Crash and Burn (Love You Like A Love Song #1)

by Michele Callahan

  “I’m sorry. But I have to go. I’m not going to turn down the biggest break of my life because you guys can’t stop smoking, drinking, and fucking everything with tits. You can throw your lives away if you want to. I can’t stop you. I’ve tried, but I quit. I’m done. And especially, you, AJ. You can drink yourself into the ground, just like mom did, but I’m not going down with you.” The words hurt coming out, but they also made her feel stronger.

  “Fuck you, Erin.” AJ grabbed his hoodie off the hook by the front door and stormed out with his shoes in his hands.

  An uncomfortable silence descended as Todd and Ricky just stared at her. She wiped a tear from her cheek and shook her head to clear it. “You guys okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m good.” Todd sighed. “Actually, you just saved me a whole lot of trouble. I already talked to Ricky about looking for another drummer. I was out anyway.”

  “Why?” She couldn’t believe it.

  Todd grinned, and his eyes sparkled. “Mel’s pregnant and I asked her to marry me. I got a job at the Shopper Mart as a management trainee. Good pay and health insurance. Mel and the baby are going to need it, you know?”

  Erin walked over and gave Todd a hug. “Congratulations. I can’t believe it.”

  Ricky punched Todd on the shoulder. “Poor Melanie’s going to be stuck looking at your ugly mug for the rest of her life.”

  “Hell yeah, she is.” Todd’s smile lit up the whole room and lifted the heavy weight of AJ’s anger from her, at least a little. “I hope it’s a girl. Pink dresses and ribbons and shit.”

  Erin hugged him tight, then stepped back. “A baby girl will have you wrapped around her little finger the second she’s born.”

  “Naw.” Todd lowered his head and stared at his shoes. “Doesn’t matter about the baby, boy or girl, I can’t wait. But it don’t matter. Mel’s got me wrapped up tight already.”

  Ricky plopped down into their one recliner and Erin watched him. “What about you? You okay with this?”

  “It sucks. I won’t lie. But I’ll fucking deal. They’ve been wanting to give me more hours at work, and I’ve been playing with a few guys around town. I’ll figure something out.”

  “I can give you Eddie’s number. He works with me at the guitar shop and his band is pretty good.”

  “Yeah? Cool.” His gaze drifted toward the door. “I’ll be fine, but I don’t know about AJ. He’s always hanging on by his fingernails, you know? This might blow him up.”

  Erin had no doubt her leaving would throw AJ into a tailspin, but she couldn’t sacrifice her life and her future because he refused to stop drinking. He was a big boy now. All grown up. Time to let him take care of himself. She’d done it, entered rehab on her own when she was nineteen. It was time for her brother to grow up.

  She gave Ricky a quick hug and retreated to her room. It was still early. Chance would be at work for hours and hours. But she wanted him now, had come to rely on his steady support and even temper. He’d become like an anchor that kept her centered and made her feel like everything was going to be all right. He made her feel safe and secure and strong enough to stand up to her brother.

  She had it bad. So damn bad. Leaving him was going to make her soul bleed.

  With a sigh, she sent him a text.

  Hey. I told the band. All OK except AJ. He hates me.

  She pressed send, then gave in and sent him another message.

  I’ll be at work. Off at 6:00. Pick me up? Please? I need you.

  Chance Walker was her only addiction these days, and she was afraid that no matter how many years passed, or where she was in the world, she’d never break free.

  <><><>

  Chance stared at the stack of unread legal briefs that the senior partner had dumped on his desk this morning. He wanted to wade through all of that garbage about as much as he wanted to bathe in oil and set himself on fire.

  When had the challenge become a burden instead of a thrill? He loved the chase, loved pouring through stacks of documents for the one fact, the one line, the one obscure law that he needed to find to win. Winning in the legal arena was all that mattered, and victory often depended on being the first one to find a needle in the haystack.

  He was damn good at finding that needle, which was the reason he’d rebounded after his horrible performance at the deposition a couple weeks ago. The pot-bellied old law dog had walked in here yesterday believing he was going to run Chance over like he had before. But Chance was prepared, and two hours in, the opposing council halted the proceedings and walked out of their conference room.

  An hour after that, he received a settlement offer for the young mother and son that he represented.

  A month ago, Chance would’ve been on cloud nine. Three weeks ago, he would have been patting himself on the back, bragging to his brothers, and taking the new legal assistant up on her offer of drinks after work.

  Now, all he cared about was the countdown to losing Erin.

  “Walker. Good job yesterday.” Bill Watson, the firm’s founding partner, appeared at the side of his desk and held out his hand. Chance got to his feet and shook it.

  “Thanks.” Bill held on to Chance’s hand and lifted his left to wrap it around Chance’s forearm.

  “I’ve been watching you for two years, Chance. Since the first day you interned for us back when you were still in school.”

  Chance nodded, not sure where this was going. “Hard to believe it’s been two years.” That was a lie. At least today. Today it felt like fifty.

  “We aren’t a large firm, but we’ve got a good reputation in the city and we are always looking for talent.” Bill lifted his hand from Chance’s forearm to smack him on the shoulder. “I wanted to be the first to congratulate you. Yesterday convinced me that you’ve got what it takes. Convinced the others, too.”

  “Thanks.” Chance smiled, but knew it was weak. His phone buzzed silently in his pocket and all he wanted to do was ditch Bill and check that message. It was probably Erin.

  “We voted an hour ago, in the board meeting.”

  “What?” Voted? Chance’s head started to spin and he had to force himself to focus on what Bill was saying.

  “Congratulations, Chance. You’re our new junior partner. HR will bring up the paperwork in a couple hours.” Bill Watson slapped him on the shoulder again and walked away with a grin on his face.

  Chance stood there, staring after him, stunned. Junior partner? He’d just passed the bar six months ago. There were two other junior partners in the firm, and they both had nice big offices, their own legal assistants, and made at least three times his current salary.

  His phone buzzed again and he pulled it from his pocket before dropping into his chair. It was Erin, and the words he saw made his heart race. Especially the last three.

  I need you.

  If only that were true.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Erin paced the storefront, unable to contain her nervous energy. Chance would be here any minute, and she knew he’d ask questions. He’d read the contract by now, which actually helped her relax a little. All that legalese made her head hurt, and she had spent half of her time Googling words she didn’t know. Unfortunately, the internet wasn’t much help. Most of the time, one legal term she didn’t know led to another, and another.

  She’d read the contract, every word. But some of it still didn’t make sense.

  Chance pulled up in his car and she bit her lip to keep from hopping up and down in her eagerness to see him. Dancing around like a freak was so not her style, at least not when she wasn’t up onstage.

  She had an appointment to meet Wesley Shipton and Axel Thomas later for drinks, and she wanted Chance to go with her. She’d left the wigs at home and wore a professional pencil skirt, blouse, and heels. But not traditional, and very boring black and cream. No. Her skirt and four-inch spike heels were bright white and neon green striped, topped by a sheer white blouse over a pure white, lace cami.

  All business, b
ut not boring. She felt like a kid playing grownup who had raided mommy’s closet. The only other time she’d worn a skirt like this had been to her mother’s funeral.

  “No. Don’t go there, Erin.” She wrapped her hands across her stomach and held her guts in place by sheer force of will. The funeral, and the years of chaos since? Not things she wanted to think about today.

  Today she was a professional. Today she had the power. She had what Shipton Records wanted, not the other way around. She was talented and beautiful and she wrote hit songs. They wanted her. That was a given.

  And so did Chance. Knowing what was coming later tonight, in his bed, sent her nerves from high altitude into far Earth orbit. And he hadn’t even gotten out of the car.

  His door opened and she walked toward him. The sight of his muscular chest hugged by a tight black T-shirt brought her slamming right back down to earth in a fundamental reset. Her heart raced as she met his curious gaze, but when he smiled, she forgot to breathe.

  “Hey. You look great. Special occasion? Or did you put on those sexy shoes just for me?” He stood there, one hand on the top of his car, the other arm resting along the top of the driver’s door, and completed a slow, very deliberate inspection of her. “Because I have to say, those heels are totally working for me.”

  “I’m meeting with Shipton Records tonight. I want you to go with me.” Unable to resist, she turned and jutted out one hip to show off her legs. They looked great, her bare skin on display from just above the knee to the tips of her toes, which showed off the bright white tips of her French-style pedicure.

  She’d spent an hour on them last night just so she could wear these shoes.

  He stared for a moment, as if he expected her to say more, but she couldn’t think of anything else to say and an awkward silence built between them until the air felt thick with it.

  Chance stepped back and slammed his car door closed while Erin watched, frozen by the need to inspect the muscles in his bare forearms. Didn’t attorneys sit behind a desk all day? Because that man did not get that hot fucking body as a desk jockey.

  “What do you do, again? Aren’t you supposed to be a lawyer?”

  He looked up over the top of the car and met her gaze. “Something like that.”

  “So, do you go to the gym or what?”

  Chance’s eyebrows dropped into a slight frown. “What?” He walked toward her with a small black briefcase in his hand.

  “Nothing. You’re just sexy. That’s all.”

  The moment the car stopped blocking her view of his torso she had to take a step to keep her feet under her. Staring at him in that T-shirt was wrecking her balance in these shoes.

  When he stood close enough to touch, he stopped. “Aren’t we going inside? You said you wanted to go over the contract.”

  Was that his pulse racing at the base of his throat?

  “Erin?”

  “Huh?” Startled, she twitched and the keys she’d had in her hand dropped to the concrete walkway that lined the front of the music store.

  He bent down, retrieved her keys and dangled them right in front of her nose. His grin told her he knew exactly what she’d been looking at just moments ago. “Are we going inside? You wanted Samantha to read over the contract as well. Or have you changed your mind in the last thirty minutes?”

  “Oh. Right.” She snatched the keys from his hand, ignored his grin, and refused to look straight at him. Nope. Not going to look until this part of the day was over. Just being this close tormented her with memories of his hands and his mouth…everywhere.

  “You need to stop looking at me like that.”

  “Like what?” Oh, she knew, but she just couldn’t control herself. She stepped forward and wrapped her hands around his waist because she could. Because, right now, he was hers. “Like I’ll die if you don’t kiss me?”

  She lifted her lips in silent invitation and sighed happily when he lowered his lips to hers and took what she offered. She hadn’t seen him all day, and she missed him. Judging by the hard length of him pressed to her stomach, he’d missed her, too.

  “Come on, you two.” Samantha’s laughter brought her crashing back to reality and Chance ended the kiss, his forehead pressed to hers.

  “Be there in a second.” Erin waved her hand to try and make Sam go away. She wanted more Chance time.

  “Nope. No way. I leave now and I won’t see you for a week.” Sam stood, bracing the door open with her hip. “Come on. You have to meet with Shipton tonight. You can kiss your man later.”

  “She’s right.” Chance’s eyes gleamed with laughter as she grumbled in response.

  “I know.” Erin pulled back and looked up, eager to lose herself in the depths of his warm brown eyes. “But I missed you.”

  He took her by the hand and led her inside.

  Had she really known him for just a couple of weeks? It seemed like much, much longer. Already her life was sorting recent memories into the before Chance or after Chance categories.

  She followed him into the store and straight back to the teaching room. She pulled her spare guitar from inside one of the room’s two large closets. The closets were full of printed music, instruments, and the personal memorabilia that belonged to the shop’s owner. Original tour posters. Stacks of sheet music and books. A box full of strange wires, connectors, and other electronic junk took up half of the closet floor.

  Guitar across her lap, Erin strummed a G chord and settled in the chair. “All right. Let’s get this over with.”

  “You need a guitar on your lap?” His hand appeared at the edge of her vision right before his fingers wrapped around her chin. He lifted her head gently and settled his lips over hers in a kiss so soft and tender, so gentle that she would have melted into a puddle of boneless goo at his feet if he hadn’t been holding on to her. The kiss ended and she leaned forward, chasing his mouth with her own. She tottered on the edge of her chair for balance. Almost fell.

  The man was potent. “What?”

  “I said, do you really need a guitar across your lap to look over this contract?” He ran his thumb across her bottom lip, stealing the moisture of their kiss from her.

  “Yes. It helps me think.”

  “Okay.” He took his usual seat and Samantha pulled another folding chair out of one of the closets and set it down as close to his as she could get it. He had the contract out on his lap, and Samantha craned her neck to read over his shoulder.

  With his attention focused on the paperwork in front of him, she sighed in relief. When all that intensity fixated on her, she really couldn’t think.

  “Erin, you said you’ve read this?”

  “Yes.”

  He nodded in approval and she felt warm and soft inside, until he lifted his gaze to hers. Looking into his eyes stole every thought in her head. “Okay. Let’s start with that. Did you have any questions?”

  “What?” She been completely distracted staring at his lips. Geez. It was like her IQ dropped to sub-human levels whenever he was around. Conversational genius? One-word sentences? Sound like a brainless idiot? She could check all that off her bucket list. Fortunately, the grin that spread across his face would indicate that he liked her anyway. His next words confirmed it.

  “You’re adorable sometimes.” He grinned and Samantha made a gagging noise.

  “You two are sickening. I’m starting to think I never should have set you up.”

  That got Chance’s attention. “What are you talking about?”

  Samantha grinned and slapped her hands together as she answered in her sweetest, sing-song voice. “Don’t you remember? I told you to ask for Erin, our absolute, very best guitar teacher, ever in the history of guitar teachers.”

  Erin groaned. “Sam. Really? Is this necessary?”

  Chance leaned closer to Samantha and whispered to her like Erin couldn’t hear every single word. “She had the hots for me on day one, didn’t she?”

  “Totally. Called it.”

  “I
knew it.” He winked at Erin, then sat up straight and put on his serious face. “Okay. So, I’ve highlighted potential problems in yellow…”

  Erin paid attention because she had to. Time to get to business. This was her future they were talking about. Her future without him.

  Two hours later they were at Chance’s place. He wanted to change clothes before they met up with the label execs and Erin left him to it. She thought the black pants and T-shirt he’d had on was fine. He disagreed.

  So, here she sat in his living room staring at the wall, the thick cream-colored carpeting, the gas fireplace, the dark blue throw pillows and puffy leather couch cushions. Anything to keep her mind off him, upstairs, in his bedroom…with no clothes on.

  “Get a grip.” She knew part of her reckless desire was nerves. She was so scared to meet with Shipton again that the idea of losing herself in a few hours of mindless sexual pleasure held a whole lot of appeal.

  The whole situation made her wish she hadn’t given up drinking.

  She stood and walked toward several small shelves next to his entertainment center. There wasn’t much clutter, just a photo of him with a soft-looking older woman she assumed was his mother, a second shot of him with his three brothers, all of whom she recognized from the bar last week. They were out in the middle of the country somewhere, standing in front of a row of horses.

  Hmmm. Chance in a cowboy hat?

  She traced his face where he smiled up at her from beneath the glass with the pad of her finger. Totally hot. Later tonight she might ask him to wear that hat to bed.

  She grinned at the thought and set the photo back on the dark wooden shelf. A flash of green caught her eye and she reached for a child’s card. The Incredible Hulk roared at her from the cover. Curious as to why he had it out, she opened the card.

  Dear Mom,

  This is Chance. I’m ten. And since it’s your birthday, I will do what you wanted me to, which is write this stuff down.

  Erin smiled. Ten-year-old Chance had written this card, and his sloppy, grade-school handwriting tugged at her heartstrings.