry went upstairs and got the picture of Tyler from her bedside table. She brought it downstairs and handed it to Cara. Her friend gazed at the photo and then at Merry, a look of pained understanding on her face.

  That was the thing about best friends. They knew you so well that you didn’t even have to explain yourself. But she did anyway. She told Cara how she’d accidentally gotten pregnant while she was in nursing school, how she’d struggled to care for a colicky baby while keeping up with her classes. How she’d fallen asleep, and her son had paid with his life.

  “Oh, honey.” Cara wrapped her arms around her. “I am so, so sorry for you. I can’t even imagine what you’ve been through.”

  Merry dashed a runaway tear from her cheek. “I guess I thought, if I didn’t talk about it, it would be easier to forget.”

  “You’ll never forget him, sweetie. He’s a part of you. He’ll always be a part of you.”

  Merry hugged her knees. “I’m sorry I never told you.”

  “Don’t be silly. We all grieve in different ways.” Cara stared pensively into her glass. “I have to say though, this explains a lot.”

  “How so?”

  “I could tell there was something holding you back. You’ve been blaming yourself for a long time for something that wasn’t your fault.”

  “But it was my fault. I fell asleep. I didn’t check on him.”

  Cara took her hands and looked into her eyes. “He would have died even if you’d checked on him every hour. SIDS just happens.”

  “The nurse in me knows that, but the mom in me also knows that I failed him. Mother’s intuition or whatever. Mine didn’t work.”

  Cara shook her head. “You are such a hypocrite.”

  “What?”

  “All those years you lectured me about being afraid to live my life when you’ve been doing the exact same thing.”

  She sucked in a breath. “It is not the same thing.”

  “Close enough. I was afraid I’d get sick again and leave behind a family. And you’re afraid to start a family because you think you failed your last one. You have to let go of that guilt so that you can be happy.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  T.J. was walking from his parents’ barn to the house when Merry’s CR-V pulled into the driveway. His mom had invited everyone involved in the camp to Sunday brunch before the exhibition, but he hadn’t been sure Merry would show after the way they’d left things.

  Bless her heart, his mom had even tried to get her to come to church with them that morning. The look on her face when he’d passed along the invitation had been priceless.

  Nonetheless, here she was.

  And she wasn’t leaving without agreeing to see him again.

  She stepped out of her SUV in a knee-length pink sundress covered with little white flowers, her hair loose and wildly curly, the way he liked it best. His gaze fell to her pink-jeweled sandals. He ought to give her a hard time for wearing shoes like that to a horse farm, but she’d dressed for brunch, after all, and besides, the sandals were sexy as hell.

  She was the vision of a girly-girl right now, and she’d never looked more beautiful. She lifted her eyes to his and smiled, and he forgot to breathe for several long seconds.

  “Mornin’,” he said when he’d finally managed to fill his lungs with air.

  She fidgeted with her fingers, adorably nervous about being here. “Can’t remember the last time I had Sunday brunch. I’m usually stuffing a granola bar in my mouth on the way to work.” Merry had taken today off on account of the exhibition.

  “Enjoying it?”

  “I think I’m going to. And I can’t wait to see the kids this afternoon. They’re going to make me so proud.”

  She’d stopped a few feet away, but he closed the gap between them and took her hand. “That they are. Want a quick tour before we go inside?”

  “Sure.” She fell into step beside him as he led her toward the barn.

  “You took off pretty quick on Friday,” he said.

  “Sorry about that.” She looked over at the pasture to their right. “I had to pick up a friend at the airport.”

  “So we’re okay?”

  She lifted her shoulders. “If by ‘okay’ you mean we agree to disagree on basically all the important stuff, then sure, we’re fine.”

  And there it was, the elephant they’d been tiptoeing around ever since their blowup over the missing money. “Look, I shouldn’t have said that about you completing camp to my satisfaction. You’ve earned your donation, fair and square.”

  “Good to know.” Her eyes shuttered. Yeah, he knew damn well what she wanted him to say, and there was no way he’d give his permission for her to talk to Noah about that
money.

  She pulled her hand from his and walked ahead of him into the barn.

  “This is the broodmares’ barn,” he told her as they stepped inside. “Most of them are out in the pastures right now. Dad will bring them in later this afternoon to have a look at everyone, especially the ones with nursing foals. This is Comet. She came in lame last night, so they kept her in today.”

  The beautiful gray mare stuck her head out of the stall for a rub. She nuzzled his pockets, looking for a treat. He fed her a carrot.

  “She’s beautiful.” Merry stroked her face.

  “She sure is, but she’s not the most gorgeous lady in the room.” Now that they had the privacy of the barn, he drew her in for a lingering kiss. He ran his fingers over the soft linen of her dress and felt her shiver beneath his touch. “I’ve gotten used to you in jeans. I forgot how pretty you look in your girly dresses.”

  “You’re looking pretty hot yourself.” She tugged at the collar of his shirt.

  Here she was, about to have Sunday brunch with his parents, and he had no doubt she was going to fit right in. He’d been so very wrong about her when they first met, wrong about a lot of things.

  Holding her in his arms felt right. He felt truly calm for the first time all week, like he’d found his center here, with Merry. He’d thought it might be something more dramatic, like a bolt of lightning or a slap to the head, but instead it was more of a gradual awakening. Something he’d known for a while but hadn’t realized what it was.

  Right there, in the barn where he’d grown up, with her arms around his neck and a horse peeking over her shoulder, T.J. knew for sure that he’d fallen in love with Merry Atwater, girly shoes and all.

  His arms tightened around her. “Stay with me tonight. Please.”

  She shook her head, her hazel eyes troubled. “I can’t. My best friend is visiting from Massachusetts. She goes home tomorrow.”

  “Then tomorrow night.” He wasn’t letting her go, wasn’t letting her walk out of his life after the exhibition this afternoon.

  “I work a twelve-hour shift tomorrow and the next day.”

  “Then let me stay at your place tomorrow. I’ll let you get some sleep, I promise.”