A Student In Need

by Nicolas Schrammeck

  Leo pulled Alex in a bit closer. “It’s ok. Just rest now; get warm.”

  As he spoke Leo felt Alex shifted in a little closer. He could hear Alex breathing, taking in large gasps of the warm air. Gently he cupped both of Alex’s hands in his own, rubbing them gently so the skin would warm up a little faster. He could not help but blush slightly as Alex let out a low ‘churr’. After a moment the younger turtle spoke; his voice filled with embarrassment at what he had just done. “s…s…sorry.”

  Leo shrugged and continued to rub Alex’s hands. “it’s ok.”

  Inhaling, he could not stop the faint shudder that ran through his own body as his nostrils filled with Alex’s scent. There was something……intoxicating about the smell the young turtle was giving off; it was sweet yet….. again Leo shuddered as he inhaled another lung full.

  It started out slow. As the air in the room became warmer and warmer Alex’s body relaxed, his tense muscles releasing and allowing him to lay on the floor with less discomfort. Slowly his shudders became gentle trembles before they too vanished. Leo felt Alex begin to stir, slowly turning so he could look at Leo who did his best to hide the faint blush that spread over his face as the young turtle looked at him. he really was……….Leo wanted to say attractive; but now was not the time. Pushing those thoughts away Leo pulled back, making sure to keep the blankets on Alex who continued to huddle under them as Leo sat up. “we should clean those injuries.”

  Alex looked down at the floor before speaking softly “Ok.”

  Getting up Leo moved into his bathroom pulling out the first aid kit he kept under the sink, before making a short run to his bedroom and pulling on a small jacket. Without Alex’s body heat, the blankets, or the fire he was feeling a little chilly.

  Moving back into the living room Leo found that Alex had moved himself and was now laying on the couch his eyes closed and his breathing almost back to normal. Kneeling down next to the obviously exhausted turtle Leo spoke. “Are you ok? Do you feel light headed?”

  as he spoke Leo reached forward and touched Alex’s forehead noting that Alex’s skin was…….he could suppress the shudder that washed through him as he found Alex’s skin to be soft and smooth. Slowly Alex nodded. “Yeah….I don’t like it.”

  Leo bit his lip. Lightheadedness was a sign that Alex needed food; his body was trying to restart without having enough fuel to keep it running. Gripping Alex’s hand gently Leo spoke. “Stay here. I’ll get you something to eat. Ok?”

  Alex only nodded his eyes still closed. As he got up to move the kitchen Leo could not help but notice that Alex’s grip on his hand lingered for several seconds. Digging through his cupboards Leo found what he was looking for before returning to Alex and pushing the wrapper into his hand. “Eat this. It’ll help.”

  Alex did as he was told, slowly unwrapping the granola bar he had been given. It was tricky; he felt disconnected from his fingers. As though he was watching them move because someone else was telling them too. He groaned as he felt Leo dab his injuries with antiseptic making them sting and burn slightly. He watched as Leo began covering the injuries with Band-Aids. “Got any ones with skateboards on them?”

  He felt his heart flutter slightly as Leo chuckled, a small smile passing over his face. “No. but I got some nice pony ones from when my niece came to visit.”

  The split on Alex’s lip wasn’t too bad, and it would probably heal on its own, as would Alex’s black eye. Closing up his kit Leo spoke. “are you still lightheaded?”

  Alex nodded. “yes…..but it’s not as bad as before.”

  Leo smiled. “how about I fix you a sandwich while you stay here and keep getting warm?”

  he smiled as Alex nodded. Moving to stand up Leo felt a small shock pass through his as Alex reached out and gripped his hand; the smaller turtle’s hand fitting perfectly inside his. “thank you.”

  For a moment their eyes connected and Leo felt his heart lurch. Slowly he leaned in and pulled the blankets around Alex. “It’s ok. You just rest.”

  He felt a small part of him long to keep this small connection to Alex; it made him groan slightly at the loss when he pulled away. Moving into the kitchen Leo did his best to busy himself with making Alex’s sandwich to help distract himself from the odd feeling of loss of Alex’s touch. A short while later he returned finding that although Alex was still bundled under the blankets, the young turtle had moved standing up and looking at the photo’s that Leo had hung from the walls. Moving over to Alex Leo cleared his throat and watched as Alex turned, revealing the picture he had been looking at; a small photo of Leo smiling while kissing Anthony on the cheek.

  For a moment a silence stretched between the, broken when Alex spoke softly.

  “You’re………” Leo nodded. “Yes. I’m gay. Like you.”

  Alex remained silent for a moment before taking the sandwich Leo was holding out for him. Scarffing the sandwich Alex smiled sheepishly at Leo smile smiled pleasantly back at him. “We need to get you out of those clothes.”

  Alex felt his eyes widen; his mouth opening. “I…….a………I…..”

  His heart was thundering in his chest, was Leo talking about…. But his thoughts were cut off as Leo shook his head. “Shit…no….that came out wrong. You’re clothes are wet. You need to put on dry clothes or you’ll catch a cold.”

  Sighing Alex mental kicked himself for jumping to such a conclusion about Leo’s words. He felt himself shudder as the older turtle gripped his hand and led him down the hallway before moving into a room. Looking around Alex found himself in a bedroom. Dropping himself down into the bed he looked nervously at Leo who remained by the door. “I’ll go see if I can find you some clothes that will fit you.”

  He nodded and watched as Leo vanished back down the hallway. Shivering slightly Alex moved over to the door and closed it before shrugging off the blankets and beginning to strip down. His shirt came off first, the thin yellow material letting out a soft ‘flap’ as it dropped to the floor, his pants soon joining it. Shivering again Alex gripped his underwear and began to pull them down his legs. “Ok, I think I found some clothes that will-OH GOD!”

  Alex’s eyes jerked towards the door; Leo had come in carrying a small stack of cloths but had frozen and now stared at him. For a full 5 seconds they both stood frozen to the spot as their brains tried to catch up with what had just happened. A second later Leo moved, practically throwing the clothes at Alex before turning and making run down the hallway; only to be stopped as he ran face first into the doorframe making his gasp in pain as his nose collided with the hard surface.

  Stars burst in front of his face as he staggered backwards. Swearing under his breath he blinked furiously trying to rid his vision of the tears that now prevented him from seeing straight. He fumbled about looking for the wall or door; something to help him know where he was. He felt Alex grip his wrist and begin pulling him along. A second later Alex pushed him, dropping him onto the bed. Reaching up to rub his eyes Leo’s vision cleared. Nervously he looked at the floor, when he spoke he stuttered with embarrassment. “S….sorry. I didn’t expect….”

  Chancing a glance upwards Leo felt his voice die as he found Alex had pulled on the sweatshirt that had been on top of the stack of clothes. Against his will Leo swallowed the small rock that had formed in his throat. Alex’s body was perfectly framed by the sweatshirt, accenting his shoulder, chest and hips. Looking back down at the floor he did his best to calm down. “It’s ok Leo.”

  Leo felt his eyes flick back up to Alex’s. The young turtle had moved in closer now. Leo inhaled sharply as he felt Alex touch his chest before gently pushing him back so he was lying on the bed. A moment later he shuddered as Alex gently crawled on top of him, coming to rest with his hips against Leo’s. “Alex? What are you-”

  but the rest of his words were cut off as a small moan escaped his mouth as Alex gently ground his hips against Leo’s sending shivers of pleasure through his body. “Shhhhh. You’ve been nice to me Leo�
�..I wanna repay you.”

  Leo sat up and moved to speak. “No that’s not-”

  but again he found himself interrupted not by Alex’s hips this time but by his lips. Leo groaned as Alex kissed him, the younger turtle’s tongue coming out to flick across his lips; as though seeking permission. Against his will he felt his hands wrap around Alex’s wrists. Why did the kiss have to feel so good? He felt himself returning it, his tongue leaving his own mouth to explore the younger turtle’s. He felt Alex press forward grinding their hips together sending another shiver of pleasure through his body making him growl in need.

  They broke apart only from lack of oxygen both of them gasping several times before Alex leaned forward to kiss him again. As he did so Leo caught sight of Alex’s eyes, they were oddly empty and…… he let go of Alex’s wrists instead planting them against the younger turtle’s chest firmly hold him back. “Don’t….”

  Alex’s eyes changed, Leo watched as they filled with confusion, fear…..pain. “Did I do something wrong? Would you rather…..”

  But Alex stopped talking as he felt Leo pull him into a hug. “Alex……you don’t owe me anything. I want to help you.”

  He struggled against Leo’s grip. “But…..I…….need…….to repay you……I…..you……..I….”

  Leo bit his lips as he waited for what was about to happen; to happen. He’d seen that look in a person’s eyes before. When he’d been younger he’d gone to bars. He’d met boys, mostly runaways; scared, confused. Unsure of where they would spend the night, or if they would even live that long. They’d throw themselves at him and other men, desperately trying to attract one so they could go back to their home and spend the night someplace warm with a roof over their heads; instead of out in the cold. Every action they took made them seem happy but their eyes betrayed them; every kiss, touch, and thrust would be met with cold, empty eyes. The same eyes Alex had had moments ago.

  He felt Alex stop struggling and for a moment the young turtle remained still, his body tense. Gently Leo squeezed the younger turtle’s body. “I don’t want sex Alex. You don’t have to repay me, not like this.”

  He could feel it now, the small trembles in Alex’s body; each vibration growing and growing until the turtle’s entire body shook with the force of his sobs. Leo did the only thing he could do; held Alex close against his body as Alex began to sob, tears flowing from his eyes only to drip from Alex’s face and land on Leo’s shoulder. “Shhhhh. Shhhhh. It’s ok; I promise everything will be ok.”

  He continued to sooth Alex, holding the younger turtle in his arms, supporting him, willing him to understand that he was safe. He could only imagine the feelings that were rushing through the young turtle’s mind. He felt Alex bury his face against Leo’s neck and continue to sob his tears landing against Leo’s skin. Gently he did what he could rocking Alex’s body back and forth, offering kind words, holding Alex while the young turtle sobbed.

  He wasn’t sure how long they stayed like this. It could have been minutes, it could have been hours; he didn’t know. He could feel Alex’s sobs weakening, his body reaching its limit to the emotional toll it could handle. Relaxing his grip on Alex Leo looked at the young turtle. His eyes still leaked tears but they were closed, fluttering every so often as Alex tried to open them but failed. Gently he moved, shifting so he could lay Alex down against the bed, pulling the covers back before covering the young turtle with them. He watched as Alex curled up under the blankets. Moving to leave the room he looked back as Alex spoke. “Am I dirty?”

  Turning back Leo looked at the young turtle who was huddled under the blankets obviously in the fetal position. “No Alex. You’re not dirty. You’re beautiful. I promise.”

  He felt his heart break slightly as Alex let out another sob. Moving back to the bed Leo sat down. “Do you want me to stay here tonight?”

  He watched as Alex looked up at him, eyes trying to find the hidden meaning behind his words. He shook his head. “Not like that Alex. I’ll sleep in the chair.” He gestured to an armchair in front of the window. “I just…..do you want me to stay here tonight?”

  He watched as Alex nodded. Smiling at the young turtle Leo spoke. “Ok. Let me just use the bathroom and then I’ll be back. Ok?”

  Alex nodded and watched as Leo left the room, marching off into the darkness. Fighting back a fresh wave of tears Alex felt like dirt. Reaching out he grabbed one of the pillows he wasn’t using and pulled it against his chest, doing his best to hold back the fresh wave of tears that threatened to spill out of him. He bit his lip until he could taste blood in his mouth. He felt dirty, used, unworthy to be here with someone who seemed to care so much for him. He flinched as Leo reentered the room. Against his will he let out a strangled sob, burying his face against the pillow. His body ached, his throat felt raw and his vision swam as he felt the room spin. He acted without thinking. “Leo….LEO!”

  He called his name, hating himself for sounding weak. His hands tore at the blankets searching for something to grab onto the keep the room from spinning any more. He felt Leo’s hand touch his; he grabbed at it, strangling Leo’s fingers with his grip. Above him Leo was speaking again. “Shhhhh, shhhhhh. It’s ok Alex. It’s ok, everything I’ll be ok.”

  He felt a wave of fatigue wash over him; suddenly he felt drained. He didn’t even have the energy to cry anymore.

  Leo watched as Alex’s entire body seemed to relax; going limp under the covers as the young turtle reached his limit and slipped into unconsciousness. Sighing he gently tucked the turtle in so he was completely under the covers before moving over to the closet and retrieving a blanket for himself. Settling himself down in the chair, Leo sighed and closed his eyes. In the morning, if Alex was up for it; there were many questions Leo wanted answers to.

  CHAPTER 2

  Leo watched as slowly Alex began to stir; the young turtle’s eyes flipping open before slowly looking around. “Good morning.”

  He spoke softly, very aware that Alex would be in a certain amount of pain from his injuries. He watched as slowly Alex sat up, a grimace of pain flashing over his face as he held his ribs. Leo sat back in his armchair and watched as Alex slowly looked around

  the room. “Why?”

  Leo smiled weakly at him. “Why what?”

  Alex looked at his hands before speaking. “Why did you stop me?”

  Leo sighed and sat forward in his chair. “Cause I could tell it wasn't your choice to kiss me, or try to get me to sleep with you. Now look, I’m going to go and make some food. Ok?”

  Alex nodded and Leo continued. “Then after that I’m going to ask you questions and you are going to answer them truthfully. Got it?”

  Alex nodded again and Leo smiled. “Good. Now put on the clothes I brought you last night and come out to eat when you’re ready.”

  Nodding slowly Alex watched as Leo stood up and walking out the room closing the door behind him; leaving him alone. For several moments he stayed in bed; wishing he could just sink into the blankets and vanish. He wished he’d been drunk last night, wished he’d been high, something; some excuse for the way he had acted.

  But he had been sober, and there for had no excuse to why he had thrown himself at his teacher; and done his best to seduce him. Groaning Alex buried his face against his knees. He wished Leo had just fucked him or thrown him out; anything then treating him like a normal person who deserved love. Sighing Alex slowly got out of bed and began to pull on the clothes Leo had brought him the night before. Once he was dressed he dropped back onto the bed. His whole body shook at the idea of answering Leo’s questions. He felt fear well up in his gut at the idea of Leo looking at him; asking questions that Alex only asked himself when he was strung out or shit-faced-drunk. For a long time he considered jumping out the window and running away. He struggled with the idea, doing his best to rationalize why he should do it; and yet he didn’t move, he remained stuck to the bed unable to move any part of his body. If he ran away he’d never stop. He’d keep doi
ng what he had always done until the day he died. Biting his lip a fresh wave of guilt welled up inside him. He flinched as a loud knocking sound echoed through the room. “Hey. It’s been 20 minutes. Are you coming out or not?”

  Taking a deep shuddering breath Alex felt his body move, standing up and walking across the room before slowly opening the door. He looked at Leo who was looking back at him, genuine concern covering his face. “Look……you don't have-”

  But Leo cut him off. “If you even think about running away I’ll freeze your brother’s scholarships.”

  His eyes jerked up to stare at Leo who glared at him; his gaze firm but caring. “Please……don't…….”

  Leo’s gaze softened and he slowly reached out touching Alex’s shoulder. An action that

  made him jerk away slightly. “Alex….”

  He felt his eyes drawn to Leo’s; gazing into the older turtle’s eyes. “It’s ok Alex. I’m not judging you. I just…..I want to help you.”

  Alex laughed, not his normal warm laugh but a cold heartless one. “Help? No one can help me.”

  He flinched again and tried to shove Leo away as the older turtle gripped his shoulder.