Hold Me Tight
Page 7
“C’mon, bro. Enough,” Ben pleads, stepping forward, urging his brother to relent. “You’re scaring Ivy.”
At the sound of her name, Tim releases his hold on me. I feel lightheaded as I double over, gasping to fill my burning lungs.
“You’re an animal. You know that? You don’t deserve someone like her. You never will,” Tim snarls in my direction.
“All right, you made your point,” Ben remarks, talking Tim down while tugging on his sleeve. “Now let’s get something on that eye of yours before you’re not able to see out of it.”
“I’m not leaving her alone with him,” Tim insists, trying to stall.
“Tim, please!” Ivy responds softly.
He’s well aware that he’s on the losing end of this battle. There’s no way she’s going to choose him over me. Whatever move he was trying to make on her, he can just forget it. That’s as far as he’s ever gonna get with her. From now on, I’m not letting her out of my sight.
Tim keeps muttering to himself as Ben drags him out of the room. I hear Ivy take a deep breath when their heavy footsteps creak above our heads as they trudge up the stairs.
I keep my head turned. I can’t bring myself to look at her. She waits a minute before coming over to me, and I try not to read too much into her hesitation. She exhales again before running her fingers through my hair. Her touch is soothing, familiar. I just want to melt into her as she wraps her arms around my head. And that’s when I finally relax as she shushes me to be quiet, telling me that everything’s going to be okay, reminding me to breathe.
I collapse against her. The simple pleasure of hearing her voice is all I want. She clings to me, not letting me fall. God, I’ve missed her so much. My hands feel numb from punching Tim. So I grope for her blindly, grabbing on to her floppy pajama bottoms before spreading my palms over her hips.
But there’s something I have to do before this goes any further.
Slowly, I draw my head away from her embrace, finding the courage to finally meet her eyes. Her hair hasn’t been combed and her face is all tear-stained, but she has never looked more beautiful.
She stands, bracing herself against me. Her breath hitches when I gently start unbuttoning her shirt, but her eyes never leave my face. I stop partway up, raising the bottom half of her cami up and over her baby bump. Dropping down, I run my hands across her stomach, feeling her shiver against my fingertips. Looking up at her, I place my lips on her bellybutton, kissing the child that’s growing within her, the miracle we created.
“I will never ask you to choose again,” I say solemnly, my voice nothing but a whisper.
Ivy starts to cry in earnest, placing her hands atop mine.
“You are my heart now. Whatever happens to you happens to me.” I kiss each one of her knuckles as she sighs deeply, like she’s been longing with all her soul to hear me say these words. “I know I’m not as brave as you are, but I promise to try harder.”
“Eric, stop. You’re the bravest man I know,” she proclaims with a tender fierceness, tears shining in her eyes.
“I’m just so afraid of losing you,” I mutter, breaking down.
“Oh, Eric,” she whimpers, sobbing right along with me. “I know, baby… I know.”
I lean back against the wall, guiding her onto my lap. We don’t say anything more. We just sit there and hold each other, savoring the moment.
I don’t let my mind drift to whatever it was I interrupted between her and Tim. I don’t dwell on the fact that she’s wearing his shirt and they were having a cozy breakfast together. All I know is I’m taking her far away from here and she’s never going to see him again. Not if I can help it.
It’s been a long time since I’ve been in Tim’s family homestead. I remember spending every Memorial Day here at his uncle’s annual barbecue back when he still owned the place. Christ, it looks exactly the same—the faded rooster design on the wallpaper, the brass pots hanging by the stove. Tim hasn’t changed a darn thing. It’s like he found a way to make time stand still. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Tim’s always been nostalgic like that, refusing to let go of the past.
Ivy stirs in my arms, blinking up at me. Her fingers trace a path down the side of my face, along my jawline, and over my chin.
“I’m only gone a week and you think you can start growing a beard?” she teases, her eyes red from crying.
“Well, hunting season’s coming up—” I protest lightly.
“Don’t even think about it,” she chides.
“What do you say we get out of here?” I nuzzle my face against hers, tickling her with my stubble. “Let me take you home… Then you can do whatever you want to me.”
She laughs and it’s like music to my ears. “As tempting as that sounds, I should probably thank Tim first and not just sneak out the back door.” She sees my eyes darken at the mention of Tim. “Especially since, thanks to you, there’s not much of a door to sneak out of.”
I lower my head, guilty as charged. I let my temper get the best of me again. My father will be furious when he finds out. For the most part since Ivy left, I’ve been holding it together…until I saw what Tim was up to. No way in hell was I going to let him kiss her.
“Ivy”—I pause, unsure of whether or not I want to ask her this—“has he kissed you before or was that…?” I swallow, unable to say the words. The pointed barb of jealousy lashes my heart as I contemplate what the two of them might have been doing together all week.
“Eric, stop,” Ivy commands, the firmness of her tone bolstering my confidence to meet her penetrating gaze. “Listen to me. Nothing happened.”
I shuffle uncomfortably beneath her.
“You have to believe me,” she pleads, determined to put my mind at ease. “He might have wanted it, but I didn’t. The only one I want, the only one I’ll ever want, is you.”
I sigh, wanting to believe her. Tentatively, I brush her lips with mine, and she responds readily. I bury my hands in her hair, moaning against her mouth as she opens herself up to me. She wiggles on my lap, straddling me with her legs, wedging her stomach against my chest. I close my eyes, tasting her, claiming her, devouring her.
We part, coming up for air. This isn’t the time or place, but we’re going to continue this later. Even if we can’t go all the way, I’ll take whatever I can get. She’s just so damn irresistible. I don’t care how creative we have to get—I intend to leave her utterly spent and satisfied.
There’s a low murmuring coming from up above. Tim and Ben are trying to keep it down, but it’s clear that they’re arguing with each other. I can’t make out what they’re saying, but it sounds pretty heated.
Ivy glances up at their muffled voices. She seems ill at ease, listening to their anger erupt through the ceiling. She shouldn’t be exposed to all of this volatility. Dr. P. said that she needs to remain calm, and what do I do? I burst in here like a raging bull, setting brother against brother. Lately, it seems wherever I go, trouble is sure to follow.
I start to sit up, but Ivy places her hand on my arm, gazing at me warily.
“Eric, I know we have a lot we need to discuss, but there’s something I have to know before we leave here.” She looks so serious that my pulse starts to pound. Whatever this is, it can’t be good.
“Anything,” I assure her, waiting anxiously to hear what she intends to get off her chest.
“Why didn’t you show up for my doctor’s appointment?” she asks, disappointment reflecting out of the deep green pools of her eyes.
“Because I didn’t know about it. You never texted me.” I remain stoic, even though this news is tearing me up inside.
“I couldn’t—” she stammers. “Tim said Lauren was supposed to tell you.”
“Well, she didn’t,” I grumble. “Ivy, you know I’d never miss one of your appointments.”
“But you said you didn’t want me to have this baby and I thought you were taking it out on me when you didn’t come and—” She takes a shaky breath, try
ing to gather her thoughts. “Eric, I should’ve known. I never should’ve doubted you. I was just so confused and—”
“You had every right to doubt me. I was acting like a complete dick.” She laughs again, and relief washes over me. “I wasn’t thinking straight the day you left. I didn’t handle what Dr. P. said very well. When I went home and I was alone in the cabin, the silence was deafening. I missed you every second you were gone. I realized just how much I was giving up by thinking I could make this decision for the both of us.”
I shake my head, fully aware of what an idiot I was for believing I could strong-arm her into terminating the pregnancy. She had every right to walk away from me. I should kiss the ground she walks on, knowing that she’s even considering giving me another chance after what I put her through.
“Ivy, my life is empty without you in it. I’d rather have weeks, days, hours with you happy and content than a lifetime filled with regret. It was driving me crazy not knowing where you were and if you were all right. I hated myself for driving you away, wasting time we could have spent together.” Just by being in her presence again, I know just how foolish I was to gamble with fate.
“Eric, it’s behind us now,” Ivy implores. “Stop beating yourself up over it. Let’s just look forward to all the good things in our future, like the arrival of our child, okay?”
“There’s nothing I’d like more.” I hold her tight against me. “I was so afraid you’d hate me for what I did to you, that you’d never be able to forgive me.”
“You silly man, don’t you get it by now?” She entwines her arms around my neck, staring into my very soul. “I love you, Eric.”
I take a shuddering breath. “The good, the bad, and the ugly, huh?”
“That’s what love is,” she responds, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, making me well aware of just how special she is. When she loves, she loves with her whole heart, giving herself completely, holding nothing back.
“Ivy, you showed me what it means to love. I never knew the full meaning of the word until I met you.” I lean in for a soft, delicate kiss. “I love you, Ivy. I always will.”
“But you loved Cassidy too?” she questions, drawing back ever so slightly.
“Not like this,” I affirm. “Never like this.”
“Did your feelings for her change when you found out about her and Tim?” Ivy prods.
“I wouldn’t say that,” I admit honestly, struggling to express what I mean. “All I know is that you and I have been through so much together, and with everything that threatens to come between us, my love for you only grows stronger. I’ve never experienced anything like it. I don’t feel complete without you. I was missing a part of myself until you entered my life. And while I thought what I had with Cassidy was real, you’re the one who makes me feel whole.”
“Thank you…thank you…thank you,” she says, giving me a series of playful pecks on the cheek. “You don’t know how much I needed to hear you say that.”
“It’s the truth,” I state, my voice deepening as I slide her hand into mine. “What we have…is all ours.”
In the doorway, Ben clears his throat to announce his presence. “Sorry to interrupt. I figured you needed some privacy. But, Eric, I just wanted to tell you your father just pulled up outside.”
“Oh shit,” I mutter.
“Yeah, Will must’ve tipped him off, told him where we went. I’m sorry, man.” Ben shuffles uncomfortably, unsure of what to do.
“Where’s Tim? I want to say goodbye to him before we go.” Ivy slides off me, lowering her cami back into place.
I already miss the warmth of her body against me. It’s going to be torture being around her until I can get her back in our bed. My dad is the last obstacle I want to face right now. I thought we’d make a mad dash out of here, but it appears that’s not going to happen.
“Tim went for a walk to clear his head.” Ben shrugs, offering no further explanation about his brother’s whereabouts.
“Oh no. I wanted to thank him before I just up and left,” Ivy groans.
I take great pains to ignore her discomfort. She just declared her love for me. I shouldn’t be envious of her wanting to express her gratitude to Tim, but I am. I hate it every time his name falls from her lips—lips I want uttering my name, not his.
“Yeah, well. I’ll be sure to tell him you were asking about him,” Ben responds distractedly.
I can tell Ivy’s upset that Tim’s upset, and that bothers me. There’s some attachment there between them whether I want to acknowledge it or not. He was her knight in shining armor. He took her in out of the cold, welcomed her into his home when it seemed like the whole world had turned against her. Of course she’d want to thank him. Why wouldn’t she?
But they never would have met if I hadn’t been so pigheadedly stubborn. My selfishness is what threw them together, making Ivy feel like she’d had to flee. If I should be mad at anyone, I should be mad at myself. I opened the door a crack, and he snuck through it and into her heart. When Ivy cares about someone, that’s it. She cares about them for life. And now he’s weaseled his way in, establishing some sort of friendship with her. And I’m going to have a heck of a time getting him out of the picture now, especially with Ben working at the garden center.
And of course, there’s Lauren. She’s as much to blame for this as I am, forever coming up with ways to keep us apart. Lauren knew what she was doing when she introduced Ivy to Tim. She knew what it would do to me.
“Are you ready, babe? It’s freezing out. We shouldn’t keep your dad waiting.” Ivy looks at me with concern when she catches me staring off into space, my mind a million miles away.
“Yeah. Let’s get out of here,” I respond, snapping out of it as I toss an arm around her shoulders.
I’ll feel better once I get her home. I know I will. It is just being here, stuck in some weird place between these persistent memories and an uncertain future. All I know is that, whatever happens, the past is not going to repeat itself.
It can’t.
Chapter Eleven
Ivy
“Wow. I’ve never seen your dad that mad before. I don’t think he said one word to you on the way over here,” I remark to Eric as I watch Frank drive away, shivering against the chill both inside and out.
Frank made it known the minute we hopped in the back seat of his car that he’d seen the shiner Tim was sporting when he passed him on the road, although Frank gruffly talked to me about it, acting like Eric wasn’t even there. I know he doesn’t like when his son loses control, but I think I was partially to blame in this case. I knew staying with Tim was wrong and that nothing good would come of it.
“Yeah, he’s pretty pissed, but he’ll get over it. He always does.” Eric shrugs, but I know his dad’s giving him the silent treatment has to be bothering him.
I squeeze his arm, and he smiles at me. He’s come a long way since we first met. No one gives him enough credit. Not that I’m glad that he punched Tim, but his meltdown could’ve been a lot worse considering our reunion consisted of his almost catching me kissing another guy—and not just any guy, but the one who might’ve been the father of Cassidy’s baby. But he doesn’t need to know about that—not yet, anyway.
“Where’s Shep?” I ask, looking around, hoping to change the subject.
“He’s been staying with my parents. I’m afraid I haven’t been good company for him lately,” Eric says sheepishly, giving me a sidelong glance.
Our mutual guilt is heavy, hanging in the air between us. We need to put it behind us pronto. We usually have such a free and easy vibe whenever we’re around each other. Now everything seems strained, like we’re being extra careful not to say the wrong thing.
“Then why is Shep’s blanket all scrunched up on the couch?” I wrinkle my brow, pointing over at it.
“I’ve been letting Will crash in front of the fire. He must have grabbed it off the floor,” Eric explains, trying to stifle a yawn.
The corner of his mouth twitches as he peers down at me, sliding his arms around my waist. “See how lost I am without you?”
“Oh, Eric Young. What am I going to do with you?” I shake my head as I sink into his embrace.
“I know a lot of things you can do to me,” he whispers wickedly, a low current of desire running through his voice.
“We have a lot we need to talk about first,” I insist, but he ignores my entreaty, instead raising his hand to smooth the hair away from my face.
“I agree,” he says huskily. “Like how kissable your neck is.”
He lowers his head until his lips are skimming across my collarbone. He’s well aware of what this does to me, and I can’t resist tossing my head back with a sigh. His hold on me tightens as I lean back in his strong arms, granting him full access.
He lingers on that little dip in the center, and I cry out as he flicks his tongue right in that sensitive groove that makes my toes curl. He’s going to leave a mark if he keeps going. Unfortunately, I don’t own enough maternity turtlenecks to hide his love bites.
“Eric,” I protest, grasping his biceps.
But he doesn’t listen. Instead, he increases the pressure of his tongue, making me groan in response. I feel his lips smile against my skin, emboldened by the sounds of pleasure he’s drawing from my lips.
But just because I’ve been gone for a week doesn’t mean I’m going to let him do whatever he wants. I grab a handful of his hair and pull back hard. He raises his head, challenging me with his eyes.
“Careful,” I taunt him.
But the fire in his gaze only burns brighter. He doesn’t even hesitate before scooping me into his arms. In three quick strides, he’s climbing the steps, carrying me like I weigh nothing at all, although it feels like I gained five more pounds over the last week alone.