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Imaginary Grace

Page 3

by Anne Holster


  My first thought was to turn around and go back, but I decided to brave it out. As I got closer I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

  Just then Tanner glanced over at me, a flash of recognition on his face, but it was Scott who spoke. “Hey,” he said, “aren’t you in our psych class? You were sitting behind Tanner.” He smirked at Tanner.

  I turned beet red as I nodded.

  “Your name’s Grace, right?” Tanner asked, and again I just nodded, surprised that he knew my name. He narrowed his eyes at me. “Can you speak?”

  “Maybe she doesn’t speak English,” Scott suggested.

  Tanner held up his red cup and pointed at it. When I nodded for the third time, he took the two red cups from my hands and filled them for me.

  When he handed them back to me, I managed to croak out, “Thanks,” before turning and slinking out of the kitchen, trying to ignore the sound of their laughter.

  When I found Beth, I handed her the beer and joined in the conversation like nothing had happened. But inside, I couldn’t shake my uneasy feeling; I just wanted to get out of there before I embarrassed myself again. I hung in there for a little longer, then caught Beth’s eye and jerked my head to indicate that I wanted to leave.

  On the way back to our dorm we rehashed every detail of the night. Well, every detail except my encounter with Tanner in the kitchen. I was just too embarrassed to talk about it, even to her. I just wanted to put my pajamas on and crawl into bed.

  Chapter 4

  Tanner

  By eleven-thirty the party had begun to thin out, so Scott and I left and headed into town. Neither of us mentioned J.D.’s, we just headed there by tacit agreement. J.D.’s was our fallback bar, the place we always went when it was too early to go home. It was also off the college grid, which was good when I was looking to hook up. For the most part, I tried to stay away from the girls on campus—too many complications.

  Of course there were sometimes complications at J.D.’s as well. Amber, for example, who I’d met there the week before, then promptly kicked out of the apartment. She was there again, and as soon as I walked in the door she made a beeline straight for me. Typical girl, she seemed to have forgotten what a jerk I’d been and her anger about it. Now she was back for more. I let her hang around for a couple of drinks but made it clear she wasn’t coming home with me. Told her I had an early study session, an excuse that usually worked on the locals; they didn’t seem to realize that students barely studied at all, let alone on a Sunday morning. Nothing against Amber, but I didn’t think it would be wise to leave with her again so soon; it might give her ideas. She hung in there for a while but eventually moved on, then I took my usual seat at the bar, which Scott had held for me, and waited for the band to start.

  Hudson-Nash had been together for years and were well known in the area. They played a lot of classic rock, 70s and 80s music, and they played it very well. Cole Hudson and Bryan Nash had originally started the band, along with another guy, Marty. A few years later they brought Bobby on board.

  Cole, who was also part owner of J.D.’s, was in his early thirties. He played keyboard and did most of the lead vocals, while Bryan, who was about the same age, sang backup and played bass guitar. Marty was on drums and Bobby played lead guitar. Both of them were in their late twenties.

  One night, a few months back, they’d asked me to fill in when Bobby didn’t show up. As I found out later, he was off on another one of his cocaine binges, something that had been happening more and more frequently. I was a regular at J.D.’s and they knew I played, so when Bobby left them in a bind, Cole reached out to me. I hadn’t played with a band since the Ratt Trapp days, so it took me all of two seconds to say yes.

  Playing with them had been a blast, and as soon as the gig was over I’d told them I was available any time they needed me, which they did every time Bobby was MIA. Then, about two weeks ago, Cole had approached me about joining them on tour next summer. He’d said Bobby was too unreliable and the rest of the band wanted him out.

  “Whoa, boy,” Cole said, laughing when he saw my eyes light up. “We’re not the Stones. When I say ‘tour,’ I mean we have ten, twelve gigs lined up, most of them in bars like this one, none more than a few hours up the coast.”

  I nodded, thinking it was still the closest thing to being in a real band I’d ever had. I didn’t even care when he told me I wasn’t getting paid. My problem came when Cole told me I’d actually have to foot the bill for my expenses.

  “Some places give us drinks on the house…” Cole added with a shrug.

  I told him I was definitely interested but had to see if I could get the money together. Fine, he said, but he’d need an answer soon or he’d have to start looking for someone else.

  From that moment the tour was all I could think about. But no matter how I cut it, I knew there was no way I’d be able to save the kind of money I needed. Finally, I bit the bullet and asked my parents for it. Not only would I get to play, I told them, but I’d be taking care of their sound system, which considering that sound production was my major, would look great on a resume. But even after I promised to pay them back after graduation, they flat out refused. They claimed that I was too irresponsible and that I should be grateful they were paying for my tuition.

  I wasn’t surprised by their reaction. After “the incident” I had gone a little crazy. There was the heavy drinking, which led to fights…not to mention the stray girls I was always sneaking into my room. Okay, so I had gone a lot crazy, especially for parents as straitlaced as mine. I reminded them that was back in high school, but it didn’t matter. Guess they were still recovering from the embarrassment of having a wild child under their roof. I had little hope of getting the money, but that didn’t make it any easier to accept.

  I glanced around J.D.’s, looking for Scott, but as usual, he was nowhere to be found. It was getting late, the bar would be closing up soon. Not wanting to be put on the spot by Cole again, I got up and started looking for my roommate. I finally found him in the corner, sucking face with some skanky blonde.

  I grabbed hold of him. “Let’s get out of here. You’ll thank me in the morning.”

  He blinked up at me for a moment, then got up and followed me out the door, leaving the bewildered blonde staring up at us. We were still laughing about it when we walked into the diner on the corner. We slipped into our usual booth and ordered two coffees. While we were waiting for the waitress to come back, Scott asked, “You figure out a way to get the money for the tour yet?”

  “Nah,” I said. “I’m gonna have to tell Cole to find someone else.”

  “What about hitting your parents up for it?”

  “Tried that. No dice.” I shrugged.

  Scott put his elbow on the table and rested his chin on his knuckles. I could tell by the look in his eyes that there was some crazy idea beginning to take root. Then, as if on cue, he said, “I think I have a plan that might work.”

  I looked at him expectantly, waiting for his brilliant plan.

  “What if you could convince your parents that you’ve turned over a new leaf, that you’ve realized the error of your ways, so to speak, and have matured into a much more responsible individual?”

  “Okay,” I said, “and I do this how?”

  “Simple, my good friend,” he replied, as he smugly sat back in his seat, folding his arms in front of him. “You find yourself a nice girlfriend. You bring her home to meet Mom and Dad, and you pretend to be really serious about her. Drop a hint that you’re thinking responsibly about your future. My guess is that they’ll be so relieved they’ll hand the money over to you on a silver platter.”

  I sighed. Clearly my friend needed to work on his planning skills. “And I’m supposed to pull this ‘nice’ girl out of my back pocket or something? You know I don’t do the girlfriend thing.”

  “I know, I know,”
he said. “You just pretend you’re serious about her. Once you have the money, you wait a little while, then you dump her and tell your parents she ditched you and you’re just heartbroken over it. My guess is that you can’t lose.”

  “Okay,” I said, intrigued in spite of myself. “Maybe it could work, but the problem is that I don’t know any nice girls, especially one who would go along with a scheme like that.”

  Scott put his hand up. “Let me finish. You don’t tell her it’s a charade. You string her along for a while, have her meet the family and then once they see how much you’ve changed, you plead your case with them again. They give you the money, and then you can dump her, get it?”

  I thought about it for a minute, then said, “You know, that’s actually not a bad idea. It just might work, but it couldn’t be just any girl. It would have to be their idea of the perfect girl, so this’ll take some thought. Any suggestions?”

  “I don’t know,” Scott said, leaning back in his seat. “How about Peg Legs?”

  “Who the fuck is Peg Legs?” I laughed, drawing a nasty look from the waitress, who had just arrived with our coffees. “Sorry,” I mumbled in her direction, then turned back to Scott with a raised eyebrow. I didn’t know who he was talking about, but she sounded like some hideous pirate.

  “Hmmph,” the waitress said, then asked if we were ready to order. Scott got an omelet, and I went with the cheeseburger deluxe.

  “Again, who the fuck is Peg Legs?” I asked again as soon as she left.

  “You know,” he said, “the skinny nodder from the party. I think her name’s Grace.”

  Skinny nodder…? “Oh, right, by the keg.”

  “Yeah. She’s actually kinda cute, in a dorky way, and from the way she was staring at you in class it’s a safe assumption that she’s got the hots for you, bigtime.”

  I nodded slowly. She did seem to be into me. And she would be perfect – quiet and dorky. And, yeah, it was a stretch, but I guess you could call her cute in an odd sort of way. “Yep,” I smiled. “I think we have a winner.”

  Chapter 5

  Grace

  Early Sunday morning I decided to go for a run. I dressed quietly so as not to wake Beth, then grabbed my iPod and was out the door. I loved to run while listening to my iPod; everything else faded away and I could just get lost in the music. That day, though, I wouldn’t find any peace during my run. I couldn’t stop thinking about my embarrassing encounter with Tanner and Scott at the keg the night before.

  Over the course of the week, the memory began to fade from my mind, but for a vague dread of going to class on Friday. On Thursday, after our last class, Beth suggested we check out the student fitness center. I wasn’t all that interested, but I figured, what the hell? Neither of us had ever belonged to a gym before and Beth had heard they were giving away free sessions with a personal trainer. Sure enough, after showing us the rows of treadmills and dumbbells, the manager scheduled us appointments with one of their student trainers. As we walked out of there, I found I was actually looking forward to it.

  I woke up Friday morning feeling apprehensive…and annoyed with myself. I knew I was still nervous about seeing Tanner.

  This time, when I arrived early at the building, it was to make sure I didn’t sit anywhere near him, but when I walked in, he was nowhere to be found. Maybe he wasn’t coming! I grabbed a seat in the back, took out my notebook and settled in to wait for the professor.

  I was doodling on the inside cover when suddenly the air in the room seemed to shift. I knew before I even looked up that Tanner had walked in. I kept my head down, but peeked up through my lashes just as he turned down the row I was in. As he walked toward me, I tried not to notice the snug-fitting ocean-blue t-shirt that perfectly matched his eyes and made them pop. The jeans he was wearing looked like they were made for him, the way they hugged his thighs.

  As he got closer, I realized there were only a few seats available and prayed that he didn’t take the one right next to me. He did, tossing his backpack on the floor before easing casually into the seat. I kept my head down, pretending to read over my notes from the last class.

  “Hi, Grace,” he said, startling me. I could feel him staring, waiting for me to look up. I wanted to look up, if only to ask how he knew my name, but I just couldn’t look him in the eye. What if I made a fool of myself again?

  “Hi,” I said nonchalantly, never looking away from the apparently fascinating notes I had taken.

  For the next hour and fifteen minutes, I barely breathed and I certainly didn’t look his way. After what seemed like an eternity, class was finally dismissed. I started to gather my things when I heard him ask – quite sweetly, I might add – “Would you mind if I borrowed your notes from last week’s class? I can’t seem to find mine.”

  I looked around for who he could possibly be talking to, but I was the only one around. I felt his beautiful blue eyes boring into me, then he said, “I could make a quick copy of them at the library and give them right back. Do you have another class after this?”

  My head was spinning. Quick, answer him! “No,” was all I could get out.

  “No, I can’t borrow your notes or no, you don’t have another class after this?”

  Somehow, I managed to compose myself. “Sure, you can borrow my notes and no, I don’t have another class after this.” Save!

  “Great,” he said, “let’s head over to the library. It’ll only take a minute.”

  We walked together in silence to the library, although I did steal several sideways glances at him. When we arrived, he headed straight for one of the large, high-speed copiers, and I handed him my notes. “Thanks, Grace,” he said, after he had copied the pages. “I really appreciate it.” He shoved the notes into his backpack. “Well, I’ll see you around…” Then he turned and walked out of the library, leaving me to stare blankly after him.

  Am I dreaming or did that just really happen?

  When I got back to the dorm, Beth was folding the pile of laundry on her bed. I excitedly grabbed her by the elbows, sat her down next to me, and started rambling on about what had happened with Tanner in excruciating detail. When I finally stopped to take a breath, I asked her what she thought it all meant.

  Beth looked at me with something like pity. “Grace, it means he lost his notes and he needed a copy of yours and that’s all. Stop overanalyzing it.”

  At her words, I felt my whole body deflate. She was right, of course. “I know,” I said as I fell back onto the bed, “but he’s just soooo cute.”

  Just then, my phone chirped with a text confirming our appointment with the personal trainer at 8:00 the next morning. I had forgotten all about it. Maybe a good workout would take my mind off Tanner.

  Not wanting Beth to think I was completely obsessed, I didn’t talk about him the rest of the night. The following morning we were out the door by 7:30 a.m. When we got to the gym we headed straight to the locker room to drop off our stuff. I was just about to close the door to my locker when Beth stopped me. “No way, Grace. You are not going in there in that big bulky sweatshirt. You look ridiculous! I know you have a t-shirt on under there, so lose the hoodie!”

  I hesitated for a minute, then slowly pulled the sweatshirt over my head. I stood there in my running shorts and t-shirt, feeling practically naked. Beth nodded approvingly. “That’s much better. Now let’s go find our guide – I think his name is Gary.”

  We found Gary waiting for us at the front desk. After we introduced ourselves, he showed us how to use all of the machines, then took us to the free-weight room and showed us some weight training exercises. There was also a room filled with treadmills, Stairmasters and stationary bikes that would be perfect for snowy, frigid days when I couldn’t run outside.

  With the tour just about done, Gary handed us each some forms to fill out. That’s when I glanced over Gary’s shoulder and saw Tanner in the we
ight room. He looked all hot and sweaty. I nudged Beth and motioned with my eyes. She just rolled hers back in response. Gary saw and looked over his shoulder. “Oh, do you guys know Tanner?” he asked. “He comes in here every morning.”

  My face burning, I stammered, “No--no, I just recognize him from one of my classes.”

  I got another eye-roll from Beth and a pleasant, if knowing, smile from Gary. He thanked us for coming in and said he looked forward to seeing us again. Not during the morning hours, you won’t, I thought as we left the gym. Suddenly, it seemed Tanner was everywhere.

  By the end of that week I had settled into my new workout routine. On most days, my classes were over by early afternoon, so afterward I would go to the gym to use the machines or free weights. The weather was still nice so I was also running outdoors.

  When I was done with my workout, I would grab some dinner, usually in the cafeteria, then it was on to homework. Before I knew it, it was Friday again and I was headed to class with a spring in my step. I got there early and waited, but he never showed up.

  After class was dismissed, I packed up my things, more than a little disappointed. I was heading down the hallway when I heard someone call, “Grace, wait up!” I turned to see Tanner quickly striding toward me. “I got tied up with something and couldn’t get here in time. Do you think I could copy your notes again?”

  “Sure,” I said, trying to ignore the tense feeling in my stomach, “we can go back to the library.”

  Once again, we silently walked over to the library and I handed him my notebook. After he had made the copies, I figured he was going to leave abruptly again. Instead, he said, “I’m heading over to the cafeteria-- how about you let me get you a coffee or something?”

  My head was spinning and before I could think, I just blurted out, “Okay.”

  “Great, let’s go.”

 

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