Crushed

by Brigid McMahon

  I exchange breathless looks with Pam and Linda at the sound of his smooth, silky voice.

  English Lit just became my favorite class.

  Mr. Hayes opens his laptop, grinning at us. "I guess we better start with roll call."

  He wanders the room while calling off names, and it's not long before he gets to me.

  "Taryn Bishop."

  He looks around, and I raise my hand and sit up straighter in my seat.

  "Here!"

  Mr. Hayes's beautiful blue eyes settle on me, and he walks over to my desk.

  "Taryn. I like that. Like Karen, but with a T. Very cool."

  I giggle like an idiot and hunch my shoulders up, flushing pink at his compliment.

  "Oh, gosh, thank you!"

  He laughs and gives me a wink then goes on to the next name.

  I turn to Linda and Pam and mouth, "OH MY GOD!"

  They are both grinning and clapping their hands silently.

  I watch Mr. Hayes finish with the roll call, and then he starts telling us about himself, how he's only recently graduated from college and that he likes to surf and swim and play beach volleyball.

  I watch him, my heart pounding, and I know I've found my latest crush!

  Chapter Two

  Patrick takes me home after school because we both had sports, me tennis, him wrestling. He keeps his hand on my thigh the entire ride home and keeps squeezing me. I really want to slug him, but I just don't feel like having a major fight right now. I feel like one's coming though because I don't know much longer I can pretend I still like him like I used to.

  Patrick insists on walking me to the door when we get to my house.

  "So, hey, it looks like your parents aren't home." He raises both eyebrows up at me suggestively.

  "Mmm, yeah," I bite my lip and sigh. "But I have to get to work. No time to play."

  "Damn." Patrick looks crestfallen, and I feel kind of sorry for him. He is dumb as shit, but for the most part, he has been a good boyfriend. I guess it's me who has the problem, not him.

  I lean up on my tiptoes and kiss him just under his jawbone, which I know he likes.

  He puts a hand behind my neck and kisses me hard on the lips.

  "Rain check?"

  "Sure." I give him a sweet smile, like a good little girlfriend, and let him squeeze my butt, then I scoot inside and close and lock the door before he can muscle his way in.

  I do indeed have the place to myself, like most afternoons. Mom is still at work, and Ethan works long hours too. And usually, when they are both finished, they meet up for dinner or some kind of date. They have a busier social life than I do!

  I fix myself a quick snack of microwave mac and cheese and sit down in the breakfast nook to eat while working on my English Lit homework. I try to concentrate on Emily Dickinson, but all I can think about is Mr. Hayes and his gorgeous blue eyes. I suddenly wonder if he's on the staff directory on the school web page and grab my laptop, doing a quick search.

  Oh my God, there is he! He stares up at me from the web page, looking more like a male model than a high school teacher. I scan his brief bio but don't really find any new info other than what he already told us in class. I'm going to have to print his pic out so I can stare at it every night.

  Then I see the phone number. Wow! Teachers don't usually share their cell phone numbers because, naturally, they don't want to be bothered outside of school by annoying students. But Mr. Hayes has his number right here on his bio. Sooo...

  I chew on my thumbnail. I can't possibly call him, can I? I mean, what for?? I could ask about the homework. But that's kind of lame since it's just reading and what can I ask about that? Then I remember the school newspaper. Mrs. Carroll was the teacher liaison for the paper, of which I am the editor. Of course! It's only natural that I should give Mr. Hayes a call to see when we can meet about the paper!

  I congratulate myself on being such a bloody genius and take out my cell. Kim has texted me about some party this weekend, but I ignore the text and quickly dial Mr. Hayes's number before I can chicken out.

  It rings and rings again. It rings a third time, and I'm guessing I'll have to leave a message when he picks up.

  "Hello, Hayes."

  I don't respond at first. I wasn't expecting him to answer like that, so quick and curt. I guess I was expecting something sweet and sexy.

  "Hello?"

  Finally, I find my voice and sit up in my seat like he can see me through my phone.

  "Um, hi, um, Mr. Hayes?"

  There's a pause and a little sigh. "Yes?"

  I bite my lip. Crap, is he irritated? Maybe I should hang up!

  "Who am I speaking to?"

  "Um, this is Taryn. You know, from English Lit? Like Karen, but with a T?"

  "Oh, yes. What can I do for you?"

  I don't think he has a clue who I am, but I carry on, explaining that I'm the editor of the school paper and that we should meet up sometime to discuss things.

  "Right, the school paper." He seems to be moving around, I can hear a shuffling sound and a tap tap on a keyboard. "Hang on, Karen, I'm just bringing my calendar up on my laptop here."

  "It's Taryn. With a T." I say, lamely.

  "Right." More tapping. "Would tomorrow after school work for you? We can meet in the library."

  "Sure, Mr. Hayes, that would be perfect." Who cares if he thinks my name is Karen? He can call me whatever he likes!

  "Alright then, Karen, I've got you in my calendar. Looking forward to it."

  I wonder if he's smiling or rolling his eyes? I hope he can hear me smiling over the phone.

  "Me too, Sir. I'll see you tomorrow!"

  After hanging up, I toss out the rest of my mac and cheese and run up to my room to get ready for work.

  ◆◆◆

  I've been working at Taco, Taco, Taco for about six months now. It's an okay job and gets me spending money for clothes and stuff. The place is owned by the Ortez family and most of the people who work there, like my jerk boss, Manny, are family members. It's a pretty successful business though so they've had to hire outside the family this year. The restaurant is in the mall, upstairs in the food court and my friends are always coming in. I try to slip them free stuff when Manny isn't looking, but lately he's been watching me like a hawk. I think he's just looking for an excuse to fire me. He really hates my guts for some reason.

  I had to take the bus to work which sucks. I've been begging my parents for a car but Mom says not till after graduation. So, it's either rides with friends or public transportation for now.

  "You were supposed to be here at four, Bishop!" Manny snaps. We're standing in the back room, where the lockers are and I'm trying to get my long hair under my hair net while Manny glares at me.

  "I'm sorry, I'm just really bad with time." I give him a sheepish smile but he looks even more annoyed.

  "You're bad with time?!" Manny shakes his head and crosses his arms over his muscled chest. He is pretty cute, in an angry, dangerous looking way. He has black hair and dark brown eyes, a tanned complexion and a smoking bod. But his personality is shit. "You do know I can fire you, right?"

  "Oh, but you wouldn't, would you?" I try flirting a little which gets me nowhere, fast.

  "Get to work!" he hisses. "And don't be late again or you're outta here!

  I give him a smart salute. "Yes, Sir, Herr Commandant!"

  He shoots me a threatening look and I scoot out to the front counter, waving at Manny's brother Hector, who's making tortillas.

  Manny stomps out and I can feel his eyes on my back as I start taking orders. I keep trying to think of what I have done to the guy to make him so hostile? Maybe it's because the two of us hang out with different crowds at school. Manny's friends are scary, they wear leather with chains hanging out of their pockets and can usually be found outside smoking cigarettes at lunch time. I try to avoid them but here at work I can't escape their leader.

  "Fix your uniform."

  Manny glides pas
t me and starts yelling at Hector to speed up the tortillas.

  I glance down and the only thing wrong with my uniform, aside from the extremely ugly brown, yellow and green colors, is that I've left the top button undone. Technically, all the buttons are supposed to be done up, but I wanted my new silver heart pendant necklace to be seen. It's so pretty and it does jazz the outfit up.

  I primly button up and Manny glides by again giving me a curt nod.

  Sheesh!

  Kim and Ryan come in and up to the counter.

  "You never answered my texts!" Kim complains.

  "Oh, sorry, I read them, I just didn't have time to answer." I tell her, smiling at Ryan.

  "Hey, Taryn." Ryan smiles back and turns to Kim. "I'll get us a table, babe. You know what I want."

  "Oh, I do!" Kim quips. He grins and tickles her side then goes over to a table in the corner and sits down.

  Cute. Barf. I force a bright smile onto my face. "So, what do you guys want?"

  Kim quickly gives me the order then tells me about the party that weekend, at our friend Kyle's house.

  "So, you're coming, right? You and Patrick?"

  "I'm assuming so." I don't think I've ever missed a party. Not that I really like going, it's just when you hang out with the type of crowd that I do, it's sort of mandatory.

  "Bishop! Order, now!"

  I roll my eyes at Manny's command, but grab the tray with Kim's order and slide it across the counte. She looks at me expectantly but I shrug. I can't give her free stuff with jerk face standing behind me.

  "Later!" Kim takes the tray and goes over to Ryan. I sigh and look away. It must be so much fun to eat taco's with Ryan.

  "Bishop!"

  Jesus, what now???

  I raise an eyebrow at my boss. "Yes?"

  Manny motions me to the back of the kitchen. "Hector can't make tortillas to save his life and you spend too much time talking to your friends. I want you back here now, in prep. Grab some gloves and get to work."

  "But what about the register?"

  "I'll take care of it for now. Just get going on the tortillas. And when that's done, I need you to clean and chop lettuce."

  I sigh. But I slip on the plastic gloves and get to work.

  ◆◆◆

  Patrick picks me up from work even though I didn't ask him to. He's waiting in his black Corvette by the bus station and I can't exactly just walk on by him so I climb in.

  "You didn't have to pick me up, I was just going to take the bus!" I smell gross. Manny made me end my shift by chopping onions.

  Patrick smiles at me and lays his hand on my thigh. "Babe, I'm your boyfriend. I want to pick you up and take care of you. You shouldn't have to ride a damn bus. That's so lame."

  I say nothing as his hand creeps higher.

  "You smell yummy."

  "Onions," I tell him. I move his hand away from the top of my thigh. "Stop!"

  Patrick sighs. "Stop, stop," he mimics. "Is that the only word you know?"

  His teasing pisses me off. I stare out the window at the dark, and the streetlights passing by.

  "Babe, come on." Patrick turns up my street and we drive up the winding road to my house. "Don't be bitchy. You know I'm fucking crazy about you. Let me show you how much."

  We sit in the circle drive for several long minutes. I don't see Mom or Ethan's cars which means they are out again. The house is mine for the time being. Patrick notices too. He hops out of the car and comes around to open my door.

  "You shouldn't be alone, it's not safe," he tells me, following me up the front steps.

  "Oh, and I would be safe with you, would I?" I raise an eyebrow at him and he laughs and pulls me into his arms, kissing me.

  I squirm out of the embrace and manage to get the door opened, but he's on my heels this time, pushing the door open from behind me and then we're inside. Alone.

  We go into the kitchen where Mom has left me a note that she and Ethan are at a business meeting/dinner and won't be back till late. Patrick reads the note over my shoulder.

  "Well, look at that. Just you and me." He runs a hand up and down my back.

  "Patrick, I just...I'm not ready yet." I decide honesty is the right policy because I don't want him thinking he can do whatever he wants tonight.

  "Will it ever be the right time?" he asks. He doesn't wait for a response and leans down and kisses me, long and slow. Oh, he does kiss good! I feel my resistance faltering.

  "You want to make out," I say when the kiss ends.

  "Yes, please." He gives me a little boy grin and I can't help laughing.

  "Fine." I sigh and we go into the family room and I close the drapes. "But just messing around, not all the way."

  "Okay, sure." Patrick wriggles out of his varsity jacket and pulls me to the couch. "Come here."

  I go to him and he yanks me down and then pushes me back on the couch, laying on top of me. "Oh my God, Patrick!"

  He laughs again. "What? I just don't believe in wasting time!" And with that he goes to town. His mouth attacks mine and then moves down to my neck, sucking. I can feel him rock hard on my thigh and he starts humping me.

  "Wait, no, stop!" I push against him and he looks up from my neck. "Don't give me a hickey! I told you before, no marks!"

  "Mmmm, but I like hickeys!" He slides his lips down my chest, pulling my top down.

  "Stop!"

  "Babe." He comes back up to my lips. "I don't care about your scar; I love it like I love you."

  "You love me?"

  "Yeah, of course I do." Patrick's eyes are wide and innocent but I think he's talking crap just to get into my pants. "Why do you think I want to seal our love so badly? I want to make you mine, totally, Taryn."

  "No hickeys." I tell him firmly. We go back to making out and soon my bra is undone under my shirt and he's playing with my breasts and back to humping me. I'm not very turned on, he's so rough and I just want this to be finished. So, I finally do the only thing that will make him stop.

  I push against his crotch and moan loudly, running my fingers through his hair.

  "Oh, Patrick, oh it feels so good!" My performance isn't great but it's enough to get him moving faster and pretty soon he's crying out that he's coming, so I say I am too and then it's finally over.

  Patrick sits up, out of breath. His crotch is wet and I get him a towel. He looks at me reproachfully as he wipes himself off.

  "Such a waste. This could all be inside of you, Taryn."

  "Yeah, and so could a baby. No thank you!" I shoot back. "You need to leave, before my mom and Ethan get back."

  Patrick reluctantly leaves and I lock the door behind him and take myself to bed.

  ◆◆◆

  The day after faking yet another orgasm with my boyfriend, I get to school an hour earlier than usual. Today I have cheer practice and the only free time most of us have is before school. It seriously sucks because I am not a morning person.

  Kim's older sister Teri is our cheer coach and she is about ten times the bitch that Kim is. She's gorgeous too, tall, thin, with a short layered blond hair cut and icy deep blue eyes that are usually glaring at you through tiny narrow slits. I'm scared to death of her.

  Teri graduated last year and she's going to college now, but she coaches cheer-leading in her spare time to make extra money. I'm not sure why she needs the money though since Kim and Teri's father is an orthopedic surgeon. But whatever.

  We're in the gym warming up when Teri comes in clutching her Starbucks in one hand and a boombox in the other.

  "Line up!" She barks and sips her coffee.

  Kim smirks at me and flips her sister off but we line up in formation and wait for the music. We're doing this dance for the pep rally on Friday, plus we'll also be performing at the basketball game that night. The music starts, Shake it Off, by Taylor Swift, and we start the routine. I will admit, I haven't been practicing like I should because I'm so busy with extra-curricular activities and work and studying that I just haven't had the
time. So, it comes as no surprise that minutes into the routine I fuck up and Teri starts screaming.

  "Jesus, Bishop! Get your shit together!"

  I try to concentrate but I can't seem to remember a damn thing. Finally, Teri stops the music and calls me over.

  "What it your fucking problem?" She glares at me with her tiny slits.

  "I'm sorry, Teri, I just can't seem to get it together this morning. I'll do better, I promise!"

  "You better or you will find yourself off my team, you got that?"

  I nod, shrinking under her fury. "Yes, I understand. Sorry!"

  Teri rolls her eyes at me and screams for us to line up again.

  We go through the routine two more times and I manage to remember all the steps but Teri is still pissed. She sends us off to the showers with a warning about where she'll stick our pom pom's if we aren't perfect by Friday.

  We shower and crowd around the mirrors fixing our makeup and hair.

  "I'm going crazy," Kim tells me, fluffing her blond waves with her hands. She looks so cute today in a tight white sweater and black floral mini skirt and flats. Her legs are long and tan without a single ounce of cellulite.

  "How so?" I carefully line my eyes with my black kohl pencil. I am sporting my usual dressy casual look for school with pale blue skin tight jeans and an oversize white sweater with a light pink infinity scarf and pink tennis shoes. I slip a white and pink pearl bracelet over my wrist and add some gloss. Bubble gum today.

  "Fucking Ryan." Kim adds more mascara to her eyes. "He refuses to have sex. I mean, I'm starting to think the boy is gay or something."

  "Ryan, gay? I don't think so!" I smile. "Does he not do, like, anything?"

  "He likes it when I give him head or a hand job, but that's all. How can a seventeen-year-old guy not want to fuck? I mean, seriously!"

  I am trying to get the vision of Kim giving Ryan head out of my brain.

  "Wish I had that problem!" We grab our back packs and leave the rocker room, walking through the gym. "That's all Patrick ever thinks about!"

  The two of us walk through the halls to Kim's locker.