The Telling

by Beverly Lewis

  “She’s talkin’ to you now?” she joked. “What’s wrong with her?” She fell into step with her older brother and her favorite horse.

  “Nothin’s wrong with Willow.”

  She looked at him. “With you, then?”

  He shrugged.

  “Is this a guessing game?”

  Adam wrinkled his nose. “Aw, Gracie, don’t be lippy.”

  “Sorry, just thinking ’bout other things, I guess.” It was no excuse to be flippant. “What’s botherin’ you?”

  He shoved one hand into his pocket, keeping the other on Willow’s lead. “Prissy’s all ferhoodled.”

  “Again?” She tried not to laugh.

  “Well... you know.”

  “Honestly, I don’t. I ran into her at Eli’s recently, but she seemed herself – just fishin’ for information.”

  He kicked a pebble aside as they walked to the stable. “She’s just so sure Mamma’s confession is goin’ to upset the fruit basket for us all.”

  “She means it’ll upset it for you ... for the two of you.”

  “Could be.”

  “Is her family puttin’ pressure on her to break things off with you?”

  He turned swiftly. “Puh! Why would you say such a thing?”

  “Because that’s what I think.”

  “But, Gracie...”

  “Since when can’t we speak frankly? We’ve always talked openly before.”

  “Jah, before our mother ran off into the night. She never once stopped to think how all this would affect us, did she?”

  She could see Adam was upset. “Maybe not. But how is any of what’s happened Prissy’s concern?”

  Adam fell silent for a time as they approached Willow’s stall.

  Then Grace asked, “Prissy doesn’t know ’bout... Mamma’s past, does she?”

  He blew air out of his mouth. “Not from me, no. But she will soon enough – from Mamma, if she confesses.” He turned and stared at her, incredulous. “You must not understand what could happen a week from tomorrow, sister.” He frowned severely. “Do ya?”

  “It’s my first members’ meeting for a kneeling confession... so, no.” She stiffened. What on earth did he mean?

  “Our mother could be shunned if the membership doesn’t accept her confession – the worst thing that can happen to a church member.” Adam wore agonizing worry on his face.

  She winced. Enough bad things had happened to their family already.

  “And if Priscilla’s parents decide they don’t approve of her in-laws – Mamma, especially – they could step in.”

  “And do what?”

  “End the engagement,” he said flatly. He reached to open the stall, ushering Willow inside.

  “Well... this isn’t an arranged marriage, is it?”

  “Don’t be lecherich – ridiculous.” Bowing his head, he added, “Maybe this is why some couples run off to get married.”

  “Elope?” Grace stroked the mare, who had turned and was looking right at them.

  “Maybe so.” He reached for Willow’s mane.

  “Ever think you could do better than Prissy Stahl?”

  Adam gave her a glaring look. “Ever think of standin’ by your word?”

  She cringed, knowing he meant Henry, but ignored Adam’s response. “Prissy will rule the roost, for sure. Your roost.”

  “But that doesn’t merit a breakup, ’least not on my part. My word is gut. ”

  They were quiet for a time. Then Grace said, “Guess I spoke out of turn.”

  “You don’t give her enough credit,” he said. “There’s a whole other side to Prissy that you don’t know.”

  Grace didn’t know what to say to that.

  Just then, she saw Dat and Mamma walking toward the meadow, hand in hand. “Lookee there,” she said, feeling suddenly warm inside. “Did ya ever think you’d see that?”

  Adam shook his head.

  “Appears to me like they’re fallin’ for each other – ’least deeper than they ever were before.”

  “A long time comin’,” he said.

  Grace kept watching their parents. “Don’t know what to make of it,” she admitted.

  “Something happened to them while Mamma was gone,” Adam said, petting Willow gently.

  “Maybe they’re tending to what they have, instead of wishin’ for what they don’t.”

  “Mamma’s heart’s softer, that’s for certain,” Adam said.

  “And Dat’s more talkative than ever... even affectionate. Both of them are ever so different.” She watched Dat slip his arm around Mamma and had to look away, lest she cry. “Whatever comes of the confession next week, I guess it’s not anything you can help, jah?”

  “I sure don’t want to have to run away to get hitched with Prissy.”

  “Then don’t.” The thought of missing out on her favorite brother’s wedding made her grit her teeth. “It’s a family day. We’ll all want to be there.”

  Her brother’s face was set and hard. She thought she saw his chin quiver and realized Adam cared as much for Prissy as Dat loved Mamma. “Adam... no need to borrow trouble,” she said.

  “Well, I can tell ya... there’s no way Mamma’s going to back down and not kneel before the congregation.” He left the stable, stepping into the brilliant sunshine. “That type of sin requires it.”

  Grace understood something of Adam’s fear. She had been concerned over what might happen to her friendship with Yonnie, and he wasn’t even her beau.

  Looking up at her brother, she slipped her arm through his and walked beside him, helping to bear the immensity of his burden.

  Heather really did feel some better today. According to LaVyrle, her body was already well into the detox mode by this sixth day, sloughing off diseased cells. Only once that process came to an end could it replace the cancerous tissue with healthy new tissue.

  Eager to document the day, she opened her laptop to her daily journal.

  Day 6 of the Wellness Lodge

  I’m more than halfway into my juice fast and feeling better than I’d ever thought possible, especially after my “near-death” day. My sleep is deeper and I have increased energy, even without eating solids!

  Dad dropped by again tonight and showed me some digital pictures of the housing site. My outlook on the new home seems more positive, now that I’m over the worst of the detox. I don’t know why exactly, but I’m excited about seeing the house all framed in and the interior starting to take shape. With so many Amish workers swarming over the place, it might look like an ant colony. If I can finish my thesis in time, maybe I’ll drive back up here and check it out.

  Dad stayed around for quite a while to talk with LaVyrle and me. I’ve agreed to caravan home with him a week from tomorrow, since his realtor wants to discuss staging the house so it will sell more quickly. That means I’ll get to stay at Sally Smucker’s from only next Wednesday through Saturday before heading home... but what a great add-on to what I’ve learned here!

  It’ll be hard saying good-bye to LaVyrle – I expect Dad will be counting the days till his return. And by the way she hangs on his every word, I’m pretty sure she’ll be looking forward to seeing him again, too.

  On top of everything else, Jim sent me an email asking if he could call me sometime. After some careful thought, I’ve decided to go out on a limb and say yes. I hope I don’t regret it....

  I certainly don’t want to regret starting a search for my birth parents. Such a move might put a wrench in Dad’s happiness. I wonder what Grace would advise – she has such insight into other people, something I’ve always lacked. I really missed her after today’s short visit. Is this part of the detox process, too – desiring to connect with the human race... to make friends?

  And why am I so taken with Grace, so totally unlike anyone I’ve ever known? Unless... is it possible I’m catching up for all the years I was never aware of my genetic roots? Maybe she’s exactly the sort of friend my first mom would wish for me....
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br />   thirty-one

  That evening, instead of heading upstairs to her room after family Bible reading and prayer, Grace wandered over to her grandparents’ kitchen. Dat and Mamma had gone riding alone in the family buggy, of all things, like they were courting again. Making up for lost time.

  Dawdi Jakob was holding a pack of Uno cards when she stepped into the kitchen. He looked like he was itching to get started. “We’ve got us another player, Adah.” He gave Grace a lazy grin.

  “Come join us.” Mammi waved her into the room.

  Grace slid in next to her grandmother at the table and picked up the cards to shuffle them.

  “Uno all right with you?” Mammi asked.

  “Better than Old Maid,” Grace was quick to say.

  Dawdi chuckled, a sparkle in his bluish gray eyes. Then he said, “How was your mornin’ over at Pucketts’?” He folded his wrinkled hands, the veins on the back of his hands evident through the onion-thin skin.

  Grace described Janet’s herb garden, with its decorative floral elements. “Anything to do with herbs and gardens, I love. Much like someone I know.”

  Mammi smiled sweetly.

  They drew cards to see who would deal, and Grace got the highest number. “Heather seems to be feelin’ better,” she said, making small talk.

  Mammi flipped the top card over and placed it on the stack. “Poor girl. To think she’s fighting such a serious disease at her age. I wish Marian and I would’ve known sooner.”

  Grace murmured her own concern, then looked at her cards and found a match.

  “I hope she responds to whatever they’re doin’ for her over yonder,” Mammi said.

  “Me too.” Grace thought again of Heather’s surprising news that she had Amish kin living somewhere in Ohio.

  Mammi drew a card, and the game went on amidst a running commentary from Dawdi, who made Grace laugh repeatedly. Then, when she was down to a single card, she called out, “Uno,” and on the next play, she won the game.

  Dawdi insisted they play a second game, so they reshuffled and started again. Before long, Dawdi triumphed over the second game with great glee.

  Mammi rose and filled the teakettle with water. “Will you stay for some tea?”

  Grace looked at the day clock. “Oh, I shouldn’t. I was up so early this morning.”

  Mammi’s eyes pleaded. “Aw, just one cup, Gracie?”

  Dawdi nodded as though she should stay.

  “All right, then. Only one cup, though.” Grace gathered up the cards and put them away, then went to get three pretty cups and matching saucers from the china hutch. “Do you want the everyday ones?” she asked over her shoulder.

  “Sure... fine.” Mammi Adah carried the sugar bowl to the table.

  “Why not use the best cups?” Dawdi piped up.

  Mammi agreed. “No need savin’ them for a special gathering, I guess.”

  “This is about as good as it gets,” Dawdi said, grinning at them.

  When the water was poured and tea bags and sugar set in, Grace noticed Dawdi begin to nod off. “Looks like someone’s as tired as I am.”

  “I think all of us should call it a night soon,” Mammi said, stirring in some extra sugar.

  Grace raised her dainty cup and took a sip. “Ah, this is nice.”

  “Glad you stayed, Gracie.”

  They looked over at Dawdi, whose beard was crushed against his chest. He’d fallen sound asleep right where he sat, waiting for his tea. They exchanged silent smiles.

  “Your Dawdi didn’t need tea to relax him,” Mammi said softly. “He’s ever so relieved your Mamma’s home, I’ll say.” She remarked on how well Dat and Mamma were getting along.

  Grace thought it awkward that her grandmother should comment on that. “Mamma seems so happy” was all she said, wondering if they shouldn’t retire for the night. With tomorrow a no-Preaching Sunday, they could take the day a little more slowly than usual. Unlike Heather, she thought, who won’t be getting a break from her new routine. It was still hard to believe the Virginia girl was part Amish.

  Mammi Adah’d never guess.

  A warm breeze came in through the open back door as Grace said quietly, “My friend Heather told me something fascinating today.” She paused. “Hard to believe, really...”

  “What is?”

  “Well, she says she’s part Amish.”

  Mammi’s eyebrows rose at that. “How do ya mean?”

  “I’ve known for a while Heather was adopted,” Grace said. “I just didn’t know till today she had an Amish mother.”

  “Well, for goodness’ sake!”

  Grace told how both girls had felt drawn to friendship – “from our first meeting over at Eli’s Natural Foods. It seemed peculiar to me at the time, but now, knowing this... well, it might make more sense. Just think: We could even be cousins – who’s to know?”

  Mammi’s face had turned as red as the hummingbird feeders. “Where... was Heather born, do you know?”

  “Ohio somewhere.”

  Mammi grew quiet and stared for the longest time at the remaining tea in her cup. Dawdi, meanwhile, was beginning to snore. “Are ya sure?” Mammi seemed to look right through Grace, as if staring at something beyond.

  “All I know is her mother came from a town in Ohio.”

  “And you said the other day she has an April birthday, ain’t?” Mammi Adah asked.

  “Jah, just six days after mine – April twenty-ninth.”

  Her grandmother rose from her chair, then wavered a bit, putting her hands out to steady herself as she headed for the sink.

  “You all right?” Grace called to her.

  “Ever so tired,” Mammi muttered. “Not to worry.”

  By now, Dawdi Jakob was tilting so far forward in sleep that Grace was afraid he might fall face-first on the table. She got up and stood behind him, placed her hands on each side of his whiskered face, and gently raised his head. He awakened with a great sputter, knocking the pretty teacup with his hand and accidently spilling the now-tepid water.

  Abruptly, Mammi turned and dried her face on her apron. She spied Grace mopping up the water and came over to help Dawdi out of his chair. “Ach, should’ve put you to bed earlier,” she said, helping him as they both hobbled toward the stairs.

  Grace watched to make sure they made it safely up the back steps, then went to her room to slip into her own bed. Yet long into the night, Grace couldn’t help wondering about Heather’s Ohio Amish origins. Such a peculiar surprise!

  thirty-two

  Before Sunday breakfast, Grace meandered outside to watch the many birds. The jays pranced about, pecking at hulls as if they owned the place, while the songbirds fluttered gracefully to the feeders, flying off to deposit seeds elsewhere before coming back for more.

  This being the first day of June, Grace expected it would be warm and humid, if not downright hot. She would go barefoot to visit first Becky, then over to see Heather later in the afternoon. A no-Preaching Sunday meant cold cuts and pie at the noon meal and suppertime, allowing ample time to read the Good Book and visit family and friends. Such a relaxing day.

  Grace wanted to take along the Cape May diamond to show Heather. She might take the Uno cards, too, hoping to teach her friend how to play, if she didn’t already know. Sure, they were both excuses to see her yet again, but now that she knew Heather had some Amish roots, it made her feel closer to her than ever.

  Between breakfast and the noon meal, Lettie read four chapters from the old German Bible and four from a Pennsylvania Dutch version of the New Testament that had been translated from the King James. Later, she wrote a letter to Susan Kempf, added several paragraphs to a circle letter from New Holland, and took a long walk with Judah out on the mule trails that led to the hayfield. Never before had she felt such peace. She wholeheartedly believed she and her husband had turned a corner, and even their children were taking notice. So were her parents. By turning over the search for her child to the Lord, Lettie had settled the an
gst that had plagued her life for so long.

  She believed God was calling her to fast one meal each day, for several days prior to her confession next Sunday. Judah had agreed, and it felt good to be in one accord with him. The barrier of more than two decades was beginning to crumble.

  Yet despite the strides she’d made since coming home, Lettie still longed for the child she’d given up – missed her as much as when Mamm and the midwife had taken her away.

  Each day now required a purposeful extending of mercy to Mamm – a conscious act of forgiving so that she, too, could receive God’s forgiveness. The Lord’s cherished words from the Sermon on the Mount came to mind: Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.

  Lettie prayed that not even the coming confession could disrupt this sweet tranquility.

  Heather strolled down to Mill Creek with her phone to find the spot where Sally Smucker had gone to pray during her stay at the lodge. She knew she was becoming stronger. Even her breath was sweeter, one of the significant signs pointing to improved health.

  She liked the sheltered feeling inside this little grove of trees, where green branches and vines enclosed her and the wide creek rushed past. Sally had said it was an ideal spot to commune with God. So there Heather was, offering her private thoughts to the Creator. Nearly everything else in this life could be laughed away, but her struggle – this was for real. She’d found herself pondering hard her purpose for being, the twists her life had taken. It didn’t seem fair that she’d never known her original parents. But hadn’t she enjoyed the flip side of that? The truth was, her adoptive parents had been more than enough.

  She sat cross-legged in the grassy spot and silently prayed a prayer of broken hearts and broken wings... of being small in an enormous universe, and of feeling so utterly alone at times. Oh, how she missed the person she’d been closest to! “My mom,” she whispered. “Of all people, why’d you choose to take her?” The question needed to be spoken.

  When she finished her solitary time, her phone vibrated, signaling a call. She did not recognize the number or the last name – Lang – but she answered. “Hello?”