The Telling

by Beverly Lewis

  “Sounds like you know more about my doctor than I do.”

  There was a convincing twinkle in his deep-set eyes. “I’m discovering she’s one special lady.” He glanced around the well-decorated room, with its rustic but comfortable furniture, greenery, and bold, deep colors. “I hope you don’t mind if I get to know her better, Heather.”

  “If you like her, go for it. That’s your business, Dad.”

  He smiled and pushed back a wisp of hair from her face. “Are you sure, kiddo?”

  “You don’t need my permission to ask LaVyrle out.”

  His eyes searched hers. “What else is on your mind tonight?”

  “Oh, I don’t know,” she hedged.

  “You’re being elusive.”

  “No... just don’t want to hurt you.”

  He took her hand. “Hey, I’m tough.”

  She second-guessed whether she should say anything about her recent decision to search for her birth parents. After all, it was doubtless hard enough for him to see her fighting this illness. They really didn’t know if the cleansing fast would ultimately make a difference in her cancer... or if she’d have a wonderful suprise for her oncologist.

  “You can trust your old man, Heather. C’mon, give it a shot.”

  He was right. “Well, I’ve been thinking about looking for my Amish mother... and possibly my birth father, too,” she said.

  A solemn wave swept his face. “I wondered if you might want to do this someday.”

  She said the idea had come when she’d felt so deathly ill. “I’d just like to meet them... nothing more,” she explained. “I honestly thought I was going to breathe my last upstairs in my room yesterday.”

  “Oh, honey.”

  She leaned her head on his shoulder. “Please, don’t be upset with my wild idea.”

  “You have every right.” He kissed her forehead.

  But the crimp in his voice was obvious, and later, when Heather went to her room for bed, she wished she hadn’t brought it up at all.

  Adah felt greatly relieved as she stood in her kitchen, making homemade popcorn for Jakob. Her heartfelt confession to Deacon Amos this afternoon had been short and to the point, as she had just been telling Jakob. “Amos asked if you were in on the arrangements for Lettie and her baby,” she added.

  “Not nearly enough, I daresay.” Her husband leaned forward in his chair, eyes fixed on the deep pan.

  “I admitted it was mostly my doing. Guess the deacon wondered if you’d thought of goin’ to speak with him, too. Confess, ya know.”

  “I guess if I don’t feel convicted ’bout it, then I won’t be goin’.”

  She eyed his ruddy face, wreathed in smile lines. “Do as you see fit... just so the deacon doesn’t suspect a defiant spirit in you.”

  “Not the case,” he said, watching her pour the hot popcorn into a large bowl.

  She took the entire bowl and set it in his lap. “Don’t eat it all, love.”

  He grinned and reached into the fluffy white mound. “Care for some?”

  “Thought you’d never ask.” She sat next to him to share the evening treat. “Tastes gut, jah?”

  He nodded, reaching for another handful. “Supper was delicious, but I needed something salty.”

  She smiled at him. Her beloved Jakob... he knew what he liked; no getting around it. “So you don’t feel the need to visit Deacon Amos, then?”

  “I made things right with the Lord God long ago... and I’ve spoken to the bishop directly.” His gaze remained on the popcorn. “Quite recently.”

  Adah was surprised at this but said no more about it... ever so glad Jakob had made things right with the man of God.

  Later, after they’d nearly eaten all but a dozen or so unpopped kernels, she looked at the day clock. “It’s getting late.”

  He licked his fingers. “You know, I only hope the brethren will go as easy on Lettie as they did on you, dear.” He cleaned off his buttery hands with his blue paisley handkerchief, then handed her the popcorn bowl before gripping the arms of the chair to ease himself up.

  “Who’s to know?” she said.

  “The Lord does.”

  She placed the bowl in the sink and turned as he limped across the room. “I am glad I spoke to the deacon,” she said quietly. “The Lord’s been workin’ on me for some time now.”

  “Then you must feel as free as the songbirds I watched with Lettie this afternoon.” He gripped his cane as he walked toward her.

  “And you? I can tell you’re feelin’ much better, too... just havin’ her back,” she said.

  Jakob smacked his lips. “’Tis funny how the head and the heart work together in such things.”

  Adah couldn’t agree more. “Jah, ’tis.”

  twenty-nine

  S aturday morning Lettie washed and dressed quickly, then went outside to check on the bird feeders, enjoying the way the meadowlarks, jays, and chickadees landed on them, pecked at the grains, and fluttered away. One lone blue jay eyed her from a nearby branch, as if gauging her proximity to the feeder. Soon he flew back for seconds, plucky enough to return, even though she stood near. They feel safe here, sharing this peaceful spot. Just as I do...

  She liked to think of the morning feeding as a time of gathering, when the whole of the day stretched out before these beautiful, trusting birds. A day with a clean slate. “‘Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done,’” she whispered, giving up her will again to the Lord – relinquishing concern for the whereabouts of her daughter, too. Sometimes it was a twice-a-day occurrence, sometimes more. She’d carried the memory of her firstborn close to her heart for so long, it was difficult to fully surrender. Yet Lettie believed that by lifting her eldest child to the Father each and every morning, she was doing just that.

  “I will never forget you, dear one,” she whispered to the breeze. “And I long to meet you... to know you... in God’s timing.”

  Grace was both surprised and pleased to see Yonnie already sitting in the van when Martin Puckett came by to pick her up at the house. She secretly wondered if this was an answer to her prayer last evening. Well, more of a wish than a prayer, she realized.

  “Fancy meeting you here,” Yonnie teased from his seat near the window in the middle row of seats.

  “I was thinkin’ the same thing,” she said, unable to conceal her smile.

  She slid in next to him, since there was another passenger up front – an Englischer – sitting with Martin. It seemed providential, because this way she and Yonnie could talk privately in Deitsch, and Martin and the talkative older man would be none the wiser.

  “How’re the youngest newborn lambs doin’?” asked Yonnie, his smile almost too wide for his handsome face.

  Dat and her brothers hadn’t mentioned any problems. “Oh, fine... far as I know.”

  “And your mother... is she settling in all right?”

  She nodded, not sure how to answer.

  “Wonderful- gut .” But there was some hesitancy in his voice.

  “Mamma is spending plenty of time now reading the Bible with Dat... more than ever,” she volunteered.

  “My father always says the Good Book has healing power.”

  “Jah, I believe that, too.”

  Leaning closer, Yonnie said, “Ever hear a story about the man who decided to ride his horse backward so he wouldn’t be sidetracked by where he was going?”

  “Nee.”

  “That way he could pay closer attention to where he’d been instead.”

  “Where’d ya hear this?”

  “Don’t remember, really... but it made an impression on me.”

  “Denki for sharing that,” she said quietly.

  “For some folks, where they’ve been – the past – has important meaning for their present circumstance.”

  “And for the future, too,” she replied, surprised at his perceptivity. She guessed he knew about her mother’s search for her child. Goodness, but she was glad Martin Puckett and his other passenger w
ere involved in animated conversation up front!

  “Oh, definitely for the future,” he said.

  She fell silent, pondering the significant things he’d conveyed in such few words. He’s so interesting, she thought, folding her hands in her lap.

  The sunlight played off the windshield of the van. She turned to look out her window, thinking just then of the changing ocean tides – and the way Mamma’s confession might drastically alter her friendship with Yonnie. “Have you ever heard of folks who live near the ocean... who can feel the actual moment when the tide changes?” she asked timidly.

  He looked at her with a quizzical expression. “Honestly, Gracie, I have! And I’ve never known of anyone else who thinks about such things... at least out loud.”

  She smiled. “Well, I read this somewhere, and I really love the idea.”

  He slipped off his straw hat. “You just keep surprisin’ me.”

  Grace laughed softly, letting her imagination fly. What if someday she and Yonnie could visit the ocean and walk along the water, watching the tide creep farther and farther ashore? Might they be able to sense the moment when the tide reversed?

  “Will you be at the next Singing?” he asked, sounding more serious now.

  A lot would depend on how things went with Mamma’s confession, but she certainly didn’t want to mention it now. He might not want to have a thing to do with her following that membership meeting. “I’ll have to see” was all she said, even though she thought it would be great fun to see him at the barn gathering.

  “Well, I hope you’ll be there.” He put his hat back on. “Don’t be a stranger, jah?”

  She couldn’t help smiling again.

  When the van arrived at the Pucketts’ house, she waited for Martin to open the van door to let her out. “Good-bye,” she said to Yonnie. “Have a gut day.”

  “You too,” he replied.

  Walking to the house, she couldn’t get over their many mutual interests... and the way they always found so much to talk about. But for the time being, Grace must set her mind on a layout for Janet Puckett’s herb garden.

  Heather checked her email and gulped when she saw a message from Devon Powers.

  Hey, Heather!

  How’s life? I’ve been thinking about us lately. Really hope you’ll overlook my stupidity.

  I was wrong... can we talk? Write back when you can.

  Missing you, babe –

  Devon

  She could hardly believe her eyes. “How dare you! You can not breeze in and out of my life,” she whispered. Yet it was impossible not to remember the happy times they’d shared – biking along the Virginia Beach boardwalk, going to movies together – before he was shipped off to Iraq with his National Guard unit. And then the onslaught of the literally thousands of emails they’d exchanged over the months when he was so lonely and missing her. Before my diagnosis . She’d never told him about the cancer that propelled her to Amish country to see Dr. LaVyrle Marshall. You bailed on me when I needed you most, Devon....

  He’d dropped her like a stone for someone else, and now here he was, back in touch. The presumptuous correspondence triggered more queasiness in her, and just when she’d started to feel better, too: But this reaction had nothing to do with the cleanse. It was a knee-jerk response to a guy who hadn’t a clue about women. He needs to get a life... and without me!

  It was impossible not to compare his clueless email with the prayer Jim had sent. She’d read the prayer aloud so many times, Heather had made it her own, letting the words flow over her before she fell asleep the last two nights.

  She felt the old anger rising and quickly deleted Devon’s message. Then, going into Settings, she blocked his email address and felt instantly better. There... no more weirdness, she thought with a huge sigh.

  She muttered to herself while she showered, refusing to let the unexpected email tamper with her emotions. Devon’s wretched self-centeredness only made Jim’s sweet-spirited correspondence all the more endearing.

  thirty

  I mmediately upon stepping into the Pucketts’ house that morning, Grace noticed how well organized Janet was – everything seemingly in its place. This being the first time she’d met their favorite driver’s wife, Grace enjoyed getting acquainted.

  After a glass of iced tea, Janet led her outside to the already-tilled rectangular plot – the location of the future herb garden. Grace would lay it out today and, next week, help plant it with Janet.

  “How’d you know of my keen interest in herbs?”

  Janet’s eyes twinkled as she pushed her hair back. “Your father mentioned something to Martin a while back.”

  “Dat sure enjoys talkin’ to him,” Grace said. She stood beneath the shade of a sturdy maple and made a sketch of the projected garden. Front and center in the sunny plot was a spot for the sweet bay, as well as the garlic chive, American marigold, rosemary, and scarlet bee balm. She thought some plantings of butterfly milkweed would look pretty on either side of that midsection. There would be basil and oregano... and, of course, lavender. And to fill in the outer edges, Grace suggested chili pepper and English thyme, with cheddar pink, as well as teasel. Since mint was invasive, it would be confined to a second, much smaller plot in another corner of the yard. As would the dill weed, at the other end.

  Janet asked where she’d learned about herbs, and Grace was quick to tell about Mammi Adah. “She’s been sharing her knowledge of herbs and their healing properties with me ever since I was a little girl.”

  “She obviously taught you very well.” Janet sounded pleased.

  By the time Grace stepped out of the area, she felt as light as a hummingbird’s wings. In the back of her mind, she thought of her ill friend and wondered if Martin might be willing to drop her off at the lodge for a visit.

  I don’t want to miss a single day!

  Grace was surprised to see Heather strolling along the roadside when Martin let her out at the lodge after noon. “Hullo, Heather,” she called, climbing out of the van.

  “Grace... hey!” Heather waved.

  Martin reminded Grace she owed him nothing, saying he’d let her father know when they’d have to start paying for transportation again. “Janet’s very happy with your work, Grace. We’ll see you again on Tuesday.”

  “Glad I can help,” she said, thanking him again. Then she hurried up the road to Heather. “How are you?”

  “Doing a little better. Thankfully, I’ve been busy with classes on food selection and meal preparation. LaVyrle wants us to be able to continue a healing diet when we leave here. So it’s crash course time for nutrition. I’ve still got lots to learn.”

  Grace could see how important that would be after Heather’s struggles to get this far. She also sensed Heather wasn’t as interested in discussing what she was learning as she was distracted by something else. “You sure you’re all right?” she asked hesitantly.

  Heather motioned for Grace to walk with her. “Yeah... I’ve just been thinking a lot about life lately. Mine’s certainly had a few twists along the way. My dad told me something pretty mind-boggling recently, and I’ve wanted to tell someone... especially someone here in Amish country.” She frowned a little, then looked at Grace. “And, well, I’d like to tell you first.”

  Grace stiffened, wondering what Heather was about to say.

  “I mentioned that I was adopted, but at that time I really didn’t know a lot about it. Dad gave me more facts just last week.” Heather went on to say her birth mother had been a teenager from Ohio. “She was Amish.”

  “Really?” Grace found this not only surprising but interesting. “And to think we were just there, too!”

  “Right. And, while I knew it then, I didn’t feel comfortable saying anything.” Heather stopped walking. “After all, that trip was about your mom... and you.”

  “I wouldn’t have minded, really.”

  “I know... which is what’s so terrific about you.”

  Grace didn’t know how
to respond to that, unaccustomed as she was to receiving compliments.

  “It’s hard to understand how it happened... meeting a friend like you. I’ve never had much luck in that department.” Heather picked up the pace, and Grace matched her stride. “By the way, Sally Smucker said something about making strawberry jam at your grandmother’s next week. Any chance I could crash the party?”

  “Why, sure – come on over,” Grace said, delighted, surprised at this – so out of character for Heather. “I’ll be at Eli’s, but don’t let that discourage you from goin’. I’d like for you to have a chance to meet more of the folks round here, ’specially my sister, Mandy.”

  They talked awhile longer, then Heather looked at her watch. “I should head back soon for the next class.”

  “Are you still on the fast?”

  Heather nodded. “But my cravings for solid foods are beginning to subside, so that’s a big help, believe me.”

  Grace was cautious about asking which foods Heather would be permitted to eat come Wednesday. Her friend must’ve sensed the question and began to describe Tuesday afternoon’s upcoming “break-the-fast feast,” featuring a salad of greens and homemade vegetable soup. That evening, brown rice and black beans would be served, along with baked corn chips and salsa. And a dessert – whole-grain banana bread with pineapple glaze topping. “Right about now, that sounds like a real banquet,” Heather admitted.

  “I would guess so,” Grace said.

  “By the way, there’s no need to keep to yourself what I told you about my Amish heritage. I’m proud of it... knowing you as I do, Grace.”

  Grace was relieved to hear it. After all, she’d seen firsthand the pitfalls of secret keeping.

  When Heather had thanked her for stopping by and gone back to the lodge, Grace walked home. She was still pondering the interesting tidbit about her not-so-English friend when she was met by Adam in the backyard, where he was slowly walking Willow. “Come with us... Willow’s been askin’ for you.” He smiled a sad sort of smile and patted the mare’s shoulder.