Know Me, Keep Me

by Barbara Gee

He raised his brows. “Like, we hang out in bed? I’m down with that.”

  “Actually, yes. That’s exactly what I was thinking,” she said, grinning when his jaw dropped in surprise. “You go get ready for bed, and I’ll meet you there in a bit. With a deck of cards.”

  His expression went from interest to dismay. “No way. I’m not playing War with you again. Or Go Fish, either.”

  She laughed. “Do you have a better suggestion for putting you to sleep?”

  His eyes dropped to her mouth. “I can think of a lot of better suggestions, but most of them aren’t allowed. So how about we just talk.”

  Jolene smiled up at him. “We can do that. Turns out I kinda like talking to you.”

  They went upstairs together. Jolene went to her room and automatically put on the shorts and tank she normally slept in. On second thought, she added a baggy long sleeved tee on top. She hoped Boone covered up a little bit as well, or she’d have a hard time carrying on a conversation.

  She crossed the hall and tapped on his door, which was open a few inches.

  “Come in,” he said.

  He was standing in front of the window, wearing athletic shorts and pulling a white tee shirt over his head. She was just in time to catch a glimpse of smooth golden skin before it was covered. She’d seen him shirtless many times, of course, had had her hands on him many times, but it was much different being in his bedroom as opposed to the gym. In the gym, she was a physical therapist. In his bedroom, she was his girlfriend, and it made all the difference.

  Feeling a little disconcerted, she gestured toward the TV. “Think we can find the game highlights somewhere? I’d like to hear what the St. Paul sportscasters are saying about the Wild captain’s comeback.”

  He took the remote from the top of the TV and turned it on, scanning through the channels. “This show will get around to it eventually,” he said. He looked at her and held out a hand. “Come here, Jo.”

  She hesitated for a second, then slowly walked over to him.

  “I don’t know if this is such a good idea,” she said softly, taking his hand in both of hers.

  He raised his brows, his eyes twinkling. “Because you want me so much?” he teased, making her laugh self-consciously.

  “Yeah, actually, that’s exactly the reason,” she admitted.

  “I want you, too, babe. But what we have is too important to ruin with a night we would both regret. Not that it wouldn’t be incredible, because I have no doubt it would be. But it would also taint what we have, and no matter how much I want you, it’s not worth that.”

  She stepped closer, her dark eyes liquid in the dim light. “You say the nicest things, Boone.”

  He smiled. “I’m not saying I’m gonna stay away from you. I’m just saying that unless my ring is on your finger, I’m not gonna make love to you.” His smile widened. “No matter how much you beg and plead.”

  “Oh my word, Boone,” she said, shaking her head at his teasing. “You’re a mess.” She turned from him and crawled onto his bed, making herself comfortable in the center of the Wild logo on the spread. She grabbed some pillows and propped her head up against the headboard.

  He lowered his long body beside her, stuffing pillows behind his head as she had. “So how did Virgil and Kay react to the game? Did they get into it?”

  Jolene rolled to face him, smiling fondly. “Kay cried through a lot of it, and that made me cry some, too. Actually, it all started when we saw the note you put with the jerseys. That was so thoughtful, Boone.”

  He shrugged. “I want them to know I’m not going to shy away from acknowledging them as my parents. I know we barely know each other, but that’ll change. I want it to change.”

  “I think it was exactly what they needed to hear from you.”

  “But she cried during the game?” Boone asked, frowning.

  “Yeah, but not in a bad way. Trust me, she loved every minute. It was just such an emotional thing for her to see you out there, to hear the crowd cheering their hearts out for the son she thought had died twenty-nine years ago. I mean, I can’t even imagine all the things she was feeling. But she did love it. She told me a dozen times she was so glad they came.”

  “And Virgil?”

  “He’s stoic, you know? He doesn’t show a lot of emotion, not like Kay. But Boone, he had your note in his hand the whole game. Right up to the end, when he put it in his pocket. It made me tear up every time I looked at him.”

  Boone leaned his head back on a pillow and closed his eyes, a muscle jumping in his jaw. Jolene took his hand and he held onto hers tightly.

  “I hate it for them. I hate what my dad stole from them. Yet I can’t begin to comprehend how different my life would be if I’d grown up at the ranch. I know I wouldn’t be playing hockey, so what would I be doing? Would life be better, or worse? Should I feel guilty for enjoying the life I have, because it’s not the one that was meant to be?”

  Jolene propped her head on her hand. “You were the innocent one, remember? No regrets. You should enjoy the heck out of your life. You’ve worked so hard, and I know Kay and Virgil well enough to know your happiness is more important to them than anything else. That and your faith, and your huge heart. They’re so proud.”

  He opened his eyes and looked at her. “And now I have to go destroy Aaron and Carla’s lives.”

  “Boone,” she said warningly.

  “I know, I know. It’s not my fault.”

  “Why can’t you believe that?”

  “I do.” He laid his forearm over his eyes. “I know that logically none of it’s my fault. I wasn’t even born when the plan was hatched. But I could have let it go. I could have just let everyone get away with it.”

  Jolene put a hand on his chest, rubbing in slow, soothing circles. “When you first found out, when your dad told you about being blackmailed, what was the first thing you did?”

  “I told him to leave. I couldn’t stand to look at him right then.”

  “After that,” she prompted.

  “I went to the bathroom and threw up.”

  “And then?”

  “I sat on the floor by the toilet and prayed. I didn’t know what else to do.”

  “That’s what I thought. I know you didn’t hear a voice from the clouds, and there were no magic words written on the wall, but your prayer was sincere, Boone. You begged God for wisdom that night, right?”

  He sighed. “That night and every day since.”

  “So you need to trust His leading. Trust that he set you on the path you’ve taken. And trust that He’ll see you through, along with and Aaron and Carla and all the others affected. It’s truly not your responsibility.”

  * * *

  It was a while before Boone could speak. Jolene had said all along he shouldn’t feel responsible, but for some reason, tonight he was able to let her words sink in, to wend their way into his weary mind and bear fruit. He believed his God was all powerful. Would it be reaching too far to believe that God could indeed bring Carla through this? He knew his mom, he knew how she would react at first. But in time, would she find at least a little bit of joy in life again? Maybe even be open to learning about Christ?

  He lifted his arm and turned his head to look at Jolene, her beautiful face so close to his, her dark eyes full of concern. Had anyone ever looked at him like that, other than his parents? Had anyone cared about him that much? He’d gotten so used to being a means to an end for people that he’d almost forgotten what it felt like to be genuinely cared for.

  As he watched, her sweet lips curved into a smile. “Let God take the burden, Boone. You’re just His vessel. All you have to do is be true to His leading as best you can.”

  He smoothed a lock of hair behind her ear. “I’ve given that exact same advice to others,” he said softly. “Why is it so hard to heed it myself?”

  “’Cause you’re used to bearing burdens, not giving them up. You’re the epitome of a good captain. You do whatever you can to make the burdens o
f your teammates lighter. It goes against your grain to need help with your own stuff.”

  “Maybe. I’m gonna try though. I’m going to trust that Mom will pull through this. I don’t know how, because I know her so well, but I want to have faith that it’ll happen.”

  “Me too.” Jolene put her arm across his chest and rested her head on his shoulder. He put his arm around her and drew her in closer.

  “Thanks for being here.”

  “It’s where I want to be,” she murmured.

  He held her, and they didn’t need to talk any more. It was enough just to be close. He listened to her soft breathing, felt her gradually relax as sleep snuck up on her. After a while she yawned and sat up.

  “I need to get to my own bed. Good night, Boone.”

  “Night, babe. Hope you sleep well.”

  She leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to his mouth, then pushed off the bed. “I will. See you in the morning.”

  Boone watched her go, wishing she didn’t have to. One of these days, when the time was right, he was going to tell her how he felt. If she felt the same, they needed to make some plans.

  He turned up the volume on the TV, watching as the highlights of the game finally began playing. It was nice to see how well they’d played. They had a good team—a play-off team. He wanted to get there, badly. But he had to get through tomorrow first.

  He clicked off the TV, letting the darkness settle in. And because Jolene Tolley was right across the hall, he went to sleep with a smile on his lips.

  CHAPTER 37

  Kay and Virgil were waiting at the restaurant across from their hotel when Boone and Jolene got there the next morning for breakfast.

  “It’s so sweet of you to take the time for this,” Kay said, hugging them both.

  “Glad to do it,” Boone said. “I hope you slept well after your busy day yesterday.”

  “It took us a while to get calmed down after all the excitement of the game,” Kay admitted, “but once I got to sleep, I slept like a log.”

  “Lots of coverage of the game on the news this morning,” Virgil said as they settled around a table and were assured by the hostess that their server would be with them shortly.

  Kay laughed. “Virg was clicking through all the channels as soon as he got up, trying to catch all the stories.”

  “I’m glad you got to see a win,” Boone said. “Those news stories aren’t near as much fun to watch when we take a beating.”

  “They were certainly singing your praises,” Virgil said, his voice quietly proud. “I don’t know much about the game yet, but it appears you did everything right last night.”

  Their server approached, a perky young redhead. She greeted them cheerfully, told them her name was Alyssa, then did a double-take when she recognized Boone. Color flooded her fair skin and she almost dropped her order pad. She stuttered out the specials, trying to play it cool, but she could scarcely take her eyes off him.

  Boone took it in stride, acting as if he didn’t notice the girl’s reaction. Jolene realized he dealt with this all the time. All the time.

  They all ordered coffee to start with, and the girl hurried to get the pot.

  “We’d better watch out,” Kay said, her eyes twinkling. “Poor girl’s likely to spill every drop since she can’t stop gawking at Boone long enough to see where she’s pouring.”

  Virgil chuckled. “She’d be better off to go ahead and ask for your autograph now. Get it over with so she can get down to business with the food.”

  “Some do that. Others wait until I’m ready to leave, and others never admit to recognizing me. And of course, the majority really do have no idea who I am.”

  Jolene appreciated his humble remark, but she wasn’t buying it. She took a look around the room. It wasn’t busy this early in the morning, but there were at least a dozen people at the surrounding tables, and all but two of them were stealing furtive glances at Boone and whispering to their companions.

  Alyssa returned, accompanied by a second, equally wide-eyed server, each of them holding a pot of coffee.

  “I forgot to ask if you wanted regular or decaf,” Alyssa said. “So we brought both.”

  Coffee poured, most of it actually ending up in the cups, Alyssa moved on to taking their orders. When the girls hurried off again, Kay leaned forward and put her hand on Boone’s arm.

  “I know our time is limited, Boone. There’s something I want to say while I have the chance, and I’m just going to come right out with it. If I’m overstepping I’m as sorry as I can be, but I feel compelled to say it anyway.”

  Boone tilted his head slightly, waiting. Virgil grinned and nudged Kay’s shoulder.

  “See that? That’s what I was telling you about. You do that, too. Cock your head like that when you’re listening to someone.”

  “If you say so,” Kay said a little self-consciously.

  “I didn’t know I did it, either, until Jolene pointed it out,” Boone said, exchanging a smile with her. “What did you want to tell me?”

  She shifted in her seat. “I spent a good deal of time in prayer for you this morning. I know you’ve been dreading this day, and I just can’t get Carla, your, um, mother, off my mind.”

  Jolene knew what it had cost Kay to refer to Carla as Boone’s mother, and she had never been prouder of her friend. The woman was completely selfless.

  “I appreciate that,” Boone said. “It’s going to be a tough time for her.”

  Kay nodded. “It’s tragic. She’s going to feel betrayed by her husband, and I’m afraid no matter how much you try to reassure her, she’s going to fear losing you, too.”

  “She won’t lose me,” Boone said. He looked down for a moment, then back at Kay, his gaze intense. “I know this is awkward, but I want to be up front about it. I know Carla didn’t give birth to me, but she raised me believing I was her son. Her blood. She’s been my mom for almost thirty years and I’ll never see her as anything else. There’s plenty of room for you guys, too. I can already feel the bond, and I want a relationship with you both, I really do. But I won’t leave her out. I don’t ever want her to feel less than what she is.”

  “Of course you don’t,” Virgil said. “We wouldn’t expect you to do any different.”

  “That’s what I’m getting at.” Kay looked at Virgil, then back at Boone. “We don’t have any ill feelings towards Carla. Lord knows I’ve tried putting myself in her shoes and it just makes me want to shrivel up with the pain. I’ve cried as many tears for her as for myself the last few days, knowing what she’s going to face.”

  Boone put his hand on top of hers and squeezed. “That means a lot.”

  Virgil cleared his throat. “What Kay wants to tell you is if you think it’ll make any difference, we’d like to have Carla visit the ranch any time she might see fit. You know, if she needs to get away from Chicago to process everything.”

  “We want to meet her,” Kay said. “We want to thank her for raising such a fine man, and assure her we have no intention of trying to alienate you from her.” She swallowed, trying to gauge Boone’s reaction. “But only if you think it would help,” she added uneasily. “If you don’t, just forget we said anything.”

  His answer was interrupted by the arrival of their food. They waited until Alyssa had distributed all the plates, taken one last longing look at Boone, and left.

  “I appreciate the invitation,” Boone said, ignoring the platter of French toast in front of him. “I’d actually love to see her take you up on it. But I’ll just have to play it by ear, you know? She might not be ready for it right away, but hopefully in time we can make it happen.”

  “Just know the offer is there,” Virgil said, sprinkling salt and pepper on his eggs.

  “It’s very generous, and I know only too well that few people in your shoes would make it. Thank you both. It means a lot.”

  “We just want to help. We don’t want you, or Carla, to suffer.” Kay gestured to his plate. “Now eat up, Boone. You n
eed to replenish yourself after that game.”

  Jolene picked up her own fork and took a bite of her omelet. “Virgil, when you were watching the news today, you didn’t hear anything about Ethan Golding being arrested, did you? Or about the shooting at the arena?”

  “No. Is that going to hit today?”

  “Most likely.”

  Boone nodded. “By the time we get back in town tonight, I expect there will be a lot of vulture photographers waiting outside my house.” He looked at Jolene apologetically. “You sure you don’t want to fly back to the ranch with Virgil and Kay?”

  She nodded, although she was dreading that first encounter with the media more than she wanted to admit. “I’m sure. You don’t happen to have a secret approach tunnel under your house, do you?”

  He chuckled. “Afraid not. But I will say, they know better than to stand in front of the garage when the door goes up, because I don’t stop. And once we’re inside, they’ll soon give up and leave for the night.”

  Jolene gave him a worried look. “Have you ever hit one?”

  “Nah, they’re pretty good at diving. It’s a hazard of their job. But I’ve run over a few cameras that they dropped.”

  “Does that get you in trouble?” Kay wondered.

  “Not with the kind of paparazzi that hang around my private residence. They’re a different breed. All they want is a chance at a photo they can sell, the more compromising the better. I don’t give them that chance, and I don’t feel bad about it because they’re at my house—the one place where I should be able to have some privacy. Now when it comes to legitimate reporters, I make it a point to grant a lot of interviews. I know I have an obligation to be accessible to a certain extent, and I go out of my way to make it happen. I just want to be able to choose who I talk to and who gets official photos.”

  “Doesn’t seem too much to ask,” Virgil said, nodding his approval.

  “Do they come to your house often?” Jolene asked.

  “Only if there’s something interesting and out of the ordinary going on.”

  “Like the story that’s about to break,” she said apprehensively.