As I continued to look at him in wonder, he took advantage of my silence to explain himself. “Reggie told me that he saw you and Greg leaving out the laundry room. He said that when Greg let him in, you were fixing your clothes and had this fucked up look on your face. I thought you fucked him, especially since you’ve been acting so funny lately, but when I confronted Greg, he told me the truth. He swore that nothing happened.”
I couldn’t believe it. I thought that I was in some fucked up ass twilight zone. “So, you put me in the hole because you thought I fucked your friend?”
And with that stupid ass guilty smirk that all men have when they have been found guilty of being dumb, he stuck his hands in his pockets and avoided my shameful eyes.
“You made me stay in that nasty ass cell for three days, starving and laying on that hard ass floor, because you thought I fucked your friend?!”
Again, Malik looked at me with guilt. It made me even more upset that there was nothing I could do. I couldn’t hit, scratch, or punch Malik, because he could put me right back in the hole. Although Malik looked so guilty at the moment that he seemingly would have done absolutely anything to fix this fuck up, I wasn’t about to try him, because apparently there were no limits to what he could do to me in retaliation.
“Take me back to my cell, Malik.” Then, I assumed the position; turned my back to him and put my hands behind my back.
Doing so seemed to hurt Malik’s feelings. He gently pulled my arms out of surrender and looked at me longingly. “Baby, I am so sorry.”
This shit was so weird. I looked at Malik in wonder; questioning who in the hell he was and what I had gotten into. But truth be told, no matter how I felt, I was at Malik’s disposal whether I liked it or not. He and his dick controlled my stay in that prison as long as he was employed there, so there was nothing that I could do.
“What the hell happened?!”
Dawn’s voice brought me out of my trance. I looked up and saw her rushing towards my bed. I was lying down attempting to keep my lunch down.
I was also lying down in order to keep from fainting. I was feeling so dizzy and could barely breathe. I felt like the walls were closing in on me. I didn’t know for sure, but from things that my mother would complain of, I assumed that I ran my blood pressure up with stress, worry, and fear. Since being released from the hole, all I could think about was how I was going to get rid of this baby.
Dawn sat looking at me with so much concern. “What’s wrong?! Why did they put you in the hole?!”
“That crazy son of a bitch Malik put me in the hole because he thought I fucked Greg.” I was still so angry at Malik’s lunacy that I was literally gritting my teeth as I spoke.
The look that Dawn gave me in response was priceless. If I wasn’t in such a fucked up and desperate situation, I would have laughed.
“What the fuck?!”
I replied, “Exactly!”
“Why would he think that?!”
“Greg was guarding me when I was on duty in the laundry room last week. The motherfucka tried to force himself on me until Reggie came knocking on the door. When Greg opened the door, Reggie saw me fixing my clothes and shit, so he thought me and Greg were in there screwing and told Malik!”
“Are you fucking kidding me?!”
“He just let me out the hole and told me that when he approached Greg about it, Greg told him that we didn’t do anything. So now he’s sorry, like throwing me in the hole is something that you can just apologize for!”
“Why didn’t you tell him about Greg trying to force himself on you?!”
“What would be the point? Greg wouldn’t get in trouble, and how do I know that Malik would even believe me? He thinks his friend’s words are bond, obviously!”
Tears started to fall and that scared me. I hadn’t cried in forever. This situation was more terrifying than being in prison itself.
Dawn rubbed my leg as I allowed myself to cry and my tears to fall. I was feeling like I was in worse of a hellhole than I had been in.
Dawn attempted to console me. “I know the hole sucks, but you’re out now, sweetie.”
“No, that’s not why I’m crying,” I explained as I wiped my tears. “I’m pregnant, Dawn.”
With a gasp, she asked, “Are you sure?!”
“I’m sure. I haven’t come on my period and I can’t keep any food down.”
Dawn looked at me as if I had been sentenced to death. I actually felt like I had been, because this situation was killing me.
“What am I going to do, Dawn?” That question was so sincere. I actually hoped that, by some miracle, Dawn had an answer; even though I knew that wasn’t the case.
We both sat in silence; Dawn in awe and me in absolute disappointment as I dried my tears.
“Mail call!” As quick as the inmate delivering the mail came, she dropped an envelope on the nightstand and went, not even noticing my tears or Dawn’s utter disbelief.
Dawn stood from the bed, retrieved the envelope from the table, and handed it to me.
I knew that it was either a letter from my mother or Tricey, so without even looking, I ripped it into pieces and through it in the trash.
TRICEY
After work, Iyana and I met up at a local lounge for drinks.
Even though she always looked cute and together; today she was overly cute and together, so I figured that something was up.
After a few drinks, I found out exactly what. “Girl, Devin is getting on my nerves!”
I giggled as I sipped from my Don Julio with a touch of Rose’s Lime. “I knew something was up with that little bitty ass dress that you have on.”
Iyana smiled bashfully as she replied, “I just wanted to make him feel like I was going somewhere special when I left the house.”
I teased her by saying with a smirk, “Oh, I’m not special?”
“Of course, you are,” she answered with a sarcastic grin. “But you know what I mean. I wanted to get his attention, make him jealous.”
“What’s going on in LaLa land?”
“Bitches,” she answered with a grunt. “These thirsty bitches is what’s going on. They throw themselves at Devin and he doesn’t mind catchin’ them hoes!”
I giggled uncontrollably as Iyana vented.
“It’s not funny, Tricey!”
“How do you know he’s been catching them?”
Iyana sighed as she ran her fingers through her weave. Despite having an ugly and irritated frown on her face, she looked so cute in her short strapless color block dress. I recognized it as being the same dress that I saw in Nordstrom last week. The “Red Bottoms” that Iyana matched with it were to die for.
“It’s not one in particular chick or another,” Iyana explained. “It’s the lies and that secret squirrel shit. He is missing in action for hours at a time. He doesn’t answer his phone. He keeps all three phones attached to him, even in his fucking sleep. Then there are motherfuckers calling my cell and hanging up and random bitches giving me the dirtiest looks when he and I are out- bitches I know he’s fucked or is fucking!”
“Well, you know side chicks come with the territory when messing with men of Devin’s caliber. Drug dealers are in the same boat as athletes, celebrities, and rappers; mistresses are in the packaged deal when you choose to be in a committed relationship with men like them.”
“That don’t make it right though!”
“You are absolutely right.”
“How do you deal with it?”
I wanted to be totally honest with Iyana and tell her that I didn’t give two shits about other women because I longed for the day that anyone opted to have that dry and boring sex with Blood so that I wouldn’t have to. Of course, I couldn’t tell her that, so I opted for half the truth.
“I honestly have never had that issue.”
Iyana’s lips switched to the side like she didn’t believe a word that I was saying. “For real?”
“Really,” I insisted.
�
��So these bitches don’t be calling his phone, calling your phone, showing up at places and shit?”
“No.” I couldn’t believe it, but as I seriously thought about it, I was telling the truth. No matter Blood’s status, I have never had a chick be as bold as to call my phone or show up at my house. I hadn’t noticed any strange activities on his phone either; not that I looked with that intent in mind anyway.
Iyana almost looked disappointed as she said, “He must really love you then.”
With both admiration and sadness, I realized that, damn, Blood really loved me. I had dealt with regular men with regular money all of my life; men with barely a dollar to his name and even men who needed to borrow a dollar from me - all of which had fucked around on me and never respected me enough to keep their infidelities discreet.
Here I was with a man that could have had any woman that he wanted, any woman that would have broken her neck to love, fuck, and suck him, and there I sat selfishly denying him the same and being so unappreciative of what I had.
As I drove home listening to various slow jams, I couldn’t deny the itch in my panties that I couldn’t scratch. It depressed me that I was going home, because I knew that Blood couldn’t scratch it either.
I attempted to deny that disappointment. I tried to realize that, despite the bad sex and lack of emotions on my part, I had a good man that adored me. I attempted to embrace the fact that despite the lack of back breaking sex and butterflies in my stomach, I was a kept and content woman.
Then my gawd damn cell phone rang and brought me out of that fictitious contentment.
I watched my cell phone nervously as Amiel called me. He had been calling since I left his house on Monday.
I had yet to return his call.
I wasn’t ready to address that elephant in the room.
As my cell stopped ringing, my pussy started jumping as memories and thoughts of Amiel ran through my mind. I had had about four additional double shots of Don Julio as Iyana continued to rant and rave about Devin and I continued to realize how much I didn’t love or appreciate my man. Therefore, I was beyond buzzed and trying desperately to stay in my lane as I rode on the expressway.
My cell phone began to ring again, and I cursed when I saw that it was Amiel again. I wondered who in the hell he thought he was calling my cell phone back to back at two in the morning. I wondered what the fuck was so important at this time of night, so I answered the phone with a whole lot of attitude.
“Hello?!”
“Why haven’t you been answering my calls?”
“Because obviously I don’t want to talk to you!” But my attitude was so damn phony. That attitude wasn’t anger; it was defense. I had a huge guard up against Amiel because I knew that how he made me feel was inappropriate.
With a sigh, Amiel told me, “We need to talk,” in a tone that told me that I had no choice. The liquor and my horniness took that aggression as sexuality, whether than his obvious frustration with me. I was turned on by his anger and closed my legs tightly to stop the throbbing between my legs.
“What do we need to talk about Amiel?”
It was so obvious that we were upset with one another because of feelings that had nothing to with Ariana. I was still mad at him for breaking my heart, and he was mad at me for ignoring the fact that he wanted to fix it.
“You’re not going to continue to keep my daughter from me.”
“I’m not keeping her from you! You just saw her!”
“And I been calling you all week to see her again! Why haven’t you been answering the phone?”
“I was busy, damn!”
“Yea, see? We definitely need to talk. Some arrangements need to be made because I ain’t about to be going through this shit with you. You wanna hold my daughter over my head because you mad over some shit that you refuse to under…”
I couldn’t believe his audacity, so I cut Amiel off, “Who the fuck you think you talkin’ to?!”
“Tricey, stop bullshitting me and let’s talk like parents!” Then Amiel sighed as if he was tired of fighting. “I’ll meet you somewhere. Let’s just talk- for real. Tricey, please?”
While I was walking through Amiel’s front door, I knew that I didn’t go over there to talk to him. He made it worse when he opened the door, appearing on the other side of it in jeans and nothing else.
His chest still looked as big and cozy as it used to. He was still as chocolate and delicious as he used to be to me. Despite my heart being broken and hating him, my pussy immensely missed what this man use to do to her. The Don Julio was telling my pussy to just take from Amiel what she needed.
Amiel only encouraged my lust. As I entered his home, he looked at me in that all black catsuit and seemingly couldn’t contain himself. I saw him attempt to hide his awe at my sexy appearance and muffle his devilish grin into his hands as if he were wiping his mouth.
I acted as if I didn’t see a thing, told myself to get this talk over with quick, and told my pussy to shut up.
He sat next to me on the couch and just looked at me like he didn’t know what to say to me. He looked frustrated with my attitude. He also looked at me as if he knew that my attitude was fake and a facade. He looked at me like he desperately wanted the old Tricey to be sitting there with him- not this new bitch that didn’t give him the time of day.
The moment that I looked into his eyes, my body took over my mind. Whether than giving him the attitude filled mean-mug that I had been giving him, and even desperately wanted to give him at the moment, my eyes fell victim to his. I met his longing gaze and fell into the man that I use to know.
Before I knew it, he was leaning into me, and I didn’t resist. My mind was telling me no, but my body was saying “hell to the yea” and persuading him to come closer. His lips fell on top of mine, and I dared not insult the passionate silence with argument. Without thinking, considering, or contemplating, I leaned into him and kissed him with sexy aggression. Passion filled the air and it reminded my body of what it used to know.
I just simply wanted and needed to get it how I used to- just one time to knock the edge off.
As we kissed and Amiel’s hands caressed my body, I knew that what I was doing was wrong. Yet, I had been doing what felt right despite my real feelings for too long. I was ready to do the wrong thing if it would lead to me feeling good for once in the last two years.
Amiel stood to his feet and brought me along with him, continuing our tongue’s slow dance along the way. Holding me around the waist, he led me down the hall. Our walk was difficult as we continuously kissed, licked, and touched one another. As I unbuttoned his jeans, we knocked a picture off the wall. Our giggles reminded me of the Tricey and Amiel that we use to be; happy, in love, and filled with chemistry.
Fourteen
Monday, May 23, 2011
VICTORIA
I jumped to my feet when I heard the commotion in the hallway outside of the bathroom.
I could hear students running, screaming, and something or someone being thrown against the lockers. Quickly, I cleaned my nose in the mirror before running out into the hallway.
I could see a group of seemingly twenty students in a huddle towards the opposite end of the hall. It was the lunch period and the late bell had yet to ring, so there were students everywhere. Students that were in the nearby corridors, who also heard the commotion, were now entering this hallway as well, making it more and more difficult for me to make it through the crowd.
I fumbled through my pocket for my keys. Attached to them was a whistle that we used to alert the students that an authority figure was present and to dismiss.
I finally found my keys and blew the whistle over and over again as I attempted to make it through the crowd. I assumed that there was a fight in the midst of this crowd and wondered how in the hell I was going to manage to defuse the situation alone.
Though many students moved out of my way, they still stood close by to watch the mayhem.
When I finally
reached the center, I recognized Jahleel as he lay on the ground being stomped by two different guys. I threw my body amongst them, attempting to push them away. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw three security guards making their way towards me.
I silently thanked God.
Within seconds, the guards were grabbing the two assaulters. Without even thinking, I threw myself to the ground alongside Jahleel to be sure that he was conscious. There was so much blood spilling from his face that I feared the worse.
The assaulters continued to yell threats at Jahleel as they were being escorted away. “This shit aint ova, nigga!”
I could hear other security guards and teachers dispersing the stubborn crowd that was standing around. As I leaned over Jahleel, I again thanked God. His eyes were open and he was more than alert.
“Oh my God!” I screeched when I got a closer look at his face. His lips were busted open, along with an eye that already begun to swell shut.
I quickly told the security guard to call an ambulance. Then I told Jahleel, “Don’t move. Be still until the ambulance gets here.”
However, Jahleel looked at me like I was crazy. He pushed my hand off of his body and sat up with such force that he nearly knocked me down. “Man, get the fuck off me!”
His outburst alarmed the security guard that stood by. I knew why Jahleel was so angry, so I gave the guard a look that told him that it was okay and to stand down.
As Jahleel and I stood to our feet, I tried to be as delicate with him as possible. “Jahleel, you really need to be still…”
“Don’t stand here like you give a fuck about me!” As Jahleel spoke, blood shot from his mouth and stained my shirt. He was seemingly angrier with me than at the boys that just jumped him. “Don’t touch me!”
The way he yelled at me, while looking at me with blood shot eyes, scared the shit out of me. I finally resisted and let the guard handle him. As I turned to walk away, I saw Lynn standing behind me looking on sympathetically.
As I walked towards Lynn, I realized how crazy I must have been to expect Jahleel to accept any help from me. I knew that it was the cocaine that gave me the adrenaline to even attempt to help him.
Good Girls Ain't No Fun Boxed Set (The SIX romance and urban fiction volumes of the LOVE, SEX, LIES series) Page 66