Love after Marriage

by Chandra, Bhagya

  Both Vivek and Vaishali were speechless; they were also concerned for Roshni.

  “I asked her in Lonawala, and she opened up to me and wept like a small baby. I’m glad at least she discussed this with me, and later–”

  “Later what?” interrupted Vivek.

  “I opened up myself regarding my older bhabhi and the impact it had on all of us brothers. I also mentioned the way I reacted to her on the wedding night was because of these preconceived notions and apologized to her.”

  Vivek and Vaishali were relieved to hear that he’d sincerely apologized to her.

  Deepak continued, “I know she’s lonely and carrying a huge burden of sorrow. I wish I could help her. I really wish I was with her to share some of this pain, and… I can’t imagine how she endures being plagued with this sadness.”

  He became silent and was lost in thought.

  Vivek interrupted his silence. “Deepak, I think you should go to India. Now that she is ready to go to Bangalore for a project for a few months, you should take this opportunity. Let her go to Bangalore; you go and stay with her for a few months. This way there will be nobody to interfere. Spend time with each other, try to understand each other, be there for one another, and hopefully, she will start developing the same feelings you have for her.”

  Vaishali wiped her tears and agreed. “When will you go? How long do you plan on staying there? What about your job here? There are a lot of things you need to think about before you decide on this.”

  It was late, and Vaishali decided to warm up the food so they could continue to talk about it during dinner. Vivek and Deepak helped Vaishali get the table ready.

  At the dining table, Deepak mentioned that Roshni was going to Bangalore in August. Vaishali was in the Human Resource department at the bank and said, “That might work in your favor, Deepak.”

  Both Deepak and Vivek looked at her keenly.

  “If you can plan everything here, you could leave in September or October for three or four months. This would give you enough time to talk to your boss and, if necessary, quit your current job. You can always come back in December or January and find a job for yourself. The only thing is to make sure you have enough financial security while in India,” she suggested.

  Vivek added, “Because you have to pay for your condo, don’t forget!”

  “Yeah, I know. I think I’m okay financially – paying for the house and me going to India – but I need to verify that,” Deepak said.

  Deepak also told them that he had initiated paperwork for her immigration. Deepak thought for a few minutes. “Actually, that might work in my favor. I will apply for her immigration soon, so she could get her green card in November or December, and both of us could come back together.”

  “Deepak, just keep in mind that it may take some time for you to find a job because of the economy here. Be prepared to have good financial security because Roshni will come back with you,” Vivek suggested.

  “Yeah, I will look into it and plan. Vaishali, I like your idea of going in September or October. This will give me sufficient time to plan ahead. Thank you!”

  Deepak certainly felt relieved after this conversation and was excited to go back and spend time with Roshni.

  All of them agreed to keep this a secret and that he would arrive in India and surprise everybody.

  They ate sweets from India, and then Deepak left for home. Deepak thanked Vivek and Vaishali for being there for him to listen and support him.

  The evening had been productive, and he’d come up with a solution. Now his task was to apply for Roshni’s immigration as soon as possible and look into his savings so he could plan accordingly. He decided to call Roshni on Saturday morning US time. Being relieved of the stress and his decision made, he slept well that night.

  ~ ~ ~

  Deepak woke up Saturday morning, and the first thing he decided was to call Roshni after his morning chores. He made chai and dialed India. Akash picked up the phone, and after a brief chat, Akash called Roshni.

  Roshni enquired if he got some rest after the hectic trip to India. He wanted to carry on a casual conversation with her. He looked at the clock, and it was 8 p.m. in Mumbai.

  “Did you have your dinner?”

  “Not yet, we will soon. Sashank bhaiya and didi went out. We will have dinner together after they return.”

  Deepak smiled. “Roshni, I was so happy to see that change in the house, the family having dinner together. Thank you so much for this.”

  Roshni was quiet.

  “Roshni, what happened? You are so quiet. Is everything all right?”

  “Yeah, just thinking,” she replied.

  “What are you thinking?”

  “Those early days when you left for the US and Sashank bhaiya’s reactions–” Roshni stopped abruptly. She did not want to think of those days. Tears came to her eyes, and Deepak could only imagine his brothers may have caused much grief to her.

  “Did they trouble you? You never mentioned anything to me, Roshni?”

  Roshni nodded her head, thinking, What could he do from the US even if I tell him? Secondly, why would I tell him when he is so unreliable?

  Deepak realized she was on mute; he continued, “Roshni, what happened?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Roshni, please tell me. Did they hurt you?” he asked, being very concerned.

  “What does it matter now? Both of them recognized their negativities and changed; that is what matters today, and–” She wanted to say something but held back.

  Deepak sensed this. “Roshni, and what? You wanted to say something!”

  Roshni choked and became speechless.

  Deepak suspected that Roshni was crying. He was patient. “Roshni, please tell me what happened? Is everything all right?”

  Roshni wiped her tears. “Yeah, everything is fine. It’s just the old memories came back, and…”

  Deepak heard this and became quiet for a few seconds too. Both of them held the phone, but neither spoke. Only their hearts spoke. Deepak was able to hear the pain in her heart, and she guessed he was concerned for her.

  Roshni heard Kusum didi call her for dinner. “Deepak, I think Bhaiya and didi are here. I have to go.”

  “Okay, take care, Roshni. I will call you tomorrow.”

  “Tomorrow!” she asked, puzzled.

  “Yeah, why?”

  “We just talked. Why do…I mean, there is nothing much to talk about,” she said.

  Deepak thought, Oh yes, Roshni, there is a lot to talk about, but he did not want to say anything more at this time. He was worried this may lead to an argument, so abruptly they said good-bye and hung up.

  ~ ~ ~

  The next day was Sunday morning in India and Saturday evening in the US. Roshni had been sad the previous evening when Deepak called; he wanted to check if she was all right. He dialed Roshni’s cell.

  Roshni never expected a call that early. She was surprised but answered the phone. “Hello?”

  “Hello, Roshni, it’s me, Deepak.”

  Roshni certainly wondered why he called again. “Deepak, are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. How are you? You sounded down and unhappy this morning.”

  Both were concerned for each other, but Roshni did not want to talk to him any longer than necessary. Deepak continued his conversation with her.

  “Roshni, did Sashank bhaiya call Satish bhaiya?”

  “No, not yet.”

  “Is he going to call or no?” Deepak asked.

  “I don’t know. I would be sad if he didn’t call Satish bhaiya,” Roshni expressed.

  “Yeah, but who is to convince Sashank bhaiya?” he said. Then within a few seconds, he suggested, “Roshni, you have done so much for everybody; why don’t you talk to him about this as well?”

  She possessed the talent to put everybody at ease.

  “I planned on talking to him in a couple of days if he did not talk to Satish bhaiya.”

  “Good, I hope thi
s gets resolved,” Deepak said.

  Roshni nodded. She was confident she could rationalize with Sashank bhaiya but did not want to say anything to Deepak. Both of them hung up after a few minutes. Thinking about his recent trip, Deepak chuckled.

  ~ ~ ~

  It had been over a week; Roshni called Nirmala and checked on Satish’s health. Satish was doing better, but during this conversation, Roshni realized that Satish was sad. He felt strongly about talking to Sashank. Nirmala had called last time with a hope that she could get Sashank to talk to Satish, but that didn’t happen.

  During the conversation, Nirmala revealed that they’d had several arguments in the last few months. Satish thought about his brothers a lot and wanted to apologize for what he had done. She personally felt that this could have been one reason for his stroke and asked Roshni if she could help.

  Roshni wanted to accomplish this task before she left for Bangalore.

  Sunday after Deepak’s call, the entire family was in the family room, chatting happily over the day’s events. This had become their routine. Sashank enquired about the call, and Roshni took this opportunity to talk to him.

  “Sashank bhaiya, I talked to Nirmala bhabhi,” Roshni said.

  Sashank looked at her instantly with wide open eyes. “How is Satish doing?”

  Roshni explained her conversation with Nirmala, and then she continued, “Bhaiya, can you please talk to him one time? He wants to talk to you. Maybe he wants to apologize to you for all that happened. Please talk to him.”

  Sashank shook his head; he was not ready to talk to him. Kusum and Akash were helpless. Roshni came closer to him and knelt before him. She held his hand and very lovingly assured him, “Bhaiya, I know your feelings towards him and his family. You are angry with them, but this is not the time to express that anger.”

  She glanced over all three sitting there and continued, “When Deepak and I went to see him last week, not much conversation occurred between the brothers. He hugged Deepak and cried. He apologized to Deepak for not being there for him as a fatherly figure when Deepak needed him the most. He also mentioned that he was so self-centered and focused on his life and his family, he never paid attention to his siblings, who were young and dependent upon him.”

  Roshni gave Sashank all the details of the conversation Deepak and Satish had had. Sashank listened, and he became teary. The past came back to him: he and younger siblings suffering, they being thrown out, his father’s death…

  He wiped his tears and looked at Roshni. “Roshni bete, do you know how much this man ill-treated us, he and his wife? Babuji was mentally tortured several times, but he did not say a word. I was a witness to all that. How can I forgive him who treated his own father so badly? Akash and…and Deepak were so young. They needed the security after our father’s death, and h-he never cared! How rock hearted could he be? And his wife…she was mean, too arrogant and lacked common courtesy, but him. What had happened to him?”

  He had tears in his eyes. His face became red, and his nose was running. He took out his handkerchief and wiped his eyes and blew his nose. Kusum, Akash and Roshni all had moist eyes. He opened up everything to them and wept. He vented out his feelings. “I cannot forgive him,” Sashank said.

  Roshni gently rubbed his hand. “Bhaiya, if you cannot forgive him, then what is the difference between you and him?”

  Sashank looked at her. He did not understand what Roshni meant.

  “Bhaiya, yes, he and his wife behaved in the worst way with you all. They were rude, they kicked you all out, but that was the past. Today he is regretting it. His apology was sincere. I don’t think he wants anything more, bhaiya. He wants to apologize to you too; that is all!”

  Sashank did not respond.

  “You don’t have to go visit him, but at least as a human, you can talk to him. First listen to him and then decide if you want to forgive him or not. I won’t – for that matter, none of us will force you into doing anything you are not comfortable with. But please, talk to him, just one time,” she pleaded.

  Sashank listened to her.

  Roshni wiped his tears. “Bhaiya, I know it is difficult to forgive somebody who has caused much grief to you, but isn’t that the beauty of life? Babuji always said this to me: We need to grow above and forgive people if their apology is sincere and they are genuinely regretting it. We don’t have to associate with them, but if forgiving gives them joy and peace, so be it. Let them be happy.”

  She continued, “Deepak and I saw Satish bhaiya genuinely apologize to him. When he hugged and spoke to Deepak, it was obvious he felt relieved. Bhaiya, please help him in this healing process, both internally and physically. He needs it at this time.” Roshni rubbed his hands again and supported him.

  Sashank looked at Roshni and towards Kusum and Akash. They wiped their tears and nodded their heads in agreement.

  “Okay, Roshni, I will talk to him,” he said.

  Roshni was relieved. She immediately hugged Sashank bhaiya and thanked him. Kusum and Akash smiled and were happy. It was 8 p.m., and Roshni asked if she could call them, and he agreed.

  Nirmala picked up the phone, and Roshni conveyed to her that Sashank wanted to talk to Satish bhaiya. Nirmala was so excited she immediately took the phone to Satish.

  “Hello,” Sashank said.

  “Hello, Sashank,” Satish said.

  There was silence at both ends; both brothers became dumb.

  Sashank brought the telephone to his chest and became teary; something that he missed for a long time had come back to him with the sound of his brother’s voice. Satish had been a fatherly figure to all of them, but with Sashank, he was a brother and a close friend. He’d missed this relationship; he’d craved for it until Prashant came into his life and took that status. With Prashant gone, he had missed it, and now…it brought back the good old times to him. He could not control himself and wept quietly.

  Satish held the telephone and cried. He’d missed this voice, this tone, for several years. It brought back the good and bad thoughts to him. He needed this venting; he had to lessen his burden by apologizing to Sashank. This apology was too late, but as they say, “Better late than never.” Nirmala was next to him and consoled him. Satish had not yet recovered, and this stress…she was worried.

  There was no feeling any more, no sorrow, no heartache, just a dullness that lingered.

  After a few minutes, Satish said, “Sashank, how are you, mere bhai? So good to hear your voice.”

  Sashank was silent. He was having a hard time recovering from the shock of talking to Satish.

  “Sashank…Sashank…” Satish said and vented his feelings. Most of it was his apology and repentance for what he did to his brothers.

  Kusum and Akash stood next to Sashank, giving him support. He wept and listened to all that Satish said, nodding occasionally. Sashank was not talking, but Satish knew he was listening; this was the heart connection at work!

  Satish talked for several minutes and then said, “Sashank, please forgive me. I am ashamed, but…but what is shame between brothers?” He continued after a pause, “Thank you for talking to me. At least I feel relieved. I don’t care what happens to me now. I wanted to do this for so long, mere bhai. Please…if you can, please forgive me.”

  Roshni was at a distance, watching Sashank bhaiya. She became emotional. This was a very sensitive moment. Brothers reconnected after a long time – something that seemed unfathomable became real. Tears slowly trickled down her cheeks. Sashank listened and finally opened his mouth. “Satish, how are you?”

  Satish gave him a few details, and they talked for a few more minutes, and finally they hung up the phone.

  Sashank wept. It felt a piece of his heart that was lost came back to him; a feeling of support and security arose in him. He was glad he talked to Satish.

  It was apparent in the conversation that Satish carried a huge burden of guilt, and after this talk, he felt relieved. After the call, he wept and felt satisfied. As he gr
ew up and got married, Satish lost his identity and his roots; he became so self-centered, and he did not care for his father or brothers. Fortunately, he worked hard and did extremely well professionally, but somewhere in his heart, he felt lonely and depressed.

  Nirmala never understood this loneliness, and Satish’s ego did not permit him to approach Sashank and his brothers. He lived with this guilt for so long, and the time had come that he could not take it any longer. The stress built up, his work stress he could not ignore…and all these factors played havoc with him, and he ended up having a stroke.

  No one in the family asked Sashank about this conversation. It was important Satish talked and Sashank listened. Sashank was satisfied but said nothing.

  ~ ~ ~

  A couple of months passed. Deepak called Roshni regularly and talked to her. He was updated that Sashank and Satish had talked, and he was very pleased.

  In the meantime, Deepak noticed that over time their conversations got longer, and both he and Roshni spent more time talking to each other. Deepak contacted the lawyer and took care of the paperwork for Roshni’s immigration. He monitored his finances carefully, and he was confident that he could easily stay without a job for a year at least. It was the middle of August, and he hoped to talk to his boss at the end of August and give a month’s notice.

  Since Deepak’s company collaborated with a company in Bangalore, a couple from Bangalore had just arrived in the US for a three-month visit to work with the US team. Coincidentally, they were looking for a place to stay, and Vivek was approached. Vivek consulted Deepak to see if he was willing to rent out his apartment to this couple, and both concurred this was a great opportunity if the couple was willing to pay the rent.

  Everything was settled, and the couple agreed to occupy Deepak’s condo until his return. They agreed to pay the rent, which was the same as the mortgage payment for Deepak. Both parties agreed to certain terms regarding the use of Deepak’s furniture, beds, etc. Deepak was satisfied – some extra savings in his pocket.