Forget You

by Jennifer Snyder

  There was some mumbling I couldn’t make out, and then Cameron was breathing in my ear. “What the hell is going on here? Have I been replaced?”

  In my head I could picture the expression twisted onto his face right now—wide eyes, his hand brushing along the back of his neck, and he was no doubt about to head outside to smoke a cigarette. At the sound of a door opening and the crazy wind whistling against his phone, I knew I was right. Grinning, I waited for the flick of a lighter, and his sharp inhale before I answered him.

  “You know that would never happen. I just needed Paige’s opinion on something,” I insisted, drawing the blanket up around my neck, and snuggling deeper into my couch.

  “Okay, I’ll let that one slide, but only if you tell me about this company you had last night. You dating someone I haven’t met?” His words came out sounding light and teasing, but I knew Cam, so I heard the true meaning behind them—he was serious. Dead serious.

  I was beginning to think Cam had a huge desire for me to have what he’d found with Paige for myself. It was something I wanted too. Ever since the two of them had first gotten together, I knew that what they had was possible for me as well. If Cam could find something so great being as broken as he was on the inside, then I could too. It was possible. Paige and his relationship gave me that hope.

  “It happened too fast. There really wasn’t much time to let you meet him,” I said.

  “What do you mean? There’s always time,” Cam said. I could hear him taking another drag off his cigarette, and I suddenly wished Paige would get him to quit.

  I rolled my eyes. “I mean, things between us moved fast. We saw each other at a park, then coincidently at a party I got dragged to that was for him, and then we went out in what feels like rapid succession dates.”

  “How many?”

  “Three,” I answered.

  “And then you let him spend the night with you?” I could hear the smirk on his face through his words. “Are you a three-date-minimum now?”

  “Whatever,” I muttered. “I’m not a three-date-minimum; that’s just how it happened.”

  “Okay, so where is the guy now? He obviously left already, deciding to brave this shitty ass weather, or else you wouldn’t have been talking about him to Paige. We wouldn’t be discussing this right now either; you would have found some lame reason to cut the conversation off.”

  God, Cam knew me so damn well sometimes.

  “He had to go,” I said.

  “He had to go?” he repeated my words slowly. “Why? Did he one-night you, and you’re upset because you thought it would be more than that? Are you that smitten with this douche already, after three dates?”

  Direct and straight to the point, I didn’t know why I ever expected any less from Cam.

  “No…maybe, I don’t know.” I rubbed my forehead with my fingertips. “It’s not like that.”

  “Then tell me what it’s like, because from where I’m sitting, it’s looking a hell of a lot like that.”

  “He had to leave first thing this morning, because he’s part of the National Guard. They sent him and his unit, or whatever it’s called, to help with the people trapped on the highways between here and Carver,” I informed him. “And he’s not a douche.”

  “Hmm, okay.” The sound of a door opening and closing filled my ear for a second, before the phone went eerily silent.

  “Cam? You there?” I pulled my phone away from my ear, and checked to see if I’d dropped his call or vice versa.

  “Yeah.” He chuckled. “I’m here. Just was darting back inside. It’s colder than shit out there. I hope this soldier boy you’re so damn smitten with stays warm. I don’t know what you’d do with a soldier popsicle.”

  “Oh, funny.” I rolled my eyes, but couldn’t keep the smile off my face.

  “Don’t act all pissy and sarcastic. I can hear the smile on your face,” he chided.

  “You got me.” My smile grew as I said the words. Jesus, I loved Cam to pieces.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  SAWYER

  Bitterly cold, that’s what it was outside. No matter how many layers I put on, the wind still managed to find its way through. How some of these people had been sitting inside their vehicles without heat and yet still seemed to be in decent moods was beyond me.

  I moved to the next vehicle, and knocked on the driver side window to offer the occupants blankets and see if there was anything else they might need. A little boy who looked to be around seven pressed his face against the backseat window to get a better look at me. He was missing his bottom two front teeth when he smiled. I grinned at him as his mother rolled down her window to speak with me.

  “Hey, ma’am, I was checking to see if you needed a blanket? I can see your vehicle is no longer running,” I said, using a calm voice. She looked frazzled around the edges, and I wanted nothing more than to soothe her unease. This was my duty in our current situation—to help soothe the citizens, and make this situation as comfortable as I possibly could for them.

  “Thank you,” she said as she accepted a blanket from me. “My car ran out of gas. I knew I should have headed home earlier than I did. I don’t know what I was thinking.” Tears were swelling in her eyes. The frustration and overwhelming emotions of the situation twisted her features and widened her brown eyes.

  “It’s all right. This storm came on quickly. You need to focus on the fact that you and your son are safe. That’s something to be grateful for.” I attempted to reassure her. “Is there anything else I can get you? Food? Water?”

  “I had some crackers in the bottom of my purse, but we ate those about four hours ago.”

  Four hours ago. Images of where I’d been four hours ago surged through my mind—inside Eva’s warm apartment, sleeping while her head rested on my chest. I shook the thoughts and mental images from my mind. There were other things I needed to think about, other things that needed to consume me besides thoughts of Eva and what we’d done.

  “I’ll bring you both something to eat in just a moment,” I insisted. “How are you doing back there, little buddy? Are you warm enough?” I ducked lower, so I could make eye contact with him.

  “Yeah, I’m fine.” He smiled, and nodded his head enthusiastically. “This is so cool!”

  My eyes shifted back to his mother. A tired smile stretched across her face. It was amazing to me the way children could find something good in practically every stressful situation known to man.

  “I’ll be right back.” I handed another blanket to the mother, and nodded toward her son. “For him, just in case.”

  “Thank you.” She took the blanket, and rolled her window up as I walked away.

  Heading back to the Humvee, I nabbed two hot sandwiches for the boy and his mom, along with two bottles of water. Making my way through the stranded vehicles and lingering people, I reached their car again and passed the mother what I’d brought.

  “A soldier just gave me a sandwich. No one at school is going to believe this!” the boy muttered from in the backseat, and I laughed.

  A commotion three vehicles ahead caught my attention. Two men were arguing, and shoving one another. I couldn’t make out what the altercation was about, but from the looks on both of their faces, they were pretty heated. I had wondered when something like this would happen. Put people in a situation where they felt completely helpless, and it wouldn’t be long before tempers would fly. It was a proven fact. It was also one of the reasons I was here as military police.

  I watched as one of the men reached into his car for something. From where I stood, all I could see was him gripping a dark item in his right hand, but I wasn’t sure what it was…until I heard it go off. In a split-second, all thoughts evaporated from my mind as chaos exploded around the vehicles closest to where the shot had been fired. The woman I’d been talking to screamed, and a hand flew to her mouth.

  Everything around me slowed.

  On instinct, I glanced to the little boy in the backseat. The loo
k on his face would forever be burned into my memory. It was one of complete shock and utter panic. He’d seen everything. In an instant, his entire view of the world and everything in it had changed. His blissful innocence and capability to find the good in stressful situations, and handle them with ease, had died.

  I darted from where I stood toward the man with the gun. His hands were covering his ears, the gun still gripped tightly in his right one. The closer I got to him, the more his body seemed to shift in my direction. My eyes took in the strained, unbelieving expression plastered on his face.

  He couldn’t fathom what he’d just done.

  “Sir, put the gun down,” I shouted in as calm a tone as I could manage over the noises stemming from his action. Once I was less than six feet from him, I slowed my descent upon him. My heart hammered at the unpredictable situation I’d found myself in. “Please, sir, put the gun down.”

  “He pissed me off,” the man said in a wavering, clipped tone. His hands left his ears, and dropped to his sides. All the life drained from his face as he glanced at the man lying at his feet. Blood pooled from the victim’s head, and made its way toward the assailant’s shoes due to the dip in the road. “He wouldn’t turn down that fucking thumping music of his! I’d asked him numerous times, and he just cranked that rap crap of his louder each time I walked away. He wouldn’t listen to me! He wouldn’t!”

  My eyes skimmed over the victim’s body, this time looking more closely than the last. He was young, about the same age as I was, if not younger. The rumble of bass stemming from the vehicle beside me must have been his. It was low now, but apparently, it hadn’t been low enough for this guy.

  Licking my lips, I swallowed hard and took another tentative step forward. “I understand how stressful that must have been, how angry you must have felt. Being stuck in this storm on the highway was enough, but add in this kid’s music, and it must have been unbearable.”

  I didn’t understand. I would never understand killing someone simply because he or she wouldn’t turn down his or her music, but I had to sympathize with him, or at least appear to, before I could safely get the gun from him.

  “He just wouldn’t turn it down. He smirked at me like a little punk,” the man stated.

  By now, I was less than five feet away from him, and two other military police were closing in behind him as well. There was a chance we could detain this guy without anyone else getting hurt. My heart thundered incredibly hard in my chest as I took a few more steps toward him. Silently, I prayed he would hand me the gun when I reached for it.

  “Can I have the gun, sir? I don’t want anyone else to get hurt,” I insisted.

  The man locked eyes with me. They were bloodshot and wide with panic, crazed-looking—eyes that would forever be burned into my memory.

  “Me either,” he whispered. The gun he’d been gripping tightly rose to his temple.

  I lunged across the distance separating us, hoping to intercept what I knew he was about to do, but I didn’t make it in time. His bloodshot eyes remained trained on mine as he pulled the trigger.

  Blood splattered across the front of me. Screams and cries of panic flooded the early morning air. His body seemed to stand there, suspended for a long moment as life left each of his limbs one by one, until he fell into a slump over the young man at his feet. I froze. My eyes unable to comprehend what they’d just witnessed, my mind incapable of taking in all the details around me.

  I’d just watched someone take his own life in front of me. Wet warmth on my face registered in the back of my mind. Looking down, I trailed my eyes over the blood splatters across my hands and uniform. What had happened? What had made him decide right then that this life wasn’t worth living anymore? What had made him snap and take another’s life in the first place?

  Taking a step back, I watched as my unit descended on the scene from all angles. Andrew came up behind me, and placed a hand on my shoulder.

  “You all right, man?” he asked.

  I couldn’t find my voice to answer him, so I nodded instead. Far from all right, that’s where I was, but I couldn’t say that.

  “Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up.” He gently pulled on me. “Let the other guys deal with that.”

  That. The word sounded harsh and cold, insensitive. That had been two people, two lives extinguished before my eyes.

  As I followed Andrew through the throng of vehicles toward our Humvee, I took in the horrified expressions of the bystanders’ faces, the ones who were close enough to see what had happened, the people who would forever be haunted by that memory.

  As I passed the car with the mom and little boy, I noticed the boy was now in the front seat, wrapped in his mother’s arms. His tear-stained face glanced at me, his eyes meeting mine. They had been so full of life before, and now they were dull, corrupted by the madness of the world, darkened by things he shouldn’t have seen at any age.

  Inhaling deeply, I continued toward the Humvee with the intention of cleaning myself up and getting back out there. I needed to help these people. I needed to make the situation that had just turned as bitterly cold and crazed as this winter storm a little lighter somehow.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  EVA

  Glancing at my phone for the millionth time since hearing the local news about a double shooting on highway eighty-seven, I realized there still wasn’t a text or missed call from Sawyer. Same as it had been all morning. I knew he was okay though. The report the news anchor had given said there had been two casualties and no one else had been hurt. Nothing had been mentioned about one of the two being a Guard member. It seemed there had been an altercation between two men, and one had pulled a gun on the other, killing him point blank, before the shooter had taken his own life.

  I couldn’t imagine what it must feel like to be there right now, or worse, to have witnessed the shootings. My heart went out to those who had, and to the families of those lost. The reminder that the world could be a cold place at times swam through me, churning my stomach even more.

  My cell chimed as a new text came through. My heart leaped into my throat as I reached for it, praying it was something from Sawyer. It was a message from Paige instead.

  Just saw the news. Oh my God! Have you heard from Sawyer yet?

  Holding my breath for a moment, I exhaled slowly and typed out a response.

  No. Not yet. I’m hoping to soon. ~ Eva

  I’m sure he’ll call or something shortly. He’s probably busy. That place looks like chaos.

  My lips twisted into a frown. What if he didn’t call soon?

  Yeah, you’re probably right. ~ Eva

  I wondered if this was how it would feel each time he was sent someplace, should we happen to stay together. My heart hammered with the thought. Would I be able to handle that type of stress? Googling “National Guard”, I searched for how many times they were deployed each year and for what exactly. The results didn’t seem to pull up much information. According to the official website, they were sent to areas within the state they served in most, but there were times when they would be sent overseas, should the federal government have a need for them. The gist of it seemed to be all local stuff though; maybe this altercation on the highway had just been an unusual blip. Guilt crashed through me at my word choice—someone’s death should never be categorized as an unusual blip.

  Tossing my phone onto the couch beside me, I curled up beneath my blanket again and continued to watch TV, waiting until they reported the mess on highway eighty-seven and the surrounding counties had been cleaned up. Maybe then, Sawyer would be on his way back to me.

  * * * *

  Tuesday came and went without a word from Sawyer, but plenty of calls from my friends. Apparently, I was the only one snowed in alone. Come Wednesday morning everyone seemed to know about Sawyer’s current whereabouts and my nerves at the situation. The snow trucks hadn’t been able to make it around to salt and scrape much. It didn’t matter though, because there was no way I was
venturing out in this crap until I felt confident most of it had disappeared. I had a small amount of savings in my bank account, and I would tap into it for every penny if I had to, just to be able to stay where I was—at home, safe.

  After gathering some clean clothes, I made my way to the bathroom for a warm shower. I was positive someone would be stopping by at some point today to visit. My bet was it would be Cameron and Paige before anyone else. He would want to make sure that I wasn’t going insane being cooped up because of the weather.

  As I lathered shampoo into my long hair, I thought I heard something. It sounded like someone pounding on my front door. Pursing my lips together, I wondered if it was the girl in the apartment beside me again. She had been even less prepared for the snow than I was. In fact, she had already been by twice in the last few hours for random things. The first time was to see if I had any milk she could have, because she’d run out, and her kids wanted cereal for breakfast. The second time had been a few minutes ago, when she’d swung back by for more milk and some butter so she could make a box of mac and cheese. I’d given her everything she’d asked for without much fuss. I understood not being prepared for this crap weather better than anyone, considering I had been living off the things I could scrounge up from in the depths of my cabinets for the last few days. The only thing that irked me in the moment was her horrible timing.

  Rinsing the shampoo out of my hair as quickly as I could, I slathered some soap across my body, hoping she would give me a couple more minutes. The knock came again, this time a little louder. The noise seemed to echo through my silent apartment. A sudden urge to yell out for her to give me a minute filled me, but I never did. I hated being rushed while in the shower. It was another thing on my long list of pet peeves. She would have to wait until I was finished. When I got out, if she wasn’t there anymore, then I’d head next door and ask what she’d needed. No biggie.