The Forget-Me-Not Sonata

by Santa Montefiore

  ‘Yes, they are,’ she replied, knowing how happy they’d be that he had started to court her formally. She felt out of her depth and walked faster in order to cut the conversation short. She needed to consult Louis and Isla. They’d know what to do.

  When they entered the house, Louis noticed the strained expression on Audrey’s face and the proud smile that played about the corners of his brother’s mouth and sensed that something monumental had taken place while he had been sketching Isla. Hastily he indicated with his eyes that she go and talk to her sister somewhere private. Audrey blinked at him with gratitude and left the room in a flurry, leaving Louis shuffling anxiously in his chair, wondering what was afoot.

  Finding Henry alone in his study writing letters, Cecil asked, with his usual politeness, whether he might interrupt him for a few minutes. ‘Please,’ Henry replied, gesturing for Cecil to take a seat by the fire. ‘Dismal day, awfully cold,’ said Henry, putting his pen down and turning to give Cecil his full attention.

  ‘I’d like to ask your permission to court Audrey,’ he said.

  Henry chuckled good-naturedly. ‘You don’t need my permission, Cecil. Audrey’s got a mind of her own, it’s her you should be asking.’

  ‘Oh, I already have, and she has agreed to allow me to invite her out for dinner.’

  ‘I’m delighted,’ Henry exclaimed. ‘She’s not a child any more but she is inexperienced. I’m glad she’s fallen into your capable hands.’

  Cecil was flattered. ‘I’ve spent months deliberating on this, Henry. As I work for you, I was worried it was inappropriate.’

  ‘What nonsense, my dear Cecil. Rose and I have been watching your friendship blossom for a while. You have our blessing and if you have Audrey’s then you have nothing to be anxious about.’

  ‘Well, I’ll go and beat my brother at chess now,’ he said cheerfully, getting up from the armchair, his heart as weightless as a cloud. Henry watched him close the door softly behind him and thought how very different he was from Louis. ‘Chalk and cheese,’ he said to himself, shaking his head. For a horrible moment he thought of Isla and Louis as a couple and shivered. It would be typical of his wilful daughter to fall for a man like Louis. Not that there was anything overtly wrong with the boy, just that he’d make a most unsuitable husband. ‘Now, he’s irresponsible, that one,’ he said, picking up his pen and dispelling the thought. Henry never worried about things until they happened, that was his gift. But Rose did and she had noticed Isla’s growing closeness to Louis with dread. She had voiced her fears to Aunt Edna, but there was only one person who could possibly have any influence over the girl, and that was Audrey.

  ‘Oh, Isla, I don’t know what to do,’ Audrey wailed, falling onto her bed. ‘Cecil’s asked me out for dinner.’

  ‘Oh God!’ Isla exclaimed. ‘That’s not good.’ She shook her curls until they bounced about her face like springs.

  ‘He’s so formal. Straight out of a Jane Austen novel. You have to laugh. He’s gone to ask Daddy’s permission.’

  ‘Oh God! Sounds like he wants to marry you.’

  ‘Don’t joke.’

  ‘I’m not.’

  ‘Well, that will never happen.’

  ‘Of course not. You don’t have to marry anyone you don’t want to,’ Isla reassured her. ‘Did you agree to go?’

  ‘I had to,’ she explained, sitting up. ‘I couldn’t say no, not after I’d led him a merry dance for all these weeks.’

  ‘Your acting must be better than we thought,’ said Isla with a smirk.

  ‘Thank you.’

  ‘You have to tell Louis,’ Isla instructed, opening a drawer and pulling out a pad of paper and a pen. ‘Write him a letter now and I’ll slip it to him as he leaves.’

  ‘Oh dear, I feel so helpless.’

  ‘You’ll have to go, of course,’ said Isla, sitting in front of Audrey’s dressing table and picking up her hairbrush. ‘Anyway, it’s the perfect cover. As long as Cecil courts you no one will suspect the truth. It’s all part of the game, Audrey.’

  ‘What if it goes too far?’ Audrey asked anxiously.

  ‘That depends on you,’ Isla replied, watching her sister’s reflection. ‘You mustn’t let him get too close.’

  ‘I feel so mean, Isla. He’s so sweet and kind. I’m very fond of him. I really am. I just don’t want to marry him.’

  ‘It’s a dangerous game, Audrey,’ said Isla, who felt like a spy in the war. ‘But, you have no choice. If you turn him down now you’ll be in danger of exposing your feelings for Louis. After all, just look at yourself. You look like love personified. No one’s in any doubt that you’re infatuated, they’ve just got the wrong man. Imagine looking like that with no one to cover for you. They’d all start speculating and then they’d surely guess, just like I did.’

  ‘Oh, Isla, you make it sound so scary,’ she moaned.

  ‘It is scary. This is real life, Audrey, not one of your novels and the stakes are high. Now hurry up and write that note. I think you’d better meet him tonight in the orchard. I’ll cover for you.’

  Audrey finished the note, composed herself and returned to the sitting room with her sister. Isla was puffed up with self-importance and strode purposefully across the floor. Rose watched them enter, but her focus was on her younger daughter who immediately took the seat next to Louis to watch the game of chess he was playing with Cecil.

  Albert lay on the floor in front of the fire, building houses out of cards with his two younger brothers. Audrey didn’t dare sit near Louis, she was too agitated and feared she might give it all away so she joined her brothers and tried to distract herself with card houses. It wasn’t until Cecil and Louis got up to leave that Rose’s anxieties were confirmed. She saw Isla pass Louis a note. It was a subtle gesture, done with the utmost secrecy and swiftness. Rose wouldn’t have noticed had she not already suspected something to be going on between them. Once they had left she summoned Audrey to her room under the pretence of wanting her advice on an outfit for Aunt Hilda’s cocktail party.

  Audrey followed her mother into her bedroom then closed the door behind her as instructed. Rose leant against the windowsill. She was suddenly pale and her lips twitched with worry. ‘I need to ask you something, Audrey,’ she began in a grave tone. Audrey felt sweat tickle the skin under her arms and her knees grew faint with anticipation. She sat down on the bed and played with her nails.

  ‘What is it, Mummy?’ she asked, trying her best to act normally. Rose was too busy fretting to notice Audrey’s unease.

  ‘I’m afraid that Isla and Louis are . . .’ she hesitated, searching for the words. ‘Affair’ was too sophisticated, ‘romance’ too playful. ‘I think they’re in love,’ she said finally. Audrey could have cried with relief.

  ‘What makes you think that, Mummy? It’s absurd,’ she exclaimed.

  ‘I could have sworn I saw Isla pass Louis a note this evening.’

  ‘I don’t think so,’ she reassured her. ‘It certainly wouldn’t be of the romantic kind, Isla’s not interested. She tells me everything and I would know if she was.’

  ‘You really think so?’ Rose asked, stepping away from the window and sitting next to Audrey on the bed. ‘You really think so?’

  ‘I know so,’ she added with emphasis.

  Rose wiped her eyes. ‘You’ve lifted a great weight off my shoulders, Audrey.’ She sighed. ‘You really have.’

  ‘But, Mummy, what’s so wrong with Louis?’ She ventured bravely.

  Rose shook her head. ‘There’s nothing wrong with him, dear,’ she explained lightly, happy to be generous now there was no danger of him courting her daughter. ‘He’s just rather irresponsible. You know, Henry’s heard all sorts of things about him from friends in London. He’s a loose cannon. He’s unreliable and he’s got a reputation as long as a ball of wool. He’s a charming young man, and handsome too, there’s no doubt about that, I just wouldn’t want him courting a daughter of mine. I simply wouldn’t tolerate it. He isn’t
a man of honour, my darling. Imagine not fighting for your country. It’s a disgrace.’

  Audrey felt tears sting the back of her eyes and swallowed hard. ‘I don’t think he’s anything like as bad as you all say,’ she protested angrily. ‘I think you’re all being unnecessarily cruel.’

  Rose believed Audrey was defending Louis because he was the brother of the man she loved. She patted her daughter’s hand and smiled indulgently. ‘My dear girl, no one has the slightest doubt about Cecil’s integrity and good character.’

  ‘But Louis is a good person too. He’s spontaneous and impulsive, outspoken and unconventional but that doesn’t make him a bad person.’

  ‘Of course it doesn’t,’ she agreed. ‘He’s a pleasure to have in the house.’

  ‘Just as long as he doesn’t get romantically involved with one of your daughters.’

  ‘Well that doesn’t seem likely, does it?’ she replied, her cheeks now glowing with relief. ‘Tell me, what did Cecil talk about on your walk? He looked very happy when he came in.’

  Audrey sighed heavily, aware that she had to play the game. ‘He’s asked me out for dinner,’ she replied in a small voice.

  ‘Oh, how kind of him,’ Rose responded, trying not to look too hopeful. ‘Will you go?’

  ‘He said he had to ask your permission first.’

  ‘Really, how very correct,’ Rose exclaimed with admiration. She stood up and began to arrange the small Victorian boxes on her dressing table in order to calm her hopping nerves. ‘He has our permission. I can speak for Henry,’ she said calmly. ‘It’s what you want, my dear, that’s important.’

  ‘Oh, I’m happy to go,’ she said, trying to inject some enthusiasm into her voice. ‘It’s only dinner.’

  ‘Of course,’ said her mother. She must be afraid, she thought, after all it’s her first dinner alone with a young man. Then she said out loud, ‘I’m sure he’ll take you somewhere nice, he has very good taste. Ah, what to wear? I think we need to go into town, don’t you?’

  That night, behind the cold wall of the orange orchard, Audrey pressed her body against Louis’ in a bid to stay warm. He had spent the entire evening bashing out his fury on the piano until Diana Lewis had asked him to either play something harmonious or not play at all. ‘I don’t want you to go, my darling, but if it means we can still go on seeing each other, it’s worth it. Please tell me your parents are coming around to me.’

  ‘They are slowly, give them time,’ she replied, not wishing to hurt him by recounting her conversation with her mother.

  ‘Time is what we don’t have,’ he moaned.

  ‘What do you mean?’ she asked.

  ‘Well, Cecil’s very serious about you and you’re leading him on,’ he explained, biting into the name of his brother with venom. ‘You can’t play games with him forever. You can’t deny me forever either.’

  ‘I’m not denying you, Louis,’ she gasped, hurt by his accusation.

  ‘Then let’s just run off together.’

  ‘You know I can’t do that.’

  ‘What other choice is there?’

  ‘Damn my parents!’ she hissed angrily, pulling away and looking up into his eyes. ‘Why do I care so much about what they think?’

  ‘Because, my lovely Audrey, you’ve grown up with their love,’ he said, running a warm hand down her face with tenderness. He kissed her forehead. ‘It’s natural that you don’t want to hurt them. You need them too. Oh Audrey, you’re not the sort to elope, are you?’

  ‘Are you?’

  ‘Of course. I’d run off with you at the drop of a hat. But then, I’m irresponsible.’ He chuckled sadly.

  ‘Oh, Louis. You’re perfect. To me you’re perfect.’

  ‘I love you, Audrey,’ he said softly, pulling her to him again and brushing his lips across her temple. ‘I really do love you.’

  ‘And I love you, Louis,’ she replied. ‘Nothing else matters really. We’ll always be together.’

  ‘Of course we will. I’m not foolish enough to let you go. Besides, we’ve got a lifetime of adventures ahead of us. What about all those dreams of yours? Someone’s got to make them come true.’

  ‘We’ve already danced in Palermo,’ she laughed.

  ‘So we’ll dance on the top of Machu Picchu and over the Atacama desert when it’s in flower. We’ll dance across the Atlantic to Paris and Rome and Vienna. We’ll dance all the way around the world and I’ll never let the music stop. I promise you that, my darling, Audrey. The music will never stop.’

  She nestled her face into his neck, sure that he was right.

  Chapter 7

  Audrey dreaded her evening with Cecil, not because she disliked his company, but because she was aware of Cecil’s affection for her and knew that what she was doing was wrong and hurtful. She worried constantly about the tangle of intrigue that was slowly winding its way around her and pulling her under. It was against her nature to wound. But Isla convinced her that it was a necessary means to an end. ‘Don’t be fooled, Audrey, Cecil’s too cold to have a warm heart. After all, how much does a fish feel?’

  Cecil was unable to focus on his work, his play or on anything else that would have diverted his attention from his impending evening with Audrey Garnet. He had taken great trouble to arrange the evening because he wanted so much to impress her. He had organized to borrow Henry’s Ford T to drive them into the city where they would watch the ballet from a gilded box in the Teatro Colón. He imagined them exchanging tender glances through the darkness; perhaps she would allow him to take her hand in his. That wish hung suspended in his thoughts until the telephone rang, shattering his dream and thrusting his attention back to the present moment. But after he had replaced the receiver his concentration wavered once again until Audrey’s long, sensitive face surfaced to steady it.

  Cecil had never discussed his feelings for Audrey with his brother, but overcome with optimism and the need to share his joy he opened his heart to Louis on the train home after work. As Cecil’s face glowed with optimism and pride Louis felt his stomach twist with jealousy. He tried to dodge the subject but Cecil was determined and spoke over him until Louis had no choice but to listen. ‘I didn’t dare hope that she’d accept my invitation. She’s unfathomable. But when she said yes it was as if the drawbridge was finally being lowered for me to step inside.’ He sighed, certain that the battle for Audrey’s heart was over and that he had won. Louis noticed the self-satisfied smile and was irritated. Cecil’s face flushed crimson as if he were ashamed of his own smugness.

  ‘So where are you going to take her?’ Louis asked in a strangled voice, drawing his ankle onto his knee in a gesture of defence.

  ‘Audrey’s a cultivated young woman who loves music and dancing,’ Cecil began in a tone that suggested he knew more about her than his brother. Louis looked out of the window, but it was dark and all he saw was his own grey face staring back at him. ‘I’m taking her to the Colón to see Giselle,’ he replied. ‘She loves the ballet, you see, but rarely gets to go.’ Then he added with an uncharacteristic twinkle in his eyes, ‘It’s a surprise.’

  Louis repressed a groan and coughed into his hand. ‘You’ve thought of everything,’ he said grimly.

  ‘I hope so.’

  ‘But you don’t even like ballet.’

  ‘It doesn’t matter. She does. It will give me pleasure to see her enjoying it.’

  ‘Don’t push her,’ Louis added, unable to stop himself.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘She’s very young. If you jump in there too fast you’ll scare her away. Take your time.’

  But Cecil was so certain of himself that he simply smiled knowingly and replied, ‘This isn’t a game, Louis. She may be young but she’s got the mind of a much older woman. My plans for Audrey are long term and I believe she knows it.’

  Louis shuddered. His brother was unwavering in his belief that Audrey reciprocated his feelings. He was suddenly debilitated by conflicting emotions. On one hand he fe
lt guilty – Cecil’s heart was being deliberately set up to be broken as if he were taking part in a monstrous pantomime. He thought of Shakespeare’s poor Malvolio and regretted their wicked game. But on the other hand his guilt was tempered by his jealousy that, in a perverse way, enjoyed the certain knowledge that his brother would be crushed when Audrey finally revealed the truth. He willed himself to be patient. Time would untangle this knot.

  When they arrived at Hurlingham station Louis surreptitiously retrieved the small scroll that Audrey had slipped in between the bricks and regained his good humour. Audrey loved him and no amount of courting and wooing would inspire her to change her mind and love Cecil. As they strode back up the bleak winter streets to the Club, Louis’ fingers played with Audrey’s note. It gave him a warm sense of reassurance. But their secret was beginning to grate on his conscience and his pride. He longed to tell everyone that she was his. He was impatient to show her off. He didn’t know how much longer he could dance in the shadows.

  Rose was so excited about her elder daughter’s flowering romance that she made the grave error of mentioning their forthcoming evening out to Diana Lewis in the bakery. Diana wasted no time in telephoning Charlo Osborne who passed it on to Colonel Blythe over tea at the Club. The Colonel twisted the ends of his white moustache and huffed thoughtfully. ‘I don’t know a finer fellow than Cecil Forrester,’ he said, puffing on his Turkish cigarette. ‘And young Audrey is a treasure, always has been.’

  ‘Beautiful girl. Beautiful,’ Charlo stated. There was little she admired more in a woman than beauty and nothing she regretted more than the relinquishing of it. ‘A girl has to use her looks while she’s young because they don’t last. Look at me. I was quite lovely as a young woman. Lovely. But now . . .’ She sighed, knowing her comments would ignite the right reaction in the old Colonel. He patted her hand with his rough, calloused fingers and blinked at her with undisguised devotion through the thick glass of his monocle. Charlo was aware that since the summer the old Colonel had changed. She didn’t know why but it was as if his internal baton had snapped, leaving him infinitely more human and, dare she hope, romantic.