Summer by the Sea

by Cathryn Parry

  Despite that, Lucy knew what was going on between them. She’d let Sarah know that she knew on the staircase that day after she and Sam had first made love. Sam hadn’t said if he’d discussed it with her further, but Sarah would be surprised if he hadn’t.

  Sarah also suspected, but didn’t know for sure, that Colleen brought home boyfriends. Lucy had mentioned that her mother had a male roommate on her Alaska cruise—a drummer in the ship’s band. Sarah got the impression Lucy wasn’t too happy about that, even though she didn’t express an opinion to Sarah one way or the other.

  Sarah just felt sympathy for the girl. Even though Richard had never called—and Sarah was certain at this point that the rejection email would be coming any day now—she didn’t feel personally discouraged. After her big cry a few days ago, she was now enjoying the interlude with Sam. If she was banished for the next month and a half, then so be it. Sarah would take her penance and then go back and fight all the more.

  To Lucy, she’d counseled, “We’ll stay positive and wait to hear from the committee.” It was remarkable to her that she wasn’t being as blunt and angry as she normally was. But Sam’s kindness and loyalty were rubbing off on her, making her feel optimistic.

  Not that Lucy completely bought it. She was miffed that they hadn’t heard yet. But Sarah usually managed to talk her out of her moods. They spent all day together, almost every day.

  Straightening, Sarah put down the bottle of moisturizing lotion. The cottage was tidied and cleaned. The lunch dishes that she and Lucy had used were washed, dried and put away, and the tiny kitchen smelled like homey lemon.

  One cat sat purring beside his empty food bowl, and the other stood guard on the front windowsill.

  “Here, Simmonds,” she told the big black cat. “You earned a treat today.” She was trying to keep his weight down, so she gave him a small portion of whole milk in a ceramic saucer she used for just that purpose. Simmonds bent his thead and lapped happily away. His milk mustache would appear in no time.

  Becker clambered down from the sill and pleaded for his portion, too. She poured him just a speck less milk than his big brother received.

  “Be good, boys,” she called to them. “I’m going out.”

  And then she heaved up Lucy’s new laptop gift into her arms and picked her way in new flip-flops over the short, sandy expanse to Sam’s house.

  When she got to his deck, she paused. The sun was sinking low over the sand dunes. It was a nice time of evening. Normally she and Sam would share an after-work beer and watch the waves break. The beach was empty at this hour. The day-trippers and lifeguards had gone home. Only seagulls and a smattering of local walkers remained to enjoy the day’s remains.

  She wondered why Sam wasn’t outside, barbecuing something tasty. She heard voices in the kitchen—Sam’s rich baritone that sent shivers down her spine and Lucy’s high voice, girlish with enthusiasm. Smiling, Sarah let herself in through the sliding screen door.

  And immediately stopped. Cassandra’s purple cane leaned against the kitchen counter.

  Please, no. Hoping it was a mistake, Sarah glanced to the chair closest to it. Cassandra sat smiling, her hair in a bun, wearing a turquoise caftan and sipping a cocktail that tinkled with ice and sported a wedge of lime on the rim.

  Rage filled Sarah. Gripping Lucy’s birthday present with all her might, she searched for Sam’s face.

  He stood over the table, opening small white cartons that could be Chinese food, could be Thai. Cassandra’s influence, likely. Sam never ate takeout like that. He was strictly a steak or pizza guy.

  “Lucy invited Cassandra to her party,” he said quietly to Sarah. “It’s her choice to do so.”

  Sarah pinned her gaze on Lucy. The girl didn’t seem to have a care in the world. By inviting Cassandra, she certainly had no idea of the hurricane she’d opened in Sarah’s soul.

  If the laptop hadn’t been for Lucy, and therefore precious, the old Sarah would most definitely have smashed it on the floor. It was just such an angry reaction that had caused Richard Lee to banish Sarah in the first place.

  Shaking, Sarah set the gift down gently. Then she straightened, exhaling as much anger out of her lungs as she could.

  Sam came over, ostensibly to greet her. “Zen,” he murmured into her ear as he kissed her on the cheek.

  “Why did you not warn me earlier?” she gritted out in a low voice.

  “Because she just showed up in a taxi,” Sam answered in an equally low voice. “I couldn’t say no to Lucy.”

  “How did Lucy possibly invite her?” Sarah hissed. “The woman has no phone.”

  “The Grand Beachfront Hotel has a telephone,” Cassandra said. While Sarah glared at her, Cassandra nodded. “Hello. You look beautiful tonight.”

  Sarah wasn’t going to be fooled by any attempts to charm or appease her. And she knew she looked good. She’d worn a short dress and pinned her hair back so it was off her face. She thought she looked quite feminine for Sam’s party.

  Sarah inhaled a breath. It wasn’t appropriate to go all Hurricane Sarah on her aunt. Lucy would be upset. It was Lucy’s birthday, and Sarah would show her aunt decency for that reason. Plus, Sam would approve. That was the choice Sarah was making—to tone it all down for the sake of her continued, improved love life and personal happiness.

  Lucy eyed her birthday present. “Wow, is that big box for me?”

  “Yes.” Sarah leaned forward to hug the girl, if a bit stiffly. “Happy Birthday, Lucy.”

  Lucy hugged her back and then bent down, fingering the yellow bow on the wrapped gift. “May I open it?”

  Sarah guessed the girl knew exactly what it was, given that she was nearly panting with desire, her fingers itchy to tear the cat wrapping paper wide open.

  “Luce, let’s eat first,” Sam ordered. He motioned her over to the kitchen table. “This is an informal dinner. Everyone will serve themselves. Why don’t you get down the plates? Oh, and bring a plate to Cassandra, please.”

  Sam looked at Sarah grimly.

  I don’t like this any more than you do was his message to her.

  “Sarah, how are Becker and Simmonds doing?” Cassandra asked pleasantly.

  A dozen retorts sprang to mind, none of them remotely civil. Sarah clamped her mouth shut.

  “Becker had some hairball issues,” Lucy answered, “but Sarah got him some new food, so he’s okay now.”

  “Oh, that’s wonderful, dear.” Cassandra sipped at her drink.

  “They both sleep with me now.” Sarah couldn’t help getting the dig in.

  “She’s like Kit in The Witch of Blackbird Pond,” Lucy said to Cassandra. “And my dad is like Nat.”

  “Ah!” Cassandra smiled and Lucy giggled with her.

  Now, what was that all about? Who were Kit and Nat? What was The Witch of Blackbird Pond?

  She shot a questioning glance at Sam, but he just shrugged and handed her one of the Irish stouts she’d bought him earlier in the week. She’d forgotten about that.

  “These are good,” he murmured. “I like them even better than the Belgian ones you brought me that first night.”

  “What first night?” Lucy asked.

  Sam winked at Sarah. “It’s nothing important,” he told his daughter.

  Lucy pouted. It was her birthday, after all.

  “What kind of cake did you decide upon?” Sarah asked Lucy. She took a sip of her stout—very stouty—and licked the creamy moustache from her lips while Sam looked on with appreciation.

  Yes, she was behaving rather well, given the circumstances, she thought.

  “Well, I decided on a classic devil’s food cake with buttercream frosting,” Lucy said.

  “How many candles?” Sarah asked.

  “Thirteen. Twelve, plus one for good luck.”

  “Why do you need good luck, de
ar?” Cassandra asked.

  Inwardly, Sarah cringed. Lucy would almost certainly be thinking about the Future Tech Scholars competition. She hadn’t completely accepted that she hadn’t made the cut. She was still smarting over it, and Cassandra was just picking at the scab.

  “Because I need luck right now,” Lucy said. “Sometimes, it’s just a stroke of luck that a person needs to get what they want.”

  “No, that’s not it at all,” Sarah said sharply.

  Sam groaned. Lucy looked crestfallen.

  And Cassandra gave her a censuring look.

  Sarah’s temper was rising. How dare Cassandra censure her? Luck had nothing to do with anything. Will did. Hard work did. Responsibility did.

  Something Cassandra, her flaky aunt, knew nothing about.

  Sarah put down her plate, her blood pressure feeling sky-high, and stood. “I’m going to overrule your dad, Lucy. Open the present now. You have my permission.”

  “Awesome!” Lucy didn’t need to be asked twice. She skipped forward and dragged the gift to the center of the floor.

  “Luce, that’s not—”

  R-r-r-i-i-p-p-p. It was like Christmas morning and the paper was gone in the twinkle of an eye.

  “Oh, look at what I got!” Lucy screamed. She leaped to her feet and hugged Sarah as if she were Santa Claus and the patron saint of all good things wrapped into one. “This is so awesome! I will love you forever, Sarah!”

  Sarah nodded, rubbing her neck where Lucy had grabbed her. She’d expected the girl to be happy, but joy over simply getting a new gadget wasn’t the message Sarah was trying to give her.

  Avoiding Sam’s gaze, Sarah fixed her attention on Lucy. “I gave you this laptop for a specific reason. Are you listening, Lucy?”

  “Yes.” She sat up straight and nodded her head vigorously.

  “You’re to use it to continue with your app project, do you understand?” Sarah said. “No matter what anybody else says about it, do not stop. Do you hear me? Do you promise?”

  “Yes, and I—”

  “Luck has nothing to do with it,” Sarah said sternly. “You can’t count on luck any more than you can count on anybody to look out for you besides yourself. Because you can’t count on people. Not really.” Here, she couldn’t help glaring at Cassandra, who seemed to be shrinking into the chair, making herself as small as she could. Good! She should be ashamed! Sarah thought.

  Her rage fueled, Sarah continued on, “Don’t trust anybody else. Don’t count on anybody to help you or save you. There’s only you, Lucy. You’re smart and you have good ideas, and I want you to take that laptop and use it to make yourself a good life. Because you deserve a good life! Everybody does!” Sarah stopped to take a breath.

  There was abject silence around her. Lucy’s mouth was wide open. Her eyes were glittering with moisture. Cassandra was gazing from her to Lucy and back again, and shaking her head sadly as if she, Cassandra, had failed.

  Well, she had.

  Sarah swallowed. She didn’t dare look at Sam. She couldn’t, anyway.

  “Lucy should be able to count on you.” Sam’s voice had an edge to it. “That’s what you promised, and you shouldn’t let her down. She also has me,” he added quietly. “And you have me, too, Sarah. You can count on me.”

  Swallowing, Sarah closed her eyes. She was going to burst into tears. She had to force it back. She would not let herself cry.

  “Thank you for the laptop,” Lucy said in a small voice. Sarah wasn’t going to open her eyes to see, but she was sure Sam had somehow nudged her to say this.

  “And it’s...okay that I wasn’t chosen for Future Tech Scholars,” Lucy said. “I mean, I would have had to move to California if I won the competition, and I’m pretty sure my mom wouldn’t have moved there to be with me, anyway. I know she said that she would, but then I talked to her yesterday and I think she’s changing her mind. At least, that’s what she said. I’m sorry I kept that secret from you,” she said, obviously addressing her dad now. “I know I should have told you...”

  Oh, no, Sarah thought. No, no, no...

  “Sarah?” Sam’s tone was bewildered. “What does she mean about keeping a secret from me?”

  Sarah opened her eyes. Sam’s face was pale, and now it was he who was struggling to hold back his pain.

  “Oops.” Lucy covered her mouth and looked guiltily at Sarah. “I’m sorry, Sarah. I know I wasn’t supposed to say that.”

  “Explain to me, both of you,” Sam said, jaw tight. “Why you couldn’t tell me about moving to California?”

  Lucy lowered her head. “It doesn’t matter anymore anyway, because my project obviously wasn’t chosen. I was rejected, Dad.”

  “Well it does matter to me that you conspired to lie to me,” Sam said, and his tone had turned cold.

  “Outside,” he said to Sarah. “With me. Now.”

  Turning to Cassandra, Sam added, “Why don’t you and Lucy finish clearing up the plates and then set up the candles on the cake. We’ll be back in a few minutes.”

  We’ll. He’d said we’ll. Sarah clasped onto that word and held it tight as Sam marched her outside to the beach for what she could see was going to be a difficult conversation.

  He was angry with her. And it broke her heart.

  She wondered what she could do to fix it. Or if she could fix it at all.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  “WHAT WAS LUCY talking about in there?” Sam asked Sarah. “After all the times I asked you to review everything about the contest details, you were deliberately keeping the truth from me?”

  He tried to keep the emotion from his voice, to act perfectly calm and reasonable and to hold it all in, but he just couldn’t do that anymore. “Didn’t you realize that if Lucy had won the scholarship and moved away, all the way across the country, then I wouldn’t be able to improve my relationship with her? The relationship I’ve been working so hard to build on this summer? Did you even consider that?” His voice shook.

  Sarah faced him in the low light of the setting sun, her expression contrite. “At first, no, I didn’t think of that—you’re right.” She appealed to him, her palms up. “You know me—I had tunnel vision about charging ahead for the win, and I honestly didn’t see at first that I was keeping anything important from you.”

  “At first, maybe.” He took a deep breath, struggling to stay calm. “And I realize that you didn’t have to tell me anything because Colleen is the one who signed the forms, but Sarah...you and I got closer. So much closer.”

  His voice cracked. “At any point along the way, especially during the past few days, you could have told me the truth. You could have given me fair warning at any time. Especially after I had that heart-to-heart with Lucy. I could tell she was feeling guilty about something, and it was this—that she deliberately kept the whole moving-to-California thing from me because she knew it would hurt me when I found out. I see that now. Sarah, you could have helped me prepare for that. Especially after I spent the time comforting you over Cassandra.”

  “I’m sorry! You know my aunt makes me crazy, and I—”

  “That’s it, isn’t it?” Sam paced, tearing his hand through his hair before he turned back to her. Suddenly, the picture had snapped into place for him. “She does make you crazy, and it needs to stop.”

  “Right. So easy for you to say,” Sarah hissed. “Did you really have to let her in tonight? Talk about fair warning,” she spat out.

  “And now you’re angry again. Lucy is a kid—she invited her. Do you see, Sarah? Do you see why you need to deal with this? Because if you don’t, it affects everything you do. All your relationships, always.”

  She stepped back, her mouth open in shock.

  “This isn’t easy for me to say.” He pointed back toward his house. “But don’t you see how you’re so fixated on your goal of getting back to
your job, of being so rich and important and never powerless again, that you used Lucy—a child—and me, who cares about you, to get what you want?”

  She started to protest, but he shook his head at her. “Let me finish, Sarah. Listen to me. Somehow, I’m sure this project with Lucy is helping you get back to your old job, helping you get what you think you need. Your hurt and your anger with your aunt just clouds your judgment and makes you close your eyes to everybody else’s feelings except your own. Do you see that? It affects all your relationships.”

  “Is that really fair, Sam?” She appeared close to crying again.

  “Yeah, I’m sorry to say, but I think it is.” He took the letter from his pocket, the one Cassandra had written to him, and showed it to her. “Your aunt and Lucy taped this note to my door and I forgot all about it in the confusion until Lucy reminded me the other day. Sarah, her apology details all her reasons for doing what she did. I wasn’t going to show it to you because I knew it would upset you, but I really would like to share it now. Just you and me. It will help you.”

  “Don’t tell me you’ve fallen for her excuses! She did this to me twice, Sam!”

  His hand dropped, and suddenly he just felt sad for Sarah. “I’m not excusing what she did. On the contrary. But don’t you want to seek to understand somebody else’s inner pain, the difficult choices they had to make, and the way they’ve chosen to cope? We’re human, Sarah. You are, too. You are. And I’m telling you that you need to get out of your head and away from your own pain so you can drop this resentment that’s affecting everything in your life. Not for her sake—for yours. For ours.”

  She stared at him as if he’d betrayed her, as if he’d been the one to abandon her, rather than her aunt. Sam wasn’t even sure Sarah had let herself hear most of what he’d been saying. She seemed to have shut off his words and stopped listening to him entirely.

  His heart sank. Obviously, she wasn’t ready to do this. “Sarah?”

  “No.” She shook her head wildly. “In fact, I don’t want to see Cassandra around here anymore. She’s hurt me too badly. And I think it’s fair that you give me my request, given the circumstances.”