Only Love Can Heal

by Rosie Harris

  She ran her fingers through his thick hair, pulling his head down so that she could reach up and press her lips once more against his in a deep and satisfying kiss. As she did so she felt the lean tautness of his body harden against her own communicating his desire.

  Knowing that he needed her every bit as much as she wanted him was all that mattered, she decided. It would be the bedrock on which they would build their marriage no matter what other difficulties they had to face.

  ‘Let’s go upstairs … before anyone else knows that you have arrived,’ she whispered invitingly.

  Grinning broadly, Robert picked up his case and followed her. After what had happened in Germany, and Kate’s persistent silence ever since, he had certainly not expected his homecoming to be quite so welcoming.

  Chapter 15

  Robert’s Christmas leave set the pattern for the ensuing years. When they were together, they were ecstatically happy, nothing else mattered, and with every leave their love for each other seemed to deepen.

  Kate still considered Robert to be the most handsome man she had ever set eyes on. Everything from his burnished shock of hair to his swaggering military stride, spelled perfection in her eyes. As he matured, his figure with its wide shoulders, slim hips and long muscular legs became more powerful, even more masculine. She felt proud to be seen with him.

  Her heart still quickened when his brilliant green eyes lit up with enthusiasm, or darkened when his emotions were stirred. She even approved of the moustache he decided to grow when he was promoted to Major.

  ‘You’ll be twirling the ends of it in no time, just like my father,’ she teased the first time she saw it.

  ‘Mm! By the time I get my promotion to Colonel it might well be long enough to do that,’ he replied, taking her remark seriously.

  And for his part, Robert found Kate more captivating at each homecoming. Her satin smooth skin with its delicate peaches-and-cream colouring, her deep brown eyes that so often became dark mysterious pools when they looked into his, the perfect oval face with its delicate bones and expressive inviting mouth, never failed to fill him with desire. Whether she was wearing tweeds, a twinset and pearls, or one of the latest ‘New Look’ outfits with their nipped-in waists and full skirts to mid-calf, her long, shapely legs and firm breasts ensured an elegance that he found highly pleasing.

  They were so attuned to each other’s needs that it seemed hard to believe that in effect, they led separate lives. Robert’s promotion to the rank of Major satisfied her that his army career was still going well so she didn’t question how he spent his leisure time.

  Lady Dorothea’s health continued to give rise to concern but once Kate had managed to convince her that she had no intention of leaving her she became less clinging. She even accepted that Kate needed interests of her own and raised no objections when Kate participated in local events or, occasionally, went on a shopping trip with Eleanor to Taunton or Bristol.

  It was only if she stayed away overnight, that Lady Dorothea became agitated. When Kate told her that she and Eleanor were planning a few days in London, so that they could be outside Westminster Abbey when Princess Elizabeth married Prince Philip, Lady Dorothea made a great fuss and became extremely upset.

  ‘Waste of time I call it,’ Mabel Sharp sniffed disapprovingly. ‘There’s far too much fuss being made about this wedding. And letting her have all those extra coupons for her dress, unfair I call it.’

  ‘Well, Eleanor and I will let you know if Princess Elizabeth’s dress really was worth three hundred coupons,’ Kate laughed.

  ‘It will be so dreadfully crowded, my dear, do you think it is wise to go?’ Sir Henry demurred. He rarely interfered in the domestic scene but seeing how distressed Lady Dorothea had become, he feared it might bring on another heart attack.

  ‘I was in London on VE Day and I doubt if there could be a crowd bigger than the one that was outside the Palace then,’ Kate reminded him.

  In spite of everyone’s protests, Kate and Eleanor went ahead with their plan to go up to London for three days. On the morning they were to leave, Lady Dorothea complained of pains in her chest. She certainly looked ill so Kate phoned Eleanor and said she thought they had better call off the trip.

  ‘Nonsense, she’s playing up. Phone Doctor Elwell, you know what she is like,’ Eleanor said cheerfully. ‘We’ll take a later train.’

  Like Eleanor, Doctor Elwell thought there was very little cause for concern and urged Kate to go ahead with her plans.

  ‘The break will do you good, and I don’t think your mother will come to much harm,’ he assured her. ‘Anyway, if it makes you any easier in your mind I will call in each morning while you are away and check that she is all right.’

  Kate was glad she had taken his advice because it was to be their last major outing. Eleanor was pregnant and when Geoffrey was born, their lifestyle changed considerably.

  Watching Eleanor with her new baby, a tiny replica of Ralph with his jet hair and dark blue eyes, Kate felt envious and longed for the day when she would have a baby of her own.

  Once, but only once in all the years she remained at home nursing her mother, did Kate ring the Hanover number. The same woman’s voice, the voice she was quite convinced was Maria’s, answered. Unnerved, her hand trembling, Kate quickly replaced the receiver. The incident haunted her for weeks. It was like picking the scab from an old wound and feeling the smarting pain afresh.

  When Robert next came on leave, Kate tried to bring the matter up but he had quickly turned away.

  That night, his passion had been intense, almost brutal, as if he was determined to master her completely with a callous intimacy. When she protested that his violent lovemaking was hurting her, he became overwhelmingly gentle and tender until she was the demanding one. Wild with pent up longings, and the need to establish that their love was something special, she was determined to push him across the emotional brink. Every movement, every touch took on a new significance as she demonstrated her needs as never before.

  When Lady Dorothea died suddenly and peacefully in her sleep, Robert was on leave prior to going to Cyprus. His long spell in Germany had finally ended. A few years earlier, when the Korean war had broken out, Kate had been worried in case he was sent to the Far East. Then, later, when George VI had died and Queen Elizabeth had come to the throne, there had been rumours that his regiment would be returning from Germany to serve ‘in waiting’.

  They did return to London but only for the Coronation. Eleanor and Kate were not amongst the two million people who crammed the capital to see the golden State Coach, drawn by eight greys, carry Princess Elizabeth in regal splendour from Buckingham Palace to Westminster Abbey and bring her back as Queen Elizabeth II.

  ‘Why don’t you come to Cyprus with me,’ Robert suggested after they returned to Walford Grange after Lady Dorothea’s funeral.

  He held her close, tenderly pushing back her dark hair from her high brow. ‘Come on, you’ll be thirty-two in October, life’s slipping by. It really is time you lived a little and saw something of the world.’

  ‘I don’t know …’ Although her voice was hesitant there was eagerness in her deep brown eyes.

  ‘It is what you need after eight years of caring for your mother. It will be like starting a new life … our life together at last,’ Robert persisted.

  ‘What about my father?’

  ‘Sir Henry would be the first to agree with me. He is so wrapped up in his farming projects that he will probably never even notice that you are not here. Ask him, I am sure he will agree,’ he added confidently.

  Sir Henry did.

  ‘Of course you must go with him, my dear,’ he affirmed, twirling the spiked ends of his moustache. ‘It has been difficult for both of you having to live apart all these years.’

  ‘But it means you will be left here all on your own …’

  ‘Nonsense! This place has so many staff that I will never have a moment to myself.’

  The though
t of exchanging the cold and damp of the coming British winter for the sunshine of Cyprus was a temptation in itself and she was easily persuaded.

  ‘You will be back home again next Spring,’ her father pointed out. ‘Just think of it as a long overdue holiday and enjoy yourself. I may even fly out and join you for a week after Christmas.’

  Kate felt nervous about meeting Robert’s fellow officers and their wives. It seemed incredible, even to her, that she and Robert had been married for over eight years and she had never met any of them and never attended any of the functions to which wives were regularly invited.

  Her greatest concern was in case those who had been in Hanover with the regiment might have met Maria. She desperately wanted to ask Robert about this but each time she tried to do so her courage failed. In the end, she convinced herself that since Maria would not be in Cyprus, there was nothing to worry about.

  Kate found Cyprus was far more agreeable than she had imagined it would be. Their house in Nicosia was high on a hill, looking out over the Mediterranean. The climate, the companionship, the galaxy of events to which wives were invited, ensured a charmed existence. The months rolled by, a long delightful holiday, just as her father had predicted.

  ‘You look wonderful,’ Sir Henry enthused when he came to visit them just after Christmas. He couldn’t remember when she had looked better, he thought, admiring her suntanned figure, her carefree wind-blown look and happy laughing face.

  ‘Thank you!’

  ‘You are enjoying life out here?’

  ‘Very much. I’ve never felt so well, or so happy.’

  Robert went to great lengths to ensure that when they were in the Mess he always referred to Kate’s father as General Sir Henry Russell. He also stressed to all concerned the fact that Sir Henry had once served in their regiment, so as to ensure that he was always treated with the correct deference.

  The visit was such a success that instead of returning to Walford Grange at the end of the week, as planned, Sir Henry stayed on for a further ten days. Kate was overjoyed that the two men had come to terms with each other. It was easy to see that her father was proud of the way Robert had forged ahead in the army and carved out a worthwhile career for himself.

  ‘You should be a Colonel by the time you are ready to retire,’ Sir Henry told him confidently during his stay.

  ‘I would like to think so,’ Robert agreed, ‘but the nearer the top you get the harder it becomes to get promotion. There’s not even “dead men’s shoes” in peace time. It is a question of waiting for one of the top brass to retire.’

  ‘Mmm! You will get there, my boy,’ Sir Henry affirmed, tapping the side of his nose with a forefinger.

  Kate was secretly relieved to see her father leave. Although the build up of tension before his arrival had been quite groundless since there had been an excellent rapport between him and Robert, it was now taking its toll. She felt completely enervated, and was looking forward to some early nights and less strenuous days.

  At first, Robert thought she was missing her father when she appeared slightly off-colour. Then, when she began to complain of feeling sick when she woke each morning and to refuse breakfast he became more concerned and insisted she saw the doctor.

  ‘When are you planning to return to England, Mrs Campbell?’ the army medico enquired.

  ‘I haven’t a date as yet. I think my husband’s tour of duty ends in August.’

  ‘I see.’ He pursed his lips and doodled on the pad in front of him for a moment. ‘I think you should return towards the end of May, certainly no later than June, because, if my calculations are correct, your baby is due towards the end of July and I don’t recommend flying after seven months.’

  ‘Baby … what are you talking about?’

  ‘You are pregnant, Mrs Campbell. Didn’t you recognise the symptoms?’

  ‘No!’ Kate shook her head bemused. Her mind went back to the early days of Eleanor’s pregnancy, the bouts of early morning sickness, the way certain foods and smells made her feel queasy. She should have known, the symptoms were exactly the same.

  At first Robert was dazed by the news, then incredibly jubilant. He wanted to phone her father right away but she restrained him.

  ‘I can tell him when I go home,’ she protested.

  ‘No! Your father should be told right away so that he can make any necessary changes to his Will. This baby could make all the difference to his plans for the future of Walford Grange. Don’t you see, it will stop him selling out!’

  His remark staggered Kate. Although her father had now turned seventy she didn’t regard him as ready for retirement. He certainly didn’t look old. His hair, though thinning, was still brown except at the temples, his bearing still imposing and his voice as commanding as ever.

  The only significant deterioration was that he now suffered from arthritis which sometimes made walking difficult, something he went to great lengths to disguise.

  Robert’s inference that her father was contemplating retirement, and his obvious concern over the future of Walford Grange, made her acutely uneasy. It was her home, and it had been the home of the Russells, for generations. He couldn’t possibly be thinking of leaving there.

  As she lay on the shaded verandah, looking out at the Mediterranean, a sparkling blue under a cloudless sky, Kate tried to piece together what her father’s plans might be. She remembered the way he had refused to consider Robert running Home Farm. She thought of how involved her father had become since his retirement in improving the land and expanding both crops and cattle. It had never, at any time, entered her head that he might be doing all this with a view to selling.

  Kate returned to England in late May. The Mediterranean heat left her feeling exhausted most of the time and she was looking forward to the cool greenness of Somerset. She had written telling her father she was coming home but made no mention of the baby, apart from telling him she had a ‘surprise’ for him.

  He was so overjoyed when he heard her news that the words ‘an heir to Walford Grange’ escaped her lips before she could stop them. He frowned, but his hooded eyes concealed his full reaction to her words.

  Later, when she again broached the subject he was evasive. So much so, that in order to allay her own fears, she forced herself to ask him outright if he was contemplating selling up.

  ‘It is getting rather too much for me,’ he confessed guardedly.

  ‘But you can’t sell. It has been in the family for almost five hundred years,’ she exclaimed aghast.

  ‘I wouldn’t want to burden you with the place,’ he told her.

  ‘It wouldn’t be a burden … its my home!’

  ‘It is not as simple as that, Kate, my dear. The upkeep is enormous. You must retain servants for the house and grounds …’

  ‘But all that is offset by Home Farm,’ she interrupted.

  ‘If only that were so. I’ve done a great deal to increase the profitability of the place but it still operates on a knife edge.’

  ‘Then let Robert help you … he has farming experience.’

  Sir Henry’s expression hardened and a wall of silence came between the two of them.

  ‘It is the perfect solution,’ Kate persisted. ‘He will be leaving the army soon so what better future could he have but to run Home Farm. Then our son could be raised here. Please, you can’t deny me that,’ she pleaded wistfully.

  Chapter 16

  The sun was already high in the sky, promising another sweltering hot day, when Russell Campbell entered the world at eight o’clock on the morning of 26th July 1956. A bouncing eight-pounder he had none of the wrinkled prune-like appearance of so many newborn babies. He was as chubby as a cherub, with a shock of red-gold hair.

  Her brown eyes shining with pride, Kate counted his ten tiny toes and his long slender fingers, relieved to find that he was perfect in every respect. Her face flushed with mother-love, as she held him in the crook of her arm for Robert to admire, she felt he was worth every moment of
the arduous ten-hour labour she had endured.

  Robert was equally impressed with his son. The baby rekindled all his earlier enthusiasm and hopes about Walford Grange. ‘Russell, the future heir,’ he enthused, his green eyes glinting with satisfaction as he took the baby from Kate’s arms and held him out to Sir Henry.

  ‘You can’t name him “Russell”, it’s like putting a label round his neck!’ Sir Henry commented cryptically as he looked down at his grandson.

  ‘We thought you would be pleased that we were keeping the family name alive,’ Robert replied.

  Sir Henry didn’t answer but his shoulders drooped as if he was very tired and Kate was suddenly aware of how much he had aged in the past few months. His hair was liberally sprinkled with grey and there were lines around his eyes she hadn’t noticed before.

  ‘It was Robert’s idea … he thought it would be a nice tribute to you!’

  ‘He did, did he. To please me … not you.’

  ‘I thought it a splendid idea, too. As Robert said, it is one way of making sure there would always be a Russell at Walford Grange.’

  ‘And did he go as far as to predict when the changeover would be?’ Sir Henry asked cynically.

  ‘No, of course not,’ Kate said in a shocked voice, looking down at her baby. ‘I shouldn’t think this little chap will be interested in running the place for at least twenty years!’

  ‘I’m hardly likely to hold on that long,’ Sir Henry said harshly.

  ‘Well, perhaps baby Russell will turn out to be a child prodigy and be ready to take over by the time he is ten,’ Kate joked, smiling at her father.

  ‘If not, then doubtless Robert will act as regent.’

  ‘Let us stop speculating about the future, it’s making you morbid,’ Kate exclaimed, aware of the sharpness of her father’s tone. ‘One way or another we will make sure there are Russells at Walford Grange.’

  ‘Here, Nanny,’ she held the baby out to Mabel Sharp who was hovering nearby, ‘I think this little Russell is ready for sleep.’