by Karen Aldous
She then listened to Cal, who, although driving, had occupied Thierry at intervals during the journey looking for cars, colours of cars, trucks and playing a limited game of eye spy. Then he started singing and Lizzie, joined in, filling in all the missing words, as well as thinking of new songs and activities. In all, the time passed quickly. They stopped at service stations, giving Thierry the opportunity to play in little park areas, to let off some steam, and for the night stayed in a convenient cheap hotel not far from the motorway.
As they continued the journey, Lizzie’s head was pounding. She hadn’t slept much and was still very much on edge contemplating the task ahead. Thierry was occupied with his favourite Thomas the Tank and some Fireman Sam DVDs Lizzie found on offer in the supermarket during the week. As they neared Cannes, Lizzie’s tension was palpable. As Cal came on to the last stretch of motorway, Lizzie braced herself as Thierry watched his DVD.
‘It’s been very good of you to help us all out Cal over these last few weeks, we really appreciate it.’
‘Are you feeling nervous about Anton? I’ve noticed you’ve been fidgety,’ he said, reaching across and gently sliding a hand onto hers. His touch pulsated straight through her veins, weakening her resolve. She closed her eyes momentarily.
‘Don’t Cal,’ she said, pushing back his hand. ‘There’s…something I want to ask, about us, I mean you. I have to ask because I need an honest answer.’ Her heart pounded and her throat grew rapidly parched. ‘Do you think not having your son, Jack, has left you emotionally scarred?’
‘Strange question. No, why?’ he said, slowing the car and entering the inside lane of the motorway.
‘I feel there’s still so much I don’t know about you and, I…I am worried that you, how can I put this, might be filling a void, with Thierry I mean, that you, not having your own son in your life, are substituting Thierry.’
Lizzie watched Cal’s face as his eyes narrowed and he struggled to swallow.
‘What? I’m quite shocked that you think that, Lizzie,’ He replied. ‘That hurts in fact. How did you reach that conclusion?’
Lizzie turned her head away, peering out of her window. ‘It’s been eating away at me for…’
‘I liked you before I knew you had a son,’ he cut in, ‘That day I saw you in your mother’s kitchen, I knew you were special Lizzie.’ He shook his head. ‘I’m surprised.’
She now swallowed hard, turning back and seeing how much she’d hurt him. ‘I’m sorry, but I have to be honest and I’m just not sure about your motivation. I don’t want Thierry’s life, his future, wrecked because I made a mistake, a wrong judgement. I don’t know, maybe it’s me, with my history with men, I’m super wary or possibly over protective.’
‘I don’t hold that against you but I like Thierry for who he is, not because I crave a son. Yes I miss Jack and would have loved to have been involved in his life. I suppose I can relate to Thierry too because of the time I’ve spent with Jack. Lizzie, I promise, you can trust me...’
Lizzie rubbed her forehead. She’d obviously offended him. She sighed as he pulled out past a long vehicle into the outside lane.
‘How can I put my trust in anyone I don’t know well enough? I have to think of Thierry. What we have, had, together was good, but that’s how I feel. I can’t commit to something I don’t feel is right.’
‘Well, I don’t know what else I can say to convince you. I don’t understand. I’m blown away. But if that’s what you want.’ Cal shook his head some more and then turned the car sharply, skipping across the lanes of the motorway to the exit he had nearly missed. Lizzie was relieved to be so close now as they approached her home.
***
As Cal pulled up outside Lizzie’s apartment, the market was beginning to clear away. ‘I’ll drop you here with your things,’ Cal said, opening his car door and beginning to take the bags out of the back. ‘Where do these go?’ he asked. He followed Lizzie’s eyes across to the apartment entrance. ‘Actually, you need me to carry these up. Didn’t you say you lived on the top floor?’ he asked. But just as Lizzie lifted Thierry out of his car seat, both Sophie and Marie-Claire ran out from the doorway, beaming the biggest of smiles.
‘Oh, look. Lovely, I have plenty of help. We’ll manage, thanks Cal,’ she said, greeting them. They kissed and hugged saying how much they all missed each other. Marie-Claire and Thierry were re-united and Cal said his hellos and goodbyes to the girls and, Lizzie noticed, still gave Thierry a hug.
‘I might be hurt Lizzie but I’ll be around for a few days. Call if you need me.’ And he then drove off to his hotel in the hills. Although Lizzie felt rather drained from the journey, her spirits soon lifted and her energy elevated by the chatter and news. Sophie helped Lizzie put the bags in the lift whilst Marie-Claire took Thierry. They then walked up the stairs and collected the bags at the top. Lizzie strode in to her apartment and at once it felt breathtakingly welcoming, the doors across the balcony let in a mild breeze which she felt fanning her face. Shafts of sparkling sunlight, which she didn’t realise how much she had missed, seeped under the canopy creating a snug sense of home. The girls had obviously been busy; every surface was gleaming and along with an air of fragrant freshness Lizzie picked out the aroma of fresh herbs and garlic which was making her mouth water. For some reason there was a marked difference between similar ingredients here in the Med, compared with the UK. They certainly lost their essence in transit.
Within an hour, after freshening up, Lizzie and Sophie, leaving Thierry with Marie-Claire, sauntered off to the new salon in Rue Antibes. Lizzie updated her friend on her mother’s progress along the way. They took the signed papers with them and met the agent. Before handing over the new leases they inspected the premises once more and took possession of the keys.
‘What a great surprise Sophie, I wasn’t expecting all this.’ Lizzie hugged her. ‘Thank you for organising all this so quickly.’
‘I prayed it would all be done for when you came home. Well, it happened. Just.’
‘Brilliant!’ Lizzie said, dangling the keys and jumping up and down. ‘Now, at least we can get it cleaned up and arrange to get the work carried out. What a relief.’
‘So exciting! I did speak to Jean-Luc and he said he’ll do his best to get the work started once he has our plans,’ Sophie said with what Lizzie interpreted as a proud air of “you can trust me.”
‘You really are a gem Soph. Ooh. Fantastic. Let’s pop in here. I’ve missed the coffee,’ Lizzie pleaded, suddenly spotting a bar.
‘Good idea.’ And they scooted in.
‘So, we need to work out exactly what we want to do and he can tell us what it’s all going to cost,’ Lizzie said.
‘Will you have time to do all this Lizzie?’
‘In all honesty, I think Mum and Michael need some time together so I’m not too concerned about rushing back. So, I think so. I’ll wait for her to get her letter from the hospital. That will have the date for the tests. I’ll make sure I’m with her for them.’
‘It’s really amazing how you two managed to make up so quickly,’ Sophie said. ‘Oh deux café, sil vous plait?’ she told the waitress standing beside her.
‘It was your brilliant suggestion Dr Pitou - the Macmillan people were amazing. That first day at the hospital when I rang you, it was such an awful day. I was ready to run back to France if I had to. I was devastated by the way she spoke to me. But, when I spoke the Macmillan nurse the next morning, we had a long chat and they told me, like you did, Mum was probably trying to cope with a whole host of emotions and that I should keep trying and be patient. They told me what to expect and how to take each day as it comes and, they went to see her too, having some long chats, lengthier than mine from what I can make out but, what a difference they made. Mum said the counsellor she spoke to really made her realise what was important and suggested ways of coping. She said she was so alone and angry the first few days that it was like a guardian angel had floated in. They even went into her p
ast and discussed our relationship. So in just a few days really we’d both learned so much and we have become much closer. Then of course when she found out about Thierry, well, it was amazing, nothing like I was expecting, it just gave her a new purpose.’ Lizzie’s eyes lit up. ‘It couldn’t have worked out better. Now Michael’s back, her boyfriend, who seems really nice, and around her age, or he looks it, she’s so happy. And, it helps relieve me for a bit.’
‘Well, well, so much going on. And to think we thought Cal was her toy boy. Did you tell her?’ Sophie asked as the coffees arrived.
‘No. I was too embarrassed. I told Cal though. He laughed,’ said Lizzie giving her friend a coy giggle. ‘Gosh, then I went to bits with excitement, Sophie. Realising he was free I…well I couldn’t really hold back. I’d grown to really like him and…’
‘Lizzie Lambert, I knew there was more to this,’ Sophie interrupted.
‘Yes…but before you jump to conclusions, yes I slept with him once but, and don’t ask me how, I’ve held back since. Well, put it this way, it’s too soon, I don’t really know much about his motivations and I’ve got to sort this thing out with Anton so.’
‘Yes, be careful. Get to know him Lizzie, you know, before you get too involved.’
‘What do you mean?’ Lizzie was all ears.
‘How can I put this? You have quite a history of picking ‘wrong-uns’ if you like. I don’t want to see you…’
Lizzie gave a dreamy smile. ‘But, he’s really nice, not just gorgeously sexy, but considerate and good with Thierry, but it’s…’
‘Look if I tell you something, please don’t let on where you heard it.’
‘What? No I promise.’ Lizzie leant forward, her eyes following Sophie’s.
‘I’m sure it was just because he was young, but Charles was telling me about Cal, when he found out about his son, Jack.’
Lizzie’s expression soured. ‘Oh. I’m not going to like this am I?’
‘I’m not sure that it’s relevant but I would rather you know. Apparently, he was seventeen or eighteen and had just joined the navy when his girlfriend ran off with an American and, she was pregnant with Cal’s child but told her new guy it was his.’
‘Yes, I know,’ Lizzie nodded, ‘He told me.’
‘But, did he tell you he got violent and was arrested and charged with GBH?’
‘No…! Who did he hurt, the mother, the American, not the baby?’
‘Listen, no, nothing as bad as that. Apparently, he was in a bar, drunk and got in a fight with another drunkard and punched the living daylights out of him. According to Charles, Cal was really cut up about his ex running off with another man, and with his child. He went out drinking a lot. He’d only just got over his parent’s’ divorce which had happened a few years before, so I think he’d just had a really rough time. Luckily, the charges were dropped against him due to lack of evidence.’
Lizzie blew out a large sigh. ‘Phew. I couldn’t imagine him violent like that.’
‘He was young and that’s a pretty hard blow to take,’ Sophie acknowledged. ‘I’ve only told you, well, because, as I said, get to know him. I wouldn’t want you and Thierry caught up with the wrong person. One’s enough.’
To demonstrate Cal’s misunderstood character, Lizzie brought her friend up to date with all that had happened in Provence, pointing out his non-aggressive method of dealing with Anton which was surely admirable, as was his willingness to reunite her and her mother, even before they were aware of her sickness.
‘I’m sure you’re right Lizzie, and his navy training would probably help in dealing with serious situations.’
‘Like you say, he was young and troubled. I’m sure he’s grown a lot since then.’ Lizzie said but her flippancy concealed her inner concern about Cal. Like Anton, he too was denied access to his son. Maybe she’d done the right thing anyway. Maybe it was wise to steer clear of him.
Chapter 30
Heading to Lizzie’s apartment, they deliberately passed the new salon once more, tumbling into further discussions about their plans. An excellent distraction for Lizzie.
‘When we get back, I’ll ring Jean-Luc.’
‘He seemed really keen to help when I spoke to him,’ Sophie said.’ I think he may have a soft spot for you Lizzie.’
‘No. He’s just one of these people who enjoys his work and can afford to choose his clients.’ Lizzie recalled him complaining about fickle customers ‘He works hard and has a good team. And…,’ Lizzie lowered her tone. ‘His wife, Georgette, comes in once a month and we keep her sweet with a half-price facial.’
‘Well marriage, doesn’t stop the French!’ Sophie chirped.
‘C’est vrais!’ Lizzie agreed, ‘It’s true, but I’m English and you know I wouldn’t.’ Then Lizzie spoke more seriously. ‘Thanks Sophie – for all your help. I know you have had some huge changes to your own life without having to run mine too.’ She squeezed her friend’s arm.
‘I didn’t want you to worry, I’ve enjoyed doing it. You would do the same. The experience has been good for me, jumping in at the deep end and being able to get all those treatments was …a great bonus!’
‘Good. At least you had some pampering in my absence,’ Lizzie said. ‘Let’s pop down La Croisette for a walk. I’ve missed this place.’
‘Yes, fine by me,’ Sophie said as her friend steered her around a corner. ‘Anyway, you’ll be surprised by how much I’ve learnt, and by my own measure, how much I am capable of.’
Lizzie reminded her friend of all her achievements. ‘You could probably run this business with your hands tied behind your back. By the way, what’s the latest with you and Charles? I haven’t spoken to you much about him.’
‘Oh, he’s so me Lizzie. We get on really well. I’m not sure he wants to be involved yet though. He holds back – not sure if I’m expecting too much though, if that makes sense, but he does makes me laugh; he is so unassuming but so bright. He’s one of these people who doesn’t have an ounce of common sense but just knows so much about anything relevant. I love that about him.’ Sophie looked dreamily out to the sea as they walked along the promenade. ‘It’s beautiful here, I can understand why you stayed.’
Lizzie however was quickly reminded of the day she’d spoken to Anton and her stomach vigorously knotted. How fast that beauty had turned sour. How, after all this time she had been discovered after the care she’d taken to avoid him? Why did his sister and mother have to come into the salon? Her son was happy as he was, he didn’t need him. She really had to consider Thierry in all of this. One day it was likely he’d be curious about his father, particularly when friends and children at school have fathers – it’s natural he will want to discover his own and she didn’t want to deprive him of his right. She now had to pray Anton would be reasonable. Maybe, like Cal, his reaction was due to the shock. Once, he’d got used to the idea, hopefully he would settle down and just accept visitation one afternoon a week? No, that was a ridiculous notion. He was a totally different personality to Cal.
Or was he? Did she know Cal? No she didn’t. She didn’t want to admit it but she was missing him already. He had so quickly become part of her life, he was almost ingrained in her skin however much she didn’t know about him. It was going to be tough without him but she couldn’t take any more risks than she had already. It was difficult enough convincing Anton now that there was nothing between them, nothing he could prove anyway, and she sure wasn’t going to take that risk again.
They were now heading towards the harbour where huge luxurious cruisers moored side by side and smaller sailing boats squeezed in fender to fender around the pontoons. This was where her love of Cannes began, where she got besotted with the light, the glitz and glamour. Maybe she had spent too long in the French countryside so the sea was that much more refreshing but the change was just what she needed. The crew she had worked with for just a few weeks were fun to be around, particularly as Sophie had headed off to Paris and she was very much on
her own.
She still found it hard to believe that she fell for her boss’s charms. Anton D’Aramitz, heir to a large hotel chain, owned the yacht charter company ClassSeaCharterCo that she crewed for temporarily. She’d been so dazzled by it all. And, discovering she was carrying his child in early December, just a day before she was due to leave for Verbier, she felt fortunate to meet Margaux, one of the beauticians on one of the boats. She also worked at a beauty salon in the town and informed Lizzie of a reception job there.
Lizzie didn’t exactly have a plan but, she got the job at the salon and, after a lot of heart searching and decision making, she opted to keep her child. Finding her au-pair, Marie-Claire she had found a way forward and a future in Cannes for herself and her son. That future with her son was now under threat and that was very disturbing. Mind numbing in fact.
On their return to the apartment, Sophie prepared a salad whilst Thierry was being bathed by Marie-Claire. Their chatter was lively as they’d missed one another and had lots to catch up on with their new venture. Lizzie grabbed the phone and rang Jean-Luc first to set up a meeting at the new salon. She then poured Sophie and herself a glass of wine and threw hers down her throat, poured another and took herself out to the terrace. She then dialled Anton’s number, feeling repulsion tighten her throat.
‘I’m back in Cannes, I can meet you in the morning at ten, where shall we meet?’ she asked. ‘Ring me at the apartment.’ She put the phone down wanting to vomit. How was she going to allow him access to her lovely son?
Chapter 31
Sensing she needed every ounce of courage right then, Lizzie chose a bold red shift dress for her meeting. She flicked her sun glasses down from her head as she marched out of the apartment leaving Thierry and Marie-Claire amusing themselves with a book of stickers. The sun was stark and her skin clammy as she got down to La Croissette where most of the narrow roads led to. She ambled along trying to catch any breeze the sea air could throw at her. How calm the water was relative to her turbulent inner state and it looked so inviting. What she would give right now to head for a swim, sail, or, do a hundred push ups on the beach even, anything but face Anton.