The Forget-Me-Not Sonata

by Santa Montefiore

  ‘Do you know this place?’ she asked apprehensively.

  ‘Yes, I’ve been here a few times already and Vicente is expecting us,’ he replied.

  ‘Vicente?’

  ‘You’ll love Vicente, he’s a character.’ He kissed her fingers. ‘Don’t be afraid, I’ve already compromised you by bringing you here, we might as well enjoy ourselves.’ He grinned at her and once again the charm of his smile disarmed her and she found herself following him willingly into the tavern.

  Vicente recognized Louis immediately and shuffled over, weaving his way through the clutter of round wooden tables crammed with smoking guests. An old man with silver grey hair, small brown eyes and a nose that one could hook a fish on, Vicente revealed his eagerness to please and his sensibility in his jovial expression. Known in Palermo for his tango nights and good wines he beckoned them to follow him to the back of the house where he gave them a glass of his best vino tinto, complimented Audrey on her beauty and grace then indicated with an impatient nod that his wife should start the music again, from the beginning. ‘The steps aren’t so important at this level,’ he began, rolling up the sleeves of the white shirt that he wore beneath a black waistcoat. ‘You have to feel the music and let it lead you.’ He beat his chest with his fist to illustrate his point and emphasized the word ‘feel’ by closing his eyes. Audrey grinned up at Louis, who smiled back, understanding from her expression that they had mastered that step already. ‘Now hold each other close,’ he instructed as Louis pulled Audrey into his arms. ‘Closer, the tango is a dance of passion. It is like making love.’ Audrey blushed and tried to hide her face in Louis’ neck. ‘Don’t be bashful, Señorita, the tango is a sensual dance so release all those inhibitions and follow your heart.’ He pounded his chest again with his fist. Louis chuckled and kissed her temple reassuringly.

  ‘I’m following your heart, Audrey, because it’s ensnared mine,’ he whispered into her ear.

  ‘Then we have no choice but to dance together,’ she replied and began to move to the soul-stirring notes of the violin and accordion.

  At first Audrey was nervous. Each time she felt herself pressed against Louis’ body she giggled and stiffened, aware that they were indeed experiencing a physical intimacy they hadn’t experienced before and they weren’t alone to taste it in private. But once the complicated steps had been repeated over and over and finally mastered she closed her eyes so that all she could feel was Louis and the music and the impassioned notes of her own internal melody.

  For the next hour and a half Louis and Audrey learnt to tango under the guidance of the ebullient Vicente, who with great delight led them through each step with the passive assistance of his sullen wife, Margarita, who never once smiled but danced with the agility of a woman twenty years younger. Promising to return the following week they skipped out of the tavern and into the square where they fell on each other again and danced beneath the moon out of the shadows, eager to put into practice what they had just learned.

  ‘I’m so glad we came.’ Audrey sighed with happiness as they moved in time to the distant music from the tavern.

  ‘I dreamed of bringing you here,’ he replied, resting his cheek against her hair. ‘I knew you’d love it. You see, you’ve left the theatre by the back door and isn’t it fun?’

  ‘I love the sense of freedom. No one knows us here. No one judges us. We’re just two strangers like everyone else, dancing in our own secret world. When I’m close to you like this I feel that nothing else exists but us.’

  ‘You’ve made life beautiful for me, Audrey,’ he said, moved once again by that familiar sense of melancholy. ‘As a child I only felt secure when playing the piano. Without music the world was a grey and frightening place. No one understood me. It was as if I was living in a different dimension to everyone else. I felt like an outcast. So I retreated into my music and gave up trying to relate to my family and their friends. But you, Audrey, you’ve given me the courage to love. You’ve opened my heart and now I’ll never close it, ever. It will always be open and you’ll always be in it. There’s no turning back now. We belong together.’ He pulled away so that he could look down at her earnest face illuminated in the golden glow of the streetlights. Then he traced the line of her jaw with his fingers and kissed her on her lips. Aware that time was running out they clung to each other with the fierceness of two people destined to part for years. But Louis and Audrey were storing up their kisses in order to last only a day, for the following night they would meet again beneath the cherry tree in the orange orchard and they didn’t dare think further ahead than that.

  Audrey crept back up the stairs with a light bounce in her step as she continued to hear the music in her head. She had felt free for the first time in her life and tasted adventure and rebellion in one delicious feast. It was early morning and her clothes smelt of cigarettes, more noticeable now that she was in the clean air of her home. Quietly she opened the door of her bedroom and stepped into safety. To her surprise she found Isla asleep in her bed. She closed the door behind her as softly as she could but Isla slept with one ear alert, waiting for her sister to return even in her dreams. She opened her eyes at once and sat up. ‘Where have you been?’ she hissed in excitement. Then smiled mischievously. ‘Have you been out with Cecil?’

  Chapter 6

  Audrey found it incredibly difficult to lie. She had managed to tell half-truths so far, which didn’t seem so bad and didn’t weigh as heavily on her conscience as full lies, but now, looking into her sister’s inquiring face, she knew she would tell her everything and regret it as she always did. She was unable to stop herself. She was too happy and happiness made her reckless.

  She threw herself onto the bed beside Isla and stretched like a contented cat. ‘I’ve been to Palermo,’ she breathed, delirious with joy. ‘I’m so in love, I feel it’s consuming my entire body like a fire. There’s no putting it out, it just grows and grows. Oh Isla, it really is like they write in novels. It really is wonderful. My heart feels as if it’s going to burst with happiness.’

  Isla’s smile widened. ‘Cecil took you to Palermo?’ she repeated, amazed. ‘I thought Louis was the adventurous one.’ Audrey’s face coloured with shame as she hesitated on the brink of telling her sister the truth. But Isla knew Audrey well enough to sense when things weren’t quite what they seemed. She shook her head and narrowed her green eyes suspiciously. ‘It’s not Cecil, is it?’ she said slowly, studying her sister’s features with the rigour of a doctor. ‘It’s Louis.’ Audrey pulled a thin smile, aware that Isla might be offended that she hadn’t confided in her earlier and nodded her head. ‘Oh, Audrey, I can’t believe it. This puts a whole different colour on things,’ she exclaimed in a loud whisper. ‘Louis all along, eh. Aren’t you a dark horse! You of all people, Audrey. I didn’t think you had it in you.’

  ‘I love him,’ she replied simply, hoping honesty now would make up for lying to her.

  ‘As Aunt Hilda says, what’s love got to do with marriage?’ she replied softly. ‘You know Mummy and Daddy will fry you alive if they ever find out. They’ve got their hearts set on Cecil.’ Her eyes glistened with delight as the full extent of her sister’s rebellion reached her understanding and ignited in her mind all sorts of possibilities.

  ‘I know,’ Audrey replied with a groan. ‘That’s why we’re keeping it secret for the moment, so that they can get to know him and like him. After all, he’s nothing like his reputation suggests. He’s been very wronged by everyone.’

  ‘You know this place, once a reputation is made it’s very hard to unmake it. Mind you, if you get caught he’ll be seen in an even worse light for having led you astray.’ Isla shook her head again. ‘I can’t believe you, Audrey. Without any encouragement from me.’

  ‘Am I wicked?’

  ‘Deliciously so.’ Isla giggled and threaded her fingers through Audrey’s hand that was hot and trembling. ‘I’m so happy you’re happy,’ she added truthfully. ‘You look radiant and to think
I thought it was all thanks to Cecil.’ She suddenly turned serious. ‘But, Audrey, Louis is mad. He’s eccentric and artistic. I know he plays the piano beautifully and I know he draws like Leonardo da Vinci, but he’s got that crazed look in his eyes, terrifying. One minute he’s sad, the next minute he’s happy, you never know what he’s going to do next. Oh Audrey, I hope you know what you’re doing!’

  ‘You don’t know him like I do. He’s gentle and kind, sensitive and generous. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before, I was so worried you might let it slip.’ She fixed her sister with beseeching eyes. ‘You won’t let this slip, will you, Isla? You don’t know how important this is to me.’

  ‘Oh, I do,’ she replied. ‘I do.’

  ‘So you won’t tell?’

  ‘I won’t . . .’ she began, ‘on one condition.’

  Audrey sighed. ‘What might that be?’

  ‘You tell me every detail right from the start and confide in me every step of the way.’

  Audrey smiled and sat up. ‘I’ll tell you everything if it means I can go on seeing Louis in secret,’ she said, climbing off the bed and slipping out of her clothes.

  ‘I’ll cover for you,’ Isla suggested enthusiastically, longing to be included. ‘Oh, what fun we’ll have hatching plans and fooling them all.’ Audrey hung her dress over the back of her chair. ‘You’d better get up early tomorrow and have a bath, you reek of smoke.’

  ‘Do I?’ she pulled a clump of curls in front of her nose and sniffed it.

  ‘Yes, you do,’ said Isla. ‘But I like it. It smells like forbidden fruit. Come on, get into bed and tell me how it all began. Did it start that first night when he came to dinner? Did you know he was The One then? When I engineered that drink with Cecil at the Club you weren’t in love with him at all, were you?’ Isla sighed in amazement. ‘I can’t believe I didn’t notice. Well, I’m not going to be kept in the dark any longer, am I?’ Audrey slipped between the sheets and curled up against her sister.

  ‘I lost my heart to Louis the first moment I saw him smile . . .’ she began, as if she were reading from a romantic novel. Telling Isla was a release. The unburdening of her conscience made her feel less guilty. It also enabled Audrey to relive each moment in vivid detail, setting it into the poetry of words and thereby making it more real. Isla listened to Audrey’s adventures without the slightest twinge of envy. Certainly she would have liked to be taken to dance in Palermo, to sneak across the garden at midnight for secret rendezvous, to lead a clandestine existence which ran parallel to everyone else’s without them having the slightest knowledge of it. But the very idea of love left her squirming with repulsion. Wet kisses, clammy hands, physical intimacy were enough to make her skin crawl with a hundred ants. The fun was in the flirt, the flattery and the flouting of rules. What fascinated her about Audrey’s romance was that it went contrary to everyone’s expectations of her. Audrey was the sensible sister; this sort of behaviour would have hung better on her shoulders. Not one to be overly sensitive Isla was aware of the role reversal and she couldn’t help but worry for Audrey if she got caught.

  ‘What are you going to do?’ she asked after her sister had finished describing the dance in the square in Palermo.

  ‘I don’t know. I’m trying not to think of the future,’ she replied, but the future was all she ever dreamed about. ‘I’m going to spend the rest of my life with Louis, though,’ she said resolutely. ‘Whatever happens.’

  ‘Daddy won’t be too happy to give you away to him. I heard him talking to Mummy in the garden a few days ago, while you and Cecil were playing chess on the terrace. They think Louis is frighteningly unreliable.’

  ‘Just because he’s not like other people,’ she exclaimed in frustration. ‘He hasn’t murdered anyone. Goodness, people here are so narrow-minded and petty.’

  ‘I’m only preparing you, Audrey. They’ll be heartbroken. Mummy adores Cecil.’

  Audrey breathed in deeply as a heaviness sunk upon her shoulders like a pair of invisible hands. ‘Give them time. I don’t care how long it takes. They’ll love Louis like I do in the end,’ she argued.

  ‘I hope so,’ said Isla.

  Both girls closed their eyes, but neither found it easy to sleep. Finally, they both resigned themselves to Fate, relieved to step out of the struggle and leave to destiny what neither could control. Entwined like lovers they slept with their long, corkscrew hair spilling over the pillows like silk. That is how their mother found them in the morning. But because it was Saturday and there was no school she decided to let them both sleep in. As she closed the door softly and walked away she smiled to herself; Audrey and Isla enjoyed a rare bond. As well as sisters they were friends and the thought of them asleep like a pair of puppies delighted her. She made her way down the stairs towards the commotion of her three sons and husband eating breakfast outside on the terrace, under the vines.

  The next couple of months Audrey and Louis were able to see so much more of each other, thanks to the shrewd plans concocted for them by Isla. While Henry and Rose harboured ill-disguised hopes for Audrey and Cecil, interpreting their increasing closeness as a sure indication of their affection, Isla helped plant the notes at the station, accompanied Audrey to the Club and covered for her so that she could be alone with Louis. She rode out with them across the plains and they didn’t ask her to leave because they enjoyed showing off their affection for each other and besides, they owed her so much. Without Isla their liaison would have been limited to the orange orchard. Isla was thrilled by their romantic night-time trips into the city and kept watch from the landing until they had disappeared round the corner into the shadows. Then she slept in Audrey’s bed with half an ear on the door, ready to spring up the minute she returned from Palermo, her eyes sparkling with excitement, the adventures of the dawn spilling out in dreamy words like poetry. Isla loved these moments best of all. She lived the romance through her sister without having to experience the horrors of physical intimacy. They’d lie in the pale morning light, their arms casually draped over each other, and whisper until their throats ached and their eyes stung with tiredness. This was an intimacy Isla treasured. An innocence she clung onto for fear of the adult world. That was one secret she couldn’t reveal to anyone, not even to Audrey. She didn’t want to grow up, ever.

  As the days shortened and winter set in, Cecil gathered his courage to ask Audrey out to dinner. The more he rehearsed how he was going to do it, the more nervous he became, until his confidence seemed to retreat with the autumn. He felt like a clumsy giant: his hands were too big for his body, his tongue too large for his mouth, his nose too hefty for his face. He had never felt inadequate before but Audrey undermined his self-assurance. There was something about her; a faraway look in her eyes, an ethereal quality about the way she floated when she walked. If he didn’t know better he would have said that she was simply going through the motions out of politeness, but then he considered her nature; less passionate and impulsive than her sister’s. So he consoled himself that she was probably as nervous as he was.

  It wasn’t until the end of June, when winter had robbed the bird tree of its leaves and its song, that Cecil finally asked Audrey out.

  ‘Isn’t it bare this time of the year?’ he said as they strolled through the sleeping orange orchard. Audrey felt a wistfulness wash over her as she walked past the naked cherry tree that had hidden her and her lover on so many sultry summer nights, a silent witness to their illicit love. In spite of its nakedness it still held tender memories within its frozen branches.

  ‘Yes, isn’t it,’ she replied. ‘But I like the change of seasons. The summer was so hot and humid, it’s a relief to feel the chill of winter and snuggle up in front of the fire.’

  ‘It is indeed,’ he agreed, rubbing his hands together nervously. ‘It’s not as cold as England though.’

  ‘Or as wet.’

  ‘That too,’ he chuckled. Audrey noticed his unease and the strangled tone of voice and wondered what had come ove
r him.

  There was an awkward pause as they walked through the gate at the end of the orchard and back into the main garden. The flowerbeds lay dormant under rotting foliage, like a botanical graveyard, thought Audrey, beneath which the spirits of the plants still lived and waited for their springtime reincarnation. Cecil coughed. He saw the house loom up at the end of the lawn and knew he had better get on with his task.

  ‘Audrey,’ he began. She looked at him and smiled. A smile of encouragement, he thought and bravely plunged in. ‘I would like to ask you out for dinner.’ Her eyes flickered with surprise and her cheeks reddened to the colour of membrillo.

  ‘Oh,’ she said.

  ‘I haven’t asked your parents’ permission, I wanted to ask you first,’ he explained. She looked down at her shoes and laughed lightly. How formal and serious he was all of a sudden.

  ‘That would be very nice, Cecil,’ she replied. ‘How sweet of you to ask.’ He didn’t know whether she understood the gravity of his request, that he was asking her permission to court her.

  ‘I’ve grown tremendously fond of you over the last few months,’ he persevered, hoping to leave her in no doubt about his intentions. This time a tighter laugh escaped her throat.

  ‘Well, you and Louis have become part of the family,’ she said, deliberately misunderstanding him. ‘Mummy and Daddy treat you both like sons, almost.’

  ‘They’re very kind,’ he agreed, watching her fold her arms in front of her chest. He found her bashfulness endearing and felt more confident as a result.