Love Notes

by Heather Gunter

  While this may be the normal routine at my house, it still hurts. Someone who hasn't experienced what I have might think I could just “buck” up and get over it. I can just hear them now, “You’ve been through this your whole life just get over it.” However, it's not as easy as one might think. Yes, this is normal practice at my home in regards to comments from my dad about my appearance. But you never become completely numb to it. It’s impossible. I never like dad to see me cry, but his words send me very close to the edge, especially with bringing up his view that the rose could have been a joke. For just a little while I got to feel happy. That someone actually liked me, for me.

  “Well Charlie, I’ve had enough at looking at you. Get to your room and do your homework until dinner is ready. Since it was school related I will let you off for being late home this time. But that’s it.”

  I turn around and walk into the kitchen to grab a glass. He may think the rose was a joke but deep down I know it wasn't. It means something to me. I quickly grab the glass fill it with tap water and walk to my bedroom. I set the glass on my nightstand and place my beautiful rose in it. I grab my book bag, pull my iPod out of it and place into the player. And then I cry.

  Chapter 16-Charlie

  I never did speak to Tori last night. I didn’t even have the energy to pick up the phone. In fact, I fell asleep and never ate dinner. I woke up this morning starving and quickly got my butt up and ready for school. I may have glanced at my rose several times while getting ready. I look out the front window to see if my dad is gone and thank goodness, he is.

  I walk into the kitchen and grab a wheat bagel and some light cream cheese. See, I do eat, healthy, thank you. The house is unusually quiet. My mom must be gone as well. I love it like this. No worries for now. I finish stuffing my face, brush my teeth and head on to school.

  I pull into what I know deem as my parking spot since I have been parking in the same place all week long and notice a Camaro parked right beside me. Not only that, but I also spot a very good looking guy with sunglasses and legs crossed standing against it. Just like out of an 80’s movie.

  I instantly feel giddy, which is such a strange feeling for me. I’m nervous and happy to see him. I turn off the Jeep and hop out. Maverick wastes no time before starting to speak.

  “Did you get my rose? I was worried that it may not have been there after I left and someone may have stolen it.”

  I turn to look at him and throw my book bag over my shoulder to keep from showing an excited look on my face. I don’t want to appear crazy. I want to play this cool. Like these kinds of things happen to me all of the time. Oh who the heck am I trying to fool?

  “No, it was there, thank you. It was really sweet and unexpected.”

  “Do you have any thoughts about what I wrote,” he asks.

  This is where I have to build my nerve up and tell him what I feel. This is the hard part.

  “I have thought about it and I want to be your friend.” He looks a little dejected, but I’m not done. “I also want more, and I have feelings for you as well. I would like to try to be more. Oh, and I have not spoken to my parents about dinner, but I will.”

  So the thought of speaking to my parents about this scares the begeezums out of me. But it’s important to me.

  Maverick has an elated smile that shows off his dimples. He takes a step towards me and immediately grabs my hand. He puts his hand up in the air while holding mine, and asks, “Is this okay? Is this too soon?”

  I can’t seem to form any words so I shake my head.

  Maverick chuckles, “No it is okay or no it's too soon? Can I hold your hand?”

  I finally gather enough oxygen to murmur, “It’s perfect, Mav.”

  He lets out a heavy breath like he was afraid of it being too much for me, which makes me like him all the more.

  “I love when you call me that.”

  “Why?” I ask.

  “Charlie, I wish you could see what I see–you’re just perfect for me.

  “How can you say something like that in such a short period of time? You do realize I’m not perfect right? Not by a long shot.”

  But that’s where you’re wrong Charlie, you are, perfect for me. I don’t know how to explain it, but I just know I want to be with you. I feel this magnetism towards you that I can’t explain.”

  “I feel some sort of connection to you too Mav, but I certainly think it’s way too soon to feel like you just need to be with me. Let’s start with dinner and this.” I signal to our hands and bring them up some, “And take it from

  there. I can live with that, for now.”

  “Fair enough. When would be a good night this week for me to meet the parentals?”

  “As soon as I talk to them, you will be the first to know,” I jokingly say.

  More seriously I ask, “So you are truly okay with this?”

  “I already told you, I don’t care how we spend time together. Just as long as we do.”

  I squint my eyes up at him and try to sound kind of foreboding. “It’s your funeral.” Of course I can’t keep the smile off of my face as I say it.

  He throws his head back and laughs and then playfully grabs me around the waist. All traces of laughter, as well as our earlier conversation about going slow, flies right out of the window in a blink of an eye.

  I’m pressed firmly against him and place my hand on the hardness of his muscled chest. The nearness of him is intoxicating. My heart speeds up with the knowledge of what is inevitably going to happen next. Right now, I don't care how long I've known him or what the usual rules of dating dictate.

  We are staring at each other eye to eye. “I’m going to kiss you now Charlie,” Maverick whispers.

  At that moment, all I can do is nod. No words were going to be coming out of this mouth; it was going to be used for other things.

  Maverick moves his arms from around my waist, gently cups my face with his hands and tips my head back some. He places his lips on mine, and it was as if time stood still. His kiss starts out oh so slowly, and as we find our rhythm, it begins to increase in pressure and intensity. My arms, having a mind of their own, begin to wrap around his neck and pull him even closer, although I'm not sure how that is even possible. I honestly didn’t think we could get any closer together than we already were. Maverick kisses me like I am everything, like I was his last dying breath. I have never been kissed like this before.

  I finally draw away from him to catch my breath. “That was…”

  Maverick looks me in the eyes. “Wow.”

  I can’t help the giggle that escapes my mouth. “Friday, come to dinner.”

  “I have practice on Friday, how about Saturday night?”

  “Let's make sure Saturday night works for my parents, and I will call you.”

  “Let me have your phone so I can put my number in it,” he says. “Well I guess that would help,” I reply as I hand him my phone. He finishes putting his number in and hands it back to me. Then he slides his fingers through mine and reels me back in.

  “One for the road?” he asks with this cheeky grin on his face.

  I smile up at him, “How can I say no to that?”

  This time he encircles his arms around my waist and pulls me in nice and tight against him. It starts just like the first kiss, but this time there is a level of familiarity to it. It’s so easy to get lost in his kisses and forget where I’m at. I don’t think I could ever get enough of his kisses. I break away from him and slowly move back. “Okay Romeo, I need to get going.”

  “See you in History class, Charlie.”

  “Of course, should be fun,” I reply sarcastically.

  He doesn’t catch the last part. I’m looking forward to seeing him, just not the crap I will catch from some certain girls.

  I start walking away and decide to turn around. I catch him still looking my way, and I wave good bye to him. He looks serious until his eyes meet mine, and he throws a sweet smile, meant for only me. I quickly turn b
ack around, and I know he’s still staring at me as I walk away.

  I make my way into the restroom and stare at myself in the mirror just to make sure it was all real and not a dream. I touch my fingers to my lips which are plump from his kisses, recalling everything that happened. Never in my life have I ever been kissed like that.

  My face is pink flushed, and I look like I’ve been kissed thoroughly.

  Oh, have I ever.

  I walk to my locker to meet Tori and the moment she sees me, she smiles, like she knows something. If I’m not mistaken, she knows about the kiss. How she knows, I don’t know.

  With a massive grin on her face, Tori says, “Hey, Charlie. You’re looking mighty happy this morning. If I’m not mistaken, you’ve got an extra spring in your step.”

  I can’t help smiling back. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I then proceed to open and pull my books out of my locker.

  “Details Charlie, I need details. Don’t play games with me. I already know that you and Maverick shared your first kiss. It’s all everyone is talking about.”

  The smile instantly falls from my face. “What?” I hate being put on display and I guess I kind of figured that people would see, but I guess I didn’t think I would become the topic of gossip so quickly, if at all. What did I expect, kissing him in public?

  Tori throws her arm around me and gently squeezes my shoulder, offering me comfort, which I’m so appreciative of. “Don’t worry Charlie. He likes you and all the other girls are just jealous. That’s all. You have nothing to be ashamed of.” After we walk in silence for a moment, she grins wickedly at me. “Really, how was it?”

  I place a finger to my lips remembering the kiss as I reply, “It was, it was just perfect.”

  Tori squeezes me again. “Good, because you deserve it and he’s a good guy. I wouldn’t let my friend go out with a douche bag, now would I?”

  This girl, who took me in so quickly as her friend, has shown me more kindness in such a short amount of time, than anyone else ever has. Well, with the exception of Maverick of course.

  I smile at her, letting her know that her words are appreciated.

  All of a sudden her grin gets even bigger, and I see her looking behind me. I suddenly feel a presence lurking behind me.

  Then I hear the most uncommon words ever spoken to me, whisper in my ear, “Hey beautiful, ready to get to class?”

  It’s the beautiful part that has me stunned. I turn around surprised that he sought me out as well. He looks at me, like I’m something special. I’m still in complete shock, but I manage a small smile.

  He grabs my hand. “We’d better get going or we’re gonna be late.”

  I glance at Tori and say good bye and make plans to meet at our table for lunch. She just gives me a knowing smile and waves, as we walk away.

  The surprise on Miranda and Ashley’s faces the moment that Maverick and I walk into history class together holding hands is one for the record books.

  I feel a little timid, but Maverick never wavers, pulling me along until we reach our seats. I feel completely and utterly giddy on the inside. I’m not a mean person, but I really can’t help but enjoy knowing that Maverick and I walking in together was sticking it to them. He’s proud to be with me and it’s so new for me.

  For the millionth time, I wonder what it is he sees when he looks at me, because I sure don’t see it. However, I’m trying not to focus on that, I’m just going with it. I want to experience this feeling as long as I possibly can and for however long we might have.

  Before I know it, class is over, and we head out together. Maverick grabs my hand again and walks me back to my locker, which has now become our meeting place.

  I see Tori leaning up against it. As soon as we reach it, Maverick says, “My friend Will, will be eating with us at lunch, if that’s ok?”

  I glance at Tori, who looks a little surprised at first, but immediately masks the surprise and puts on a different face. “Sure, the more the merrier,” she quickly responds.

  At that exact moment, I spot a tall good-looking blonde who looks familiar, walking towards us. Before Maverick can say anything, he introduces himself. “Hey Charlie, I’m Will and I’ve heard a lot about you and I do mean, a lot.”

  All of a sudden Maverick reaches his hand out and smacks Will directly in the back of the head. Will grunts in response, but then smiles and winks at me.

  I catch Maverick shake his head, look at the ground and under his breath I could have sworn he whispered, “Dick,” which makes Will smile even wider.

  “It’s nice to meet you Will.” He seems very friendly, outgoing and his smile is contagious. I can tell I’m going to like him immediately.

  He then turns his body so he’s looking directly at Tori, “Hey, how’ve you been?”

  She seems uncomfortable, and is trying to look everywhere, but at him. She finally gives in and stares directly at him. “I’m fine. Let’s go eat.”

  Abrupt much?

  Okay, now I know there is a story here. I have just witnessed something between these two. Not sure what, but I’m not going there. Last conversation didn’t go so hot.

  Lunch at first, feels like you could cut the tension with a knife. As we’re talking, I notice that Tori refuses to converse solely with Will. She’s a yes or no answer girl, which I’m not used to when it comes to her and talking. That girl loves to talk.

  Before I know it, lunch is over, and it’s time to go. No more classes with Maverick until we meet for choir.

  Right before we head off into different directions, he looks at me intently, like he’s thinking hard. “Can I kiss you?”

  I’m a little concerned about this, mainly because of the gossip already going around. He senses my hesitation, “Charlie, I don’t care what anyone thinks. This is about you and me and no one else.”

  At that confession all of my doubts in that moment falls away, and I whisper, “Yes.”

  He smiles so sweetly, and leans over, giving me the sweetest of kisses. It isn’t hot and heavy, but it speaks volumes of him. He cares about my feelings.

  We part ways and head off to our own classes. I wish the day will hurry up, when I’ll see him again.

  Chapter 17-Charlie

  The day passes in a blur, especially choir, and before I know it, it’s time to go home, or basically to Hell.

  I’m determined to have the talk with my parents about Maverick coming over. I know this is the only way I will ever be able to be seen with him, outside of school.

  It’s definitely not a conversation I am looking forward to. I can only imagine the grief I will receive. I honestly don’t want Maverick to know of the anguish I will probably, undoubtedly receive just by asking to have him over.

  After school, I told Maverick I had to go straight home and that I would see him tomorrow. I didn’t need to give my dad any more ammunition or any more of a reason to say no.

  As soon as I get home, I know I only have an hour before my dad will be here. I go ahead and focus on homework–one less thing to mess with, as I wait for him to come home.

  The moment he steps into the house, my stomach sinks to the floor. I never have to hear his car pull in. I just always know when he’s home, almost like I have a sixth sense about it.

  Time to plaster on the smile. Mentally preparing myself to speak with Dad is exhausting. I decide to gain some brownie points and help with dinner. I walk into the kitchen and spot my mom stirring whatever is in the pot. I decide to hit her up first without my dad and see where it leads.

  Can’t hurt.

  “So um Mom, I was wondering if I could have a friend over for dinner sometime this weekend.” She stops stirring and stares at me with a surprised look.

  “What?” is all I can muster in response.

  “Well, you never want to have anyone over,” she says and then she gets it. I can see it finally click. “Oh, you want to have a boy over for dinner?”

  “Um, yeah.” I say, and that’s when
I start rambling and trying to justify him to her. “He’s a really great guy, you would like him.” And then I proceed to go on and on. I don’t think I’m actually helping my case, but then Mom surprises me by saying, “I don’t see a problem with that at all. Your dad probably won’t like it, but he’ll get over it.”

  Not going to lie, I’m a little stunned, but I’m also giddy on the inside–truly.

  “Okay, when this weekend?” I ask. “He has practice on Friday, so it would have to be either Saturday or Sunday.”