Love Notes

by Heather Gunter

  Tori walks over to my bed and places her hand in mine. “When I was trying to get in touch with you, your mom answered your phone. Your mom said that you were in the hospital, I was so scared. I didn’t know until I finally arrived that you were safe. I mean, she said you were, but I needed to know for sure. I don’t know what I would have done if anything had ever happened to you. We may not have known each other long but it feels like I’ve known you all my life.”

  She doesn’t wait for me to respond. “Charlie, you know he will be fine, right?” I look at Tori straight in the eye, “I hope so.”

  Waiting for my mother to come back in, so I can find out about Maverick, is the worst kind of pain. Everything runs through your mind.

  Before I got in the Jeep, did I tell him that I loved him? Did he truly know how I felt about him?

  It seems like an eternity before my mother finally shows back up.

  “Well, what did they say?”

  She looks at me with a sad look in her eyes. “Charlie, he’s not good, he will eventually be physically fine. He has a lot of injuries. He has a concussion bruises and whiplash. To top it all off, his knee is hyper-extended in the accident and will require surgery.”

  This was all Greek to me. “Okay, what does a hyper-extended knee mean?”

  “Well, from what I understand, the impact from the accident caused his knee to be pushed inward causing it to be bent unnaturally. Charlie, this means that his chances for playing football are pretty slim. To be honest, he will probably never play football again. His career and hope for a college scholarship are over.”

  I close my eyes and keep them closed and just keep repeating to myself, “He’s alive, he’s alive. He will be fine, he’s alive.”

  I glance at my mother, “I need to see him mom. I need to see for myself, I have to.”

  “First, we need to talk to your doctor before we let you out of this bed and I honestly don’t know if they are allowing visitors. We need to check with his parents.”

  I love Maverick’s mother and know where Mav got his gorgeous blue eyes from. His father was just as wonderful. First time he met me I was on the receiving end of a huge bear hug. I loved them immediately and they were so welcoming of me. They would not allow me to call them Mr. and Mrs. Hardy. They were Robert and Carol to me. I knew they were the reason their son was the way he was. They raised him to be the perfect man.

  “Mom, please get that damn doctor in here and let's talk. I need to see Maverick as soon as possible.”

  I don’t normally say anything even slightly near a curse word to my mom but she doesn’t say anything and leaves the room to find the doctor.

  Chapter 27-Charlie

  He needs me and I should be there by his side. My heart feels as if it’s going to thump right out of my chest. I never doubted my love for him, never. I know without a shadow of a doubt that he has my heart and I have his. I’m just not sure how he’s going to take the news, and I feel like I need to be there with him. I’m scared, terrified and feel a mix of emotions. All of the thoughts are running rampant when my mom walks in, with an older looking Doctor with a kind face.

  “Charlie, My name is Dr. Bennett. You were brought in because you were in shock. I believe you witnessing the trauma of the accident and seeing someone who I’m told you are close to, sent you over the edge. I don’t see a problem with discharging you. However, I would like to keep you overnight just to make sure you get some rest. As long as Maverick’s parents are fine with you seeing him, I don’t see a problem with it. However, if you leave this room tonight, you are being pushed in a wheel chair and I don’t want to hear any argument.”

  Man does this dude mean business! I glance over at my mom, just waiting for her to tell me that I’m not going anywhere and she will tie me to the bed if I even think about leaving. Surprisingly she looks sad and tired and I don’t see a lot of resistance on her face.

  I’m not sure if it’s because of me, Maverick or the whole situation but I don’t think she’s going to fight me.

  “Mom, could you please help me?” I look up at her with pleading eyes just in case I’ve misread her and she thinks about telling me no. She walks over to the door and right behind it is one of those horrible wheelchairs that I know I am not going to be able to escape from riding in.

  “Thanks mom.” I stop and look up at her. I want her to know that it is truly appreciated. She wheels the horrible contraption over to me. I sit down and she places her hand on my shoulder, leans down and whispers in my ear. “I know.”

  This is the most I have ever connected with my mom. I can tell that she doesn’t take my feelings for Maverick lightly. I’ve never brought a guy home before, and I think she knows I wouldn’t, unless I had some serious feelings for him. I can’t help but tear up at the fact that she gets it and that I don’t have to fight with her. It’s the most significant conversation I have had with her in years. The saddest part is, it took my boyfriend getting into an accident to make all of this happen.

  Don’t think it hasn’t gone unnoticed that my dad’s not here and I’m sure as heck not asking where he is.

  “Alright Charlie, let’s go talk to Maverick’s parents and see about getting you in there.”

  I turn around completely forgetting that Tori is even in the room, she’s been so quiet.

  “Just so you know Charlie, you’re not leaving without me, I will be with you.” Just like Tori and her crazy self, she looks at my mom and says, “I’ll get her,” grabs the handles and starts to wheel me out.

  I honestly don’t know what I would do without her and I throw her a grateful smile.

  Apparently, his room is a floor down. The ride is excruciating. You know when you drive somewhere you don’t want to go and you get there so much faster, but then when you’re in a hurry and it’s as if time stands still and it takes forever? That is exactly how this feels.

  We finally stop at a door. I peek in and see his parents surrounded by a bed and what resembles a sleeping Maverick. He doesn’t look like my Maverick though.

  My Maverick is smiling, mischievous, playful and healthy. This Maverick is surrounded by sounds, noises, beeping and his face is swollen and he is cut up and bruised.

  My heart is aching.

  His parents glance up, when they finally notice me and his sweet mother smiles at me.

  “Charlie, you can come in, he’d want you here.”

  I don’t want to intrude or and be presumptuous so I ask, “Are you sure, I don’t want to intrude.”

  She just shakes her head like that was a very strange question to ask and signals for me to come closer.

  Carol glances at my mom, smiles and says, “Thank you for bringing her here. He would want her close by.”

  My mom looks uncomfortable as hell, showing a thin smile.

  Watching the strange exchange and slightly embarrassed with my mom’s behavior, I decide to quickly interrupt. Hoping I’m not coming across as rude, but ready to steer the conversation along.

  “Has he been awake at all?”

  His father looks at me with such sadness. “He was, but only long enough to ask about you and make sure you were safe.”

  My Lord, that is the kind of guy he is. Here he lays and the very first thought at the forefront of his mind, is me and my safety.

  I don’t even realize I’m crying, until Tori hands me a tissue.

  “Does he know anything, about his injuries and….stuff?” I can’t bring myself to say what I am sure everyone else is thinking. It makes it so final to say it out loud and acknowledge the fact that any career Maverick may or may not have had in football, is now completely and utterly over.

  His mom speaks up, “No we haven’t had that conversation yet. We will need to wait until he is awake long enough. The drugs they gave him for the pain are keeping him completely out of it. They want to keep him comfortable until they perform the surgery for his knee, which they will do first thing in the morning.”

  “Can I be here? Can I
stay?”

  His mom who has the kindest of faces smiles softly at me. “Charlie there is nothing that I or I’m sure Maverick would like more. You are always welcome, you’re family.”

  Hearing her say those words cause tears to free fall down my face. There is so much meaning behind them. I don’t think I could ever forget them.

  I glance around while I’m wiping my eyes, not wanting anyone to see how much those words mean to me. I notice my mom looking on, pretending that she never heard them, but seeing a look of disbelief flash across her face. The moment she catches me looking, her face changes to indifference. Like it never bothered her.

  Carol starts to wipe her eyes, when she speaks again. “He loves you and I know you know that. He’s never brought a girl home. So we knew when he brought you over so early in your relationship, that you are pretty special.”

  The only person to ever call me special is their son, who has had to just about drill that thought into me. I finally start to get it and see that it took Maverick getting hurt, for me to truly see and believe it.

  I turn to look at my mom and say, “I want to be here as much as I can, I need to be.” I’m not sure what kind of reaction I’m going to get and I am just waiting for an argument. “Please Mom.” I desperately plead. She sighs,

  “We will work something out where you don’t miss school work and make sure you can still be here as well.” I’m not expecting this reaction at all.

  I nod my head in understanding and agreement, “Okay mom.”

  “However, now that we've settled that it’s time to get you back to your room and back to bed, deal?” Who am I to question her at this point? I will do anything she wants as long as I get to stay and be here for him and with Maverick when he wakes up–anything.

  “Tori, will you please wheel me closer to the bed?” She doesn’t question me; she just knows what I need and what I want to do.

  I look at him closely seeing only ‘my’ Maverick and lean over giving him a chaste kiss on the lips. I then lean into his ear hoping that he can hear every last word I'm about to whisper as I tell him, “I love you ‘my’ Maverick.”

  I sit back down in the wheelchair and catch a glimpse of his mom and dad holding hands, his mom standing there with tears in her eyes. I don’t watch for long, if I do, I might start crying all over again. I don't need to do that. I need to be strong. He needs me to be strong.

  His mom walks over, lays her hand on my shoulder and gives it a slight squeeze. Something so small, means so very much. Just a small token of comfort, even in her time of worry and despair, means so much.

  Tori begins wheeling me back to my room and once we get there, I climb back in the bed.

  I realize just how very exhausted I really am, physically and emotionally. Tori glances at my mom, “I will make sure that Charlie gets all of her school work.” she says.

  I smile appreciatively at her and my mom doesn’t hesitate to thank her and says that she will also call the school to let them know what’s going on.

  I drift off to sleep with Tori telling me everything will be fine, my mother in the chair getting comfortable for the night and thoughts of Maverick and only Maverick running through my mind.

  Chapter 28-Maverick

  What happened and why can’t I see anything and where am I? I only see pitch black darkness. Why won’t my eyes open?

  I’m struggling and trying to bring movement to my limbs but I’m not making any headway.

  I’m trying so hard to remember and I can only see flashes and bits and pieces and it’s there ,just dangling out in front of me like a carrot. It’s on the tip of my mind but…I hear voices. A couple sound familiar and the more they talk the more I recognize them.

  I still can’t seem to open my eyes or recall anything…

  I should stop and listen, try to remember. Maybe they will give me some insight as to what’s going on.

  I feel confused and lethargic and I am really tired but I need to hang on. As soon as I stop struggling I remember the one person that means the most to me.

  Charlie.

  Charlie, I start screaming. My mouth can’t seem to form any words and won’t open. I must be screaming solely in my mind. I feel so frustrated. I want to pound my fist into something, anything but I can’t make my limbs move at all. Still…Charlie. Where is 'my' Charlie?

  The voices seem closer. Yes, they are getting closer. The closer they get the more familiar. All of a sudden it all clicks together like a bolt of lightning and a flash of thunder. It all comes crashing back hard.

  I remember, I remember it all.

  The accident, I was in an accident. I must be in a hospital.

  Those voices, those are my parents. The voice I don’t recognize that must be my Doctor. I don’t know what they are saying. It’s all very muffled. But I remember.

  Oh, Charlie….I hope she’s okay and not hurt. I remember her following behind me. Surely she wasn’t involved in it. She was a good enough distance behind me.

  I don’t remember seeing the oncoming vehicle coming towards me, only that our collision was inevitable. I remember thinking of her right before.

  How much I love her and how grateful that God brought her to me. I have never been super religious but I know that she was meant for me. This I know without a shadow of a doubt.

  She was made for me.

  Everything about her that I love comes rushing at me. Her kindness towards others, her smile when I make her laugh. Her blush ,which she did a lot of when I said something that embarrassed her.

  Normally the embarrassment was because of something innocent I told her, like how gorgeous she is or how I could listen to her beautiful angelic voice all day long. But sometimes, sometimes the blush was because I told her how much I wanted her–in every way, shape and form. This was always said with a serious face and she knew I meant every word.

  She was just starting to come to that conclusion herself.

  Thank God.

  Her Dad sure did a number on her. Unfortunately, years of listening to her Dad verbally abuse her in the looks department, would take a long time to get over. I’m just glad she was finally starting to not second guess my feelings for her.

  How any father could say what he did to his daughter, I would never understand.

  One thing I knew, I would never let him speak to her like that again. I would never have her feeling like she was “average”. My Charlie is not average. She is smart, kind, beautiful in every way. If it took me forever to get her to see this for herself I would.

  I would move heaven and earth for her.

  All of a sudden I hear a voice that is forever branded in my mind.

  I hear ‘my’ Charlie.

  She’s with my parents…If I could smile I would. My parents loved Charlie the very first time they met her. They loved her almost as much I do. I had never brought anyone home important enough to me to meet them. They knew she was special. The moment they were introduced my dad caught my eye and winked at me with his signal of approval. I knew right then and there I was a goner. I actually already knew, but it was a lot more ingrained and I was never more sure.

  My mom was grinning from ear to ear and seeing her wrap her arms around Charlie and take her in like a part of the family, was the icing on the cake. It was a fun night. We laughed and I had never seen Charlie so at ease.

  I remember my mom pulling me to the side and telling me how beautiful and wonderful she was. I never doubted that they would like her. I knew they would see exactly what I saw.

  It made me feel so happy and excited to know that she was here. The three people I love most in the world in one place.

  Granted not a place I wanted to be.

  The talking seems to get quiet. I don’t know how, but I sense a presence and I know it’s her. I feel her take my hand.

  What I wouldn’t give to be able to move, open my eyes and hold her. Tell her I’m okay and I’m here….

  She’s so close. I feel her so very close. She’s
in my skin and branded on me. A part of me. My hand she is holding, it’s trying desperately to squeeze hers.

  All of a sudden I can smell her.

  I feel her whisper in my ear. I can hear her, holy hell I can hear her. I want to scream so damn bad that I can hear her. Give her some clue that I know she’s there, but my stupid ass body isn’t budging.

  However, the most magnificent words to ever have graced her mouth have been whispered in my ear.

  “I love you, ‘my’ Maverick.”

  God, how I love her, and wish I could tell her how very much. Then I feel warm breath, as she kisses me softly on the lips.