Noah

by Justine Elvira

  The reason doesn't matter. All that matters is I want to feel this way again. I'm already craving more.

  Noah crouches down in front of me, dragging my pajama pants down with him. I step out of the legs and then he's throwing my pants on the floor near my flannel top. His hands slide around my hips and squeeze my small ass. He pulls my pelvis flush against his mouth and then his lips kiss me.

  His tongue coaxes my pussy lips apart and then he teases my sensitive clit. It's too soon–every brush of his tongue is almost painful and my body's not ready to go again, but Noah doesn't stop. His tongue licks and caresses me and suddenly I'm already feeling the beginning signs of another orgasm as warmth and tingles spread throughout my pelvis.

  I want to beg him to fuck me. He's already made me come once and I want him to make me come again, while he's inside me, but I don't protest as Noah's tongue continues to stroke my clit, making love to it with a passion I've never experienced before.

  My hands fall to his hair and I tangle my fingers through his dark locks, begging him with my hands to continue. Every dart of his tongue rubs his beard along my inner thighs, stimulating my sensitive skin. His lips close around my clit and he begins to suck and it's enough to throw me over the edge for a second time in just a few short minutes.

  I cry out uncontrollably as I climax against his mouth. He continues to lick and suck my tight bundle of nerves until my body's calmed down, and then he's trailing kisses back up my flesh. He takes his times as his lips linger on different areas of my skin until he's standing back up and I'm watching him adoringly. My hands find the band of his boxers as his mouth claims mine. I can taste myself on his tongue as I pull his boxers down his body.

  Oh. My. God. I think we're really going to be doing this. After all these years I'm finally going to sleep with Noah.

  The possible consequences from what's about to happen never even cross my mind as one of Noah's hands slip back around my waist, gripping the back of my thigh. He lifts one of my legs over his hip, opening me up to him. His other hand takes hold of his cock and he centers it at my greedy core. The brief moment of anticipation is almost too much for my body to handle, but then he pushes inside me and I whimper out in elation.

  His hips move effortlessly, each thrust steady and even. He leaves his one hand on the back of my thigh as his other hand grabs the back of my neck. His forehead falls against mine and he opens his eyes, watching me intensely as he fills me over and over again.

  My lips part as our breaths tangle together in the short distance between our mouths. Each time he thrusts inside me I have the urge to close my eyes in an attempt to capture every blissful moment, but my eyes remain open. I don’t want to miss out on the way he's looking at me right now. Our eyes express exactly what we're not saying.

  He's giving me more than just comfort after a hard night–this is more than just sex. This is two people finally able to express the way they feel about each other in the most beautiful way possible. There’s a reason it's referred to as the art of making love, because the way Noah is moving inside me is an art form, an art form he's perfected.

  That impending sensation is getting closer, reaching higher and higher until that perfect moment where everything bursts inside me. When Noah closes the distance between our lips and touches his tongue with mine I detonate.

  The intensity of what we shared is so strong as I climax around him, sighing out his name in pure euphoria. He cries out, "I love you," and my mouth catches the words as he comes inside me.

  I wrap my arms around his slick back and hold him until I've milked him of every last drop of his cum. We continue to embrace as our breathing settles and the intensity of the moment slowly dies down. His hand slips away from my thigh and I drop my foot to the ground as he pulls out of me. The evidence of him inside me drips down my inner thigh.

  "That was incredible." It sounds like there's gravel in his vocal chords as his voice comes out husky...and sexy as hell. I'm glad he's the first to speak and thinks the sex was incredible, because I have no words to describe what just happened between us. I've never felt anything this good before.

  "Yeah, it was,” I agree, because incredible is a word I can go with until I create a new one worthy of what this feels like. "What do we do now?"

  He leans forward and kisses me, forcing me to moan against his mouth as I kiss him back. He's stirring an unquenchable thirst for him with every kiss. I don’t think I'll ever get tired of the way his lips feel against mine.

  He breaks the kiss before it gets out of hand, and then his beard brushes against my cheek as he whispers in my ear. "Now we sleep, and I go to bed hoping this wasn't all a dream. I want to wake up with you in my arms, and thank God that the real thing was better than every fantasy I've ever had about you."

  He moves away and crouches down until we're face to face again and I kiss the tip of his nose. "That was the cheesiest thing that's ever been said to me, yet somehow exactly what I always wanted to hear you say."

  His only response is a sly grin as he grabs my hand and walks us over to the bed. I slide under the messy pile of blankets and sheets and Noah climbs in after me. He lies down on his back and pulls me on top of his body. I rest my head on his chest and my right hand comes up to play with his chest hair, but he captures it and entangles my fingers with his. We lie like this for a long time, both of us afraid to fall asleep. I'm afraid that when we wake up what happened tonight will be a regret in his eyes.

  What will happen tomorrow? Noah and I will have to eventually talk about where we go from here. Every second of what happened between us tonight was perfect and I don't regret it at all, but I also know nothing is that simple. Having the best sex of my life doesn't solve my problems.

  I'm technically still with Caleb until I break up with him in person. Then I'll have to find a place and move out, if I can even find a place in New York City I can afford. Noah's not going to let me continue working for Forbidden Desires, Inc. so my income will drop dramatically.

  And should I jump into a relationship with him at the same time I'm ending one with Caleb? What will people think? They won't understand. I'm the only one who knows how long I've had these feeling for Noah, and if I tell people it will look like I wasn't being fair to Caleb, like I was stringing him along this entire time when that couldn't be further from the truth.

  I gave up on Noah and was ready to start a life with Caleb. I love Caleb. It may not be a love with the same intensity and raw emotion as the love I have for Noah, but it's still love. I was planning on spending the rest of my life with him until I read those texts. I defended him and stood by him for so long, when my friends thought I was being naive.

  If it gets turned around and I'm portrayed as the villain and Caleb the victim, I'll be wrenched with guilt. I don't deserve to feel guilty because he's the asshole who cheated on me. He's the one who didn't value our relationship enough to be faithful.

  "What's going on in that beautiful mind of yours?" Noah whispers against the top of my head, his chest vibrating with every word.

  "Nothing," I sigh out.

  "Don't lie to me, Skye. I can always tell when you're lying."

  Relaxing into his chest further I squeeze his hand and ask, "What do we do about Caleb?"

  "We don't do anything about Caleb. He's not worth worrying over, not after what he did to you. I'll help you get your stuff out of the apartment tomorrow. Please don't worry, Skye. He's not worth it."

  Kaya whimpers over in her corner of the room as she sleeps on her doggy bed and it comforts me in a small way. Being in Noah's arms with his dog sleeping the night away makes tonight feel very domestic. Maybe Noah is the type of guy who could settle down. Maybe it could all work out after I deal with Caleb.

  I know Noah's right about Caleb and I shouldn't worry, but I can't help it. I'm a worrier. As right as being with Noah feels, in the morning it will feel differently. I jumped from Caleb’s bed to Noah's without a second thought. It can't be this quick and easy to get t
he man I want.

  Chapter Eight

  That place between slumber and awake is the most peaceful, beautiful moment when waking up. It's those brief seconds in your life when everything is perfect and all your cares and worries in the world are non-existent. I'm not a morning person but I love those brief moments in the morning before I'm forced to wake up and face the day ahead of me. It's the best part of waking up.

  Well, it was before today.

  Today I didn't have a chance to bask in those few brief moments of blissful serenity because I was woken up in an entirely different state of bliss. Noah's head is between my legs and his tongue is stroking me into a building orgasm as I shamelessly grind against his face.

  My first waking thoughts are Sweet Jesus and Don't stop and This is what heaven must feel like.

  After he makes me come with a few more perfect strokes, he's crawling up my body, lingering over my nipples when he reaches my breasts. His mouth covers the erect tip, licking the nub before feeding himself as much of my breast that can fit into his mouth, then repeating this with my other breast.

  My hands are everywhere–in his hair, on his chest, digging into his back as I scrape my nails along his skin. I squeeze his tight, firm ass and then he's grabbing the back of one of my thighs and raises it over his shoulder. My other leg is flat against the bed and he begins to tease my pussy.

  "You want it. You know you want it."

  "I do," I pant. His engorged head is teasing my opening and I can't handle the torture.

  "Say the words. Say you want it."

  "I want it. Give it to me...please." His cock sinks inside me, filling me with his hard, thick length.

  We make love slowly. Noah's eyes are closed this time as we create a flawless friction with our bodies, slowly taking us both to that euphoric place. His lips caress my neck with soft kisses as he whispers against my skin, "I love you, Skye. I've always loved you."

  My head falls back against the bed, exposing more of my neck as I arch my back in an attempt to get closer to him, but it's not enough. My body wants to achieve a closeness that's impossible between two people so I'll take being wrapped in his arms as a consolation.

  "I love you, Noah," I whimper back as my body trembles around him in an earth-shattering orgasm. His orgasm follows as he grunts something unintelligible and fills me with his seed. We collapse in a tangled embrace and I fall back asleep almost instantly. My body needs a few more hours of sleep to replenish the energy I just exerted with Noah.

  ***

  When I wake up a few hours later, the late morning sun is shining into his apartment and I'm alone in Noah's large bed. I look around the studio and he's nowhere to be seen. The only door inside his place goes to the bathroom and it's wide open with the lights off.

  Where is he?

  Lifting the sheets I look down at my naked body, comforted knowing it wasn't all a dream. I didn't make it up. Last night and early this morning were so perfect. Years of want and desire were finally expressed so it wouldn't have surprised me if I had imagined the entire thing. I'm glad I didn't.

  Shifting off the bed, I hunt for my flannel pajama pants and when I find them I slip them on. Instead of putting on the matching top that was torn apart last night, I spot a crumpled gray shirt of Noah's on the floor near his bed and put that on. Wearing his shirt feels so...relationship-like. I'm not delusional. I know Noah and I aren't in a relationship...yet, but it still feels nice to have a piece of him with me right now.

  I just wish I knew where he ran off to.

  Do I stay here and wait for him, or should I go back to the apartment and start packing my things up while Caleb is at work? Today is the first morning in a long time I'm happy Caleb has impossible hours and won't be at our place. I don't think I'm ready to face him yet. This will be my first real breakup.

  How do you end a relationship you invested six years of your life to? Actually, the question should be how could Caleb not respect me enough to break up with me before cheating on me with some whore? I know men cheat. I've watched friends go through this plenty of times, but I honestly thought I'd never go through it with Caleb. I mean, I gave him everything he wanted.

  I gave up my nursing dreams for him and followed him to New York. I supported him in every way possible while he was going to law school–helping him study, preparing meals for him, and just being the emotional support he needed to get through it. I cooked for him and cleaned our apartment.

  Was it about sex? Was I not giving him enough? I don't see how that could be possible because I've never turned him down. I'm a pretty sexual woman and I love it just as much as he does so it's not like Caleb wasn't getting enough of it from me. I was the one constantly craving more. He probably just wanted variety. Some men can't handle sleeping with one woman for the rest of their lives.

  It could have just been the timing. Maybe this was the universe finally intervening and stopping me from making a huge mistake with Caleb. If I'm being honest with myself, my heart has always been Noah's. He may not have been what I wanted on paper, but the heart doesn't make decisions based on what looks good. I've always known Noah's the only one who could complete the part of me that's missing, so in a weird twist of fate, Caleb cheating on me is actually a good thing because it brought me to Noah. He's the man I should be with.

  So, where the hell is he?

  I start cleaning up the apartment because I much rather go across the hall with Noah by my side than by myself. I throw the bottles in the sink and toss my pajama top in the trash. As I'm drawing the sheets up to the top of Noah's bed and folding the blankets, a piece of paper drifts off the pillow and onto the floor. When I pick it up, Noah's handwriting covers the top of the page.

  Skye,

  Had to go. I'll explain later. Stay as long as you want.

  –Noah

  I flip it over to look at the back because surely this can't be all he's left me, but the back of the paper is empty, just like his heart.

  He had to go. What does that mean? Where's the Noah who was whispering I love you against my body this morning?

  The Noah in this note is drastically different than the man who was in this bed a few hours ago. Gone are the sweet, romantic words passing his lips and in their place is this cold morning after explanation. No confessions of love are written, no afterglow thoughts expressed. He doesn't even say he'll miss me while he's gone, or that he wishes we were waking up together. Just a Stay as long as you want, like I'm some houseguest he can't be bothered to entertain.

  My mind goes places I shouldn't allow it to go, but I let the doubt seep in.

  The letter might have been left to stir the opposite reaction out of me than how I'm handling it now. His words might have been written to be inviting, but they're anything but. Suddenly I'm uncomfortable being in his apartment. I shouldn't be here. He doesn't seem to want me here anymore.

  For all I know, last night and this morning was just a way to get me out of his system. We've been in each other's lives forever. He was probably just scratching an itch that's been there for a while. He's a man, so of course he's probably thought about sleeping with me before, but in a different way than I thought about sleeping with him. I was longing to have that physical connection with him and express how much I love him. He probably just wanted to finally tap that.

  His confessions of love felt real. When he said he loved me it was the greatest moment of my life. Now I know he probably meant it in the familial way, as a friend or a part of his family. He didn't mean he was in love with me. If he was in love with me he would have stayed with me in bed this morning, but instead he left. He probably regrets crossing that line with me and is unsure if this ruined our friendship so he got out of dodge to avoid the awkward conversation altogether.

  If he had stuck around to talk things out with me this morning I might feel differently. His second thoughts would not have ruined our friendship. I would have been able to get past it all...eventually. But him leaving like this is cowardly. He do
esn't respect me just like Caleb didn't respect me. If he was worried about last night ruining our friendship then he was right because it did.

  I don't think I can just be friends with him anymore.

  I walk over to Noah's key ring by the door and take the key to my apartment off so I can get back inside to grab my things. I'm a big girl. I don’t need Noah with me to collect my belongings. I'll pack a bag quickly and then take a taxi over to Kendall's place. She'll let me stay with her for a while until I figure out what my next move is.

  Knowing Noah he'll most likely offer for me to stay with him, but after the events of the last twelve hours I would never be able to do it. I need some distance from him so I can process all of what's happened and be prepared for when he tells me he regrets last night. Because that's the only way to explain the note he left for me this morning. He regrets it.

  I walk solemnly across the hall and open the door to my apartment, unprepared for what the future holds for me but ready to tackle this small step of getting my stuff out of the apartment. Caleb paid for almost everything in here, so besides my clothes and make-up, I don't have much else to take with me.

  I'm surprised when I close the door to our apartment and Caleb's standing in the middle of the living room. He's still dressed in his monogrammed pajamas from the night before. When his eyes land on mine, he rushes over to me, examining my body up and down frantically. His cell phone is held tight in one hand as he reaches out for me with his other.

  Pulling back so he can't reach me I angrily growl, "Don't touch me."