Love after Marriage

by Chandra, Bhagya

  Vivek interrupted him. “Good, at least you understand that. Deepak, you stayed with her for about ten days after the wedding; what is your take on this? Do you want to end this relationship or…?” He wanted to ask if Deepak had any interest at all. “The ball is in your court now.”

  “Vivek, I mentioned this to Roshni as well that I needed some time to digest all that happened.” He got up from the sofa and took a couple of steps, then turned to Vivek and Vaishali. “Yes, I was not sure of arranged marriages, I was apprehensive, but if I went looking for a girl, I would not find anyone better than her!”

  Vivek and Vaishali exchanged looks, thinking, At least there is some hope.

  “Correct me if I’m wrong, you seem to have developed some liking for her, whatever the reasons, is this true?” Vivek asked Deepak, a very blatant question.

  Deepak acknowledged that he definitely valued her for all her qualities. He continued, “I definitely did not make a decision like her to separate or divorce, but now…will she continue with me as her husband? She does not confide in me or respect me – she did say this in anger – but she was very clear on this.”

  He sat next to Vivek. “And I talked with her before I left. We discussed a few things; I apologized to her and asked her for some time.”

  Vivek and Vaishali waited to hear her response.

  “She mentioned at the end, ‘Time is a good healer. Let’s wait and watch what is in store for us!’ For a moment I was relieved that she may be open if I made all attempts. What do you think?” He was genuine when he asked this question to Vivek and Vaishali.

  Vaishali responded, “Deepak bhai saab, Roshni is wounded at this time. She does not want to listen to anything you say, and I agree…give her some time.”

  “I agree. Her wounds are very raw at this time. Anything you say now will be a wash. By the way, just checking, did you call them and inform you arrived safely?” enquired Vivek.

  “Yes, I did. I talked with Sashank bhaiya.”

  “Did you talk to Roshni?” asked Vivek.

  “Yes, for a couple of minutes, she hung up after a couple of minutes.”

  It was already 7:30 p.m. “Let’s leave this here, and Deepak, you need to come up with a plan to deal with this, very soon before it is too late,” Vivek said, assuring Deepak of their help, if needed.

  Deepak listened.

  “Roshni pushed the ball into your court. She is not interested in playing this game anymore. It is up to you to establish yourself and bring her back in your life…if you are interested,” Vaishali added.

  Vivek agreed with Vaishali, and Deepak shook his head. He understood.

  “Deepak, by the way, some news for you; Karen has given her two weeks’ notice and is leaving. She is going to her boyfriend who lives in the Boston area! Does that have an effect on you?” Vivek said sarcastically.

  Vivek continued his dialogue, “It is easy to get infatuated, but accepting somebody as your life partner is different. Arranged marriages can be successful.” He got lost in thought and stopped abruptly.

  Deepak knew Vivek and Vaishali had an arranged marriage. They had their share of arguments, but now they were a happy couple.

  It was dinner time, and Deepak ordered pizza. He gave them the parcel that Vivek’s parents sent and also the shawl and kurta. He explained to them that the shawl and kurta were purchased in Jammu as a gift, and he further elaborated and explained how thoughtful Roshni was in getting these for them and his other family members. He said it with respect and pride.

  Chapter 9

  Roshni’s Trials and Tribulations

  It was Sunday morning, and Deepak had left the previous night. Roshni had not woken up yet. Sashank was concerned for her and sent Kaki to check on her. Roshni was all right; she lazed on the bed, the sun shining brightly and bringing in a ray of hope. Roshni reaffirmed to herself the promise she had to fulfill and got up. She went to the bathroom, scooped water with her hands and rinsed her mouth, then she splashed fresh water on her face. She looked into the mirror, wiping her face with a towel – the affirmation came back to her – and with hope, she walked down to the kitchen.

  As things returned to normal in the Vermas’ residence, a major change was that all the family was at the dining table during meals. Deepak had initiated this, and now it was Roshni’s job to foster and nurture this habit. Deepak called in the evening to communicate that he had arrived safely, but Roshni showed no interest in talking to him.

  Days passed, and Roshni became more comfortable living there and dealing with Sashank and Akash. Kaki played her part in helping Roshni and the brothers understand each other. Roshni took maximum advantage and made every effort to understand these two brothers – a step forward in fulfilling her promise.

  Roshni quickly became familiar with the household routine. Sashank woke up in the morning and, after his morning chores, did yoga for a few minutes. After his shower he did pooja and prayers for a few minutes, read the newspaper or watched the news on TV, then had breakfast and a second cup of chai. Some days Akash joined him, but most days, he ate by himself. Sashank left for work by 9 a.m. and returned by 5:30 p.m. After chai and evening snacks, he went for a walk and watched TV in the evening after dinner. Weekends were slightly different, and Sashank, in addition to his walks and yoga, went grocery shopping at Sabzi Mandi and bought vegetables and fruits. He did this once a week with either Lakshmi or Kaki and seemed to enjoy this chore.

  Akash woke up at around 7 a.m. He left for work between 8 and 8:30 after breakfast and chai. He came back around 6 p.m. He held a decent position at an accounting firm and was compensated very well. He also contributed to help with family expenditures. After he returned from work, he left within half an hour to attend a spiritual discourse or meeting. He came home late and took his dinner alone since everybody else would have retired for the night. He kept to himself, never interacting much with the others. Most of his friends were married, and he didn’t socialize with them, having nothing in common. He kept himself busy reading books. The only expenditures for Akash in addition to paying Sashank every month were his conveyance and the purchase of spiritual books. He had great collection in his room.

  It became obvious to Roshni that these brothers were quiet, and there was some sadness in the family. Both brothers earned decent salaries, so there was no dearth for finances. Kaki helped manage the house well with Lakshmi, so housework was taken care of. Kaki was busy with cooking, and Lakshmi came in the morning and was busy with her chores – sweeping the front yard, sweeping and mopping the house, cleaning dishes and washing clothes. Lakshmi helped with chopping vegetables, making the dough for chapathis, and similar work to assist Kaki.

  However, both brothers appeared sad and depressed. They never opened up very easily and especially not with Roshni. She was new in the house, and she never expected them to be friendly with her. Each of them did their own routine activities with little or no interaction with others. There were a couple of times when Roshni tried to interact; Sashank at least talked to her, but Akash definitely was not interested in any conversations with her. It was very quiet around the house even with everybody present.

  Roshni grew up with her father, and Rahim chacha helped with household chores, but the house was vibrant, always full of energy and happiness. So this was a challenge for Roshni; trying to find out why these two brothers felt dejected and change them to be more accepting of the circumstances and be cheerful.

  Roshni gave this a little thought and came up with a plan for her first try.

  She participated in activities with both brothers to interact with them. She liked to do yoga, so she convinced Sashank to let her join him for yoga. When possible, she went with him for walks and to the market for grocery shopping. Roshni took over the pooja room activities, and this gave Sashank extra time to spend with her during pooja and morning prayers. Gradually she made Sashank more comfortable so he talked to her, spent time with her, and they discussed various topics.

  Th
ere were several occasions when he snarled at her in anger and asked her not to interfere, but Roshni was persistent. They argued several times. She felt awful and dejected, went to her room, stayed up all night crying, but never gave up. She was demeaned and derogatory remarks were made again and again by Sashank. She was asked to go away to her father’s house a few times, but Roshni tolerated everything to keep her promise.

  There were times she felt like running away to her father, questioning him for why he chose Deepak to be her husband, wanting to discuss Sashank and his behavior, but she never did. She never discussed it with Deepak either and suffered internally. The only outlet for her was to cry in her room, and she spent many sleepless nights. All the thoughts and conversations haunted her. She was worried that if she communicated this to Babuji, he could not withstand this, and…what if something happened to him? He was her only succor and guide at this time, and she could not afford to lose him.

  Roshni was persistent. She was after Sashank and tried different options to get closer to him, and finally she started to see some light at the end of the tunnel. Sashank was a nice person at heart, but past experiences made him react harshly. Subsequently, he opened up slowly to Roshni and let her participate in more activities around the house; both of them watched TV news or programs together and discussed those shows or news. They argued on certain topics because both had different opinions, but it was all in a friendly mood. Sashank became more tolerant of her and apologized to her for his rude behavior.

  Since Deepak had initiated family lunches and dinners, she insisted that Sashank and Akash continue with this. With little hesitation Sashank agreed, but Akash preferred to eat alone after his return from a meeting or temple visit. Over time, with a few conversations with Akash, Roshni swayed him to have an early dinner with the family and then go out. Kaki did not have to stay up late, and Lakshmi was able to leave early.

  Kaki, Sashank and Lakshmi interacted more with Roshni. Roshni carried so much positive energy; everybody liked her and felt very elated around her. She made everybody laugh, and the environment was jovial, and they felt relaxed. Sashank started to treat her as his daughter and became very caring and affectionate towards her.

  Akash still had a few reservations. He ate with the others, but that was the extent of his participation with the family. Once Roshni won over Sashank, her next challenge was Akash. Akash noticed his older brother change and become more cheerful, especially when Roshni was around him. This triggered a self-introspection for him – was he being very rigid and adamant, could he be flexible and welcome people into his life, would people tolerate him?

  Roshni spent more time with Akash. Occasionally she went with him to the temples or discourses. They discussed various topics, and he began to like her company. Of course, similar to Sashank, she faced opposition from Akash, but Roshni was used to dealing with Sashank, and she used the same tactics. If these did not work, she would try new tactics on him.

  She swayed Akash to watch the spiritual channels on TV at home; Sashank also participated in these discussions. Gradually, she involved Sashank, Akash and even Kaki into these discussions, and Akash was elated. He was never aware everybody in his family was also interested in spiritualism; they participated and discussed these topics together. Kaki always gave her elderly perspective, and Sashank gave input based on his experiences. It was all a healthy environment.

  Akash treated Roshni like his little sister and started opening up to her. He’d made that comment at the time of their wedding and now he began to prove it. When necessary, he volunteered to accompany her to other activities. On a few occasions, he volunteered to drop her off at work, and Roshni introduced him to her colleagues, and he seemed very comfortable around them. This was a big change in his personality.

  So gradually in a couple of months’ time, Roshni won over Sashank’s and Akash’s hearts. Sashank and Akash respected her, understood her, and were friendlier with her. They opened up to her more without any inhibitions. The atmosphere was livelier in the house. Sashank and Akash smiled more and were cheerful, and there was more family time either at the dining table or watching TV or movies. Deepak called infrequently, but she tried to avoid him; she knew her limits. Kaki was very happy to notice these changes in the house. She was one witness who saw the good and bad times in this family.

  On a few occasions all three went out to dinner or lunch. Both Sashank and Akash saw the other side of a woman’s personality…so caring, so full of love and affection, always in a jubilant mood, very compromising and never demanding. This was just the opposite of what they had experienced with their older sister-in-law. Nirmala always exhibited a selfish motive. Overall there was a great change; it was no longer a house but a home for Sashank and Akash.

  However, on several occasions, Roshni felt that both these brothers felt lonely in spite of all that was going on. Hmm, she thought to herself, they need a wife in their lives!

  Prashant and other colleagues at work noticed these positive changes in Sashank. He was happier and more joyful; he interacted with others more frequently and always had a smiling face. The same was true with Akash. Things were going well at Sashank’s house. Sashank updated Prashant about Roshni quite often…so often that Prashant did not feel the necessity to visit Roshni.

  Roshni on the other hand was depressed and often felt miserable, and she wept quietly in her room. A question constantly bothered her – why couldn’t she have a happy married life like other girls? She was very aware of the drama she played here as Deepak’s wife and a daughter-in-law and was aware of her limits. She reflected on the past, her conversations with Deepak haunted her periodically, and she became very dejected.

  She reconciled herself to the fact that whatever happened, there was a reason, and it was in her best interest to accept this.

  ~ ~ ~

  It was the end of February, and things gradually improved with Sashank and Akash. Akash spent more time at home with everybody, and both brothers became more accepting of Roshni and other women around them. They became more patient and tolerant of people around them.

  It had been about two months since Roshni’s wedding, so Prashant decided to take Roshni for a couple of days to his house. He came home one Thursday evening and was delighted to see the changes in the family and how Roshni was working hard to fulfill her promise. He was very pleased and asked Sashank if he could take Roshni with him for a couple of days. Sashank agreed but was unhappy…Roshni had had such an impact on the entire family, and they would miss her.

  Sashank put his hand around her shoulders and looked at Prashant. “This girl has done magic in this house. Look at us.” He pointed towards Akash and himself. “Have we ever been this happy before? Not in the last few years, at least. She has had such a great influence on us,” Sashank said and smiled.

  He hugged Roshni and gently whispered, “Thank you, Roshni bete.”

  Prashant was glad to hear this from Sashank and praised Roshni for her sincere attempts to bring this family together. However, he began to suspect that Roshni was not happy. Outwardly she appeared to be cheerful, but internally, there was a struggle. Something was bothering her. He wanted to find out if it had to do with her marriage. He also noticed that Deepak had not called as frequently, and this concerned him. He decided to talk to Roshni, but not in Sashank’s house. He would wait until they got to his house.

  They were ready to leave when Roshni said, “Sashank bhaiya and Akash bhaiya, promise me that you will come home early and have dinner together with Kaki and will take care of each other.”

  Both brothers smiled at Roshni and promised her that they would behave well. She smiled and was happy to hear this promise from them, but somewhere deep within her heart, she was sorrowful to leave them. She had become very close to these two brothers. She recognized that Sashank and Akash were nice people, caring and affectionate; however, all this love and affection were clouded, and they refused to bring it to the surface and exhibit it. They were very kind and
compassionate, but this was suppressed. She was relieved these qualities sprouted again in these two brothers. How she wished Deepak was there to watch these changes!

  ~ ~ ~

  Babuji seriously suspected that Roshni was not happy. It was Friday, and Roshni came home very tired. Babuji invited her for chai with him. She joined him but was very quiet. Prashant took this opportunity to probe into her marital life and her relationship with Deepak. He started asking a few questions. She answered a few but tried to avoid some; this gave Prashant more hints. She was so tired and agitated, and Babuji asked her more questions about Deepak, and this did not go well. At one point she yelled at her babuji, “Babuji, what are you trying to ask? I am so tired; can you please leave me alone,” and she walked away.

  Prashant was stunned. This probably was the first time she had done this to him, and his suspicion became stronger. He let her go and decided that he would engage in this conversation when she was calmer.

  ~ ~ ~

  The next day was Saturday, and Roshni was in a better mood. She joined Babuji for breakfast, and they talked casually.

  “Roshni, today is Saturday. Will Deepak call you?” Prashant asked.

  Roshni looked at him. “I don’t think he will call here, Babuji. You heard Sashank bhaiya mention that he was busy with his new project.”

  “So what? You are his wife. He should still find time to call you, don’t you think so?” replied Prashant.

  Roshni blurted out, “Not necessary, why should he call me?”

  “Roshni bete, what is the matter? Is everything all right? Are you happy?” Prashant tried to calm her.

  Roshni tried to move away from her father. “Yes, Babuji, everything is all right. I am happy. Why do you ask this question so many times?”