Doctor Who: Who-ology (Dr Who)

by Scott, Cavan

  Dematerialisation Circuit – Allows the TARDIS to enter the Time Vortex. (Terror of the Autons) Reliability Rating:

  Dimensional Control – Controls the TARDIS’s dimensional transcendence. (The Time Meddler) Reliability Rating:

  Dimensional Stabiliser – Regulates internal dimensions. Can be used to alter size of passengers. (The Invisible Enemy) Reliability Rating:

  Directional Unit – Regulates TARDIS navigation systems. (The Daleks’ Master Plan) Reliability Rating:

  Emergency Oxygen Supply – Only useful if you actually remember to keep the tanks full! (Planet of the Daleks) Reliability Rating

  Emergency Programme One – Returns companions to their home in times of absolute danger. Can be programmed to activate after a certain time limit. (The Parting of the Ways) Reliability Rating:

  Emergency Unit – Moves the TARDIS out of normal space-time in times of catastrophe. (The Mind Robber) Reliability Rating:

  The Eye of Harmony – The TARDIS’s primary power source. Do not open! (Doctor Who) Reliability Rating:

  Fast Return Switch – Pressing the switch returns the TARDIS to a previous location. Unless it gets stuck, in which it’ll send you hurtling back to the birth of a solar system. (The Edge of Destruction) Reliability Rating:

  Fault Locator – Detects malfunctions in TARDIS systems. (The Daleks) Reliability Rating:

  Fluid Link – Small glass tubes containing mercury. Essential for TARDIS operation, but liable to get knocked out of place or explode. (The Daleks) Reliability Rating:

  Food Machine – Decide what you want to eat, check the codes in the manual, turn the dials and the food machine produces foil-wrapped cubes that taste exactly like your choices. (The Daleks) Reliability Rating:

  Force Field Generator / Defence Field – Protects the TARDIS from attack. (The Three Doctors) Reliability Rating:

  Gravitic Anomaliser – Helpful when patching up Skonnon spaceship engines. (The Horns of Nimon) Reliability Rating:

  Handbrake – The TARDIS anchor. Leaving it on can cause a terrible wheezing, groaning sound. (Doctor Who) Reliability Rating:

  Heart of the TARDIS – Located in the base of the console, contains link to the Vortex plus Huon particles. (Terminus) Reliability Rating:

  Helmic Regulator – Helps the TARDIS navigate to a specific point. (The Ark in Space) Reliability Rating:

  Hostile Action Displacement System (HADS) – Automatically removes the TARDIS from danger – just remember to set it. (The Krotons) Reliability Rating:

  Magnetic Chair – Generates a force field strong enough to restrain a herd of elephants. (The Daleks’ Master Plan) Reliability Rating:

  Matrix – A databank, but in the case of the TARDIS it contains much more than just raw data. (The Doctor’s Wife) Reliability Rating:

  Multi-Loop Stabiliser – Unnecessary, in the Doctor’s view, but essential to achieving smooth materialisations. (The Pirate Planet) Reliability Rating:

  Outer Plasmic Shell – The ‘skin’ of the TARDIS manipulated by the chameleon circuit to change its outward appearance. (Logopolis) Reliability Rating:

  Radiation Detector – Measures radiation levels outside the TARDIS exterior. (The Daleks) Reliability Rating:

  Randomiser – Randomly selects destinations. Useful for evading powerful cosmic entities. (The Armageddon Factor) Reliability Rating:

  Recall Circuit – Can forcibly return a TARDIS to Gallifrey. (Arc of Infinity) Reliability Rating:

  Scanner – Allows the TARDIS crew to observe what’s happening outside the ship (An Unearthly Child) Reliability Rating:

  Telepathic Circuits – Allows telepathic contact between different TARDISes as well as Gallifrey. (The Time Monster) Reliability Rating:

  Telephone – able to receive calls from across space and time. (World War Three) Reliability Rating:

  Time Space Visualiser – Not strictly an original TARDIS component but salvaged from the Space Museum. Allows the TARDIS crew to view any event in history. (The Chase) Reliability Rating:

  Time Path Indicator – Informs the pilot if another time craft is following the TARDIS’s temporal pathway. (The Chase) Reliability Rating:

  Time Scanner – Lets you know where you’ll arrive next – and what monsters you might meet! (The Moonbase) Reliability Rating:

  Time Sensor – Detects disturbances in a time field – or a TARDIS sniffer-outer, as Jo Grant put it. Only works in Venusian miles. (The Time Monster) Reliability Rating:

  Time Vector Generator – Similar to the Dimensional Control, stabilises the TARDIS’s dimensional transcendence. (The Wheel in Space) Reliability Rating: (Unless it’s on the blink like in The Ambassadors of Death)

  Translation Circuits – Linked to telepathic circuits. Translates most languages into the individual language of the TARDIS crewmembers. Also works on the written word. Doesn’t do Gallifreyan. (The End of the World) Reliability Rating:

  Tribophysical waveform macro-kinetic extrapolator – Allows the TARDIS to project force fields around itself. (Boom Town) Reliability Rating:

  Visual Stabilisation Circuit – Renders the TARDIS invisible if deactivated. (The Invasion) Reliability Rating:

  Vortex Drive – Creates anti-gravity spirals which operate like tractor beams. (Delta and the Bannermen) Reliability Rating

  Yearometer – Indicates the year in which the TARDIS has landed. (An Unearthly Child) Reliability Rating:

  Zeiton-7 – Rare ore used by the TARDIS transpower system. (Vengeance on Varos) Reliability Rating:

  OTHER EQUIPMENT:

  Briode Nebuliser (The Two Doctors)

  Conceptual Geometer (The Horns of Nimon)

  Dynamorphic generator (Time-Flight)

  Emergency Power Booster Unit (The Mind Robber)

  Friction Contrafibulator (Vincent and the Doctor)

  Image Translator (Full Circle)

  Lateral Cones (The Visitation)

  Light-speed Overdrive (Logopolis)

  Nexial Tracers (The Face of Evil)

  Orthogonal Vector (The Curse of the Black Spot)

  Parametric Engines (The Curse of the Black Spot)

  Seat Belts (Timelash)

  Subneutron Circuits (Shada)

  Synchronic Feedback Checking Circuit (The Pirate Planet)

  Temporal Stabiliser (Planet of Fire)

  Thermocouplings (Space / Time)

  Vortex Shield (Shada)

  Wibbly Lever (Space / Time)

  Zig-Zag Plotter (The Lodger)

  HOW TO GROW A TARDIS

  A deleted scene from Journey’s End would have revealed that it is possible to grow a new TARDIS from a chunk of original TARDIS coral. Unfortunately, the process takes thousands of years. However, this can be sped up if you:

  Shatterfry the plasmic shell

  Modify the dimensional stabiliser to a foldback harmonic of 35.3.

  Do this right and you’ll accelerate growth by the power of 59.

  THE TIME ROTOR

  Think you know the Time Rotor? It’s the central column in the middle of the console, right? Wrong! The Time Rotor is first mentioned during The Chase when the TARDIS approaches the Empire State Building. Vicki points to a unit near the door switch on the console itself, not the column, telling the Doctor that the Time Rotor is slowing down.

  In fact, the central column is mentioned earlier, in The Edge of Destruction, where the Doctor explains that the heart of the machine is kept beneath the ‘Control Column’. There’s another brief mention of the Time Rotor in Meglos, but in Logopolis the Doctor clearly identifies the column as – wait for it, hair-splitters – ‘the time column’.

  It was only later, through such books as The Doctor Who Technical Manual by Mark Harris and Peter Haining’s Doctor Who – A Celebration, that the rotor began to be completely associated with the column.

  And what of the Time Rotor’s origins? Well, the device was invented by Terry Nation for his 1965 book, The Dalek Pocketbook and Space Traveller’s Guide. The device, he explained,
let the Doctor know when the TARDIS was about to land. The same year, the Dalek creator included it in his script for The Chase.

  CONSOLE ROOM DESIGNERS

  Over the years, the TARDIS control room set has regenerated almost as many times as the Doctor himself…

  The console room introduced in The Snowmen measures 48 feet in diameter and 28 feet high. The six sections of the new console itself each have different functions: time coordination, communications, information centre, power control and helm, power setting, and cerebral connection.

  DIRECTIONS TO THE TARDIS WARDROBE

  Head out of console room (coral desktop version). Take first left, then second right.

  Take third left then head straight ahead.

  Go under the stairs.

  Pass the bins.

  The wardrobe is fifth door on the left.

  SOME TARDIS DISGUISES

  ‘It’s still a police box. Why hasn’t it changed? Dear, dear, how very disturbing.’

  The Doctor, An Unearthly Child

  Those clever old Time Lords, disguising their TARDISes to blend into the background… well, most of the time. Here are some of the forms various TARDISes have been seen to take:

  THE DOCTOR’S TARDIS

  Police box – An Unearthly Child to The Snowmen

  Victorian kitchen cabinet – Attack of the Cybermen

  Organ – Attack of the Cybermen

  Gate – Attack of the Cybermen

  THE MONK’S TARDIS

  Saxon sarcophagus – The Time Meddler

  Motorbike – The Daleks’ Master Plan

  Stagecoach – The Daleks’ Master Plan

  Tank – The Daleks’ Master Plan

  Tree – The Daleks’ Master Plan

  Biplane – The Daleks’ Master Plan

  Police box – The Daleks’ Master Plan

  Block of ice – The Daleks’ Master Plan

  THE MASTER’S TARDISES

  Circus horsebox – Terror of the Autons

  Large box / cupboard (maybe its natural shape) – The Claws of Axos

  Spaceship – Colony in Space

  Computer bank – The Time Monster

  Grandfather clock – The Deadly Assassin, The Keeper of Traken

  Statue of the Melkur – The Keeper of Traken

  Police box – Logopolis

  Ornate column – Logopolis, Castrovalva

  Potted shrub – Logopolis

  Marble fireplace – Castrovalva

  Concorde – Time-Flight

  Iron maiden (the torture device not the rock band) – The King’s Demons

  Obelisk – Planet of Fire

  Statue of Queen Victoria – The Trial of a Time Lord: The Ultimate Foe

  Wooden beach hut – The Trial of a Time Lord: The Ultimate Foe

  PROFESSOR CHRONOTIS’S TARDIS

  Cambridge college rooms – Shada

  OMEGA’S TARDIS

  Sepulchre – Arc of Infinity

  THE RANI’S TARDIS

  Cupboard – Mark of the Rani

  Pyramid – Time and the Rani

  The Queen Victoria public house – Dimensions in Time

  FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS

  The Cloister Bell sounds when the TARDIS is in imminent danger. It was originally recorded by lowering a gong into a tank of water to deaden the vibration and add weight and a lower pitch and has been heard at the following times:

  Logopolis – Possibly predicting the death of the Universe, or perhaps the death of the Fourth Doctor

  Castrovalva – As the TARDIS hurtles back to Event One

  Resurrection of the Daleks – As the TARDIS risks breaking up in the Daleks’ time corridor

  Doctor Who – After the Master opens the Eye of Harmony

  Born Again (Children in Need special) – As the newly regenerated Tenth Doctor tries to pilot the TARDIS

  The Sound of Drums – After the Master has transformed the TARDIS into a paradox machine

  Time Crash – After the Fifth and Tenth Doctor’s TARDISes collide in the Vortex

  Turn Left – As the walls between the universes begin to break down

  The Waters of Mars – After the Tenth Doctor’s death is predicted

  The Eleventh Hour – As the TARDIS’s engines phase

  The Curse of the Black Spot – As the Doctor loses control of the TARDIS

  The Doctor’s Wife – As House takes over the TARDIS

  The God Complex – Within the room containing the Doctor’s biggest fear

  SONIC SCREWDRIVERS GALORE

  ‘Who looks at a screwdriver and thinks, “Oooh, this could be a little more sonic?”’

  Captain Jack Harkness, The Doctor Dances

  The Doctor’s trusty sonic screwdriver, never far from his side (except for the Fifth and Sixth Doctors who went ‘hands free’ following the events of The Visitation). But how many screwdrivers has the man owned over the centuries? And is there anything it can’t do?

  Mark I – Fury from the Deep to The War Games

  A simple silver rod, like a pocket torch

  Mark II – The Sea Devils to Carnival of Monsters

  Larger, with a silver handle, striped yellow shaft and number of interchangeable heads

  Mark III – Frontier in Space to The Visitation

  Long silver handle with a variety of heads, including black and red. Destroyed by the Terileptils in 1666

  Mark IV – Doctor Who

  Resembling the Mark III, but now completely silver

  Mark V – Rose to Smith and Jones

  Smaller, with a coral handle, extendable shaft and glowing blue light. Destroyed while modifying an X-ray machine on the Moon

  Mark VI – Gridlock to The Eleventh Hour

  Almost identical to the Mark V, save for a grey handle. Destroyed while overloading technology in Leadworth, England

  Mark VII – The Eleventh Hour to A Christmas Carol

  Created by the TARDIS itself, complete with green light, copper plating and retractable claws. Bitten in half by a flying shark

  Mark VIII – The Impossible Astronaut to The Almost People

  A version of the Mark VII, given to the Ganger Doctor

  Mark IX – The Almost People to The Snowmen

  Another Mark VII replica, immediately provided by the TARDIS

  And that’s all without mentioning the one he gave to River Song…

  USING THE SONIC SCREWDRIVER

  The Doctor has used the sonic screwdriver to perform all manner of tasks – even taking out screws (in The War Games, for example). Here’s a reminder of some of the amazing gadget’s capabilities.

  Access computers (Various)

  Act as an oxyacetylene cutting tool (The Dominators)

  Activate Dalek systems (Asylum of the Daleks)

  Anti-freeze (The Snowmen)

  Blow up evil Christmas trees (The Christmas Invasion)

  Lock and unlock doors (Various)

  Boost mobile internet speeds (The Runaway Bride)

  Boost psychic projections through the space between universes (Doomsday)

  Break hypnotic trances (Death to the Daleks)

  Burn out locking mechanisms (The Mutants)

  Burn through rope (The Age of Steel, The Fires of Pompeii)

  Crack glass (Army of Ghosts)

  Crystal vibration (The Face of Evil)

  Darken helmet visors and reading glass lenses (Forest of the Dead, Planet of the Dead)

  Deactivate Cyber implants (The Age of Steel)

  Destroy answerphones (The Long Game)

  Detect booby-traps (Colony in Space, Death to the Daleks)

  Disable weapons (Cold Blood)

  Dismantle computers (Death to the Daleks)

  Disrupt shimmers / perception fields (The End of Time, The Vampires of Venice)

  Disrupt signals controlling disembodied plastic arms (Rose)

  Dry out clothes (The Curse of the Black Spot)

  Electromagnet – as long as you reverse the polarity of its power
source (Frontier in Space)

  Flashlight (The Beast Below, The Pandorica Opens)

  Fuse communication systems (Genesis of the Daleks)

  Fuse computer controls (The Sontaran Experiment and others)

  Fuse locks (Nightmare of Eden and others)

  Give phones free calls (The Runaway Bride)

  Give mobile phones Universal Roaming – no matter what the price plan (42, The Doctor’s Daughter, Planet of the Dead)

  Hack into websites (The Runaway Bride)

  Heal wounds (The Vampires of Venice)

  Ignite gas (Carnival of Monsters)

  Increase mesh-density of atmospheric suits (Silence in the Library)

  Increase X-Ray radiation (Smith and Jones)

  Interrupt forcefields (Invasion of Time)

  Knock over stone slabs (The Fires of Pompeii)

  Landmine and bomb detonation (The Sea Devils, Robot, Doomsday)

  Light candles (The Girl in the Fireplace)

  Lower blinds (The End of the World)

  Make toys work by themselves (Night Terrors)

  Manipulate super-dense water vapour (The Snowmen)

  Medical scans (The Empty Child and more)

  Melt gangers (The Almost People)

  Melt plastic (The Android Invasion)

  Open cracks in time (The Eleventh Hour)

  Open doors and picking locks (Too many to mention)

  Open manholes (Daleks in Manhattan)

  Open sonic barriers (The Visitation)

  Overload technology (The Eleventh Hour, The Angels Take Manhattan)

  Prime explosives (Destiny of the Daleks)

  Psychic Interface – just point and think (Let’s Kill Hitler)

  Radio interference (Daleks in Manhattan)

  Raise sun filters (The End of the World)

  Reattach barbed wire – setting 2,428 D apparently (The Doctor Dances)

  Recharge batteries (Father’s Day)