When I Look to the Sky

by Barbara S. Stewart

  “When is it?”

  “September 22nd, big fancy formal, black tie and gowns, blah, blah, blah,” she laughed.

  “I have a tux. I’d be happy to go with you.”

  “Oh, I couldn’t ask you to do that,” she laughed.

  “You didn’t,” he said.

  “Think about it before you really offer.” She laughed and told him, “It’s a bunch of schmoozing and butt kissing.”

  Andy was quiet a minute, and then said, “OK…”

  “OK what?”

  “I thought about it.”

  A week later, Andy’s phone rang; he looked at the caller ID. It was Geni, and he smiled.

  “Hey there,” she said. “Matthew called and talked to me about their plans to come home.”

  “I had the same call from Mrs. Matthew,” Andy laughed.

  “They’re trying to figure out the best flights and all that, but I’m sure Carlee told you the same thing. Anyway, as I was listening to them throw out options and ideas I had an idea of my own.”

  “Do I need to sit down?” Andy joked.

  “My idea is this - wherever they arrive, here or there, we could share them, if I’m not so bold inviting myself. If they come there first, they can fly home from here. My place is big enough that either option they choose, you can come here and stay so that you get more time with them too.”

  “I like that idea. Throw it out, I’m game for anything. I’ll have the whole camp week, as well,” Andy said, adding a little more water to Carlee’s seed.

  “What else did they tell you?” she asked, skirting right by Andy’s camp comment.

  “I think they’ve pinned down the week before Matthew goes back to school for the Tuscany trip. Carlee’s so excited. She wanted to see more of Italy when we were there, but I think she wanted to get back to London and Matthew more. When she said at the ball that she was bidding on that package I saw that look in her eyes!” Remembering Carlee running to the front of the room to get the voucher and go pay for it made him smile.

  “Matthew is too. So what kind of stuff do I pack for this camp thing?” she laughed.

  “I knew you would go. I think she did too. You won’t regret it, Geni. I promise.” He smiled when he said it, glad she was going. He liked her, enjoyed her company.

  “I’ll call Carlee,” she said.

  “Well, hello!” Carlee said when Geni called the next day.

  “I just wanted to run a couple ideas by you. Got a few minutes?”

  “I always have time for you!” Carlee said in a happy voice.

  “Have you made any decisions for your trip stateside?” Geni asked.

  “We’ll probably go to Papa’s first, get there Tuesday afternoon, and leave for camp Friday morning. After camp, we’ll head to Jacksonville for a few days, so we’ll be there two weeks. We’ll be back in London a couple days to repack, and then fly to Florence! I’ve been in touch with the owners of the apartment and the only other option that worked with Matthew’s schedule was Christmas, and we want to come home for Christmas.”

  “If it’s OK with y’all, I’ll meet you at Andy’s. I’ve already talked to him. After camp we’ll all head to Jacksonville. I just thought that would give us both as much time as possible with you… Andy agreed.”

  Geni was rambling on, but Carlee interrupted; “Wait… What?”

  “What, ‘what?’” Geni laughed.

  “We?”

  “Yes, ‘we’…” she laughed.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN ~ Geni Goes to Camp

  Getting everything ready for their trip, Matthew and Carlee put together albums of wedding pictures to give to their families as thank you gifts. They packed the things for camp and shipped the boxes to Andy’s.

  As Geni prepared for her journey, she felt more and more excited. She had dinner with her family the night before making her way south to Andy’s. Thomas and Brian were still in disbelief that she was actually going. They laughed and joked that they would never make eye contact with Carlee if she were talking about anything to do with camp.

  ~ ~ ~

  Matthew and Carlee arrived on Tuesday afternoon, and Andy was at the airport, waiting anxiously. Geni would be at the house when they arrived. Carlee saw him as she rounded the corner. Matthew grabbed her bag as she and Andy quickly made their way to each other. He hadn’t made a trip over yet, wanting to give the newlyweds time to begin their life. It had been almost three months since he’d seen her, and he couldn’t wait to get hold of her for a hug.

  “I sure have missed you,” he said as he wrapped her in his arms.

  “Right back at ya, Papa!” she said excitedly.

  “Matt,” he said as he hugged him.

  “Carlee, let me get a good look at you,” he said, holding her at arm’s length to get a good look. “Is it possible? Can you be even more beautiful than when I put you on the plane for the U.K. in May?”

  “Yes,” Matthew said, and laughed.

  “Married life suits you. Come on let’s go. Geni will be waiting for us,” Andy said grabbing her bag, but keeping his arm around Carlee’s shoulder. They hadn’t checked bags, so they were able to leave the airport quickly for home.

  Geni was there when they arrived. They went to Giovanna’s for pizza, and when they returned to Andy’s, they talked late into the evening. Carlee smiled at Geni’s excitement over camp. She could hardly wait for Friday morning.

  “Geni,” she said. “Why don’t you ride the bus down with me?”

  “I think I would like that!” she said, and then added, “I think,” and they all laughed.

  Later, after Geni and Matthew said good night, Carlee and Andy shared a few minutes alone. “Where are the things I shipped?” she asked. “I need to find something.”

  “In my office - come on,” he told her. She looked at the two boxes, remembering what was in them.

  “This one,” she said. Andy gave her scissors to cut the tape. She dug through stuff for camp and found an item wrapped in bubble wrap and peeked in a corner. Deciding she had the correct thing, she cut into it. It was wrapped in bright yellow paper with a green bow. “Because I love you,” she said as she handed it to him.

  “I already have the best gift you could ever give me,” he said hugging her. He ripped into the paper. It was a picture of the two of them from the wedding.

  “Carlee, this is beautiful. You look like an angel.”

  “And you look like a handsome devil!” she laughed.

  He took her hand and led her back to the living room, where he moved things around on the mantle. He placed the picture next to the one Matthew had given him for Christmas of the two of them and from camp. “Where I can see you every day,” he said. “I love it.”

  The next morning, Carlee and Matthew slipped off to Nanny and Pops’ for a big family breakfast. After their visit, they returned and started gathering and packing their things for camp.

  On Thursday, Kimmy, Lane, Jenna, and Maxx came for dinner. Carlee and Jenna, the ‘Sister Chick,’ cooked the meal, and talked and laughed like girls.

  They met at the Cancer Foundation office Friday morning. As always, Carlee wanted to arrive early – not wanting to miss a single moment. Matthew went with her to capture photos of the set-up for the embarking party. Carlee and Geni rode the bus with the kids, and Geni was glad she decided to do it. She loved the excitement.

  The program was ready. This year Carlee was talking about ‘A Hope Well.’ She’d emailed volunteers lists of supplies they needed and they gathered five-gallon buckets for the art project she had planned. There were also supplies donated for a cookie-decorating contest, Geni’s pet-project.

  “Hello caterpillars! Here we are again! To those of you who’ve never been here before, be ready for a week filled with hope! ‘Hope’ is my favorite word.” She paused to give them a moment to settle down.

  “Think about what ‘hope’ means to you. Sometimes you hope for a gift, sometimes a good grade. If you think about it, that’s what an
yone who has cancer, or loves someone who has cancer, does every day; they hope for the gift of a cure. They hope for the gift of more time, less sickness, no pain. They hope the grade they get from the doctor is good. Hope is defined as ‘a want for something.’ During this week, we want you to tell us, or show us what you hope. We’ll add your hopes to the Hope Wells you’ll be decorating. The wells will go to the Butterfly Ball next year to let those who attend know of the ‘hope’ this camp brings.”

  Matthew was running around capturing every moment in pictures. Andy and Geni stood in the back and observed.

  Andy looked, and as he suspected saw tears in Geni’s eyes. “I told you,” he said as he slipped his arm around her shoulder. A move Matthew didn’t miss.

  “Just wait,” he added.

  As Allison Mayheart took the stage, Carlee noticed the exchange between Andy and Geni, and added a hope to her list.

  “Caterpillars, I made my first trip out of the United States this spring! I went to London for a very special occasion. I wanted to share something from my trip with you. Matthew?” He nodded to her from the back of the room.

  “Many of you have been here before, and you know Miss Carlee. I’ve known her for a long time. And those who know her well know she’s shared her Papa and her boyfriend, Matthew, with us the last two summers. This spring, Miss Carlee became Mrs. Matthew Davis.”

  The lights dimmed, and a slide show from the wedding played. The last picture was one of Matthew and Carlee kissing. The kids all started oohing and giggling.

  Allison returned to the microphone as they all cheered. “Wasn’t that beautiful? Carlee has shared many gifts with us through the years. This year she is sharing her new mother-in-law with us. We’ll be adding some cooking activities and Ms. Geni is helping!”

  That evening at the camp fire, Andy got the kids singing. Carlee was running around gathering the supplies to make s’mores. Matthew was watching her, and Geni was watching him. She saw the love in Matthew’s eyes, and for the first time in a while, she was sad. She missed Tom, and she was glad she wasn’t home alone. She was still unsure about the whole camp thing, but she was willing to give it her best shot.

  Saturday was a fun day that included volley ball, kids in the pool swimming, and ping pong inside for those who couldn’t go outside. Matthew started a softball game, and that evening they watched the original version of the movie Toy Story inside, because it rained.

  Sitting back watching the movie with the kids, Geni was thinking about the day ahead. She’d picked a few sessions with the kids that she wanted to attend during the week; the first one was on Sunday morning. She wanted to get a feel for the experience. The cookie-baking would be Wednesday. Carlee and Alison were helping lead that activity and she was looking forward to it. But tonight she was enjoying the chaos. Later, she helped with the ‘round-up,’ getting the kids off to their cabins.

  With the kids tucked in for the night, Carlee found her way to Matthew. Sliding her hands up his chest, and around his neck, she pulled him closer to whisper in his ear. “Hey, handsome.”

  “Shh,” he joked, “my wife might hear you!”

  Carlee laughed, “Wanna sneak off in the woods and neck for five minutes?”

  “Make it ten and you got a deal…” He took her hand, but Andy walked over to where they were, and soon Geni appeared. “We’re gonna walk down to the lake. Join us?” Matthew asked and prayed they said ‘no.’

  “Actually, I’m going to sit by the fire. It’s heavenly. I was heading that way when I saw you,” Geni said.

  “I’ll join you,” Andy told her.

  Matthew took Carlee’s hand and hurried her toward the lake. “Why are we hurrying?” Carlee asked him, laughing.

  “I feel guilty leaving them,” he said, looking back over his shoulder.

  Carlee stopped and grabbed him by the shirt. Pulling him to her, she asked, “Guilty? They’re two grown people who seem to enjoy each other’s company; there’s nothing to feel guilty about.”

  Matthew kissed her. “They do seem to like each other,” he said. He kissed her again, sneaking his hands under her shirt and up her bare back. Lightly caressing her skin, he dipped his head to her neck leaving warm kisses there, sneaking to nibble her earlobe.

  “They do. Matthew Davis, I sure do love you,” she said and smiled.

  He wrapped her tightly into his embrace; it was a passionate kiss, and Carlee wasn’t ready for it. “Matthew,” she said, breathlessly.

  “Yes, dear?” he snickered, his touch making her crazy.

  “You make my knees weak,” she looked up at him and waited.

  He kissed her once more, his fingers continuing to explore. “We’d better get back,” he said, after one more passionate kiss.

  “Are you sure?” she laughed lightly, trying to catch her breath. “It hasn’t been ten minutes yet…”

  “If we stay any longer, ten minutes won’t be enough,” he laughed taking her hand pulling her through the woods, back to the campfire.

  When they returned, Geni and Andy were sitting with Amber, Alison, and two of the other counselors. They’d only been gone a few minutes but Andy saw the same ‘cat that ate the canary’ feathers he’d seen flying in the limo in Paris and smiled, remembering.

  Sunday morning, Carlee was up and out early for the art project. Volunteers had collected hundreds of magazines and the kids were taking the colorful pages and cutting out butterflies from stencils. They would be decorating the buckets with decoupage that would become the ‘Hope Wells.’ Alison had a friend coming on Thursday to attach ornate handles that he had made from scrap wire that he braided. He had also made metal butterflies to attach to the handles.

  Geni made her way to the counseling session she’d chosen with the younger kids. Taking a seat at the back of the room, she listened as Amber the young woman leading the session was trying to calm the giggles among the kids. From where she sat, Geni could only see a couple of the kids, and she watched them as they listened to Amber.

  “No matter what you feel, it’s never wrong, remember that. I always say ‘SAM’ is in charge of our feelings when we’re dealing with cancer. Sad, Angry, and Mad, and it’s OK to feel any, or all of those,” Amber said.

  “Sometimes you’re trying to keep it together. You’re trying to process what’s going on, and someone wants to talk to you about how you feel, or what’s going on. When you don’t feel like you’re ready to talk now, say so. Say ‘I’m not ready to talk about it just now,’ they need to respect your clock.”

  She paused a moment, “But… You need to talk about it sometime.” She gave them time to think about what she’d just said, and then asked them, “What does that mean?”

  A little blonde girl in the front raised her hand. “Jessica?”

  “It means that if you don’t talk about it sometime it’ll get like a balloon you blow up too hard, and it will ‘POP!’”

  “Exactly!” Amber said. “So? Is there anyone here who feels like their balloon is ready to ‘pop’ because you haven’t talked about it yet?”

  Geni looked and there was a child in the middle of the pack of kids who raised a hand. She couldn’t tell if it was a boy or a girl because the child had no hair.

  “Ronnie?” She listened as the child started to speak, and realized that ‘Ronnie’ was a girl.

  “I have A.L.L.,” she began, “My mom makes me sad because she cries all the time.”

  “Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia,” Amber explained. “It’s cancer of the white blood cells. Just so you can understand what Ronnie is going through, she just completed the first round of chemotherapy, and you know sometimes we lose our hair. She’s responding very well; that’s why she’s here with us this week! It’s her first time!”

  Geni heard the explanation, and she wanted to cry herself.

  “Thank you, Ronnie. Tell us more about your mom,” Amber encouraged.

  “When she cries, it makes me feel like she doesn’t think I’ll get better,” Ronnie
said in a sad voice.

  “Have you tried to talk to her about it?” Amber asked.

  Geni looked closer; Ronnie couldn’t be more than eight or nine.

  “I told her when she cries it makes me sad.”

  “Have you told her why it makes you sad? I know that would be hard, but if she doesn’t really know, then the two of you can’t move on,” Amber explained. “So if she were here right now, what is something you might say to her?”

  Geni listened, and her heart was breaking. Suddenly she heard her name.

  “Ms. Geni, could you help us out?” Amber asked.

  “Sure,” she said and rose from her seat.

  “Can you be Ronnie’s mom for just a minute?”

  “Oh, I…” Geni stammered.

  “It’s OK, I can tell you’ll be a fine stand-in,” Amber said.

  “OK, Ronnie, pretend that Ms. Geni is your mom. She’s been crying. You want her to know how you feel; what would you say?”

  Ronnie thought for a moment and took a big breath. She put her hand on Geni’s back; Geni held her breath.

  “Mommy, don’t be sad.”

  “Ronnie, she’s allowed to feel sad, but you need her to know how it makes you feel. Think about that just a minute,” Amber suggested.

  “OK,” she paused a minute, “Mommy, I know you’re sad, but it makes me sad too.”

  “Go ahead, you are doing fine,” Amber encouraged.

  “When you cry all the time it makes me sadder,” Ronnie continued.

  “Good,” Amber encouraged her.

  “I feel like you think I’m not going to get better.”

  “Great,” Amber added.

  Ronnie stopped to think. “I want to get better, and I want you to help me, so we can laugh again, like we did before.”

  “Great!” Amber said again.

  With no hesitation the little girl, with the bluest eyes Geni had ever seen, happily threw her arms around Geni’s neck, and Geni hugged her back. When the activity was over, Geni returned to her seat. The session went on for another thirty minutes.