Star Fish

by Nicola May

  He had insisted that we sat right at the back of the restaurant. ‘I can fondle you under the table then,’ he laughed.

  We talked easily throughout the meal. I learned that his family still lived in the same house, his sister had had a baby and his business was very successful.

  ‘Got another little enterprise as well as the Karts,’ he told me cheerfully. ‘ I’ll surprise you with that later.’

  ‘Sounds cryptic,’ I commented.

  ‘Wait and see,’ he smiled. ‘It’s a little surprise for my beautiful Amy.’

  After a couple of glasses of wine I felt brave enough to tackle him about his ex.

  ‘How long were you with your girlfriend?’ I asked nervously.

  ‘Don’t choke on your bhaji, but we were together ten years. I could have done a murder and got out of jail in less time,’ he laughed.

  ‘A big decision to leave her then?’

  ‘Like I said the other night, just spending all that time together on holiday made me realise that I didn’t want to be with her for ever.’

  ‘You must be quite sad?’ I continued, but got no answer. Will simply picked up the bottle and said, ‘More wine, Ames?’

  ‘So did you live with her then?’

  I obviously didn’t know when to stop, as he then looked me right in the eye.

  ‘Amy, I’m here with you now. I haven’t felt the way I’m feeling in ten years. But if it makes you feel better, yes I did live with her, but I’ve moved out and am now renting a flat. Tania’s still in the house but we are in the process of selling it.’

  He continued, ‘I guess meeting up with you again has made me realise what real love is. It is so, so weird but I instantly felt comfortable with you. I also wanted so much to take you inside your house and rip all of your clothes off the other night.’

  I could feel my whole body surge towards him. I hadn’t had my ‘love’ feeling since the first heady days of James Crook.

  ‘I just knew if I came in to your house I would never get any sleep and I had a really early start the next day,’ Will said.

  He looked at me through his gorgeous lashes. ‘You are a complete fox, Amy Anderson.’

  I put my hand on his. ‘This is so surreal but I’m loving it.’

  ‘Me too,’ he replied. ‘Now – bill and home I reckon, don’t you?’

  ‘What about your other secret enterprise?’

  ‘That can wait. Come on, let’s go.’

  We didn’t even make it up the stairs. My front door had barely shut behind us before we began to kiss passionately. I felt as if I’d gone into a trance. Who needed drugs when Will Wallingford was flying through my head like a fix? He put his hand up my skirt and felt my stocking tops. I could sense his arousal and he could sense mine.

  ‘Not yet,’ he whispered sensing that I couldn’t wait. He began to circle my erect nipples through my shirt. ‘You are so beautiful,’ he said breathlessly.

  He helped me out of my clothes, leaving my white lacy underwear on. He undressed, snapped on a condom and then teased me with his full erection until I could stand it no longer. I grabbed his hips and pulled him into me, pushing my panties to one side.

  As I felt the rise of my orgasm I could honestly have died at that minute and wouldn’t have cared. We lay in each other’s arms just kissing and stroking each other in silence until Will said quietly, ‘I’m crazy about you, Amy.’

  I could feel my eyes welling with tears of happiness.

  He continued. ‘In fact, Amy Jane Anderson, I love you. In fact I don’t think I’ve ever stopped loving you.’

  I so wanted to say, ‘I love you’ back but some instinct prevented me. My ‘love feeling’ was so evident. It just seemed too early to make this grand statement.

  There was then no stopping us; we made love on the stairs, on the kitchen table and eventually in bed.

  ‘What are you doing to me?’ I laughed breathlessly. ‘On a school night as well.’

  Will groaned. My comment had obviously brought him back to reality. ‘Shit, I’ve got to be at the track at seven a.m. and need to get some paperwork from home first. I’d better go.’

  I stuck out my bottom lip. ‘But I so wanted to wake up with you.’

  ‘Amy, if I stay here now I won’t wake up with you as we’ll never go to sleep.’

  There is nothing quite like the feeling of heady new love. Despite having only had four hours’ sleep I felt completely fine. I waltzed into work saying ‘Good morning’ to everybody far too loudly. I sat at my desk humming ‘Oh what a beautiful morning’. Amy Jane Anderson was in love and she wanted the whole world to know about it.

  Dear Minger

  Do I sense a night of complete debauchery?

  Dear Liv

  The only response to that is Yes, yes, yes!

  I spent the rest of the day in a complete daze of happiness. I could see Liv and Sam flash a couple of secret smiles at each other. When I received a text that said LOVE YOU LOTS LIKE JELLY TOTS I felt that my search for a ‘sole-mate’ was finally over.

  – Thirty Six –

  Capricorn: There’s something in the wind today. Tell people what you feel and you may be very surprised at the outcome.

  Will was working all weekend and said it would be difficult to see me as he had very early starts. So when Christopher called on Saturday morning I was quite happy to arrange to meet him that night to have an ‘exit interview’ from Starr & Sun.

  Always good to get feedback to see if we’re doing things right,’ he had said breezily. I’m sure I also caught a sense of relief in his voice when I agreed to meet him.

  ‘I’ll pick you up, at say seven thirty?’

  ‘Yes, that’s great. See you later.’

  At six thirty I got out of the shower and slung on my comfiest jeans and my favourite powder-blue shirt. I checked myself in the mirror and beamed approvingly. I had lost weight, not even by trying; funny what love does to you. My blue eyes were shining and my skin was glowing.

  ‘This is a bit posh, isn’t it?’ I exclaimed as we walked into a chic restaurant in the centre of town. I felt underdressed in my jeans.

  ‘Amy, you look beautiful,’ he assured me. ‘You shouldn’t worry so much what other people think about you.’

  I studied Christopher. He was a handsome man. Tonight, he was wearing a grey shirt, which complemented his bluey-grey twinkly eyes nicely. I also noticed his perfect white teeth.

  ‘It must cost you a fortune if you take all your members out like this,’ I remarked.

  He looked embarrassed. ‘It’s only for special cases,’ he told me.

  ‘So I’m a special case, am I?’ I laughed.

  Christopher ordered a bottle of Sancerre, then turned to me.

  ‘So, Miss Anderson, what’s happening with you now you’ve left our ranks? You confused me slightly by saying you were ready for another date and then you went quiet on me.’

  I felt completely safe with Christopher. His Capricorn nature allowed me to trust and confide in him completely.

  ‘I’ve found the man I want to marry,’ I announced happily.

  Christopher’s eyes seemed to lose their sparkle for a second. ‘That’s great news, Amy. Spill the beans then.’

  I then gushed out how euphoric I was feeling and how Will and I had kept missing each other but fate had brought us back together at last.

  ‘So where’s the lucky man this weekend then?’ Christopher wanted to know.

  ‘Oh, working,’ I said breezily.

  ‘And he can’t find a single moment to spend with his newfound fiancée?’ Christopher said sceptically. I was not going to be deterred by this comment.

  ‘He’s really ambitious and work means everything to him. I don’t doubt him at all.’ Christopher could sense my agitation.

  ‘Sorry, Amy, I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s just I would hate to see you hurt, that’s all.’ He paused. ‘If I found somebody as perfect as you I wouldn’t leave your side.’

  �
�Oh come on stop mucking about,’ I said coyly and jumped up to go to the loo. Then, looking at Christopher’s expression I suddenly realised that he wasn’t joking – and I didn’t know quite how to face the situation.

  I had to text Will. MISSING YOU ALREADY Ax. I checked myself in the mirror and was horrified, as poking out of my ear was the black spongy earpiece from my mobile phone hands-free kit! I couldn’t believe that Christopher hadn’t said anything. I returned to the table and held out the offending black article. He laughed out loud.

  ‘Sorry, Amy, I knew you were feeling a bit insecure and I didn’t want to make you feel worse.’

  ‘You bastard.’ I threw my head back and really laughed. ‘Thank goodness this isn’t a proper date,’ I joked and then realised in the light of the situation what a callous thing to say.

  ‘Yes,’ Christopher responded quietly. ‘Thank goodness.’

  Fortunately, just then the waiter arrived, and said, ‘Sir, madam, let me tell you about today’s specials.’

  I don’t know what it is but I never listen to the list of specials. I switch off and go into some sort of trance, nod approvingly and then don’t know if there’s trout or taglietelle on offer at the end of it.

  ‘Amy?’ Christopher enquired.

  ‘You go first, I’m not sure.’

  I always did this as well, and feeling completely rushed always ordered something I didn’t really want. In this case it was no exception. I eventually settled on Avocado Vinaigrette to start, followed by Quail Stuffed with Pistachios.

  We talked easily over dinner. I learned more about Cordelia – that her husband had run off with his secretary and since their divorce seven years ago she had been alone as he had hurt her so badly and she had never got over it.

  ‘She’s a funny old bird, I know,’ Christopher explained. ‘but she has a heart of gold and has supported me through thick and thin.’

  ‘So what “thins” has Christopher Starr had in his life then?’ I wanted to know,

  not thinking for one moment that solid, sensible Christopher would ever screw up.

  ‘Oh, you know, the usual relationship shit that happens.’

  ‘Tell me about it,’ I said sympathetically.

  ‘Oh, just that I went out with this girl for three years – she meant everything to me. In fact, we got engaged. Then she got cold feet. Decided that she wanted to “find herself” and went abroad to work for the Red Cross. Said she’d come back when she was ready. Said that true love always finds a way.’ He looked really sad. ‘Two years later, I’m still waiting.’

  ‘Oh you poor baby!’ I exclaimed. He was on a roll now.

  ‘Then a few months ago I suddenly felt the flutter again for somebody new. She’s pretty, quirky, fun and kind.’

  ‘Go on,’ I urged.

  ‘She doesn’t realise how much I care about her and I’ve never had the courage to tell her.’

  ‘But you so must,’ I continued, thankful that I had obviously got the wrong end of the stick about ‘us’. ‘Or how will she know otherwise?’

  Fuelled by the Sancerre trickling through my veins I got on my relationship soapbox. ‘That is so the problem with men: they go into their caves to protect themselves and forget to come out and announce how they feel.’

  He looked straight into my eyes and said quietly, ‘I just can’t tell her.’

  ‘Why not?’ I screwed up my face, not understanding now. Just as Christopher was about to answer I got the most terrible stabbing pain in my lower stomach. I held myself and gasped.

  ‘Amy, are you OK?’ he said with real concern.

  I was almost doubled over. ‘Oh my stomach,’ I groaned. ‘I’m in agony.’

  He put his hand on my shoulder. ‘Let me get the bill.’

  I was sweating profusely now. ‘Toilet,’ I gasped.

  I just had to be alone. I got into the cubicle and phoned Anna. With her nursing experience she’d know what to do.

  ‘What did you eat?’ she asked calmly and professionally.

  ‘Quail and pistachios.’ Anna sniggered. Her knowledge of bowels extensive. ‘No bloody wonder you’re in pain. you silly cow – quail and pistachios! Fart, Amy, just fart. You’ve probably just got trapped wind.’

  The pain was now getting worse. What Anna said did make sense. I had had a similar pain before when I had eaten a pound of dried apricots. The only thing for it was for me to get into the yoga position that releases trapped wind. I had been to my first and last yoga class about three years ago, had got into this position and had let out the most resounding fart of my entire life. Everybody had tried not to laugh; I tried not to cry and ran out of the room. And so endeth my search for peace and tranquillity.

  Desperate straights called for desperate measures. Manoeuvring myself on all fours in the tight space, almost knocking myself out on the toilet seat, I raised my bum high in the air, assumed the Dog pose and rocked slowly. Thank God the cloakroom was posh and the loo floors spotless. I stayed like this for about five minutes but nothing appeared to be happening. I was still in pain. Then I heard a kerfuffle outside.

  ‘You have to let me in, it’s my friend you see, she’s unwell.’ ‘Amy?’ I could hear Christopher’s worried voice.

  ‘In here,’ I said in a strangulated voice.

  In my anxiety to get the wind out I had forgotten to lock the cubicle door. Poor Christopher pulled the door open to be greeted by the sight of me on all fours, my trousers round my ankles, my g-stringed bum in his face, releasing a fart that would have knocked a Coke can off a tree from twenty paces. My most embarrassing moment to date had just registered six million on the Richter Embarrassment Scale. Even the disappearance of the agonising pain didn’t make me feel one bit better.

  All the way home I sat in silent mortification, while Christopher kept breaking into convulsions of laughter. It wasn’t until we got to my house that I realised how funny I must have looked, and I started to laugh too. In fact we both laughed until we were crying. When we had calmed down he kissed me on my wet cheek.

  ‘Good luck with Will. I’m always here for you if you need a chat.’

  ‘Thanks for your hospitality, even though it nearly hospitalised me,’ I joked as I got out of his car.

  Christopher chuckled again. ‘Don’t ever change, Amy Anderson.’

  I waved sheepishlyand then nearly fell over with shock as quiet, dependable Christopher leaned out of the window and shouted, ‘Nice arse, by the way!’

  – Thirty Seven –

  Pisces: Be careful not to jump in with both feet today. Enjoy the ride but beware of Cupid’s poison arrows.

  I woke up Sunday morning to Penelope licking my ear. I cringed at the memory of last night, and then laughed, remembering Christopher’s parting comment. Christopher Starr was a bit of a dark horse, I reckoned. He had also said, ‘Don’t ever change.’ Why was it always the men I didn’t want who always said the things I wanted to hear?

  My thoughts then turned to Will. Amazingly I had gone to bed without really thinking about him. I checked my mobile. Annoyingly, no reply to my text message. I had to tell him what had happened. He was one person who would find it really funny. I dialled his number, excited at the thought of talking to him, and it just rang and rang. I was surprised that with a business as busy as his he didn’t have a message service. Bless him, I thought. He must be busy. I texted him again. MORNING BABE. DON’T WK 2 HARD. CALL ME WHEN YOU GET A MO x. Beep! I excitedly pressed the message button. LOVE YOU TALK TOM x.

  Monday couldn’t come quick enough. I wanted to live and breathe Will Wallingford. I was driving into work and Will’s name flashed up on my mobile. I find it so exciting when the name of the person I want to hear from most in the world appears on my phone screen.

  ‘Hey, babe. Just wanted to say I love you – oh and to say try and get a day off tomorrow. It’s supposed to be a crispy, sunny autumn day and I want to take you somewhere.’

  ‘I’ve got so much to tell you,’ I said smiling.


  ‘Must go babe, got another call. Let me know re tomorrow.’

  Sometimes Will was so infuriating, but I guess that was part of his appeal. He excited me to the core.

  When I walked into the office, Liv bounded up to my desk with a bouquet of beautiful yellow roses in her hand.

  ‘You lucky cow!’ I exclaimed.

  ‘No, you lucky cow. Just picked them up from reception on my way up. They’re for you.’

  My heart started to pound. Bless Will, he had been so romantic even as a teenager. I ripped open the card.

  To the Wind beneath my Wings! Thanks for using Starr & Sun. Cx.

  After the initial disappointment that they weren’t from Will, I then relayed the whole restaurant débâcle to Liv, who ended up laughing so hard a button flew off her tight shirt revealing her pink and white spotty bra. This was a godsend as Mr Parkinson came out of his office to tell us off and had to retreat straight back in as he obviously had got another hard-on.

  Will arrived bright and early the next day. He pulled up in a Jeep this time.

  ‘I hope you don’t have as many cars as women?’ I laughed.

  He smiled. ‘Variety is the spice of life and all that, ma cherie. Now let’s go.’

  ‘Where are we going anyway.’

  ‘To show you my other venture.’

  After a hair-raising ride along the motorway we pulled into a gravel car park. In front of us was a large expanse of water, surrounded by woodland. A timber club-house-type building was to our left.

  ‘A lake!’ I exclaimed.

  ‘Not any old lake, darling Amy. It’s my baby.’

  I remembered back to the good old teenage days and Will’s obsession with water-skiing even at that young age.

  ‘I’ve bought it’ he told me proudly. ‘I rent out the land and club-house as a going concern but I can ski any time I like.’

  Will never ceased to amaze me.