Stolen Ecstasy

by Janelle Taylor

  Rebecca’s hand went up to caress his smooth jawline. “Yes, my love, you must seek this quest that will determine our fates. Until the council’s vote after your return, you will be the only man in my life.” She smiled at him as she tickled his lips with a fiery curl.

  Bright Arrow wished she had added “and my heart.” He was worried over this attraction between her and Windrider. He prayed it wasn’t too late to prevent them from falling in love. Yet he knew why they had been kissing and embracing that night. Windrider believed she was the answer to his quest and no doubt had told her about his vision and their talks. “Tell me of the white captive Windrider gave to you,” he coaxed disarmingly.

  Rebecca related all she had told Bonnie and her impressions of the white girl. “Are you angry because Windrider gave her to me?”

  “No. It was the will of Grandfather that she remain in his tepee,” he stated mysteriously, then told her of Windrider’s vision. “He believed Grandfather meant you, just as he believes I have given my permission for him to have you. I saw her and knew it was not so.”

  “You think Windrider will marry Bonnie Thorne?” she asked in disbelief. “He was going to sell her. Does that sound as if he has love and desire flowing in his body for her? I didn’t notice any magical attraction between them. He hardly looked at her.”

  “Grandfather used you to halt the trade. When the time is right, He will open Windrider’s eyes to the truth of his vision. The Spirits of the sky have touched her body and painted their signs there: sky, moon, sun, stars, and clouds. Bonnie will accept the Cheyenne and Windrider. Grandfather has chosen her and sent her to Windrider, just as He chose you and sent you to me. My people will not part us, Rebecca; it is not the will of Wakantanka,” he asserted confidently.

  “But what of the vision’s words about her sacrifice and her help to them?” Rebecca reasoned, balking at what she thought were foolish conclusions.

  “Losing her father, her people, her home, and her possessions to find Windrider were great sacrifices. Grandfather will find a way for her to win favor in the eyes of the Cheyenne. Hear my words, Rebecca. She will help the Cheyenne in a time of great pain and sadness. When that moon arrives, you will know I speak the truth. You are not to be the new woman in Windrider’s tepee; you are to remain in my life-circle.”

  As she considered his wild claims, Rebecca frowned at the blinding and misleading effects of his customs and beliefs. How could she tell him he was wrong! How could he possibly believe Windrider would fall in love with and marry Bonnie, a captive he had barely noticed! Was it wishful dreaming? Didn’t he realize Windrider was in love with her? Didn’t he realize Windrider would marry her at a moment’s notice! Were his words merely a clever ruse to keep them apart until his return?

  “Does this news make you angry and sad?” he inquired.

  “If it is true, I will do nothing to prevent their union. If it is not, I don’t want Bonnie hurt,” she told him in dismay.

  “How would she be harmed?” he probed in confusion.

  “If you and Windrider believe she is the answer to his quest, would you force her to comply with the demands of his vision? What if you’re wrong? What if Bonnie doesn’t love him or want him? What if she resists being the answer to his quest? What if she falls in love with him, and he decides she isn’t the one Grandfather sent to him? She’s so young and vulnerable, Bright Arrow. Love can be painful sometimes. What does Windrider think?” she asked.

  “I saw this truth when he brought her to his tepee. He has not seen it. His eyes and mind are blinded by you. The vision will come to pass. No one can prevent it. Just as I was sent here to reclaim myself, you were sent to help Bonnie. Do not be hurt when he does not chose you as his wife. That love and desire will fade when the truth enters his heart and mind. Do not fall in love with him, Rebecca.”

  Vexed by his words, she protested, “How can I fall in love with him when I’m in love with you, you foolish man! Don’t you know I love you and desire you? You’re the one who’s chilled our closeness all these months. Let Windrider have Bonnie and Bonnie have Windrider—I don’t care,” she snapped. “If I had my wish, we would still be in our cabin and it would be five years ago when we were happy and free,” she blurted out, revealing her secret desires.

  He seized her shoulders when she tried to move away from him. Lifting her quivering chin, he looked deeply into her misty eyes. “If I had my wish, it would match yours. Then I would have another chance to make our life work in your world before I faced such agonizing choices in mine,” he disclosed in an emotion-laced tone.

  Rebecca dropped her face to his brawny chest and sobbed. His embrace tightened around her, but he said nothing. Both knew she needed to release the pain of many months, many quarrels, and the many demands that had been made on her. She had tried so hard to be strong and patient. Now she desperately wanted to beg him to take her and run away, but she could not. There were too many ghosts between them. He was a warrior, and his destiny was calling to him. She could not destroy him. She knew he could not become a white man under any circumstances. It would be cruel and selfish of her to demand such destructive changes.

  When she brought her tears under control, she vowed against his thundering heart, “I love you and I need you, Bright Arrow. Please return safely from this quest.” She lifted her tear-stained face and pleaded earnestly, “Please convince them to let us remain together. No man could ever bring me the happiness and fulfillment you do. You must believe that I love you with all my heart and soul. No matter what they say, you are my destiny, my very reason for living.”

  Bright Arrow imprisoned her face between his hands and lowered his mouth to sear hers. Her arms embraced him fiercely as she feverishly responded to his kisses. Both were very much aware that this could be their last night together for a long time. They knew that they would have to battle to remain together. If Fate tried to separate them, they would have to find a way to outwit it. Slowly they sank to the earth and there made passionate love, oblivious to the hard ground beneath them. This night their love was at first savage and urgent, then gentle and leisurely. Bright Arrow now had the answers and encouragement he needed to carry out his vital mission. And Rebecca had received answers and encouragement in return.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Minutes after dawn lightened the sky, Bright Arrow and Windrider mounted their horses and rode away. As if nothing unusual were taking place, Sucoora began her morning tasks without paying any attention to the departing warriors. Rebecca observed them until they were out of sight, then turned to find Bonnie standing just behind her. Her bright blue eyes had shifted from the backs of the men to Rebecca’s curious gaze.

  “How long will they be away?” Bonnie asked casually, rubbing her sleepy eyes and stretching languidly. She was shorter than Rebecca, and she was forced to lift her chin to see the other woman’s face. Wisps of silver and blond hair had escaped her braid during the night; now they moved gently in an early morning breeze that was rare for this time of year. Rebecca noted that her mussed state made her even more appealing.

  She recalled Bright Arrow’s claim that this white captive was the answer to Windrider’s sacred dream. She didn’t laugh or smile, but wondered silently, what if there were some mystical truth to visions? Surely this coincidence was eerie and thought provoking. If Windrider did choose Bonnie over her, it didn’t necessarily mean she was fated to remain in Bright Arrow’s life-circle, as he had confidently alleged. If such things came to pass, where would she be? What would happen to her? She panicked. Without Bright Arrow and her children, Windrider was her only hope. Could she allow Bonnie to replace her—even if a powerful spirit desired it and had arranged it? Perhaps mischievous, envious spirits interfered too much in the lives and fates of mortals!

  Nevertheless, Rebecca couldn’t shut out memories of the passionate hours and tender words she had shared with Bright Arrow under the stars and moon the night before. She loved him and needed him desperately, and she despised
the differences and animosity that were forcing them apart. He had just ridden off, and she was already lonely and afraid. Windrider was handsome and virile, displaying immense prowess on the battlefield and in passion. But could he ever take Bright Arrow’s place in her heart and life? She raged at her inability to influence or change the harsh demands on them, and she prayed her love would be given the opportunity to win the favor and power he was seeking.

  Bonnie shook her arm and inquired anxiously, “Rebecca, are you all right? Is something wrong? Is he riding into danger?”

  Rebecca met her worried gaze and smiled faintly. “What did you say, Bonnie? I was thinking about something else. Come, let’s freshen up and collect firewood.” She headed for the forest, knowing the rest of the camp wouldn’t be astir for a while longer.

  “Is he coming back?” Bonnie ventured as she hurried to tag along. She had witnessed Rebecca’s haunted gaze and visible trembling.

  “Which one?” Rebecca asked, using the time to master her turbulent emotions and to furtively study this oddly cheerful prisoner.

  “Your love,” Bonnie replied. “Are you worried about him?” She pushed aside the wisps that were dancing in her eyes.

  Rebecca sighed heavily, then replied, “Yes, my love will return. But only the Great Spirit knows what the future will hold for us.”

  Bonnie observed her unpredictable friend as she splashed cool water on her face. She realized that Rebecca could have been speaking of either man. “Rebecca, will you marry Windrider if things don’t work out for you and Bright Arrow?” she boldly questioned, unable to keep the distressing words from spilling forth.

  Rebecca stared at her. “Can I ask you a question just as private?” She continued before Bonnie could give or refuse permission, “Does it matter to you this soon after your arrival?”

  Bonnie flushed a bright red, and Rebecca grinned and teased, “Is that a blush of modesty, or guilt?”

  Bonnie stammered, “I… I don’t know… what… to say.”

  ‘The truth between us will be fine,” Rebecca responded directly. Having brought along a drying blanket, Rebecca decided to ease her tension with a stimulating swim and proceeded to strip off her garments and drop them to the grassy bank. Then she continued, “After all, I did tell you all sorts of things about me and my life. I take it you’re fascinated by Windrider? You won’t mind being his slave?”

  Bonnie’s blush darkened, and her respiration quickened. She lowered her head to think. Suddenly Rebecca recalled the first time she had met Bright Arrow. She had been drawn to him instantly; she had been unable to resist him, for he had mesmerized and bewitched her. And she had been his lowly and helpless captive! The attraction between them had been so powerful and magical that it had overcome all of her fears and all of their differences. Love at first glance was a definite reality. She had not meant to doubt or to make fun of Bonnie’s feelings.

  “You shouldn’t be embarrassed, Bonnie,” Rebecca consoled her. “The first time I saw Bright Arrow I wanted him beyond all thoughts of freedom or pride. When our eyes met, nothing existed but him and me. It’s crazy and wild, but some feelings can’t be prevented, or explained. If Windrider affects you that same way there’s nothing wrong with loving him and wanting him. And don’t tell yourself it can’t happen this quickly or against your will,” she laughingly warned as she dove into the water.

  As Bonnie gave those astonishing words careful contemplation, a conflicting thought came to Rebecca’s mind. The attraction had been mutual between her and Bright Arrow. She shouldn’t encourage Bonnie to have false dreams and hopes about Windrider. Love was a twoway path, or else it was an agonizing trail. She fretted over Windrider’s amorous feelings, for she didn’t want him to make a painful journey. It wasn’t fair to give him false hopes and dreams either. If he truly loved her as Bright Arrow did, one or the other of them was eventually going to be hurt by her loss. Should she discourage his pursuit? Should she aid Bonnie’s love quest? Was it wicked to help cultivate seeds of desire for Bonnie in Windrider’s body and mind? What if her daring ruse worked, and then she lost Bright Arrow? Fate was a dangerous Muse to trick. She decided it would be best to allow Fate to chose its own path.

  Bonnie watched the graceful Rebecca until she swam near the bank. Holding on to a grass clump with most of her body submerged, she swayed back and forth deep in thought. “But Windrider’s pursuing you,” Bonnie argued to obtain her attention, as if Rebecca had already advised her to chase the stalwart warrior.

  Rebecca looked up into Bonnie’s concerned expression. She inhaled deeply and tried to get out of this difficult situation. “Windrider needs another wife, and I might be available soon. We’ve known each other for years. We’re close friends. And Bright Arrow is worried over my safety and happiness if his tribe continues to reject me. It’s a very complicated problem. Fate can be sly, Bonnie, even cruel. Who’s to say which of us will make Windrider the better wife? Perhaps Windrider’s feelings for me are controlled by friendship, or loneliness, or physical attraction. In time, anything can happen.”

  Bonnie sighed heavily. “You’re right about one thing; this matter is wild and crazy and complex!” she declared tensely. “I don’t understand what I’m feeling or why. I’m a prisoner here! My people were slain! Yet…” She stopped and inhaled deeply once more.

  “Yet what?” Rebecca probed inquisitively as she left the water.

  “I don’t feel like a prisoner whose life or chastity is in danger! It’s strange, but I feel safe here. I’m perfectly calm and relaxed, and I’m happy! It’s because of you, Rebecca. I can’t imagine what would have happened if you hadn’t been here to help me, to be my friend and teacher. I wasn’t happy with my father,” she confessed. “He was mean and brutal. Many times he beat me for what he called disobedience, or for glancing at some man. I was more his slave than I am Windrider’s. I had to wait on him hand and foot. He wouldn’t let me have friends or be alone with any man. He said he would kill me if I did that, and he would have! Sometimes I hated him. I used to dream of running away, but I didn’t have any money or any place to go. It’s so peaceful here. I don’t see these Indians as my enemies.” Her expression was one of consternation.

  “What happened on the raid?” Rebecca questioned gingerly, drying her body and hair as the younger woman spoke.

  “You were right again. Three Indians came to our camp to trade. The soldiers gave them whiskey and got them drunk. When they passed out, they tied them up and stole all their possessions. They said the Indians would have trailed us and attacked while we were sleeping. They said we would all have been murdered and scalped. They took the Indians into the woods, telling us they were going to tie them up and leave them there until we were out of their reach. But I suspected they killed them, for two of the soldiers had blood on their clothes when they returned. That next night, Windrider and his men attacked us and killed everyone but me. They burned the wagons and captured the horses. I was hiding under a wagon behind some supplies. When it started to burn, I raced for the woods. That’s when I fell and hurt my arm. Windrider rescued me and brought me to his camp. Here, let me brush and braid your hair,” she offered, needing to be busy.

  Rebecca wrapped the blanket around her wet form. She had astutely noted that Bonnie had used the word “rescued” instead of “captured.” She smiled as she presented the brush and her back to Bonnie. “You almost sound as if you’re repeating my experience, Bonnie. Except… except one of the soldiers had dragged me into the woods and was trying to rape me when Bright Arrow killed him and claimed me as his war prize. You’re lucky Windrider’s Cheyennne. I was taken to the Sioux camp, and they hate whites. Their chief and council have ordered all whites from their camp; they don’t want our blood to mingle with theirs. Bright Arrow’s trying to get them to change their vote against me, but it’s a losing battle.” She closed her eyes tightly against her anguish.

  “But you have children. You must have been his… woman a long time,” she protested a
s she briefly halted her work.

  “We met in June of 1796. He was banished for refusing to trade me or send me away. We lived as trappers in the wilderness, but it didn’t work. You can’t make a white trapper out of a Sioux warrior. He wants to go home; he needs to return to his old life. It’s a difficult choice, Bonnie—me or his destiny. I’m supposed to stay here until we’re certain there’s no hope for us. Our children will go home with Bright Arrow. Under Indian law, children belong to the father and his tribe. Besides, I couldn’t take care of them alone.” Rebecca thanked Bonnie and rose to don her garments, feeling slightly refreshed.

  “Wouldn’t Windrider take them?” Bonnie asked softly, touched by this bittersweet love story. She began to brush and braid her own hair.

  “He can’t. It would cause conflict between the Oglalas and the Cheyenne. If I lose Bright Arrow, I also lose my children. Damnit!” she exploded in rage. “It isn’t fair! I’ve never done anything to them! Why must they ruin my life and happiness? At least with Windrider, there won’t be any problems or demands,” she unwittingly blurted.

  “How can you marry him when you love Bright Arrow?”

  “Don’t you mean, how can I marry him knowing you love him and want him?” she retorted in unnatural spite.

  “No, Rebecca, that isn’t what I meant,” she replied sadly.

  Tears filled Rebecca’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Bonnie. I didn’t mean that. It’s just so hard to understand and accept losing him. I will promise you one thing—I won’t marry Windrider if he doesn’t love me.”

  “What about your feelings?” Bonnie sympathetically entreated.

  “My feelings?” Rebecca echoed dreamily. “Sometimes feelings have to come second to survival or peace of mind. Windrider is a handsome and virile man. He’s kind and gentle, and he’s a good provider. He makes me laugh and forget my pain for a time. He’s been there when I needed a shoulder to cry on or someone strong to lean on. He’s honest and dependable. He’s helped me and Bright Arrow many times. He’s brave, and he’s a very famous warrior. Truthfully, I find him desirable. In time, perhaps I could learn to love him.” Rebecca paused. “We need wood for a breakfast fire.”