Noah

by Justine Elvira

  Noah is going to be so mad when he finds out Kendall's not up there. I might as well rip the bandage off and tell him now before he wastes a trip.

  "Umm, Noah." I put my head down and look at my feet as I slightly pout my lower lip, hoping it does the trick.

  He steps in front of me, his black Chucks entering my line of vision. He's in jeans and one of the shirts his bartenders usually wear. His palm meets my shoulder and he squeezes gently. "What's the matter, shorty?"

  "Kendall's not in the office."

  "What do you mean? Of course she is. She closed for me tonight."

  "No, no she's not." I pause to swallow and take a deep breath. Shit's about to get real. Here it goes. "I closed down the office tonight."

  The soft, tender expression on his face as he comforted me just moments ago is gone. In its place is a very pissed off Noah.

  "You what!" he yells as he drags a hand through his brown hair. Scowling, he begins to pace the ground in front of me. When he turns right he stares down at the man on the floor like he wants to kill him, and when he turns left he's looking straight at me as if he's never met me before. He goes back and forth, and back and forth, and the silence in the small area behind the stairwell is starting to feel suffocating. I need to get out of here. I need some fresh air.

  When Noah's back is to me and he's walking in the direction of my assailant, I walk out from behind the stairwell and onto the sidewalk. Something about the early hours in the city is both comforting and terrifying. It's quieter, filled only with the sounds of passing vehicles, but in the shadows you know bad things can happen.

  Things like what just happened to me tonight.

  My chest expands as I take in a deep breath, inhaling the cold night air, and when I exhale that first breath I immediately feel better. I continue to suck in as much fresh oxygen as possible before I'm forced to go back under that stairwell and talk to Noah.

  I hear his voice from behind me and it's calm, nothing like how he sounded a few moments ago. "You can't just walk away from me, Skye. This is serious."

  "I know, Noah, and we'll talk about it, but right now I just want to go home. Can I go home?"

  "We can't yet."

  He pulls out his phone and dials 911. We wait for the police in silence and when two squad cars and an ambulance arrive, Noah takes them back to the stairwell where my attacker is still knocked unconscious. He must have hit him pretty hard.

  I give my statement to the police and thankfully, it wasn’t as bad reliving what happened as I thought it would be. They let me give my statement right there on the street. I'm not forced to go down to the station and I have a feeling Noah has something to do with that. He'd been talking to the cops about how I was still shaken up and wanted to go home.

  They end up taking my attacker to the hospital with a police escort to make sure he's okay before bringing him in. Noah hails a cab for us to take home to the apartment. We ride all the way to our apartment complex in silence. There really isn’t much to be said about the attack tonight that hasn't already been said, and there is no way I want to discuss why I was working in Forbidden Desires' office tonight. If he's this mad about a few hours in an office, he'll have a shit fit when I tell him I've actually been working for him for months.

  Noah tips the driver and once we're at my front door I remember Caleb's not home and I'll be entering an empty apartment. Just the thought of having to spend the night alone has me shaking and trembling in fear.

  Noah hasn't touched me since the cops arrived at the scene, but when I feel his arms wrap around me in a hug I sink into his body, finding the comfort that I long for in his warm embrace. "Hey, what's wrong?"

  Instead of answering I begin to sob and he tightens his hold around me as I cry into his t-shirt. Mixed with his regular smell is the scent of smoke and alcohol from the bar, but I find myself inhaling it because it's a part of Noah. He could smell like dog shit and I'd still want to breathe him in. My sobbing turns into sniffling and eventually I'm done shedding tears. I lift my head and look up into his soft, brown eyes. "I don't want to be alone tonight, Noah. Do you think I could stay with you?"

  He stares down at me adoringly and responds, "You never have to ask, shorty." Turning away from my door we take the few steps across the hall and Noah unlocks the door to his apartment.

  Chapter Five

  I haven’t been in Noah's apartment since he moved in. He's almost always over at our place, but when I look around his place I wonder why we don't spend more time here. His apartment is larger than the one Caleb and I share, but unlike ours, his apartment is one big studio.

  His entire place is laid out in one big room with no curtains or courtesy screens. His bed sits unmade on the far side of the room. He has a large flat screen and loveseat in the middle of the room. It doesn't surprise me that the spot he and Caleb spend hours in playing video games would be the focal point of the apartment.

  His dog, Kaya, comes running over to us and I crouch down to greet her.

  “Hey, girl." I smile as I pet and scratch her under her ears just like she likes. In a lot of ways I feel like Caleb and I share Kaya with Noah. He works crazy hours and occasionally goes out of town so we dog sit a lot at our place. I love Kaya and wish I could see her more. She's a great pet.

  Kaya's two front legs come up on my knees, wrinkling my skirt, and I give her kisses before placing her back on the ground and stand up.

  "I guess my Queen bitch missed you."

  "I missed her, too. You should leave town again so I can spend some quality time with her."

  Noah's expression grows sad. "I don't have to leave town for you to spend time with her. You're welcome over here whenever you want, Skye."

  "I know," I say, shrugging my shoulders. Noah's never been entirely closed off with me. I'm not really sure who started building the wall up between us first, but I'm the one who blocked him out when things got serious with Caleb. It was better that way. Sometimes it was just too hard to be around Noah.

  Noah crosses his arms over his chest and I can faintly see evidence of dark chest hair beneath his thin cotton shirt. "You want something to drink? I've got water."

  "Can I have a beer?" I need something a little more comforting than water tonight to take the edge off.

  He walks over to the fridge and grabs two bottles of Amstel out of the fridge. He pops the caps off using the counter and then walks back over and hands me the cold beer.

  I place the bottle to my lips and instead of savoring the taste, I chug the contents of the bottle and finish my beer in a matter of seconds. Noah chuckles under his breath and then hands me the beer in his hands that he hasn't had a chance to drink yet.

  "Thanks," I respond quietly, embarrassed I'm out drinking him.

  Shrugging his shoulders he walks back over to the fridge and grabs the rest of the six-pack, tucking it under his right arm. "It's no problem, shorty. You deserve a few beers tonight."

  We spend the next hour on his loveseat. He's turned the television on low, but neither of us is watching it. We're not talking much either. I'm just enjoying my beer and the sereneness and comfort of not being alone tonight. Noah was my savior tonight. If he hadn't shown up when he did, I could have been raped, or worse–left dead somewhere and lucky if anyone ever found my body.

  Reflecting over all the years I've known Noah, there's one huge consistency I failed to recognize before–he's always saving me. Whether it was from an approaching rainstorm when I was out in the middle of the lake kayaking, or racing a drunk 13-year-old me home after trying alcohol for the first time so I'd be home before curfew, and then covering for me with my parents, he was always looking out for me. Tonight's no exception because he beat the shit out of a stranger who attacked me.

  I set my beer down on his hardwood floor and move closer to him on the sofa until my left side and his right side are touching. I snuggle into his body and rest my head on his shoulder–sighing out in relief at the comfort being near him brings me. He wraps h
is right arm around my shoulders and relaxes back into the sofa.

  "I'm glad you're okay, shorty. If anything were to happen to you–"

  "But it didn't, Noah. I'm fine...because of you, I'm fine."

  He trails the fingers resting on my upper arm up and down my exposed skin as he holds me close. I kick my heels off and tuck my feet under my butt as I sink further into Noah and let my eyes close, enjoying the serenity of this moment.

  "You mean a lot to me, Skye. You always have. I can't imagine moving on from something like tonight if the outcome had been different." Noah's beard scratches my forehead as he speaks and I look up into his soothing eyes as he finishes speaking. "You have to promise me nothing like that will ever happen again."

  We're both quiet as his request lingers out there, waiting for me to agree. I can't think about what he's asked me to promise when my lips are just inches from his. His nostrils flare and he licks his irresistible bottom lip as he peers down at me. After everything that happened tonight the last thing on my mind should be sex and intimacy, but I want that with him. I'm feeling frisky and I want Noah.

  I'm not sure why all my old feelings for him have decided to come back. It might have started with our moment on the couch, or maybe even before then, but they're not going away. They've bubbled back up to the surface again...if they ever went away to begin with.

  What I know for sure is that I have an unexplainable, uncontrollable need to kiss him right now. I know deep down his lips will be the only thing to pacify the hurt and fear away that were caused by tonight’s events. Licking my lips, I move in, closing any space between us. His lips part and his uneven breath falls against my sensitive skin. When his eyes flicker to my mouth I know he's in the moment with me and wants to kiss me, too.

  My body hums with excitement as I close my eyes in anticipation for what's next. I brush my lips against his and pause, waiting for him to move his lips with me. We're both still–our breath mingles together and his lips softly tremble against mine but he doesn't kiss me. I want his lips to move against mine, so that instead of my lips resting on his we'll actually be sharing our first kiss. Instead, after a few seconds of being frozen in this position, he pulls away slightly and his head falls back on the sofa, breaking our connection.

  Ignoring his rejection, I wrap my right arm around his torso and keep my eyes closed as I rest my head on his chest. "I can't promise you that, Noah. I can't control the billions of other people in this world–I can only control myself. I'm going to be more aware of my surroundings, and I'll try to never put myself in a situation like that again, but it's impossible to completely prevent these things. I just have to trust that I'm doing enough and that you'll be around to save me if I'm not."

  "But I won't always be around, Skye."

  "What do you mean? Why not?" I ask, lifting my head off his chest. Is this because I tried to kiss him? Did I ruin everything?

  He sighs deeply and I feel it against my body as I rest my weight on him. "Eventually you and Caleb will be married and have kids. Caleb will be the one protecting you, not me."

  I guess I never really thought about what would happen once I got married. All the years I've spent with Caleb and I've never once thought of him as my protector. He's not the one I imagine keeping me safe at night. When I think about my safety, the person I trust with my life, it's always been Noah.

  He's right, though, I won't be able to expect him to protect me forever. The thought is disappointing because this is the one and only area in my life I can rely on him. Except for when I need rescuing, I've been on my own. He's flaky and unreliable, with bad hours at work and his dick making all other decisions for him. He owns a business based solely on sexual gratification and he lives most of his life that way, too.

  If I'm going to stay with Caleb and make our relationship work, I need to trust that he's going to be my everything. That includes the one keeping me safe at night. Tonight's the last night I let Noah save me.

  So why does the thought of Caleb protecting me instead of Noah terrify me?

  Skye

  Age 19

  I can't contain my excitement as I bounce around my tiny dorm room, praying the next few hours fly by. The past eight months at NMU have been incredible but I miss my best friend. While I've been experiencing college life as a freshman at Northern Michigan University, Noah's been gone another year touring the world and sending me postcards from each destination.

  If Noah had chosen the traditional route and gone to college, he'd be finishing his senior year and he would be a few weeks away from graduating. Instead, he sold most of his belongings and has migrated from one city to the next these last four years. He's come home for Christmas every year, and he even surprised me last May when he came home for my high school graduation, but for the most part he's been MIA. We keep in touch via text, postcards, and the monthly package I receive from him with a bag of Hershey's Kisses. Even in his travels he hasn't missed one unbirthday and has managed to find these treats in foreign countries.

  The night before he left for the first time I was fifteen and we had a campout in his backyard. I bawled my eyes out. I couldn't believe he was leaving me. Every happy childhood memory centered around him and he was no longer going to be around to create new memories. I thought my life was over.

  He comforted me that night with lots of hugs and funny stories and eventually I cheered up, not wanting to completely tarnish our last night together. Before we fell asleep he gave me a shiny rainbow gift bag to open. Inside was a clear glass jar and taped to the outside was a note written in black sharpie.

  The Happy Unbirthday Jar

  The jar was filled to the lid with Hershey's Kisses and that one gift had me crying all over again. It had only been three weeks since he gave me that first Hershey's Kiss on our walk home from the convenient store, and now he was going on a dream expedition and I didn't know when he'd be back.

  I'll never forget what he said to me that night:

  These chocolate kisses are to remind you every day how special you are, but don't go taking them for granted. Don't take one just because you wake up or when you have a chocolate craving. You're only allowed to grab a kiss after you receive my unbirthday text every day. These kisses mean something to me, Skye, because you mean something to me. When you get my text each day, I want you to remember that every day of your life is worth celebrating. Then, and only then, are you allowed to grab a kiss from the jar.

  It was the sweetest and most romantic thing anyone had ever said to me. It was completely unexpected. Noah kept true to his word, too. No matter where he was in the world, he sent me a text, and every month I received another package from him with a bag of kisses and instructions to replenish the jar. The jar never went empty and I never went a day without the reminder that someone out there thinks I'm special.

  That jar got me through the last four years. Even at college, with my roommate begging me to let her have a piece of chocolate, I never broke his rule. I only ever took a Hershey's Kiss after I received my text from him.

  And tonight he's going to be here to spend the weekend at NMU with me!

  I miss his laugh, and his smell, and the way he tucks my tiny frame under his big arms and holds me close. When he's with me we're the only two people in the room.

  I really miss my best friend. I miss the man I've been in love with for the last four years.

  The last time I saw Noah was around Christmas. That was almost five months ago. We had an amazing week hanging out together and with our families. He took me out one day in his snowmobile and we built snowmen and made snow angels like we were little kids again. It was so easy to be around him, like we'd never been apart.

  Our small town is only twenty-five minutes from my dorm, but because I'm a freshman on a partial scholarship, I have to stay in the dorms my freshman and sophomore year, which is fine for me because I get the independence every young adult needs, with the security of knowing my parents are close by.

  I check the
time on my phone again, anxious for him to get here. I've changed my outfit three times, settling on a pair of black skinny jeans and a black peasant blouse embroidered with colorful flowers that Noah bought for me in Mexico and gave me this past Christmas. My short blond hair is straight and tucked behind my ears and I've put on just enough make-up to still look natural, along with the new lip plumper I bought to draw attention to my lips.

  I'm secretly hoping tonight will be the night he sees me as more than a friend and I can finally share a tender kiss with him.

  I don’t know what I'm going to do until he gets here, but if I stay in my dorm room the time will tick by even slower. I need to find something to occupy my time for the next few hours. I put on my black Chucks, grab my purse, and open my dorm door, determined to find something to do when two beautiful, light brown eyes look back at me.

  He's grown out his beard and what used to be a couple millimeters of scruff is now several inches of dark, coarse hair. It's sexy as hell and I want to run my hands through it, pull on it as I bring his mouth down on mine and kiss his soft lips.

  "Are you just going to stand there or do I get a hello?"

  God, I've missed his voice.

  I squeal and jump into his waiting arms, wrapping my legs around his hips as I slip my arms around his neck and squeeze him tight. He feels like safety and home, and as I close my eyes and breathe him in he smells just as I remembered.

  When I open my eyes again my arms loosen around his neck and I can feel the blush spread across my face and I'm sure my cheeks are bright red with embarrassment. Behind Noah is a good-looking guy, around Noah's age, and he's smirking at me with a knowing grin.

  I loosen my legs from around Noah's hips and hop down before taking a step back, needing to create some distance between us. I'm sure he wasn't expecting to be attacked by me the second I saw him.

  "How's it going, shorty?" He walks into my small dorm room and looks around before throwing his backpack on my roommate’s bed and gesturing for the man in the hallway to come inside. "This is Caleb. We met outside a bar in Prague last summer and spent the week partying. He was with me when I got my last tattoo and finished my sleeve. He met up with me for a drink last night on my fourteen-hour layover and then decided to come back here with me for the weekend since he already took his last final."