Imaginary Grace

by Anne Holster

  By the time we left the dorm it was nine-thirty and I had a good buzz going. I reminded myself of my earlier decision not to drink too much. Maybe the party would be lame and we’d wind up coming home early. Yeah, right. When we arrived, the party was in full swing. I had never seen so many people in one place before. It was jam-packed.

  As soon as we stepped inside Gary appeared with beers for us. “It’s about time you guys got here,” he said, handing them over.

  “Oh, we were just hanging out with the girls,” Beth said lightly, then told Gary we’d be right back.

  “Where’re we going?” I asked as she led me through the crowd.

  “To find Adam, silly,” she told me, as if I should’ve known. It took some searching on our part, but we finally found Adam out in the backyard; he was with a group of guys I’d never seen before. He seemed happy to see Beth and introduced us to his friends, who seemed pretty cool. For a minute I thought about heading back to Gary, but I decided I wasn’t in the mood. Maybe we’d hang out with this group until it was time to go. A while later, Gary found us. By that time I’d had another beer and decided that’d I’d better call it quits. I had a decent buzz going and hadn’t thought about you-know-who all night, so when he offered to get us another drink I said, “No, thanks, Gary, I want to slow down a bit.”

  “Oh, cool. I have just the thing for you. I’ll be right back.” He disappeared into the crowd, returning shortly with a large cup containing a fruity concoction. “Here, try this.”

  I curiously looked into the cup, but then I shook my head. “No thanks, Gary; I think I’ve had enough for tonight.”

  “Take a sip. I made it myself, and I barely put any alcohol in it,” he said.

  I hesitated for just a minute before taking a sip. He was right; it was delicious, and I barely tasted any alcohol. “Oooh, this stuff is good. Thanks, Gary,” I said, taking another sip. This was definitely my last drink.

  “You’re very welcome,” he said, smiling down at me.

  I continued to nurse the fruity concoction, barely noticing at first that my mind kept drifting from the conversation and that everything seemed to be moving in and out of focus. I glanced around, looking for a place to toss my empty cup.

  “Let me get you another one, Grace,” I heard Gary say as he gently took the cup from my hand. “I’ll be right back.” It seemed like everything was moving in slow motion as I felt myself teeter back and forth, grabbing the side of a lounge chair to steady myself.

  Beth was fully engrossed in a conversation with Adam, and the rest of the guys were setting up a table so they could play Blackwell, which I definitely wouldn’t be participating in. Just then Gary returned with my drink. I started sipping it right away since I was suddenly beginning to feel very hot. I took off my jean jacket and slung it over the back of the lounge chair.

  Gary asked, “Grace, do you want to go inside and sit down for a minute? You look like you could you use some cold water or something.”

  “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea,” I said, or at least I think that’s what I said—my tongue felt all thick in my mouth. He placed his hand on my arm and led me inside, but oddly enough he didn’t get me any water. He just got some ice cubes and put them into my drink.

  “Drink that down,” he said. “The ice’ll cool you off.”

  I did as he said, then sat down for a minute on the arm of the couch. The room was spinning and I was losing focus again, which was weird because all I’d been drinking was the weak punch.

  “C’mere, Grace, you don’t look so good,” he said as he gently took hold of my elbow. “Let me take you upstairs. You can lie down for a minute, and I’ll go tell Beth she should probably take you home.”

  I wanted to say no. I knew it was a bad idea, but the words…they wouldn’t come out. He slowly pulled me to my feet, steadying me as I stood up, and then began to lead me up the stairs. My feet felt so heavy, like they were encased in blocks of cement, as I took to the staircase one step at a time. It felt like an eternity before we reached the top and just as I put my foot down on the last step…everything faded to black.

  Chapter 56

  Tanner

  It was still early when we finished our last set, so we decided to stay and have a few drinks. I wasn’t really in the mood, though. It had taken every ounce of my strength not to wait for Grace after the exam on Tuesday. I knew it would be the last time I saw her before she left for home, but she couldn’t have been any clearer the last time I saw her. She wanted nothing to do with me. It sucked, but that’s life—or at least it’s what my life had become recently.

  The gig had been great, even if it was just a practice session ahead of the tour, which was starting at the end of the month. Another band was headlining the rest of the night. I was really looking forward to it, yet every time I thought about it, I remembered what it had cost me.

  I headed to the back room, packed my guitar away in its case, and splashed some cold water on my face. I was almost out the door again when I remembered my cell phone, still in my bag. I reached in and grabbed it, and that’s when I saw the two missed calls from Beth.

  I felt my heart skip a beat. Why would Beth be calling me? Just then Scott walked in. “Dude, what’s up? You look like you just saw a ghost.”

  I ignored his question because at that moment my phone started ringing again – another call from Beth. I quickly answered it, but I couldn’t understand her incoherent babbling. All I could tell was that she was obviously very upset and it had something to do with Grace.

  “Beth, slow down, I can’t understand what you’re saying. Wait minute…what happened? Are you guys okay?” I asked, trying to stay calm.

  She stopped talking for a moment, and I heard her take a ragged breath. Then she started again, this time more slowly. As I listened to what she was saying, I felt the rage building behind my eyes and wondered how someone could be so shocked by something they had fully expected.

  After she finished, I calmly asked her if Grace was all right.

  “Yeah, I think she’ll be okay,” Beth said. “She puked, and now it looks like she’s about ready to pass out. Tanner…I’m sorry I called you; I just freaked out, especially after that last conversation we had.”

  “No, I’m glad you did. I’m going to give you a call in the morning to check on her, okay?”

  “Yeah, okay. I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” she said shakily, and then the line went dead. I sat there motionless with the phone still in my hand as I felt a venomous fury begin to spread through my veins.

  “T, what’s the matter? Who was that on the phone?” Scott asked.

  I looked over at him, suddenly remembering that he was still in the room. “That was Beth. It’s Gary…he went after Grace.” I stood up and started quickly putting all my stuff away.

  “No shit? Wow, man, you had it pegged. That’s exactly what you said was gonna happen.” He shook his head. “Fuckin’Gary. What’re you gonna do?”

  I looked him square in the eye and said, “Kill him.” Then I picked up my stuff and stormed out the door.

  “T, wait up. Don’t do anything stupid,” I heard Scott say as he trailed after me. I didn’t answer him as I threw my guitar into the back seat and got in the car. Scott climbed in the passenger seat and shut the door, still trying to calm me down. I ignored him as I pressed my foot to the gas. It didn’t matter what Scott said; I’d already made up my mind.

  Reaching the house in record time, I threw the car in park, got out, and without a word, took off running down the path behind the house. Scott stayed at my heels all the way through the woods; then, just as I reached the end of the path, he grabbed hold of my arm, yanking me back. “T, what the fuck, man! You can’t go in there like that. He’s got his whole crew in there! They’ll annihilate us!”

  I shoved him hard so that he stumbled back. “Back off, Scott. This is between me and Ga
ry.”

  “You sound like a lunatic, T. Think this through!” Scott yelled as he moved back towards me.

  “I have thought it through!” I shouted back. “About a million fucking times, because I knew, I knew it’d come to this. I should’ve been there keeping an eye on her myself, and this never would have happened.”

  “It’s not your fault, T. You warned her. You did all you could do.”

  I looked at him and shook my head as I stepped back toward the edge of the path. I could see the row of frat houses ahead, partiers spilling out onto the yards. “You don’t get it, Scott. You just don’t get it.”

  “I get it, T. Believe me, I get it. What, you think I’ve always been ‘Stoner Scott’? Uh, no. I smoke to cope with all the shit I’ve been through. So yeah, I get it, and even though I think it’s a suicide mission, I got your back. But let’s at least be smart about it.”

  I listened to his two-second scheme, then we headed toward the lit up house at the center of the block. I slipped onto the porch and glanced in the front window from the front porch to make sure that Gary was inside. When I saw him, I nodded to Scott, who was waiting by the stairs, to let him know I’d spotted Gary, and then I slipped inside. Gary didn’t see me as I waited in the shadows near the doorway, but I stared him up and down, imagining the first blow. Just the sight of him made me sick. The thought of his hands on Grace, what he would’ve done to her if Beth hadn’t found her, only reinforced what I knew I had to do to him. And I didn’t need long to do it – one on one; just me and him.

  Just then I heard Scott scream – “CAT FIGHT!”

  Within seconds every guy in the house stampeded out to the front porch, but just as Gary got close to my hidden place, I stepped in front of him. “Where do you think you’re going, scumbag?”

  “Tanner, what the fuck are you doing here?” He sounded annoyed but I caught the look of concern on his face as he realized his boys were already outside.

  I knew I didn’t have much time before his goons came back inside. “I warned you to stay the fuck away from Grace.”

  I shoved him, hard, and he stumbled backward into a table. He steadied himself, then came back at me, getting in my face. “Fuck you, Tanner. That bitch was all over me. I figured I’d do her a favor and take her upstairs. You should’ve seen her. She couldn’t wait.”

  I lunged at him, quickly knocking him to the ground and easily pinning him. He flailed, trying to land a few punches, but his efforts were in vain as I began to repeatedly pummel his head into the ground. I heard a crunch as blood sprayed everywhere, and knew I’d broken his nose. Just as I was about to pound him again I was dragged off him and to my feet by three of his “brothers”, who held my arms as Gary attempted to stand.

  He was a bloody mess, but he still had a sick smirk on his face as he staggered toward me, hauled his fist back, and let loose with a shot that hit me square under my right eye. I saw a flash of white blinding light and might have gone down if his friends weren’t holding me. Just as he was about to land another blow, from out of nowhere I saw Scott come flying across the dining room table, barreling into Gary’s side and knocking him once again to the ground.

  Shocked, his friends loosened their grip on me just long enough for me to slip away, then sheer pandemonium broke out. The next few minutes were a blur of fists flying and bodies colliding. Girls were screaming, people were running, and then I heard the unmistakable sound of sirens in the distance, getting closer by the second. I didn’t care, though, because by then I had Gary by the throat.

  When the cops came in, it was me and Gary they spotted first, battling it out on the living room floor. It took at least three cops to pull us apart.

  Once they had separated all the brawlers, they began questioning everyone about what’d happened. Lucky for us, no one had actually seen what started it, and neither Gary nor I were very forthcoming. They took us down to the station anyway to fill out reports and ended up keeping us overnight in jail. They claimed they were charging us both with “disorderly conduct”, but we were released first thing the next morning.

  I called Scott to pick me up. I thought about stopping by Grace’s on the way home, but then I thought better of it. I’d call Beth later to check on her. Scott and I made the drive home in silence until Scott finally asked, “What’d you tell the cops?”

  “Nothing,” I responded as I stared blankly out the window.

  “Well, just so you know, word out on the lawn last night was that Gary got what he deserved, that he had it coming. You know, it happens once or maybe twice, people give you the benefit of the doubt, but anything more than that, and they start to wonder. Apparently it’s happened more times than we even realized. They’ll probably kick him out of the frat, maybe even the school.”

  I didn’t answer. At that point, I didn’t care what happened to Gary. I just really wanted to see Grace. I wanted to make sure that she was okay, but it was way too early to call.

  When we got home, I took a quick shower, then got myself an icepack for my eye, not that I thought it would do much good at this point. It didn’t matter, though, because as soon as I lay down on my bed, I passed out, the ice pack beside me. When I woke up, it was already dusk, the ice had melted into a soggy mess, and I was aching from head to toe.

  I immediately grabbed my phone to call Beth. I could tell that Grace was there by the way Beth was talking, so I kept it short, hanging up after I was satisfied that Grace was okay.

  When I walked out of my room, Scott was watching TV. He looked up and said, “Hey sleeping beauty, how’s the eye?” Then, without waiting for an answer, he turned his attention back to the TV. “I picked up sandwiches. Yours is in the fridge.”

  As soon as he said that I realized I was starving. “Thanks, man,” I said as I walked into the kitchen and got the neatly wrapped sandwich out of the fridge. I had just eased myself onto one of the stools when Scott came over, pulled up a stool, and offered me a half-smile. “So, what’s up…Tyson?”

  “Tyson, huh? I feel more like a punching bag, but I’ll take the compliment.” I bit into the huge Italian hero that he’d gotten me. When Scott wasn’t being a pain in the ass, he really was the best. We sat there quietly for a few minutes before I finally said, “Hey, what you said last night, you know, about how ‘you get it’ and how you weren’t always ‘Stoner Scott’ and about all the shit you’ve been through – what’s up with all that?”

  He leaned way back on the stool, his fingers laced loosely behind his head. “Oh yeah, you mean my little stump speech – total bullshit. Just said it for effect. I wish I could say I was more complex, but unfortunately this is it – what you see is what you get.”

  I looked at him sitting there, all pleased with himself, and knew he was full of it, but I let it go. “Whatever, man,” I said shaking my head as I bit into my sandwich again. “Whatever.”

  Chapter 57

  Grace

  Beth’s ringing phone woke me from my second nap of the day. My head still pounding from the night before, I didn’t even bother opening my eyes. I’d tried that earlier and the waves of nausea had sent me running to the bathroom. So I lay there unmoving, listening to Beth on the phone with Tanner. I didn’t know how he fit into this whole mess, but I could tell he was calling to check on me. I figured I’d find that out when Beth and I discussed what had happened at the party. I didn’t even want to think about that. All I knew was that I couldn’t wait for my dad to pick me up tomorrow and take me away from this nightmare.

  I forced my eyes open just as she and Tanner were ending the call. Beth was staring over at me.

  “How’re you feeling?” she asked.

  “Definitely better than after my last nap,” I said, “except that my head’s still hurting.”

  “Take another aspirin,” she said and then, “I want to talk about last night. Do you remember what happened? What’s the last thing you re
member?”

  I knew I wouldn’t be able to put off talking about it much longer, but the truth was that I didn’t really remember much. “All I know is that I decided to stop drinking, and Gary gave me what I thought was some fruit punch. Said there wasn’t much liquor in it, and I couldn’t taste liquor—I don’t think--but I started feeling all woozy. We went inside to get some water, and that’s where everything starts to get fuzzy. I have flashes of walking up the stairs, but then everything just goes dark after that.”

  I felt myself getting upset as I told the story out loud. What would’ve happened if Beth hadn’t have found me when she did? “Beth, what made you go look for me?” I asked. “I owe you big time for that.”

  “Well, the first clue was your jacket hanging on the chair. You love that stupid thing, and I knew you’d never leave it just lying around where anyone could take it. Oh, and, it’s not me you owe big time…it’s Tanner.”

  “Tanner?” I tried to sit up and was hit was a fresh wave of nausea. “What’s he got to do with this?”

  “Well, don’t be mad, because I promised I wouldn’t say anything to you, but I guess all bets are off now…”

  “Tell me? Tell me what, Beth?” I asked, feeling suddenly uncomfortable at the direction the conversation was taking.

  She hesitated a minute before continuing. “Well, Tanner came to see me a few days ago. He started spouting off about how we need to watch out around Gary, how Gary can’t be trusted. Then he made me promise to keep an eye on you whenever Gary was around. At first I thought he was just, I don’t know, either being paranoid or trying somehow to scare you into getting back with him, but then…then, I don’t know, he just seemed so worried, so I agreed. I never thought it would come to this, though. Gary really had us fooled.”

  It took me a minute to process what she had said. Tanner had come to me with the same warning, but I had brushed him off. What would’ve happened if he hadn’t gone to Beth?