Stolen Ecstasy
Page 25
Despite her first impression that Bonnie was delicate and fragile, Rebecca sensed a keen intelligence and courage in this girl. On closer inspection, she seemed quite strong willed. Bonnie made no attempt to snatch the knife or to race from the tepee. Honesty would help Bonnie the most. “Please don’t call them savages, Bonnie. It isn’t true, and it could get you into trouble. There’s so much you don’t understand about them. If whites would stay out of their territory, they wouldn’t be killing so many to drive us away. You don’t know how many soldiers and settlers steal things from their burial grounds and how many Indians they murder. They didn’t start this war, Bonnie; our people did. The sooner you realize we’re the intruders and enemies, the better off you’ll be. I’ve seen and learned so much since I was captured. It’s tragic that people like you and me get caught in the middle. We have to pay for others’ greed and cruelties.”
“My father wasn’t greedy or mean,” she protested too quickly. “He was a doctor. He came here to help people, and they murdered him!”
“War parties don’t usually attack without just cause. I’m from the Missouri Territory, near St. Louis. My capture was much like yours. Believe me, Bright Arrow and his band had plenty of good reasons to attack our group. I was a sole survivor. What happened to your group?” she probed. The only way to help Bonnie accept her captivity was to help her understand the reasons for it, to help her realize the Indians weren’t the savages she believed them to be. Defiance, disobedience, and resentment would only bring her suffering. When Bonnie remained silent, Rebecca asked, “How old are you?”
“I’m nineteen,” Bonnie replied almost sullenly, trying to ignore the shameful and tormenting truth in Rebecca’s words.
“Were you married?” Rebecca asked curiously.
“No. Papa needed my help with his work, so he turned down every man’s offer. I was sort of his nurse. I helped with surgery and doctoring. I gathered plants and herbs and made medicines. Truth is, I’m a better doctor than Papa was.” She laughed at that disclosure. “People don’t trust female doctors, so I was Papa’s assistant. He promised he would find me a husband after we settled here.” Suddenly she changed the subject. “How can you stand being an Indian slave?” she wailed. She hadn’t wanted to confess that her father had been mean and selfish, that he would have kept her around like a slave for as long as he could!
“Did you see the two men who were in this tepee?” When Bonnie nodded, Rebecca challenged, “Have you ever seen any white men as handsome, or as strong, or as brave?”
“What does that have to do with accepting captivity?” she gasped. She eyed Rebecca intently, piqued at her attitude and words.
“I just wanted to point out that they are not very different in appearance from white males, and they have many good qualities other than their looks. I’d be willing to bet Windrider didn’t cause that injury, that he never harmed you at all,” she declared confidently. Bonnie’s expression answered for her. “He’s not a savage, Bonnie; he’s a kind man. And he’s one of the most famous warriors in this area. If you obey him, he’ll take care of you and won’t allow anyone to harm you. If you foolishly display your hatred and hostility, these people never accept you. Don’t prove you’re an enemy, and don’t constantly remind them you’re a spiteful captive. If you do, he could trade you to another warrior who isn’t so kind, or handsome, or gentle. Please, give yourself time to see things from their point of view. Don’t fight this thing, Bonnie; you’ll be the one to suffer, and you’ve suffered enough. I’ll do everything I can to help you adjust. But the choice to make it easy or difficult or even impossible is yours. I can protect you only so far. Please help me to help you,” she urged the attentive girl.
“Do you… sleep with him?” the panicky girl questioned.
Rebecca grinned, for she was able to answer, “No. The other woman is his wife. I help her do the chores. Her name’s Sucoora. You’ll like her. I’m teaching her English and she’s teaching me Cheyenne. I can also speak Sioux. I belonged to the other warrior who was here when you entered. They’re close friends, so I’ve moved into this tepee. He’s returning to “his people, and… they won’t allow him to keep a white slave. They’ve ordered all whites from their camp. Bright Arrow is Sioux; Windrider is Cheyenne,” she explained.
“Is it too bold to ask if you love him?” the perceptive girl queried. She had noticed a sad expression cross those tawny eyes.
“I’ve been with him for many years. He loves me, but the Sioux won’t allow him to keep me. He’s the son of a chief, the fiercest enemy of the whites. When you’ve been here a while and witnessed a few white massacres, you’ll understand why the Indians hate the whites and resist their intrusion. I know that’s hard for you to believe at this time, but the day will come when you can no longer ignore the truth. You might even be ashamed to be white. Bright Arrow’s a very special man. I wish there were time for you to get to know him. He’s been very good to me over the years. I guess I can’t blame his people for despising and rejecting all whites. Soldiers have tried to kill both Gray Eagle and Bright Arrow countless times. They’ve attacked their camp and slaughtered innocent children, women, and old people. How I wish a lasting peace or truce could be made!”
“Will you be this Windrider’s woman now?” Bonnie probed.
Rebecca replied honestly, “Bright Arrow will try to change his council’s mind about me. If not, then I’m to… become Windrider’s wife.”
“His wife!” Bonnie shrieked. “But he’s a savage!”
“Just because his skin is another color doesn’t make him a savage. You’ll probably be as dark as he is by the end of the summer. Will that make you a savage?” she teased to lighten the heavy gloom. “The difference between us is simple. It’s like the difference between Americans and French or Spanish or any other country where people vary in looks and language. It’s the same with the Indians. They have different tribes and nations. Some are allies and some are enemies.”
“But you said they reject whites,” Bonnie reasoned.
“The Sioux reject whites; the Cheyenne do not. They’re friends, but they have different laws and customs. I’m not a slave, Bonnie. I’m free to leave if I wish. I don’t have any family or any place to go. Windrider is very kind and generous to take me in and take care of me. He doesn’t view me as an enemy; we’re friends. He was going to trade you to another warrior,” Rebecca began to disclose.
“I don’t want to go!” she cried out in alarm, interrupting her.
“I begged him to let you remain here, and he agreed for now. If you do as I suggested, he’ll keep you. If not…” She left her implied warning hanging in air for emphasis.
“Will I have to… do everything he says?” she inquired, her face glowing red. Her insinuation was clear and disturbing.
Rebecca selected her words carefully and spoke them lightly. “I can almost promise you he will not take you to his sleeping mat. I think the sun would turn as blue as your eyes first. He has Sucoora and might soon have me. I doubt he needs three women,” she jested. She impulsively added, “But if Bright Arrow returns for me in a few months, your fate and safety will be in your own hands, Bonnie. They won’t allow you to go with me to the Sioux camp. Besides, you’ll be happier and safer here with the Cheyenne. If that day comes, you’ll know enough to be fine here with Windrider and Sucoora.”
Suddenly this situation didn’t seem so dark or ominous. Bonnie curled her legs behind her, then leaned forward. There was an odd feeling of suspense and excitement filling her. As if at home already, she smiled and chatted freely and easily. “Do you think Windrider is tempting? Is that why you’ll become his… woman?” Bonnie asked boldly, recalling the warrior vividly in her mind. For some inexplicable reason, her fear and antagonism were vanishing. She was an intelligent girl who realized how lucky she was to be a prisoner in this particular tepee. Now that her panic and ignorance were subsiding, she began viewing this situation and her handsome captor in another light.
“Come, I’ll show you where to bathe and wash your dress. Then we’ll see to your wound and finish the chores. The men are leaving on a trip tomorrow. If you escape from here, Bonnie, you’ll face worse dangers alone,” she added in warning, then rose.
Bonnie stood up to follow her. They passed Sucoora, and Rebecca told her their plans. The two white women walked to the river and found a secluded spot. Rebecca told Bonnie to strip and bathe. After a brief hesitation, she complied. Rebecca scrubbed her dress and lay it over a rock to dry in the heat and sunshine, while Bonnie washed her hair and body with the soap and rag Rebecca had supplied. When she was finished, she sat on the bank clad in a blanket, allowing Rebecca to tend her wound and bind it.
Bonnie explained timidly, “I was trying to get away and ran into a tree stump. It tore the flesh, but it doesn’t seem too bad,” she remarked, eyeing the injury and treatment. ‘Thanks, Rebecca.”
Rebecca smiled at her, then handed her a highly prized brush to untangle her cornsilk and honey hair. While Bonnie worked with her long hair, Rebecca gathered wood nearby. By the time she was finished with her task, Bonnie’s dress and hair were nearly dry. The girl slipped into the sun-dulled paisley garment, then braided her hair for coolness. She helped Rebecca carry the wood back to camp.
To Sucoora’s surprise and Rebecca’s pleasure, Bonnie did not rebel at a single order given her that day. She seemed only too glad to obey quickly and efficiently. Her tone was respectful and her expression was amiable. By the time the two men returned, all of the chores were completed and the evening meal was ready. Between tasks, Rebecca had explained many customs to Bonnie to prevent insults or mistakes.
When the children hurried over from their games, Bonnie appeared astonished to learn three of the girls belonged to Rebecca and Bright Arrow. But she was horrified to learn the children would leave with the father and Rebecca might never see them again. She did not understand this cruel custom. How could anyone reject a woman as beautiful and gentle as Rebecca Kenny? Bonnie watched and remembered each action and expression from the people in her new world. With each passing hour and kindness, she surrendered more readily to this inevitable fate. Yet she knew she had Rebecca to thank for her position and treatment. She observed the way the Sioux warrior gazed longingly at the flame-haired woman he was losing to Fate, and she noticed the way Rebecca would sneak similar looks at him. Bonnie admitted to herself that Bright Arrow was a handsome and manly creature, a man to turn a woman’s head and flutter her heart, but not like the other male.
Bonnie Thorne was particularly intrigued by Windrider. Each time she looked at him, she experienced funny sensations in her chest and lower, in the region of her womanhood. In fact, she found it difficult not to stare at him! His face and body were like magnets to her eyes! It wasn’t hard to see that he held little affection for or interest in Sucoora, but he seemed quite taken with Rebecca. She didn’t know why that annoyed her, but it did
When the men finished their meals, the children and women ate. Windrider and Bright Arrow sat in the center of the tepee, reclining against backrests made of slender, supple branches lashed together with rawhide thongs. They smoked their pipes and discussed their impending journey in Cheyenne, as only Sucoora knew that language and she was out visiting friends. Rebecca and Bonnie played with the children at one side of the tepee. After a short time Little Feet and Moon Eyes were put to bed on one mat; Bonnie had been told to sleep with Tashina on another one close by. Rebecca put Windrider’s children on their assigned mats.
Bright Arrow stood up and stretched, then asked to speak with Rebecca outside. Anxiety lined her forehead, but she obeyed to avoid a scene. Windrider said he was going to speak with White Antelope and Shooting Star one last time. He wanted to follow them to make sure Bright Arrow didn’t coerce her as he had seen him do at the pond, but he didn’t. He stood, flexed his body, and left. Rebecca told Bonnie to watch over the children and that she would return soon. Bonnie nodded and lay down with the smallest child. The idea of escape did not enter her mind as she drifted off to sleep on this exhausting and monumental day.
Rebecca and Bright Arrow strolled in silence until they had left the last circle of tepees. “I have given your words and our quarrel much thought. There is much to explain,” he murmured in dread, then went on to reveal his love and desire, his fears and his hopes, his mistakes and his plans for them. He tried to clarify the misconceptions he had unconsciously planted in her and Windrider. He made it known he had not given up on their relationship and wouldn’t until he died. He made certain his meanings were clear to her. For all time she was his woman, he told her, his love.
“I don’t understand, Bright Arrow. You say one thing, then behave another way. Are you saying you don’t want me to live in Windrider’s tepee?” she questioned in mounting confusion.
“Live there, yes; but marry him, no. I meant live there as his friend, his sister. I would not give my woman—my one love—to another. If my words meant such to you, then I spoke them poorly or you heard them incorrectly. I wish you to remain safe and near until I can come for you. I do not know how many moons it will take to earn the council’s approval, but I must find a way. You are my heart, my life, and I cannot live without you. I beg you, Rebecca, do not turn to Windrider while there is still love and hope between us. I fear the look in his eyes and the pain in your heart. If Grandfather shows me victory on this quest, my people will deny me nothing,” he vowed confidently. “I spoke in haste and jealousy. I ask your forgiveness and patience. Many times I have been cold and selfish. I have pushed you from my arms and warmth when you needed them. In my heart, I was not a man. I was afraid, and I was ashamed. I could not bear for you to touch me in such dishonor. When I became a man once more, I feared my love for you would weaken my purpose. You do not know the powerful hold you have on me,” he confessed. “If I yield myself to you, I will be unable to meet this awesome challenge before me.”
When her gaze continued to hold that expression of puzzlement, he mumbled sadly, “I cannot find the words to explain my feelings. I love you and I cannot lose you. Please stand at my side,” he urged.
“How can I when your people won’t allow it?” she replied. “Must we retrace this same painful ground? There is no path to happiness for us. Didn’t your vision tell you that?”
He grinned, then laughed. “It is not our way, but I will share my vision with you to prove my love and trust. There were things in my vision that I did not understand until this sun. I feared the words that were missing from my vision. Now I understand all, and my heart sings with joy and relief. The same is true of Windrider’s vision quest. I feared what I did not understand and did not want to accept. Words were spoken before my mind cleared of the peyote, words that misled Windrider and you, my love. His vision has come to pass this day, but he does not realize it. You must speak of this to no one,” he cautioned gravely.
Rebecca locked her inquisitive gaze on Bright Arrow’s arresting face. “I swear to you I will tell no one of your words or direction.”
He led her to a place far from camp where a rock formation hid them from view. He leaned again
st it, then pulled her close to him. She stood between his spread legs with her palms resting on his shoulders, and his interlocked hands were looped around her waist, causing their bodies to come into intimate contact. His breath was warm and fragrant as he spoke, and their gazes fused as she listened intently.
After he revealed his vision and imminent quest, Rebecca said nothing. She knew how important visions were to the Indian. She knew they followed them without question and accepted their guidance. There was no way Bright Arrow could have obtained such facts about an expedition, so it must have been a dream or drug-induced illusion. As soon as he tired of seeking these white men who did not exist, he would return and work on their problem. She would never say anything to discourage him or to deny the power of his visions. Instead, she smiled complacently.
“I must go,” he stressed. “When I return in great honor, my people will be forced to accept my demand to keep you.”
Rebecca was touched by his wishful plans. What was the harm in letting him dream and hope a while longer? The trip would be good for him. It would finish toning his body and sharpening his instincts and skills. Surely he would find some evil whites to punish—using his victory to prove his daring and honor—for many invaded his lands each day! It would be good for him to be alone with his thoughts and dependent on his prowess. And it would give her the time and opportunity to see what her life would be like without him; it would allow her to see what her existence with Windrider would be like. It was time she discovered if she could live without him if it became necessary. Yes, the journey was critical for all concerned. At last, he was trying to communicate and share with her, and his mood and words warmed her heart and body.