Rewrite the Stars

by Julieann Dove

  She opened her hand and looked in it. It was an oval pendant. She strained to see what was on it.

  “It’s Saint Raphael. He’s one of the seven Archangels of God. He protected the love of Sarah and Tobias so that one day they’d have the chance to be married and be happy together.” He took the necklace and undid the clasp. “Wear it and always think of me. He will watch over you until we can be together.”

  She held up her hair as he locked it around her neck. She kissed him and looked longingly into his eyes. Suddenly they heard footsteps on the ground coming toward them. It was Mallory, holding a flashlight. The light blinded them and they shielded their eyes.

  “Shit. Claire, what are you doing? Colin?” The light shone on each one of them separately. “Seriously, guys?” No one said anything. “Alex called and is worried about you, Claire.”

  Claire stepped away from Colin. “What did you tell him?”

  “When I saw your car still in the driveway I told him I’d call him right back. Maybe you had engine problems.” She sighed. “You better come in and call him before he comes. And Colin, you’d better go home to Emily. I don’t want to have to cover for anyone else.” She kicked the ground. “Shit, you guys. This sucks. I’m suffering here as one of the other people. The girl who’s wondering where her own husband is.” She shook her head and turned to walk away. “I can’t believe you two.”

  Claire buried her head in her hands. “What are we going to do now?”

  “Don’t worry, Mallory won’t say anything.” He kissed her forehead. “I’ll go back now so Emily doesn’t wonder where I’m at. I told her I was going for a walk on the beach.”

  Claire took his hand in hers. “Colin—”

  She didn’t know what to say. There was nothing to say. She was so exhausted from not being able to live her life the way she wanted. To have to hide in the dark, among the trees, the coconspirators of her secret. Just to feel Colin’s hands, again, on her. To touch him and drown in the smell she’d always known to be his. If only she felt any of this for Alex. She tried, but knowing her heart was taken before she met him, it could never truly be.

  Maybe she secretly hoped Mallory would tell Alex and Emily. Then again, she’d have to live with a different misery—the one of betrayal. It would kill her to hurt her daughter, and Alex didn’t deserve any of this. Not the lack of emotion when he held her, and not the lie.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  He kissed her lips gently and walked into the darkness, heading in the direction of the beach. She heard the crackling of sticks underneath each of the steps that took him farther away from her.

  ∞ ∞ ∞

  Claire looked at Mallory as she made the call from Frieda’s kitchen. Knowing what a liar she was, and feeling completely rotten about it. “Hi, Alex. I’m all right. I guess I lost track of time talking to Mallory and when I went to leave, the car flooded. I’m not used to driving. Cabs have spoiled me.” She bit her lip and paced, watching the children on the sofa in the other room. They took turns dipping their hands in the popcorn bowl. “No, there’s no need to come. I waited a few minutes and tried to start it again. It’s working now. Mallory just thought I should call first.”

  She said good-bye, clicked it off and handed it back to Mallory. Her look was difficult to endure. The judgmental stare, the twisted lips, and shaking of her head. It would’ve been easier to get a smack across the cheek.

  “What? Stop looking at me like that, Mallory.”

  “Oh, you need more than a look from me, Claire. How long has this been going on? Is this something new? Don’t tell me it’s been going on for a while?”

  “It’s new.” Claire couldn’t tell her the truth. She wouldn’t understand. She got the guy of her dreams. She stood up to her dad and married him. The only one who made the sacrifice was Jason. Instead of social work, he was a slave to Mr. Prescott. Who knows? Maybe he was cheating on Mallory. Claire hoped not.

  “You need to go in and look at those children who have no idea what their parents are doing to ruin their lives.” Mallory pointed at the silliness the kids were doing while imitating what was on the screen.

  Not the kid guilt card. Claire used that one on herself all the time. Couldn’t Mallory think of something else? Like how the divorce would be long and painful, followed by plagues of frogs, disease, and being stoned in the middle of Central Park? If only it were that easy. The stoning would be easy compared to the mental torture of ruining Alex and Pearl’s lives. Not to mention Colin’s family.

  “I know all about that, Mallory. Don’t you think that’s what stops me from calling Alex at work and confessing I can’t go one more day pretending to be happy?” She raked her fingers through her hair. “I’ve rehearsed it a million times in the mirror. Trying out the right words, looking completely consumed by guilt and self-destruction when saying it. The fact that it’s not my happiness that matters is what stops me. I know it’s the other lives that wouldn’t be able to stand up to the pitfall of my mistake. I can bear it better than they could.” She became angry, her jaw locked. “But, when is it that I can be happy? When can I wallow in selfishness and say ‘to hell with everyone, I want to feel complete’? I want a chance at living happily ever after.” She looked down. Her hands fell to her sides. “The fact is no one deserves to be unhappy. But least of all Alex and Pearl. He’s a good man and I wish sometimes I never moved into that apartment he had for rent.”

  “Do you even love him? I see the way he does things for you, Claire. I think he loves you very much.”

  Claire swallowed hard. “He does. I know he does. And I love him, Mallory. Just not the way I love Colin. It’s more of a I’d-lay-in-front-of-a-train-for-him kind of love, and the kind I feel for Colin is he is the train. He consumes me.”

  Mallory stayed very still, standing against the sink in the kitchen. The kids were murmuring about the movie in the next room. “It’s your and Colin’s cross to bear, Claire. As a woman who’s potentially being cheated on, I can tell you I’d rather be lost in the dark than be told by him how much happier he’d be with someone else.” She pushed herself off the counter and walked over to get her drink. She took a sip. “We aren’t stupid, you know. We sense when our spouses aren’t there with us. When they’re someplace else in their minds. But it affords us the chance to change and become someone who can get them back. Without having to know definitively where they were or who they were with. Because the details would kill us. All we have is the hope of being able to salvage something and move past it, still married and still keeping our family together.” She touched Claire’s shoulder. “So don’t think you’re the only one suffering here. Alex is suffering just as badly. Spare him the confession and try to make the most of your marriage. Forget about Colin.”

  Claire quietly walked from the room to go give Pearl a kiss good-night. She turned and waved at Mallory on her way out the door. Her window of opportunity to think fate wanted her with Colin had been closed by the vantage point of the other side to the affair, the devoted spouse.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Time for a Change

  The next morning, Claire woke up feeling the need to leave the island…and Colin. She’d made the decision to make it work with Alex. A sound decision, not a “biding her time” kind of decision. Maybe her talk with Mallory was a godsend. She’d never taken the time to see what this devotion she had to Colin was doing to her husband. Like sonic waves, her absence in heart was killing her marriage. Not that she had any control over her heart, but seeing it would never be beside Colin, she needed to do all she could to be with Alex. And that meant being with him mind and body.

  “Maybe we could go back to New York today, Alex. We could leave Pearl with your mother so they’d still have time together, but we could return home.”

  She stood next to him at the dresser, watching him get dressed for the day. She was still in her nightgown, a white cotton dress that covered past her knees. It was someth
ing like the one she’d shed on the dock that night she went skinny-dipping with Colin.

  “I know why I want to catch the next ferry out of here, but why are you in such a hurry?” He looked at her out of the corner of his eye before throwing his shirt over his head.

  “I don’t know.” She rested on her knees at the foot of the bed. “I was thinking we could go home and spend some time with just the two of us. It’s been a long time since we’ve been alone. We could go to the Hamptons and lay around on the beach all day, then go out to eat at night. We could be lazy and do anything we want. You know how boring that is to Pearl. We could sleep until noon and watch stupid reality shows and eat lunch in bed.” She fell back on the bed, the sheets tangled from her twisting in them all night.

  She knew he enjoyed lying in bed past breakfast, lounging in his boxers. It was nothing that floated her boat, but marriage was about giving and taking. Now she just wanted to be taken from the island, then she’d start giving of herself. She planned in her mind that she’d start making love to Alex more than they’d been. Each time he initiated it, she’d seemed to always have a reason to not.

  “That sounds better than playing nice with the others here. I’ll talk to Mom about it.”

  She jumped up from the bed and kissed him on the cheek before he left to talk to Evie. He gave her that look. Like something was different. Again.

  ∞ ∞ ∞

  His mom and dad were sitting at the table with Emily eating breakfast when Alex walked in. “Good morning, everyone.”

  “Good morning, son,” his dad answered.

  “I’m surprised I didn’t have to go and get Pearl last night. She must’ve enjoyed herself with her cousins.”

  “So much in fact, Colin has taken them all downtown for breakfast with Mallory. They should be back soon.” Emily took a drink of her juice.

  “Downtown? No one called and asked if it was all right for Pearl to leave. She doesn’t even have a change of clothes. I’m pretty sure she left with only her nightgown on.” His eyes were smaller, and his brow was twisted with anger. How dare Colin take his daughter anywhere.

  “Calm down, dear,” his mother said. “She borrowed one of Mallory’s tee shirts and Bailey had a pair of shorts that fit her. She’ll be fine. It’s not like she’s been abducted.”

  Little did his mother know, but she had been abducted…by her biological father. Alex didn’t want them spending any time together. As if the more time they shared, it would be harder to figure out it wasn’t his own offspring. Alex had stared at Colin the night before at dinner until his head ached. Searching the arch of his eyes, the dimple on his cheek. Did he use his left hand to eat, or was there a tick to how he answered questions? Anything that would be a dead giveaway that he was the natural father of Alex’s daughter. The little girl who he’d die if he had to live without her. She’d stolen a piece of his heart, like her mother had done so, years ago.

  Just as his blood pressure hit a crescendo inside his ears, all four children burst into the dining room, trying to all speak at the same time. Pearl tugged on her dad’s shirt, pulling him down to her level.

  “Daddy, Daddy, guess what Colin bought us? He bought a plane!” Her eyes danced with excitement. “He’s going to let me fly it. Can you believe it? Come and see it.” She pulled his arm, trying to get him to follow.

  “Hold on, pumpkin.” He shot Colin a look. He wasn’t sure what his motives were. Nothing with that guy could be taken at face value.

  “Alex, you don’t mind, do you? The kids wanted to go into the toy shop.” He glanced at Mallory. “It wasn’t even open yet. The owner was having breakfast in the same café as us and agreed to unlocking the door so they’d be able to look around before coming back home.”

  “Oh, Daddy,” Pearl interrupted. She looked like a balloon with too much air, getting ready to burst. “It was on the tall shelf in the back of the store. I saw it first. Colin said he’d get it so we could fly it. Come outside with us and watch me.”

  Alex surrendered to the animation of his little girl—her big eyes and praying hands. He could never disappoint her. He went out to the yard and stood back, looking at the large-scale model plane that sat in the lush bed of grass. It was painted white with red stripes. The doors were even able to open. Pearl begged to put a passenger inside, one of her Barbie dolls.

  “Let’s first get used to the controls, Pearl.” Colin picked up the plane and walked to the side field of the house. The other curious children followed, but none of them hopped up and down like Pearl.

  ∞ ∞ ∞

  Claire found Emily reading in the living room when she came downstairs. Knowing what she and Colin were doing dug a trench of guilt, leaving Claire to stay on her side of it. She walked past the woman and went into the kitchen. No one was in the house, it seemed, except for the two of them. Claire picked up a cinnamon roll from the plate on the stove and began nibbling at it, looking out the window. She hoped Alex had gone to pick up Pearl from the guesthouse. She was surprised her little girl managed to stay the entire night without calling for one of them to come get her.

  “If you’re wondering where the others are, they’re outside with Colin and his new toy.”

  The quietness of her approach into the room scared Claire into choking on her bite of food. She held her hand to her mouth and coughed.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Emily set her book on the counter and poured Claire a glass of orange juice.

  Claire took it from her, trying to catch her breath. “Thank you.” She took another sip and cleared her throat. “Did you say toy?”

  “Yes.” Emily rolled her eyes. “He said it was Pearl who saw and wanted it, but I’d bet money it was his idea.”

  “What are you talking about?” Who had Pearl and what did she want? Claire’s attention was fixated on the proximity of Colin and her daughter…his daughter.

  “He and Mallory took the children to the toy store this morning and came back with a remote-control plane. They’re all out there now flying it. Who knows where. We’re surrounded by water. Maybe it’ll take a nose dive into the water and we won’t have to deal with it anymore.”

  Among other thoughts going through Claire’s mind was the weirdness of how Emily was acting. Was Claire missing the reason the woman should be disgusted by this toy? “You seem agitated. To put it mildly.”

  She flipped her dark hair back off her shoulder. “It’s just another excuse for Colin to get into flying. I swear, it’s been the dagger to our marriage. He knows how I feel about flying, yet he is always trying to bring it into our relationship in some fashion. He tried to get Mirabel liking planes.”

  Claire laid the uneaten portion of her bun on the napkin and wiped her hands. “Sometimes marriages are about sacrifices. If it’s something he likes to do, why don’t you just let him do it? Let him fly planes if it makes him happy.”

  Claire could’ve sworn she had a buzzard roosting on her head for the look Emily shot her. As if. The young woman crooked her jaw. “It’s dangerous. I guess I don’t look forward to receiving a phone call stating he’s crashed and died in a wreck. Perhaps you’d feel the same way if your little girl wants to grow up and pilot a plane.”

  Claire thought about it. It certainly put perspective to it, but still, Colin asked for very little. And, if she had any amount of faith, she’d trust he’d be all right. “Well, let’s hope I’ll never have to wait for that call.” She set down her glass. “I’ll go outside and see what they’re all up to.”

  ∞ ∞ ∞

  The plane was soaring high in the sky and Colin was crouched down beside Pearl, helping her with the controls. The other children stood watching with fidgety hands and opened mouths. Alex and his mom and dad all had their hands shielding their eyes, watching as the plane nose-dove and took off again through the sky. Claire looked at Pearl, beaming with joy.

  Mallory stood down by the edge of the grass where the sand began and the
mower stopped. She paced back and forth, hand on her head, talking on the phone. It seemed intense.

  Claire waited until she was finished before she approached her. She didn’t know whether she still had a friend or not. “Hey, was that Jason?”

  “Yep.” She stared out at the water. Its calm surf caressed the wet sand. “He’s on his way here.”

  “That’s great, Mallory.” Claire grabbed and hugged her. Mallory was slow to return her embrace.

  “What’s wrong?” Claire stepped back and looked at her.

  “I’ll never know if it’s because he wants to come, or I guilted him into coming.”

  “I see.” Claire’s eyes fell on the grass. “You believe he’s guilty of something, then?”

  “After finding you and Colin last night, I’m never going to be able to think anything better about Jason. I mean, if you two can fool all of us, and probably have been since forever, how can I think Jason isn’t leading a second life?”

  “It’s not like that, Mallory.”

  “Isn’t it, Claire? How long have you two been seeing each other? Lying to Emily and Alex?”

  Claire turned to make sure everyone was still watching the plane and out of earshot. “I told you that last summer I stayed here, after I graduated college, I fell in love with him.”

  “Well, why didn’t you all get married? There was nothing holding you back. Why wait until you were married to other people and have children to try to get together? I don’t understand.”

  “It’s complicated, Mallory. Colin was all but told to marry Emily. It mattered very little what we wanted. Your father had his beachfront house already picked out in North Carolina. You, of all people, should think this sounds familiar. Jason couldn’t pursue his dreams and go into social work. Instead, he works at the family business. Your dad has a way of controlling lives.”

  Mallory grabbed the back of her neck. She had to realize her husband’s career was a big part of his unhappiness. “At least we married.”