James left his feast and kissed his way up to my face. He met my mouth with loving tongue kisses. The taste and smell of me in his mouth turned me on even more, so I reached down, grabbed his dick, and eased it inside of me. Right away, James found his home inside of me, immediately finding that spot that he had grown to learn so well.
I moaned and wailed soft songs of praise; calling his name, telling him how much I loved him and how good his dick was.
James fucked me with motive. I couldn’t fathom what he was trying to do to me or what he was trying to convince me of. But whatever he was selling, I was buying all of it.
It was as though he was trying to prove his love with massive and deliberate strokes, demanding my attention and belief in his love.
I undoubtedly believed that he loved me. I just wondered if he felt the same passion and obsession for me that I did for him.
A person could love anyone. I loved Bradley. I loved every ex-boyfriend that I have had. Yet, being in love was different, and I only learned that difference once I fell in love.
Fourteen
Thursday, March 25, 2010
TRICEY
“This is docket number ending in 873. Judge Susan Banks residing.”
I tried to size the judge up as I sat in the back of the court room. I tried to measure the amount of compassion or sympathy in her eyes, but she looked as cold as any criminal court judge would look that saw nothing but murderers and rapists all day.
The judge spoke swiftly, like she was simply trying to get through this case as fast as she could to move on to the next cases in order to get the hell out of there. She didn’t even look in Star’s face. I wondered how she would even notice my sister’s innocence if she wasn’t even paying her any attention.
“Ms. Anderson, there has been a complaint filed, in case number SF198Z, that alleges that on March 7th, 2010 the crime of murder, in violation of Section 187 of the penal code, was committed by you, Ms. Anderson, with accomplices, of Reginald Timothy King, a human being, with the special exception of you, Ms. Anderson, and accomplices committing this crime of murder during the commission of the crime robbery in violation of penal code section 112.” As the judge went on, Star bowed her head lower and lower in shame. “This case also alleges the possession and trafficking of cocaine in violation of Section 978 of the penal code.”
I sat nervously, awaiting Star’s fate. Before the arraignment hearing, Jean gave me a lot of hope. She spoke positively of Star’s chances of getting out on bail since these were her first offenses. However, I was praying that it wasn’t false hope.
Star barely looked at me as she shuffled into the court room a few minutes ago, shackled at her ankles and wrists. I could see that she was still very bruised and battered. I also saw the same anxiety and desperation in her eyes.
“Ms. Taylor, your client has already pled not guilty. People on bail?”
On cue, the district attorney gave arguments as to why my sister should stay locked up. “Your Honor, with the double conviction of drug trafficking and murder, it’s obvious that Ms. Anderson is a threat to the community and should be remanded. She refuses to identify her accomplices in the murder of Reginald…”
Right away, Jean interrupted. “Objection, Your Honor! The authorities have all the information they need to locate these said accomplices. It is on record that warrants have been issued for the arrests of the other three defendants named in this case. Therefore, given the fact that Ms. Anderson has no previous record, she should be granted bail. Her entire family resides in this city, she is a single parent, and does not have employment. Therefore, she is not a flight risk.”
“Your Honor, Ms. Anderson has branded ties with known criminals! Her accomplices have already fled. What is stopping Ms. Anderson from doing the same?”
“A high bail,” the judge answered sarcastically. “Bail is set at $500,000.”
I felt faint. In order to get Star out, I would have to pay ten percent of her bail. I was not at all prepared to pay $50,000. I couldn’t even begin to think about where to get it. I had savings, but not $50,000 worth.
“Your Honor, as I said, my client is an unemployed single parent. She, nor her family, can afford such a high bail…”
“She should have thought about that before getting herself involved in murder and drugs. Despite her absence of a record, Ms. Anderson is facing felony murder and drug trafficking charges. She can’t get off that easily. Bail is set at $500,000. Next case.”
Star looked back at me with sympathy, as if to check on me. I blew her a kiss as the guards escorted her out of the courtroom. Jean met me in the aisle and we walked out of the courtroom together.
“Well,” Jean said with a sigh. “At least she got bail.”
“I can’t afford $50,000, Jean. Where I am going to get that kind of money?” I was almost in tears. To relieve some stress, I sat on a bench outside of the courtroom doors. “They can’t lower her bail?”
Jean stood above me, looking at me wearily. “It was a stretch that we were able to get another arraignment hearing and get her bail. What the judge said is true. Star is being charged with serious crimes that many people are not granted bail for.”
“But it’s obvious whose drugs they were.”
“Unfortunately, the law doesn’t work that way. Star owns the vehicle. She was driving. Yes, it would be nice if Roxie would account for the drugs, but her disappearance makes it obvious that she isn’t going to do that. However, and fortunately, I can use her disappearance as an assumption of guilt during Star’s trial, but that won’t help with bail. And let’s not forget that it is on record that she is involved knee-deep in this murder. She didn’t pull the trigger, but according to the law, it is too coincidental that she is tightly knit with two known robbers and suddenly her boyfriend gets robbed.”
I sighed heavily. Jean was right. I didn’t have any choice but to pull $50,000 out of my ass. “What is Star telling you about this murder?” I wondered if Jean knew the details. I wanted to know how deep in this murder Star really was. With so much going on, Star could barely tell me the details, and I honestly didn’t wholeheartedly believe the details that she did share with me.
“That is attorney-client privilege. I can’t tell you that, Latrice.”
“But based on what you know and what she has told you, do you think she will be found guilty?”
“It will take some good strategizing on my part, but it looks promising,” Jean answered as she tapped my knee. “Don’t worry about that. You worry about getting her out of jail, for now.”
LYRIC
I was so excited about James’ birthday.
It was the first of many, I hoped, that he and I would spend together, so I was really excited about its possibilities. I was looking forward to a day of intimacy, happiness, and, of course, birthday sex.
Since James wanted to spend his day man-primping for tonight, I sat in my office trying to come up with a spontaneous way to wow him. With our recent vacation, James insisted that Jamaica was a good enough gift for him, on top of all the other spices in our relationship. He just wanted to relax. I didn’t know whether that was him just downplaying his special day or if, as his woman, I should play it up anyway.
Since Tricey was consumed with Star’s case, I didn’t want to bother her with helping me come up with ideas. Therefore, I sat online in my office searching local getaway spots, hoping that maybe we could just have some quick romantic fun.
Then, as I sat thinking of him, the birthday boy called.
I greeted him with excitement. “Hey, babe!”
“Hey, you. What are you doing?”
“Nothing much. Surfing the Internet. What are you doing?”
“Just finished having lunch with my father. On my way to get my hair cut.”
“What or who are you getting all cute for?” I was teasing him and he knew it. “Did you come up with any ideas for tonight?”
He hesitated as he thought about it. “Not really.”
>
To me, James was unusually hesitant. I felt like this was our first chance to spend his birthday together, and he did not sound excited about it all.
“What’s wrong? You don’t want to do anything, or would you rather hang out with your boys?”
“No, babe, I want to spend the day with you.” Then he added nervously, “But I want you to do something for me.”
I didn’t like the sound of his voice. He sounded nervous and unsure. I couldn’t imagine what he wanted because, hell, we have already done some pretty different things with each other that were far past the norm, so he didn’t have anything to be nervous about with me.
“What is it?”
“I want you and me to have drinks with my friend.”
“Who?”
“Raven.”
My heart began to beat frantically, and I could have just cried right then and there.
It was a smack in the face. After I had actually found it in my heart to overlook the lie, he was throwing this bitch back in my face.
I had been hoping that since he finally screwed her, she was out of his system.
Apparently not.
James heard my hesitation and immediately began to assure me. “We always play with women that you choose. I want to play with somebody that I like…”
“I understand that, but I want to be comfortable with who you are playing with too. I don’t trust her.”
I was pissed. My face was so fucking hot. He was literally asking me to share my time with a bitch that didn’t even respect me. Not only that, but apparently this chick meant something to him for him to feel the need to include her on his day.
All I could ask was why today. Why on a day that, if it wasn’t important to him, was important to me. On a day that made me feel important in his life because I was the one spending it with him, I felt belittled because he was asking me to share it with someone else.
I wanted to break down, but I couldn’t because, apparently, Raven was somewhere being cool about this. I couldn’t lose face.
He tried to persuade me, but I wasn’t listening. I heard him, but I was too busy thinking of a way that I could best come out on top and with my relationship intact. It was obvious that he liked this girl for more than a fuck because he’d already fucked her and he still wanted her around. Not only did he want her around, but he felt it necessary that she be around on his birthday.
Now, he may not have been thinking about this as deep as I was. He might have been simply thinking with his dick and thought it to be the perfect opportunity for me to become comfortable with Raven. Yet, I was hurt and suspicious. I knew that James loved me because of my open mindedness to his sexual appetite. The moment he fell for another woman with the same understanding, I was no longer unique. I felt as if my grip on his heart was slowly fading.
“James, she likes you. She wants to be with you. This isn’t right.”
“But I love you. I love you. How she feels doesn’t matter.”
Yet, obviously it mattered because he felt it necessary to include her. The other women that we have played with came and went. Their presence was not required or necessary. This was different. No matter how he continued his attempt to persuade me otherwise with whispering sweet nothings into my ear, I knew in my heart that this was different.
“But does how I feel matter?” Fuck being cool. I didn’t want to be cool, and I was not about to just politely hand James over to Raven.
With a sigh, he answered, “You’re right. You matter. You definitely matter, so let’s just drop it.”
Yet, it wasn’t dropped.
For the rest of the afternoon and evening, James’ mind was obviously somewhere else, and I knew exactly where it was.
He met me at my place after work. After I showered and changed, we got into his truck to go to dinner. I could feel the tension and sense his unhappiness.
It’s fucked up to know that, though your man is with you, he would rather be somewhere else with someone else. Therefore, as we arrived at the restaurant and attempted to have normal conversation, there was a ball in my stomach that wouldn’t allow me to fake the funk.
I saw my relationship slipping out of my hands. Usually a woman has the luxury of not knowing the other woman’s face, name, or details. However, I could see Raven so clearly that she stayed on my mind every minute of the evening. I couldn’t shake it and it upset me that he had no issue making it obvious that this woman had his interest.
“I’ll be back.” James didn’t wait for me to respond as he left the table. He was simply going to the bathroom, so I continued to look over the menu.
We were at Texas De Brazil, a Brazilian steakhouse in downtown Chicago and James’ absolute favorite restaurant.
I didn’t have an appetite, though. In frustration, I laid the menu down on the table and stared blankly into space. Anxiety was rushing through my body like a waterfall.
As I stared off, James’ cell phone began to vibrate against the table. Unconsciously, I glanced at the Caller ID since it was facing upward in plain view.
Raven’s name displayed across the screen, reinforcing my anxiety. Nothing in me wanted to answer the phone. I was actually scared of her existence, so I didn’t want to speak to her so that she could confirm my concerns about her and James’ relationship.
I could only place my head in my hands and attempt to calm down. I didn’t want to further fuck up James’ birthday, but I just couldn’t shake how offended I was at their blatant disrespect of me. I couldn’t shake how little and insignificant I felt. I felt disposable, when, just a few weeks ago, you couldn’t tell me that our chemistry wouldn’t lead us to be together for the rest of our lives.
“You ordered yet?”
When James sat back down, I looked him in the eyes. He looked as stressed as I felt.
“Let’s talk.” It just came out. Honestly, I didn’t want to talk about it, but this wasn’t us; the lies and shadiness wasn’t what made up our relationship.
I fully expected him to be reluctant, but he dropped his shoulders slightly to surrender to the fact that this issue wasn’t going away. “Yea, let’s talk.” And that scared me even more.
“Have you been talking to Raven behind my back?”
He answered, “Yes,” with no hesitation.
“Are you fucking her?”
James seemed to fidget, but he continued, “We did have sex again after that time in the car, but it was only once.”
Luckily for him, we were in public, so I couldn’t cause a scene. On the inside, though, I wanted to scream and cry. “Why have you been hiding this from me?”
“Because it’s obvious that you don’t like her.”
“So why not accept how I feel and play with somebody else?”
“Because I honestly don’t want to play with anyone else. I like her.”
I felt as if he had just punched me in the stomach. “You like her?”
“I like her.”
“So you’ve been lying to me when you say that how she feels doesn’t matter!”
“It don’t matter. I like her, but I love you.”
I was amazed at how calm he was being. It was as if he was simply reading a story and couldn’t understand why I wasn’t grasping the concept.
“Don’t tell me that you love me.”
“I do! Just because I like her don’t mean I can’t love you.”
I couldn’t understand whether he was pimping me or using reverse psychology. “James, don’t play me. This shit right here is different. This shit right here is lies and cheating, and I don’t play that shit. If we were going to end up like this, we could have stayed single.”
“I don’t want to be single. I want to be with you. I love you to death, but I don’t want to play with a different woman every time. I want my relationship, but I am not comfortable with how you want to play. I need a steadier fling so that I can feel comfortable. All this time, you have been comfortable, but I haven’t.”
“So are you and Ra
ven just fucking, dating, or what?”
“I’m not putting a title on it.”
“Oh really?”
“I’m not putting a title on it because the only title that matters is yours.”
“So you don’t give a fuck if this woman disrespects me by sneaking behind my back with you? That ain’t how this is supposed to go. It’s messy and it’s causing drama.”
“And I apologize for that, but the lies all fall on me. I chose to sneak.”
James continued to tell me how his relationship with Raven was nothing to be worried about and how he simply needed to have interest in his fling so that he could comfortably play with her, but all I heard him saying was that he was falling for another woman.
TRICEY
My frustrations led me to Smith’s place.
Since leaving Star’s hearing, I had been calling this and that person trying to figure out how to get this money to get my sister out of jail. I tried everything, but my options were pretty slim. I hadn’t owned my condo long enough to acquire enough equity, and the bank was not willing to loan me an additional $50,000. I didn’t own my car yet, so I couldn’t sell it. My mother still refused to discuss Star’s case, and I only had $10,000 in savings.
I missed Blood so much at this point. I mean, I missed him more than anything every day of my life; but at this very moment, I missed how I could depend on him. He wiped his ass with $50,000, so he would have given it to me with no hesitation. As a matter of fact, he would have been at Star’s hearing with me. Though I left a message for Smith about the hearing, he hadn’t called me back, nor did he show up.
“Who is it?”
“Latrice.”
I wondered if he would even open the door or not. I hadn’t called to let him know that I was coming because I was scared that he would turn me away. Despite how he was acting towards me, I needed him to help me get my sister out of jail, so I was ready to beg. He was my last hope.
Good Girls Ain't No Fun Boxed Set (The SIX romance and urban fiction volumes of the LOVE, SEX, LIES series) Page 50