by Raine, Alice
‘I’m not saying this will be easy, this is a first for me and seeing as we’ve started off as a D/s couple I don’t know how that will work as a standard relationship,’ he said cautiously, before I felt a laugh shake his chest, ‘Mind you, you were never exactly great at the whole “Sir” thing anyway.’
If possible my smile broadened. ‘I guess we’ll figure it out along the way,’ I suggested happily. ‘But we could probably keep certain elements of that going,’ I added with a mischievous tone to my voice. ‘I quite like your dominant ways in the bedroom, Mr Jackson.’
I couldn’t see his face because my head was tucked against his chest, but I knew Nathan approved of my words because he let out a low, satisfied growl and squeezed me against him even tighter. ‘That’s just as well, Stella, because although I might want more with you, I think there will always be a part of me that craves domination and control. I hope you can deal with that?’
Could I deal with it? Was I ready for it? Yes, without a doubt. For every part of Nathan that needed to control me, I seemed to have a matching piece of me that craved my submission to him. We were like a perfect pair.
Reaching across I picked up the silver necklace that had been my collar, our symbol of our togetherness. ‘Can I still wear this? It makes me think of you.’ I asked hopefully, I really liked the choker, and I loved what it represented about us.
‘Absolutely,’ Nathan agreed, taking it from my hand and fastening it around my neck again before dropping a small kiss on the side of the chain just below my jaw line. ‘Mine,’ he mumbled, his lips tickling my neck.
‘Yours,’ I agreed happily, fingering the chain and feeling complete now that I was wearing it again and back in his arms.
There was a comfortable silence for a few moments as we both absorbed the enormity of what had just occurred between us before Nathan noticeably tensed around me. ‘Motherfucker!’ he suddenly exclaimed, making me jump like I’d be scolded. Pushing out of his embrace I stood back with wide eyes and looked up at Nathan to see his eyes darting around wildly as he obviously considered something in his head. ‘What did Gregory say to you about my money?’
Trying furiously to cast my mind back I chewed my lip as I thought. ‘I don’t know, something about would I be so keen if you lost your money?’
‘No … I’m pretty sure he didn’t say if, he said when … he’s the fucking leak behind all these fucking lost deals!’
Practically pushing me aside Nathan jumped up and dashed to the apartment door, presumably checking if Gregory had already gone, which he clearly had since he left at least ten minutes ago, but apparently in his confusion Nathan wasn’t thinking straight.
‘Shit, Stella, I’m sorry to do this but I need to make a few quick calls and try to check this out now. Gregory has access to all my current bids so if I’m right this needs to be stopped immediately.’ Without another word Nathan spun and stormed towards his office, leaving me behind in a daze and his ice pack melting on the counter.
I wasn’t sure if I should follow him, but I couldn’t seem to keep myself away, not after everything Nathan had just confessed to me about wanting to try a relationship together, it was just so monumental that I needed to be close to him to make sure it was real. Picking up the icy bag of peas I wandered to his office deciding that if the door was shut I’d leave him to it, but if it was open I’d go in.
When I got to his office the door was open, surely a good sign, so peeping around the frame I saw Nathan was still on the phone. Hearing me approach he looked up and the scowl on his face softened as he signalled for me to enter with a wave of his hand. I held up the ice and gave him a mock chastising glance before crawling onto his lap and gently encasing his damaged hand in the ice again whilst he continued to talk into the phone.
Resting my head on his tense chest it soon became obvious that he was talking to his head of security, someone who seemed to be familiar with Gregory if what I could hear was anything to go by.
‘Find him, Stewart, and find him tonight. I want answers first thing in the morning.’ With that Nathan leant forwards and replaced the receiver on the table, so I stood up, hoping we might be moving back to the lounge to continue our conversation, or our snuggling – either would be fine by me.
‘Shit.’ I heard Nathan’s murmured curse and glanced over my shoulder to see what the matter was. His gaze was fixed on my back and then dropped to his own chest, which was still covered in Gregory’s blood. From the apologetic look on Nathan’s face I assumed I was also covered in that blood now too. Ugh. Removing his hand from the ice pack I clearly saw the splatter marks present there too, but Nathan’s grimace didn’t go unnoticed by me.
Raising his eyes to me Nathan smiled tightly. ‘What is it about me and blood on my hands?’ he murmured. I was about to launch into a Macbeth quote, but decided this might not be the time for Shakespeare when I saw the lost look filling his eyes. ‘I may have ruined your blouse,’ he commented softly. It was fine, I didn’t even like the blouse much anyway. What I was more concerned about was Nathan, who seemed to be withdrawing away from me to somewhere dark and troubling in his mind – no doubt thinking about the imminent threat to his company. But as I saw him rubbing his bloodied hands repeatedly against his trousers I realised that he was probably also reliving memories of his brother’s suicide attempt and the blood he’d had to deal with that night.
Thinking quickly I realised I needed to do something to bring him back to me, then a genius idea sprung to my mind. ‘Hey,’ I said softly, tipping his chin up so he’d have to look at me. ‘After spending a horrible week thinking you’d dumped me I think you owe me some apology sex, Mr Jackson.’ Thankfully it worked; Nathan’s face softened immediately and a small smile broke on the corner of his mouth as he stood up, stepped forwards and pulled me towards him again.
‘Ah yes, apology sex, I seem to recall we were in a toilet last time that happened,’ he mused, reaching up to rub his chin thoughtfully. I grinned as I cast my mind back to the luxurious bathroom of Claridges and the delicious encounter we had had there.
‘I don’t apologise often, Stella, you know this, but I think perhaps on this occasion you’re right.’ His eyes ran over me, his irises darkening as they did so, oh goody. ‘Seeing as we both need a shower we may as well keep up the bathroom tradition,’ Nathan commented, suddenly dipping to scoop me up in his arms before striding towards the huge en-suite off the master bedroom with me giggling in his grasp. What a difference a day makes!
Chapter Fourteen - Nathan
I was sipping an early morning coffee and feeling pretty damn content with my lot right now. After the hell of ‘losing’ Stella yesterday and then realising her misunderstanding about me removing her collar we had talked through our issues in the shower last night – in between several rounds of lazy lovemaking – and were now well and truly sorted and set on our plan to try a relationship together. Jeez, me in a relationship. I let out a long breath and shook my head in amusement. The funny thing was that I wasn’t panicky or concerned as I’d thought I might be – I was actually excited about the prospect.
As we’d been lying in bed last night I’d had a phone call from my brother inviting Stella and myself over for dinner the following evening. He’d sounded even happier than usual on the phone and I wondered what had made him quite so jubilant. I guess I’d find out in a few hours.
Stella had been in the bathroom at the time, so I’d taken the opportunity to thank Rebecca for her advice and told her things were going well for me now, although I left out the disaster of Stella moving out because she thought I’d finished with her; that was a stupid misunderstanding I intended to forget all about.
At a little past 9 a.m. I went to wake Stella up, I’d allowed her a lie-in today after I’d kept her awake a fair bit later than usual with some extra-special sex aimed at showing her just how much I cared for her. I hadn’t been able to say the ‘L’ word to her. In fact, I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to say I loved her ou
t loud – after my childhood the words had never meant much to me, but the way I felt about her had to be some kind of love I suppose, whatever form of love I was capable of anyway, and I intended to show her that in every possible way. Always actions over words, that’s the way I worked, so instead I’d planned a nice breakfast excursion to start her day off with a smile before we headed to Nicholas’s later on.
Chapter Fifteen - Stella
It was a beautiful day, one of those days where things really couldn’t get any better. The sun was out, the streets of London were warm and buzzing with the excited atmosphere of people making the most of the sunny weather, and best of all I was with Nathan. We were together – as in together like a real couple – and he was in a fabulous mood. Taking hold of my hand he gave it a squeeze and then after giving me a very uncharacteristic, but decidedly lovely, wink, he led me along the cobbled street down the side of the piazza in London’s Covent Garden. The outdoor cafés were already doing thriving business this morning, as were the entertainers who’d drawn large crowds as they busily touted for business by juggling or busking on the sun baked pavements.
We were heading to a particular café in Soho for an early brunch to celebrate our new relationship status, according to Nathan ‘a hidden gem in London’s back streets’, but seeing as the weather was so good we’d decided to park a little further out and walk. I smiled when I thought of how loving Nathan had been last night. He hadn’t said he loved me in words, but his actions had certainly implied it, and now here we were as a couple. Or perhaps given Nathan’s concerns that he was going to mess up, we should be labelled as a ‘trial couple’. Nathan might not have complete faith in himself, but after the changes I’d seen in him during our time together, I did – and the more I thought about it, the more I hoped that even if the road got bumpy at times, we would make it.
Pausing to look in a shop window I couldn’t help but stare at our reflection in the glass; my hand was held by my ridiculously possessive and dominant boyfriend, who was currently staring down at me intently as if I might vanish at any second, and I was grinning broadly and obviously feeling rather content with my lot. Don’t get me wrong, I knew Nathan was still a dominant personality, he probably always would be, and there would no doubt still be off days where his temper would flare or memories of his childhood would knock him off balance. I wasn’t naive enough to think he could simply change his personality over night, but then nor would I want him to. My pride and independence told me I shouldn’t like Nathan’s domineering personality, but if I were honest with myself, it was one of the key things that drew me to him.
The reality that I enjoyed being with a man as controlling as Nathan had shocked me at first – I was used to my independence and relished the control I harnessed at work – but we’d somehow struck a nice balance; he was definitely less demanding than at the start of our agreement, no doubt because I would rebel every now and my stubbornness kept him on track. In fact, I think my stubbornness was one of the things that made us so good together, I doubt anyone had ever questioned or said no to Nathan before, and I think he found the challenge I presented quite refreshing.
Still staring into the window of the small boutique Nathan tugged my hand to wake me from my daydreaming and I smiled up at him. ‘Sorry, I was miles away,’ I apologised, leaning up to place a quick, chaste kiss on his lips. A thrill ran through me – I could kiss Nathan whenever I wanted now – a nice bonus of our new relationship status that I intended to repeat as often as I could.
‘Somewhere nice with me, I hope,’ he murmured as he tried to deepen the kiss by sliding a hand to the nape of my neck and tugging me towards him. The physical pull between us was so strong that I probably would have let him if it hadn’t been for the disapproving look I caught from the shopkeeper through the window. Giggling like a randy teenager I gave him one more warm kiss and then pushed against his chest to separate us.
‘Come on, hot stuff, cool it for now, we’re in public,’ I laughed, almost giddy in my happiness as I moved back to his side so we could resume walking.
‘Like that would stop me,’ he muttered hotly, leaning in close to my ear. God, the man was insatiable. But luckily I was too, and just those few words and dark, lusty tone had me feeling flushed in my cheeks as a throbbing settled low in my belly.
Suddenly, Nathan froze beside me, pulling me to a sharp, jerking stop in the middle of the pavement. The hand that was holding mine went completely rigid and when I turned to him in confusion I saw that his face reflected his tension; a muscle jumped in his jaw line and his eyes were hard and intently focused just ahead of us. Following the line of his gaze I saw a woman with a pram walking towards us, smiling shyly at Nathan.
I had no idea who she was, or what was going on, but I suddenly had a distinctly sick feeling in my stomach. The woman drew to a stop in front of us and flicked a gaze over us both, lingering on our joined hands with a curious look, before glancing back at Nathan and averting her eyes. ‘Hello, Sir, it’s nice to see you.’
Sir? As the implications of her words hit me I felt the air leave my lungs in a single rushed breath. A huge surge of jealousy landed on me so swiftly I almost staggered. It was official, I wanted to throw up. Luckily I managed to hold back and instead focused on clutching Nathan’s hand to keep myself upright. His hold on my hand was equally as tight, but he finally cleared his throat and broke his silence.
‘Melissa … it’s been a … a while.’ Shifting on the spot he glanced at me, but the expression on his face was completely unreadable – was it fear? Panic? Guilt? Anger? I had no idea. ‘Stella, this is Melissa.’ Indicating briefly with his free hand he then gestured towards me. ‘Melissa, Stella.’
Melissa, who I assumed from her little use of the word ‘Sir’ was an old submissive of Nathan’s, turned her pale green eyes on me curiously. She was shorter than me by quite a way, skinnier too, and quite pretty, but there was a meekness to her that curved her shoulders in a slump and made her seem a little feeble. Her eyes flitted again to where my hand was linked with Nathan’s and I saw her eyebrows shift into a slight frown.
Not knowing what to say or do my gaze dropped to the baby as a distraction, but unfortunately this only made my stomach sink even further as I took in his features. It was probably my jealousy making me ridiculously paranoid, but his luminous blue eyes were almost the exact same colour as Nathan’s … and the blond fluffy hair was basically identical too. He was gorgeous, all soft, chubby, pink skin and innocent youth, but the more I stared at him the more the sickness I’d felt earlier began to rise up my throat, was that why Nathan was so tense, was this his baby? Did he have a child that he hadn’t told me about?
Nathan having a child wouldn’t necessarily be an issue, but concealing it from me wouldn’t exactly be the best start to our attempt at a relationship would it? My head was swimming as I suddenly released Nathan’s hand from my death-like grip and pretended to be fiddling with my handbag. I didn’t re-take my hold of his hand afterwards, I couldn’t, not until I knew the facts. Looking at the baby it was obvious he was just a few months old, and suddenly as well as wondering if this was Nathan’s baby, a horrifying thought crossed my mind – had Nathan still been seeing this woman whilst we had been together? He’d told me he was monogamous in his relationships, even as dominant and submissive, but if he had been expecting a child with her perhaps that changed things … had he cheated on me? Was that why he was so tense and had greeted her so stiffly?
What the heck was wrong with me? I’d never felt jealousy like this before, never, but the more I looked at Nathan’s tense expression, Melissa’s curious face, and her baby’s annoyingly cute blondness the more my imagination went into overdrive. Realistically I knew I was thinking irrationally, but my mind was awash with questions and I couldn’t seem to calm it. Was this his baby? Had he loved Melissa? Why had they split up? Ugh. My brain was moving so fast that I literally felt sick.
Melissa’s oddly inquisitive glances made me focus o
n the issue of whether he might have cheated on me and I tried to remember if Nathan had acted strangely at any point in our time together. But this was an almost impossible feat because Nathan and all his peculiarities was never exactly what you could call run of the mill.
It was fairly far-fetched, but the thought that he might possibly have overlapped myself and Melissa while he had been trying to father a child with her and still continue his sordid sex life on the side with me made me feel really dizzy, and suddenly I was desperate to get away and clear my head.
‘Sorry, Sir, I forgot to do the introductions, this cheeky little monkey is Dylan,’ Melissa finally said, pushing the pram back and forth a few times to calm the baby’s restless murmurs.
It was a marginal relief, but at least Melissa’s words seemed to confirm that Dylan definitely wasn’t Nathan’s baby, so perhaps all my paranoia about his faithfulness was unnecessary. But why had he been so tense when we’d met her? I definitely hadn’t imagined the way he’d stiffened next to me. As much as I hated myself for it I still couldn’t help but question exactly when Nathan had ended his relationship with this woman.
I’d never thought of myself as the overtly jealous type, but seeing this woman here right in front of me, Nathan’s past lover, a woman he had seen naked and had literally been inside of affected me more than I could ever have imagined.
Melissa leant down and lovingly ran her fingers across the baby’s cheek. ‘Anyway, we’re heading to playgroup so I need to be off. ’
Beside me Nathan’s tension reduced slightly, apparently glad that the conversation was coming to a close, and he nodded his head sharply. ‘Bye, then.’ he murmured in a tone that was practically devoid of all emotion.
Talk about blunt. Not that I mined, with my brain feeling foggy and confused I also wanted to get away as quickly as possible.
Melissa gave me a curious smile and a nod and then pushed the pram off in the opposite direction, leaving us standing there stunned in the middle of the street. Turning his head Nathan stared down at me intently, his look still impossible to read – was he shocked from the run-in with Melissa, or wary about my reaction? I had no idea, all I did know was that I still felt quite sick and dizzy from the shock encounter and his scrutiny wasn’t helping settle me at all.